Beep beep beep—
I groaned and slapped at the alarm.
"...Ghhh."
My legs didn't want to move.
My arms didn't want to move.
Even the ceiling was looking at me funny.
"Worth it," I muttered.
It wasn't worth it.
I sat up slowly. Pulled the blanket off.
My calves were on fire.
"How fragile."
I rolled my shoulders.
Crrrk.
"...Ghh."
I made it to the bathroom.
Mirror.
A 15-year-old boy stared back at me. Hair messy. Eyes tired.
I dropped the shirt.
Splashed water on my face.
"Okay."
"Okay…"
***
Shower. Shoes. Door.
I stepped out.
Glanced left.
I walked over.
My heart was beating a little faster.
Knocked.
"COMIIIING~!"
The door flew open.
"OHHH HO HO HO!! HIKARU-KUN!!"
"Sensei, good morn—"
"YUZU!! YUZU LOOK!! HE CAME!!"
"Hikaru-saaaan! Good morning!"
Yuzu appeared at the entryway.
Holding a folded picnic blanket against her chest.
She bowed slightly.
"I'm Yuzu! Onii-chan said you'd come!"
"Good morning, Yuzu-san. I'm—"
"Hikaru-san! I know!"
…
What a little angel.
She squinted at me.
"Did you eat breakfast?"
"...Yes—"
"Did you eat 'enough'?"
"Yes?"
"Mmm." She nodded once. Satisfied.
She's eleven.
From upstairs—
"OI— who's at the door—"
"YOUR FRIEND!!" Isshin yelled back. "YOUR FRIEND CAME TO PICK YOU UP!!"
"I'M NOT READY YET—"
"THEN HURRY UP!!"
Footsteps from inside.
Karin walked past behind Yuzu. Cleats in hand. Bag over her shoulder.
She glanced at me.
"...Hi."
"...Hi."
"You're the neighbor."
"Nice to meet you Karin-san."
"Mm."
She kept walking. Out the door. Past me.
"I'll be at the field." she called back.
"WAIT FOR US!!"
"No."
"KARIIIN—"
Already gone.
Yuzu sighed.
Like a tired mother.
"She always does that."
I smiled.
"Here." She shoved the blanket into my arms. "Can you carry this?"
"Of course~"
"Thank you!"
She turned. Picked up two snack bags from the entryway floor.
Isshin grabbed the third.
Ichigo came down the stairs finally. Hair still slightly damp.
Saw me holding the picnic blanket.
"...What."
"Yuzu-san asked."
"Hm."
"Onii-chan! Take a bag!"
"I am, I am—"
***
The four of us walked.
Yuzu in front, leading.
Isshin behind her, humming.
Ichigo and me behind him.
I was carrying the blanket.
The morning was warm. Sun coming up properly now. Sakura petals on the path.
A few neighbors waved at Isshin.
He waved back loud enough to wake the dead.
"Sensei knows everyone."
"He's the doctor."
"Right. Right."
"...And he's loud."
"Haha."
***
The field came into view.
Karin was already with her team. Stretching.
"Here!" She turned to me.
"Can you spread it?"
"Yeah!"
I unfolded the blanket.
Tried to lay it flat.
A corner flipped up in the wind.
Yuzu came over and helped. Pulled it tight at the edges.
"There!"
She sat down immediately. Patted the spot beside her.
"Hikaru-san! Sit!"
I sat.
Yuzu frowned.
"You're not on it."
"It's fine—"
"You're a guest!"
She patted closer to the middle.
"Here."
"...Thank you."
I moved closer.
Isshin dropped down on the other side of Yuzu with a thud.
"AHHH the GROUND!! The EARTH!! The smell of GRASS!!"
"Dad shut up—"
Ichigo sat next to me. Cross-legged.
Sighed.
A bag of rice crackers in his lap.
He opened it.
Held it out without looking at me.
I took one.
A breeze moved through.
The team on the field was warming up.
Yuzu was already digging through the snack bags.
***
The match started.
Karin was good.
She moved like the field belonged to her.
The other team was bigger. Older.
Didn't matter.
Yuzu was clapping wrong.
Cheering when the 'other' team got close to the goal.
"Yuzu, that's the wrong team."
"Ehhh?? Really??"
Isshin laughed loud enough that two parents three rows over turned.
A small foul on the field. Karin didn't even react. Just got up and kept playing.
"Tough kid,"
"Mm."
***
Second half.
Karin scored.
Yuzu screamed.
Isshin cried.
"MY DAUGHTER!! MY GENIUS DAUGHTER!!"
"Dad, sit down—"
I was laughing.
Couldn't stop.
My cheeks hurt.
***
The game ended 2-1.
Karin's team won.
Yuzu ran out to her with a towel.
Karin let her.
"Ice cream!" Isshin announced. "MY TREAT!! ALL OF US!!"
Ichigo looked at me.
"You coming?"
"...Yeah."
"Of course he's coming!!" Isshin slung an arm around my shoulders. "HIKARU-KUN IS PRACTICALLY FAMILY NOW!!"
"...Sensei, my arm—"
"OH RIGHT—"
He let go again.
…Family.
***
Ice cream.
I got vanilla.
Karin got chocolate. Yuzu got strawberry. Ichigo got vanilla too — pretended he didn't notice we matched.
Isshin got three flavors and dropped one immediately.
"NOOOO—"
"Dad."
"MY CHOCOLATE—"
"Dad, the people are looking."
"LET THEM LOOK!! A FATHER MOURNS!!"
My shoulders were shaking.
Karin smirked slightly.
Looked away.
***
We started walking back.
Yuzu was holding Karin's hand. Telling her about every play.
Karin was nodding without listening.
Isshin was a few steps ahead, humming.
Ichigo and I fell behind naturally.
A breeze moved through.
Sakura petals drifted across the path.
"...Hikaru."
I looked up.
"Yeah?"
A pause.
His mouth opened.
Closed again.
"...Nothing."
He looked away. Down at the ground. Somewhere ahead.
Anywhere but at me.
"Forget it."
…?
"Ichigo-san???"
"Idiot."
"Whyyy—"
"Shut up."
What was he going to say????
Aaaah!!
How will I sleep today?!
***
We reached the corner where their path split from mine.
"Errand?" Ichigo asked.
"Yeah."
"...Okay."
He didn't ask what.
Yuzu waved. "Bye Hikaru-saaaan!"
"Bye, Yuzu-san!"
Karin nodded once.
Isshin gave me a thumbs up.
Then they were gone.
I stood at the corner for a second.
Watching them turn down the street.
I turned the other way.
***
I walked.
Past the riverbank.
Past the construction site fence — already repaired. New metal. Cleaner than the rest.
I kept walking.
The park came into view.
I slowed.
The fountain was on. Kids were playing on the swings.
A normal afternoon.
But—
There was a small bench near the entrance.
Flowers on it.
A small picture frame.
A girl. Smiling.
I stood at the entrance.
Didn't go in.
A breeze moved the petals on the bench.
I bowed slightly.
Then turned and kept walking.
***
The shopping district.
Quieter on Saturdays.
I walked past a candy shop. A bookstore. A—
A small shop. Wooden sign.
Urahara Shop
The door was open.
A black cat on the step.
"…"
I kept walking.
Didn't even give a second glance.
Don't react. Don't slow dow—
"…"
I slowed.
Hikaru.
Walk.
WALK.
I stopped.
Ghh.
My hand was shaking.
I turned.
Faced the door.
Took one step.
Two.
The cat watched me.
The bell rang. Tin tin.
***
Inside.
Old wood smell. Tea somewhere in the back. A counter. Shelves of weird candy.
I stood just inside the door.
Why is it so dark in here.
Why does the floor make that sound.
Why did I—
"Coming, coming~"
A man's voice. Bright. Lazy.
He came out from the back.
Striped hat. Wooden sandals. Fan in one hand.
He looked at me.
Smiled.
"Welcome~. First time?"
"Yes."
Too fast.
"I mean. Yes. First time. First time. Haha."
He smiled wider.
"Mm~. Welcome, then."
"Looking for anything in particular?"
"Candy.
...Just. Some candy."
He gestured at the shelf.
"Please, please. Look around~."
I turned to the shelf.
Couldn't focus.
Just colors. Wrappers.
I reached.
The bag I grabbed crinkled too loud.
I knocked another bag off the shelf.
"Oh— sorry—"
I bent down.
KNK.
Hit my forehead on the corner of the shelf on the way down.
"Are you okay~?"
"Haha, my bad."
I picked the bag up.
Put it back.
Wrong shelf.
He didn't correct me.
I straightened up.
The candy thing was still in my hand.
I walked to the counter.
Put it down.
He picked it up. Looked at it.
"Mm. Lemon."
"...Yeah."
"Good choice."
"Thank you."
Why did I—
"One hundred fifty yen."
I dug in my pocket.
A coin slipped out.
Tnk.
Hit the floor.
Rolled.
"…"
The cat had come inside at some point.
Was watching the coin roll.
Tail flicking.
I bent down.
Picked up the coin.
Stood up fast.
When my hand opened on the counter there were three coins in it.
They were wet.
Why are they wet.
…Oh.
He picked them up between his thumb and finger.
Like nothing.
"Thank you, customer~."
"Thank you."
He looked at me.
A second too long.
His eyes were not lazy.
The cat looked at me.
Its eyes were not lazy either.
I looked at the candy.
"...Take care now."
I picked it up.
Bowed.
Then bowed again. Lower this time.
Walked to the door.
Tripped slightly on the threshold.
Caught myself.
The bell rang. Tin tin.
***
Outside.
Air.
I walked.
Fast.
Too fast.
Slow down.
Slow down Hikaru.
Normal speed.
***
A block away.
I stopped.
Pressed my back against a wall.
My heart was loud.
My hand was still shaking.
The candy was in it.
Lemon.
I stared at it.
Started laughing.
Quietly.
Couldn't stop.
I unwrapped one.
Put it in my mouth.
Sour. Sweet. Cheap.
That was the dumbest thing I've ever done.
Walking away was the right choice.
If they were following me closely before. They will follow my every move now.
Hahaha…
I lived the right choice before already.
I don't wanna ruin my second chance too.
***
Home.
"I'm home."
Silence.
A note on the kitchen table:
Hikaru — back late tonight. Dinner in the fridge. — Mom
I stared at it.
Set my bag down.
Took out the dinner.
Ate standing up.
In the kitchen.
Alone.
I unwrapped another candy after.
Put it in my mouth.
Haha…
Iditot.