"Fine. I'm antisocial. But I'm also usually right," Constantine shrugged. He took a deep drag, letting the ash fall where it may.
He had sensed something wrong—fundamental flaws in the fabric of the world. He had felt it simmering beneath the surface ever since he began studying the arts of the Ancient One's lineage. The world seemed to be rejecting him. It was a sensation he didn't see in Luke or the others.
He didn't dare test Bul-Kathos yet—at least, he hadn't found a safe way to do so. It felt as though he were a step-child of reality, receiving none of its grace or attention. He needed answers from Death.
"I try to love life, I really do," Constantine sighed. "But what's left in this world to love? Weed or gay bars?"
Life had never been simple for John Constantine. Fortunately, he didn't have to worry about it for much longer.
"HULK CRUSH YOU!"
A thunderous roar shook the room as a massive green blur burst through the other side of the wooden doors, pinned beneath a monstrous Mallet Lord. The two titans slammed into the ground, sending up a plume of dust that made the already stagnant air impossible to breathe.
"Cough, cough! I say, Big Guy... I think you're crushing the floorboards more than the monster," Constantine wheezed. His cigarette nearly went out in the debris. Luckily, the stone here shattered completely upon impact; at least there were no flying shards to mar his face.
The dust cleared, revealing the Hulk staring at him with a gaze of pure, unadulterated rage.
"Uh... forget I said anything. Carry on!" Constantine stammered, his body shuddering. He'd heard of the Hulk, and the reputation was far from pleasant.
Hulk grunted, hoisted a thick stone pillar from the wreckage, and stomped back outside. Constantine wanted to tell him to close the door, but looking at the pulped remains of the Mallet Lord, he decided to keep his mouth shut. There was a time for quips, and this wasn't it. Besides, he doubted the Hulk had the intellectual capacity to appreciate his wit.
"Hulk, are you having fun?"
Betty Ross's voice drifted in from the other side of the threshold. Constantine pulled his coat tight, feeling a sudden pang of loneliness.
"Even the Hulk has someone to love him," he muttered, inhaling deeply until the cherry of his cigarette glowed a fierce red. "Why is it everyone I meet only loves my body or my bank account?"
Constantine wasn't unloved. It was just that loving him came with a terrible price. Those who loved him tended to wither away. Plucking a single hair doesn't make one bald, but do it long enough, and eventually, there's nothing left.
"HULK! IS! HAPPY!"
The behemoth roared back at Betty. In his eyes, Betty looked wonderful. Seeing someone who also bore the visage of a "monster" yet treated him with such gentleness warmed Hulk's heart, which was currently no more mature than that of a toddler.
"Then let's go. Let's find another playmate," Betty said, her face twisting into a difficult smile. With her bird-like beak, smiling was a physical struggle.
"NEXT ONE!" Hulk bellowed.
In the distance, a Mallet Lord—several sizes larger than the last—lumbered toward them, drawn by the noise.
Standing not far behind them, the Spirit of Cassius rubbed his temples in frustration. This green giant was an incredible prospect, but it was far too early for him to run into Crushbane.
The only Ancestors on the Holy Mountain capable of trading blows with a monster like Crushbane were currently occupied in their own battles. The best match for that thing would have been Korlic, but Korlic was tied down. For the life of him, Cassius couldn't think of anyone available to handle this.
"HULK! SMASH!"
Smack!
Cassius slapped his own forehead as he blurred forward, catching the Hulk—who now wore an expression of stunned, glassy-eyed disbelief—mid-air.
The moment Hulk hit Crushbane, Cassius knew it was a disaster. He had spent so much effort coaxing the big guy out of his slump, only for him to run straight into a wall.
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