Saturday morning brought the promised shopping trip between Alexander and Emma, leaving Sophia alone with Ethan for the first time. The little boy was quieter than his sister, more thoughtful, and seemed to carry his grief closer to the surface.
"Can we clean Mommy's room today?" Ethan asked over breakfast, his question so casual it took Sophia a moment to process what he'd said.
"Mommy's room?"
"Daddy locked it after she went to heaven. But I think it's dusty now." Ethan stirred his cereal absently. "I want to see her dresses again."
Sophia's heart clenched. "Sweetheart, I don't think your daddy would want us going in there without asking…"
"But you could ask him! He listens to you." Ethan looked up with those gray eyes so like his father's. "Please? I just want to remember what her perfume smelled like."
How could she say no to that?
An hour later, Sophia stood outside the master bedroom door, Ethan's small hand clutched in hers. She'd texted Alexander, but hadn't received a response. The door was indeed locked, but Mrs. Henderson had quietly provided a key with understanding in her eyes.
"Are you sure about this, sweetheart?"
Ethan nodded solemnly. "I miss her room."
Sophia turned the key.
Elena's presence hit them immediately. The room was exactly as she'd left it two years ago, silk scarves draped over the vanity chair, a half-read book on the nightstand, family photos covering every surface. It was beautiful and heartbreaking and somehow still warm with love.
"There!" Ethan dropped Sophia's hand and ran to the walk-in closet. "Her dresses!"
Sophia followed, watching as Ethan buried his face in a soft blue sundress, breathing deeply.
"She smelled like flowers and cookies," he said, his voice muffled by fabric. "And she always lets me help pick her jewelry."
While Ethan explored the closet, Sophia found herself drawn to the photos scattered across Elena's vanity. Wedding pictures showing Alexander's radiant smile. Hospital photos of newborn twins. Beach vacations where all four family members glowed with happiness.
In every single photo, Alexander looked completely different from the man she knew. This Alexander laughed with his whole body, held his wife like she was precious, played with his children like they were the center of his universe.
"She was beautiful," Sophia whispered, picking up a photo of Elena holding baby Emma while Alexander kissed her forehead.
"The most beautiful mommy ever," Ethan agreed, emerging from the closet with a jewelry box. "Look, she kept our pictures in here too."
He opened the box, revealing not jewelry but dozens of photos, school pictures, crayon drawings signed "Love Emma" and "Love Ethan," ultrasound images, and at the very bottom, a photo that made Sophia's breath catch.
Alexander and Elena in what looked like the hospital, Elena holding a positive pregnancy test while Alexander's arms wrapped around her from behind. Both of them were crying happy tears, and Elena's free hand rested protectively over her still-flat stomach.
The baby Alexander had mentioned. The child they'd lost with Elena.
"What's this picture?" Ethan asked, reaching for it.
"Just Mommy and Daddy being happy," Sophia said quickly, gently closing the box. She couldn't let him see that, couldn't let him know about the sibling he'd lost before he even knew they'd existed.
"Sophia?" Emma's voice echoed from downstairs. "We're back!"
They made their way to the foyer, where Emma was spinning in circles in a new emerald green dress that flared perfectly around her legs.
"Look! It's even more twirly than my old one!" Emma beamed. "And Daddy bought me matching shoes!"
Alexander stood behind his daughter, shopping bags in hand, looking more relaxed than Sophia had ever seen him. Until his eyes met hers and his expression shifted to something more guarded.
"How was your morning?" he asked carefully.
"We cleaned Mommy's room," Ethan announced before Sophia could respond. "Her dresses still smell like her."
Alexander went very still. "You went into our bedroom?"
The temperature in the foyer seemed to drop ten degrees. Sophia felt Emma and Ethan sense the tension, both children moving closer to her instinctively.
"I asked Sophia to," Ethan said in a small voice. "I wanted to remember Mommy's perfume."
"That room is private," Alexander's voice was controlled, but Sophia could hear the anger underneath. "It's not meant for…"
"For what?" Sophia interrupted gently. "For your children to remember their mother?"
Alexander's jaw clenched. "That's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean?"
They stared at each other across the marble foyer, two adults having a conversation full of subtext while two children watched anxiously.
"Emma, Ethan," Alexander said finally. "Go upstairs and wash your hands for lunch."
"But Daddy…" Emma started.
"Now."
The twins scampered upstairs, leaving Sophia alone with Alexander's barely contained emotions.
"You had no right," he said quietly once the children were gone.
"No right to what? To let your son smell his mother's dresses? To help him remember what love feels like?"
"To go into Elena's room without permission."
"I texted you."
"I was with Emma. I couldn't…" Alexander ran his hands through his hair, destroying its perfect style. "That room is... it's all I have left of her."
Sophia's anger dissolved. "Alexander, that room isn't just yours. It was their mother's too."
"You don't understand."
"Then help me understand."
For a long moment, Alexander just stared at her. Then, slowly, he walked toward the stairs.
"Come with me."
They climbed to the second floor in silence, Alexander leading her back to the master bedroom. The door stood open now, afternoon sunlight streaming through the windows, illuminating Elena's sanctuary.
Alexander stopped in the doorway, his hands clenched at his sides.
"I haven't been in here since the funeral," he said quietly. "I couldn't... every morning I woke up expecting to see her in our bed. Every night I'd reach for her and find nothing. So I moved to the guest room and locked this door and pretended it didn't exist."
"Alexander..."
"She was going to redecorate," he continued, his voice hollow. "She said the blue walls were too dark for the new baby. She wanted yellow. Gender neutral and cheerful." His laugh was bitter. "We were going to tell Emma and Ethan at Christmas. She had this whole plan with wrapped pregnancy tests under the tree."
Sophia's heart broke for him. "You've been carrying all of this alone."
"I don't know how to let it go. This room, her things, the plans we made... if I change anything, if I move forward, what does that say about how much I loved her?"
"It says that you're living," Sophia said gently. "It says that you're honoring her by taking care of the children she loved more than her own life."
Alexander's shoulders sagged. "The twins used to come in here every morning. They'd climb into bed between us, and Elena would make up stories while I made silly faces behind her back to make them giggle. After she died, they kept coming. They'd crawl into my bed in the guest room and ask when we were going back to Mommy's room."
"What did you tell them?"
"That Mommy's room was for sleeping, and we couldn't sleep there anymore because it made Daddy too sad." Alexander's voice cracked. "Ethan asked me if Mommy would be sad that her room was empty. I didn't know what to say."
"What would Elena want?" Sophia asked. "If she could see you now, what would she want for you and the children?"
Alexander was quiet for so long that Sophia wondered if he'd heard her. Then, slowly, he walked to Elena's vanity and picked up the same wedding photo Sophia had seen earlier.
"She'd want me to stop hiding," he said finally. "She'd want the children to remember her with joy instead of grief. She'd probably be furious that I locked away all the things that made them feel close to her."
"So what do we do?"
Alexander looked at her with something like hope in his eyes. "Help me figure out how to let them back in without falling apart myself."
Before Sophia could respond, small footsteps echoed in the hallway.
"Daddy?" Emma appeared in the doorway, her new dress wrinkled from washing her hands. "Are you sad about Mommy's room?"
"A little," Alexander admitted, setting down the photo and opening his arms. Emma ran to him immediately, Ethan close behind.
"We don't have to be in here if it makes you sad," Ethan said solemnly.
"No, buddy. I think... I think Mommy would want us to visit her room sometimes. To remember the good things."
"Like how she sang lullabies?" Emma asked hopefully.
"And how she make funny faces when she puts on lipstick?" Ethan added.
"Exactly like that." Alexander's smile was watery but real. "Would you like to help me go through some of her things? Maybe pick out some photos to put in your rooms?"
Both children nodded eagerly, and soon they were all sitting on Elena's bed, looking through photo albums and sharing memories. Sophia perched on the edge, watching Alexander come alive as he told stories about their mother.
"This was our first date," he said, showing them a picture of him and Elena at a carnival. "She made me ride the Ferris wheel even though I was terrified of heights."
"Were you scared, Daddy?" Emma giggled.
"Terrified. But your mother was worth being brave for."
As the afternoon wore on, Sophia realized she was witnessing something beautiful,a family learning to celebrate love instead of just mourning loss.
But she also couldn't shake the feeling that she was intruding on something private, something that belonged to the four people in those photos.
She was falling for a man who had loved completely, and she wasn't sure there was room in his heart for anyone else.