Two days ago, Sharath had defeated the giant slime boss in a glorious takedown, and rather than lounging about glory-hogging like a typical hero, he found himself wading up to his knees in what was only politely referred to as acutely unromantic monster research.
His hands smelled faintly of acid, his workshop table looked like the aftermath of a toddler's science fair experiment gone wrong, and the air had that "metal meets swamp" aroma.
Thermo hovered in the corner, watching the process with a glowing eye that screamed, "You're insane, but I'm staying to watch the explosion."
Thermo: "Two days of slime goo play. This is either the creation of a genius toy or the beginning of a very sticky obituary."
🐧Neuro Boop, on the other hand, was flourishing.
🐧Neuro Boop: "Oh, yes, my sweet Sharath. Use the monster's energy, stabilize its chemical compounds, and distill it into sellable products. You're practically on the verge of opening 'Sharath's Slime Emporium'. I can already smell money. Or. that may still be the slime."
Sharath did nothing but ignore both of them. Mostly.His attention was fixed on the beaker in front of him, stirring a suspiciously green fluid that hissed every few seconds. He'd tried six and failed to date:
Version 1: Totally waterproof, but had an overpowering stench of rotting kelp.
Version 2: Lost the smell, but dissolved upon contact with soap.
Version 3: Waterproof, odorless, but dissolved in sunlight.
Version 4: Explosion. (Thermo would not talk to him for 3 hours afterwards.)
Version 5: Repelled water… but also repelled itself. The cloth continued to curl into a ball.
Version 6: Appeared perfect, until it soaked up water so intensely that it ballooned ten times its size.
At last, Version 7 appeared stable. Water rolled off the fabric as if the cloth had been personally insulted. It didn't stink, didn't dissolve, and most importantly — didn't burst.
The Dramatic Dinner Reveal
That evening, Sharath came to the dining hall of the Darsha estate hours early, his beloved prototype tucked tightly under one arm. The room was already filled with the soft light of chandeliers, elongated shadows swirling across the highly polished wooden floor.
He sat at the head of the table, drumming his fingers on the highly polished surface like a man about to reveal a grand secret.
The others came individually:
Lord Darsha, tall and dignified, always with a skeptical air about him.
Lord Bassana, merchant lord who brightened at the very mention of profit.
Lady Ishvari, statuesque beauty with a glare that could muzzle an army.
The Princess, inquisitive and. a little suspicious that Sharath was going to get into some kind of trouble again.
With the first course laid out, Sharath rose, clearing his throat with utmost dramatic effect."Ladies and gentlemen… I present to you: Slime Sludge Cloth™."
He slapped the material down on the table like a conjurer making an appearance.
Lord Bassana blinked. "…It's cloth."
Sharath nodded like a man revealing the solution to all the kingdom's woes. "Not cloth. This, noble lords and ladies, is constructed from the neutralized body of the giant slime boss. Totally water-resistant. Rainproof. Essentially unbreakable. You could wear this as an umbrella or a bath cape and remain dry."
The Princess scowled. "It doesn't. smell?
Not any more," replied Sharath, with pride. "Version one smelled like pond muck, but this is version seven. It doesn't smell at all. Unless you leave it beside Darsha's armor after training."
Lord Darsha squinted. "And you think you expect us to wear this and believe it is safe?"
Thermo drifted closer to the table. "Don't worry, Lord Darsha. Only a handful of the test samples melted through the floor."
Sharath coughed. "Ignore him.
The Merchant's Eyes Light Up
It was Bassana who finally broke the silence, leaning forward like a hawk about to swoop at prey."A monopoly product. Umbrellas. Rain cloaks. Waterproof tents. Even ships' sails. You retain twenty percent profit for the recipe and provide the raw slime material. I manage the production and distribution throughout the continent."
Sharath smiled. "Done."
🐧Neuro Boop: "Ahah. Step one: kill monster. Step two: sell monster body as fashion. Step three: passive earnings while Bassana does all the hard work. You're basically royalty now."
The Princess leaned her head to the side. "Where are you going to find the slime sludge?"
Sharath grinned. "From my dungeon excursions. There's an entire first floor full of them. It's like my own goo farm."
Lord Darsha groaned into his mug.
The Dungeon Story… and The Scolding
Once the transaction was complete, Sharath opted to tell his dungeon raid tale. He stood as a bard in front of a tavern audience, complete with hand movements and overplayed reactions.
Scene One: The slimes were "cute enough to adopt" before spitting acid.
Scene Two: His magic M416 "made him look like a knight from the future come to desecrate monster family picnics."
Scene Three: The boss slime was "the size of Lord Darsha's ego."
Lord Darsha froze mid-sip. "…What?"
Lady Ishvari set her fork down. "You personally went into the boss room?"
Sharath hesitated. "…Yes?"
"You were supposed to stay at the rear and let the army handle it!" Lord Darsha's voice boomed, echoing off the dining hall walls.
Sharath shrugged. "It was the first floor. All slimes. No danger. I've had bigger threats from ducks."
The Princess choked on her drink laughing.
Lady Ishvari massaged her temples. "You need to take more safety measures. If anything happens to you—"
"—then you'll have to find someone else to invent waterproof capes," Sharath interrupted with a grin.
Lord Darsha didn't laugh.
Quiet Night… Sort Of
Dinner was concluded with everyone fleeing to their quarters. Lord Bassana was already writing business strategies in his study. Lady Ishvari was grumbling about "unbridled heirs." Lord Darsha retired to buff his armor in silence.
Sharath sat in bed gazing at the ceiling. His mind wasn't upon safety protocols. It was upon guns. Better guns.Floor two of the dungeon awaited, and if 🐧Neuro Boop's sarcastic voice in his head had anything to say about it, it was going to require "more dakka."
🐧Neuro Boop: "Yes, safety first. Which in your case means bringing enough firepower to unwittingly declare war on a small country."
Thermo's glow faded from the workbench. "Don't blow yourself up."
Sharath smiled. "No promises."