The room was quiet after Lior's confession. His words still lingered in the air, heavy and tender, carrying the weight of years he had held inside. Kaein sat across from him, his gaze steady, yet his mind was slipping away into memories he had long tucked into the corners of his heart.
He thought back to the first time he noticed Lior—not just as the quiet boy in the class, not just as the top ranker everyone envied, but as someone he wanted to reach. Lior had been like a wall, untouchable, eyes always on his books, never lingering long enough on people to give them room to approach. Kaein had wanted to speak with him countless times, but the only bridge he could find was through studies.
Kaein lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling in silence after listening to Lior's story. His heart was heavy but warm at the same time. The words Lior had spoken weren't unfamiliar—they were pieces of a past Kaein had lived through too, but from a different angle.
For a long while, he didn't speak. The room carried the weight of everything unspoken, filled only with the faint hum of the night. But inside him, the floodgates had opened. He was remembering.
Lior's words replayed in his mind, every fragment of that confession carrying a weight he had never dared to imagine. It was strange—how much he thought he knew about his only friend, and how little he had truly understood.
But as silence settled in the room, memories from years ago began to resurface, one after another.
He was nine again, walking into class with his books clutched tightly against his chest. Lior was already there, his expression calm, distant—always cold toward everyone else. To most, he seemed unapproachable, too serious, too self-contained. But Kaein remembered how his own heart raced, wanting to say something—anything—that could make Lior look his way.
The problem was, Kaein didn't know how.
He wasn't witty enough to joke. He wasn't bold enough to strike up casual talk. The only thing he was certain about was that Lior excelled in studies, far beyond anyone else. And so, trembling with hesitation, Kaein found his excuse.
"Can you… help me with this problem?"
That had been his first real step into Lior's world. What surprised him wasn't just that Lior agreed—it was the way his eyes softened, the faintest trace of warmth breaking through his cool exterior. That moment etched itself into Kaein's memory: the realization that Lior wasn't cold, he was simply protecting himself.
Back in high school, when Kaein first noticed Lior, it wasn't because of his grades—though Lior was untouchable in that regard. It was because of the way he carried himself. Quiet, distant, almost unreachable. He wasn't like anyone else. While others laughed and talked, Lior sat like a wall no one could climb.
Kaein remembered those days vividly. He wanted to talk to him so badly, but he didn't know how. They had nothing in common. Sports, games, jokes—none of those felt like the right bridge. And so he latched onto the only thing he could think of: study. It was the safest, most natural excuse. He had kept the thought locked inside him for nearly a year before finally speaking up.
And when Lior agreed—when the cold boy who never shared with anyone actually said yes—it felt like something inside Kaein lit up. He hadn't shown it, but his heart had raced that whole day.
For Kaein, studying with Lior had never really been about the marks. Yes, he had worked harder than ever, and yes, he had climbed the ranks, but that was only because every time he learned something new, it gave him a reason to sit beside Lior again.
The truth was, Kaein had always been jealous too. Not of Lior's intelligence, but of how others might come close to him. Even if they failed to reach him, the thought alone made Kaein restless. He didn't want anyone else to see the little things he had started noticing—the way Lior's eyes softened when he was deeply focused, the rare curve of a smile when he solved a difficult problem, the quiet sighs he let out when the world weighed too much on him.
He had been greedy in his own way, wanting to capture those moments for himself.
And just like Lior, Kaein had never called it love. He didn't know what it was supposed to be called. But he knew he couldn't imagine school without sitting beside him. It had been ten years, yet even now, the simple memory of walking into the classroom and knowing Lior would be there had the power to make his chest ache.
Kaein turned his head slightly and looked at Lior, who was sitting near the window, lost in thought. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. In that quiet space, where the world seemed to fade away, he finally understood what Lior had meant:
Even without saying the words, they had always known.
---
"I thought you were out of my league," Kaein murmured softly, his voice trembling as the memories played out.
Lior's eyes lifted, curious, but Kaein didn't stop.
"I kept my feelings for a year, Lior. A whole year where I wanted to talk to you about so many things, but the only excuse I had was… studying. You were always cold with everyone, so I thought if I tried any other way, you'd just push me aside. But then you agreed… and that was the moment that surprised me most. You let me in."
He remembered the day clearly. He had asked Lior to tutor him, half in hope, half in fear. He hadn't expected anything—just maybe a glance, maybe a word. But instead, Lior had agreed. Not with warmth, not with excitement, but with a calm nod that still made Kaein's heart skip.
At first, their meetings were only about books and formulas. Kaein would sit across from him, pretending to focus, but secretly memorizing the curve of his handwriting, the way his brow furrowed in thought, the small sighs when he explained something twice. That time became precious to him.
"I was jealous too," Kaein admitted, the corners of his lips tightening. "Whenever I saw others standing near you, talking with you, laughing with you—even if it was rare—I hated it. I wanted to be the only one close to you. That's why I studied so hard, Lior. Not just because I wanted to be a topper, but because… it was my way to capture you, to stay by your side."
The silence between them deepened. Lior's lips parted slightly, as though to speak, but Kaein wasn't done. His memories kept unraveling like a string.
He recalled how he had written and rewritten words he could never say. How he envied those who could talk to Lior casually, when he himself had to carefully choose every word. How he would sit in class pretending to look at the board, but in truth, watching the way Lior's eyes flickered when sunlight passed through the window.
For ten years, he had walked beside Lior. They studied together, laughed quietly in corners, shared small victories and silent disappointments. And still, even after a decade, there were moments when Kaein felt shy around him—because being near Lior never became ordinary.
Now, after their long separation, hearing Lior's story had made everything fall into place.
"For ten years, we sat together. Ten years, and still… you made me nervous." His voice lowered, almost breaking. "Even after so long, I couldn't look at you without feeling like the boy I was back then—trying to find a way, any way, to reach you."
Kaein finally lifted his gaze to meet Lior's. In his eyes was a quiet storm of everything he had buried: the jealousy, the fear, the longing.
"I thought I was the only one hiding it," he whispered. "But now… hearing you, I realize we've both been walking the same road without saying a word. Maybe we didn't realize it was love back then. But… Lior, you've been my world too. You always were. And you still are."
Kaein didn't need to confess. He never had.
Because when Lior looked at him with those eyes — the same eyes that once softened when he asked for help, the same eyes that still carried the weight of ten years' worth of memories — he understood.
They had never been ordinary friends.
They had been each other's choice, each other's constant, even without promises, even without confessions.
And that was enough.
For a long moment, the two boys sat in the weight of their shared truth. The years of unspoken feelings, jealousy, and hidden devotion lay bare between them.
The night outside stretched endlessly, but within the small room, time seemed to stop—leaving only Kaein and Lior, and the fragile, undeniable bond that had quietly grown with them all these years.