Book 1
Chapter 16: Fire Cavern Foxtrot: The Debt Collector Spiders
The air in the Fire Caverns was thick with sulfur and a heat that felt like a physical blow. The party picked their way through jagged rock, each step crunching on volcanic scree.
---
Pegasus in Peril
Suddenly, around a bend, they came to a small, enclosed grotto. Lying dazed on a bed of warm volcanic ash was a tiny, winged horse. He was a pale white Pegasus, his sides heaving with a wheezy rattle, his nose twitching in misery.
"Oh, it's a tiny sky-horse!" Ken declared, oblivious. "Is he okay?"
The Pegasus managed a weak, rattling cough. A new sound made the party turn their attention back to the tunnel they had just come from.
On a nearby rock, half-hidden in the shadows, a small female cat sat licking her paw with an air of supreme indifference. Nobody had noticed her until now. She yawned, then muttered in a mournful tone that none of the party seemed to hear: "Once, I commanded armies. Now, I supervise idiots wandering into debt…"
Her tail flicked, and she returned to cleaning her paw as though her lament was meant only for the cavern walls.
---
A Most Vulgar Transaction
"You, traveler! You're past due on your entry fees!" a voice rasped.
Before them scuttled a huge spider. Its eight eyes glowed like embers, and its body was the color of old lava. Locals whispered their name in fearful reverence: the Debt Collector Spiders of Emberfang.
They were rumored to appear only for trespassers who dared to tread too close to the molten veins, demanding payment for the privilege of survival. Two smaller spiders flanked it, holding tiny, sharp obsidian shards like little tax collectors.
"Entry fee? For a cave?" Ken blinked. "But we just got here."
The big spider tapped a leg on the ground. "Exactly! It's a temporary acquisition fee. For the privilege of not being burned to a crisp. Payment is due now." Its voice, surprisingly deep, sounded like a cranky accountant.
Fluffy clutched his tunic. "Arachnid usurers! The injustice! My delicate senses are offended by this… this eight-legged money grab!"
Ichiban grunted, his hand clenching into a fist inside a gauntlet the size of a ham.
Laluna, fanning herself with a stack of scrolls, eyed the spiders. "Their shells are fireproof. Noted. Their speech is advanced for their species. Noted. And they want money? Are they part of a guild? Or is this just… organized crime?" She mumbled to her rune-nails. "This could be a case of unauthorized lien placements. Or maybe they're just subprime mortgage lenders in spider form."
Narutama's jaw was tight. His katana felt heavy, refusing to gleam in the heat. Debt for just being here? This is ridiculous! He was a warrior, not an accountant.
Ken, as clueless as ever, pulled a handful of coins from his pocket. "You mean like this?"
The big spider flinched. "We prefer a more… transcendental currency."
As Ken held out the coins, a weird shimmer hit the spiders. Their eyes widened in shock. They chittered and whirred, then all three dissolved into puffs of golden, money-scented smoke. A surprised spider squeak echoed in the cavern.
Deep in Ken's pocket, his ATM emitted a faint, barely audible 'ding,' as if acknowledging a transaction too absurd to record. A ghostly note scribbled itself in some unseen ledger:
Transaction: Spider, unpaid.
Resolution: Ken.
---
The Allergic Reaction to Wealth
Ken stared at his empty hand. "Huh. Guess they were allergic to my shoes?"
He looked at his boots. "Yeah, must be the anti-debt soles. Handy, right?"
Laluna's eyes were narrowed. Her rune-nails flickered with a glow. "Allergic to your shoes? Impossible. There was a strong energy signature. A transfer of... Mone. It's as if they were… paying you."
The dazed Pegasus, now looking at Ken and the lingering dust, managed a wheezy cough. The sound was like a rusty old bellows.
"This… this glitch-Mone… it irritates my… my vocal cords!" he rasped. "And their financial talk… so rude for creatures of fire."
The Pegasus wheezed again, his wings trembling as if they barely remembered flight. "I am… Pigaro," he rasped, coughing between syllables. "Last of the Celestial Steeds of Old. My herd cast me out when… the air itself betrayed me. This glitched Mone seeps into my lungs. I cannot breathe where wealth is… unearned."
He gave a pitiful sneeze, scattering a puff of golden motes left behind by the spiders. His wings sagged as though even the ash pit beneath him was too much to bear.
Laluna scribbled furiously, muttering. "An equine species with hereditary links to Celestial lineages. Sensitivity to glitched Mone… fascinating."
Fluffy's eyes went wide. "Wait—you sneeze whenever this bumbling hero's wallet hiccups?" He pointed at Ken like the world's most obvious culprit.
Pigaro nodded weakly, his mane drooping. "It is… my curse. I cannot abide imbalance. Whenever his glitched Mone flares, my body revolts."
Ken, completely missing the tragedy, brightened. "So you're like… a horse-shaped alarm system! That's awesome! Do you, uh, come with a warranty?"
Pigaro gave him the most withering look a wheezy Pegasus could muster. Then, with grim dignity, he said, "I remain loyal. Not because I am strong… but because someone must watch the storm of imbalance you carry. Even a sickly mount can bear witness."
Narutama clenched his fists, horrified. "A noble descendant of the heavens… reduced to sneezing at this fool's pocket lint. The insult to history!"
Pigaro sneezed again, hard enough to rattle the cavern walls. The golden dust swirled into spirals, briefly illuminating him in tragic majesty—before he collapsed back into his ash-bed, looking like he needed both a healer and a financial advisor.
---
The Sanata Sneeze Slash
Meanwhile, Narutama was still fuming. "They wanted our money, and they paid him instead? For nothing?!"
His katana twitched, wanting a real fight. His Sanata Clan honor felt deeply insulted. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down, but a familiar tickle started in his nose. His eyes went wide.
"A-ACHOO—BY THE HONOR OF SANATA!—THE HUMANITY OF THIS UNEARNED WEALTH!"
His sneeze rattled volcanic stones and sent a small ember skittering across the cavern floor, wiping out the remaining spiders. Narutama blinked at the empty air where the spiders had been, realizing, with bitter irony, that sometimes even disasters could be weaponized accidentally.
The sneeze was like a small earthquake, kicking up a cloud of volcanic dust.
Fluffy nearly fell over, and Laluna's scrolls scattered everywhere.
Ken just grinned. "Whoa! Nice one, Narutama! You really blew them away!"
Fluffy peeked at the lingering golden dust and whispered, horrified: "Do we… do we get taxed on the remnants?" Laluna rolled her eyes, muttering something about a Mone transfer declaration, while Ichiban simply grunted, glaring at the floating glitter like it owed him rent.
Narutama just stared at the empty space where the spiders had been, the smell of sulfur and phantom money hanging in the air. His katana stayed dark, a silent witness to a victory that felt more like a cosmic joke than a true win.
---
A faint glow lingered where the spiders had dissolved, molten veins of Quid pulsing briefly in rhythm with Ken's errant Mone.
The cavern seemed subtly… altered, as though even the stones had taken note of the glitch in the cosmic balance.
Somewhere to the south, a volcano grumbled faintly, echoing the cosmic bookkeeping that was already beginning to stir.