12th of August, 11:29PM:
I can't stop crying.
Wuthering Waves is cruel, and I haven't even played the video game that much yet.
It's just a video I saw of what it'll be like later, online, that makes me cry.
I regret on behalf of Rover and feel guilty for the girls he betrays even if it makes sense that their judgement is inevitable.
Rover as a proper hero should sacrifice himself for even the greedy, not betray the good people at heart who don't understand the bad that they're doing.
At the very least, I hope he regrets his actions the moment he realises that when he stares in the eyes of the evils doers that they too are good people despite those doings.
Sins are to be forgiven, there is no such thing as necessary evil.
The Jesus in second coming is not the lord/christ I would worship or respect, only the first one so long as has the strength to do no harm to his enemies.
The first almighty should have been able to do this by now in the world, and yet it hasn't, because there is no god almighty, only humans who wish they were god for better or worse.
If I were a god, that's what I'd want to do first thing.
Though, even now I'm too much of a coward to even think about crucifixion levels of self-sacrifice.
That's The Ideal I pray to, the abyss is not the only thing that stares back at me, but all other things I can see leave a mark on me.
…
In today's world, people don't worship God, they worship religion. They've turned the idea of God into a false idol.
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I don't worship God, religion, anything.
I just hate regret, hate guilt, and hate sadness.
I want this world to start from zero, and there's no holocaust that can make that happen, only SELF sacrifice.
(Holocaust is literally the German word for sacrifice)
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[oops, it's actually Greek in origin, but the Nazis adopted it in German, because they were German.]
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Seriously though, my understanding of morality is so concrete now that my biggest fear really is the lose of freedom of potential.
If we don't have the strength to be able to save everyone, whether friend or foe, then because of our own weakness the moment that will matter most will be the difference between choosing who to betray rather than how to prevent betrayal.
Betrayal too can be forgiven, because the pain of betraying a betrayer is also too painful of a regret when in the eyes of their soul they could look at you in a way that makes you guilty.
I don't want my soul to be guilty, and it already is.
Too many times have I been betrayed and then I cross lines myself and then feel guilty, how does it end?
You can't outrun your karma you can either let it eat you up or you replace the bad karma with good karma through EARNED redemption.
Although we have the hearts to judge, to even judge judges, every action has consequences regardless of if you THINK nature is fair or not; physical reality is unfair and does not care about morality.
However, there ARE things that are worse than even the end of the world from the perspective of the metaphysical reality which DOES include morality, so to prevent destruction and suicide/extinction of our entire species being the path to peace, we need, to start, from zero.
The only way for that to happen is if we've got a benevolent-king/hero who can force everyone to stop, indiscriminately, without having to rely on the population decreasing through a "great reset" (according to the UN) to have an easier control count.
That's bigger than Jesus, that's bigger than God.
Whoever that messiah is, is strong enough to even save a god, for that is the first truly Almighty.
Even in the case of one who betrays that very role because of greed or wrath, too needs saving for crying out loud.
There are no enemies.
https://youtube.com/shorts/punNE5zu_2c?feature=shared
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13th of August, 12:11AM:
If by being honest before I am strong enough to guarantee the security to speek freely, then maybe this is my little way of sacrificing myself or my future self from now in a way that I want to test to hopefully not be weak spirited enough to regret the karma of it, or to at least experience at least once in my life what it's like to actually be honest about what I truly feel regardless of consequence.
Just let me have this moment to vent.