The Darsha courtyard had been graced by many visitors in its years — merchants, scholars, nobles, soldiers — but never by Uncle Alderic.
Now, Uncle Alderic was a man who could enter a room and cause the candles to burn a bit less brightly. A traditionalist through and through, the sort of fellow who believed change was okay "as long as it looked just like the past, smelled like the past, and was dressed in the past's attire."
[🐧VISITOR PROFILE: Resisting technological advancement: 95%. Smell sensitivity: unknown. Hypocrisy levels: to be determined.]
He'd heard rumors of a "blasphemously modern" invention — a sanitary wonder system that "desecrated centuries of custom." He'd come to see.
"Young Sharath," Alderic started with the same intonation priests did when preparing to sentence a heretic,
"I hear you've constructed something… unconventional."
[🐧INQUISITOR MODE: The 'unconventional' is carrying a lot of weight here.]
Sharath, not remotely fazed, said, "Yes! Want to take a look?"
"It would be irresponsible of me not to," Alderic replied, adjusting his coat with a flourish that made it look like he was approaching a duel, not a tour of the bathrooms.
The Demonstration That Broke HimThe testing was just as Sharath had hoped: perfect. The waste vanished, water sparkled, air perfumed itself like fresh flowers, and the entire contraption hummed along like a satisfied cat.
[🐧PERFORMANCE ANALYSIS: Medieval waste disposal again loses to the five-year-old with an excess of free time.]
Alderic's face changed from suspicion to incredulity… to grudging respect.
"Well," Alderic finally managed, sniffing once as if verifying the lack of any "yucky" smell, "this… is very effective."
"Thank you!" Sharath smiled. "Do you want one?"
Alderic cleared his throat, speaking softly so no one else would hear. "Yes. But I'd rather have it put in discreetly. And Garander will want one as well. You'll be compensated for it."
[🐧TRANSLATION: 'Breaks tradition' unless I'm the one breaking it.]
Sharath agreed. "Okay!"
Lord Varundar, who happened to be standing close by, saw opportunity twinkling like gold coins. "Alderic, why not go all the way? What if we make this an official business? For nobles, naturally."
Alderic hesitated — by nature, he wanted to turn his nose up at anything that reeked of progress. But the scent of that fresh air and self-grooming surfaces lingered in his mind. "Fine. I will assist. But this will have to be accomplished with… dignity."
[🐧PARTNERSHIP FORMED: The dignity stipulation will only endure until the first noble commission a swan-shaped toilet of gold.]
On the Road to Alderic's EstateOne week after, Sharath, Lord Varundar, Master Jorik, Magister Aldren, and a small team of experienced workers departed to Alderic's compound.
[🐧PROJECT STATUS: Phase 1 — Impress grumpy uncle. Phase 2 — Monetize cleanliness.]
It took three days, each day during which Alderic attempted twice to "remind" Sharath of "proper traditions," each time being rebuffed with gentle five-year-old reasoning that shot down his arguments like a cat sending items falling off a shelf.
By the time they got there, Alderic had given up arguing altogether.
The BuildThe estate installation lasted a whole month — not because the system was extremely complicated, but because Alderic kept asking for "small, tasteful modifications" that contributed precisely zero functionality but pleased his aristocratic sense of taste.
[🐧CHANGE REQUESTS: 'Can you make the control panel blend with the drapes?' Absolutely crucial to sanitation performance, obviously.]
At last, the system was finished.
Alderic examined it, started up the flow, took a deep breath, and — the first time in Sharath's recall — grinned. "Splendid. Worth every gold. Here."
And Sharath had his first gold payment.
[🐧ECONOMIC MILESTONE: First transaction noted. Small child officially wealthier than half of the kingdom's apprentices.]
The Gold Distribution FiascoAt Darsha estate, Sharath returned the workers who had accompanied him. "This is for you all!" he explained, presenting each one of them with a share of the gold.
The servants looked at each other nervously. Elena, head housemaid, shook her head. "Young master, we cannot accept this. We are servants of House Darsha — we already receive a monthly salary."
[🐧LABOR CONTRACT INTERPRETATION: Oh, the traditional 'I won't accept additional cash because tradition.']
Sharath crossed his arms. "This was my project. Work for me is different. Don't take it, and I won't speak to you anymore!"
[🐧NEGOTIATION STRATEGY: Emotional hostage-taking. Surprisingly effective in noble households.]
Lord Varundar, observing with wry amusement, stepped in. "Servants, accept the gold. That's an order."
With reluctance, they accepted, and Sharath grinned.
[🐧TEAM MORALE BOOST: 85% satisfaction increase detected. Also, bribery works.]
The Ripple Effect of a FlushA week later, more nobles arrived — friends of Alderic, drawn by his whispered recommendation. They toured the system, watched the demonstration, and left with childlike glee in their eyes.
"I'll take one.""Make that two.""My hunting lodge needs this immediately."
[🐧MARKET EXPANSION: Demand curve steepening. Warning: you're about to become the bathroom baron of the kingdom.]
Lord Varundar wasted no time. "We'll need to expand operations. Sharath, let's organize five teams. We'll train them to build the system for these nobles."
"Okay!" Sharath said, already mentally designing faster installation methods.
[🐧OPERATIONAL SCALING: Workforce multiplication initiated. Also, good luck keeping quality control at 5x speed.]
The Training MonthFor the following month, Master Jorik and Magister Aldren supervised five teams, practicing every aspect — from rune placement to waste-channel spells.
[🐧TRAINING STATUS: Completion rate — 100%. Accidental explosions — only two. Acceptable losses.]
The Expansion MonthAfter training, each team went to a designated estate. A month later, they returned with gold payments — and additional orders.
Lord Varundar looked over the figures and smiled. "This is larger than I expected. We're up to fifty teams."
[🐧MEGA-SCALING: From small family venture to regional sanitation empire in less than a year. Pffft, tradition.]
Building started on training centers, materials were stored, and Sharath was answering queries from artisans, nobles, and one very inquisitive bard who wished to compose a ballad concerning "The Boy Who Put an End to the Stench."
[🐧PR IMPACT: 72% chance of awful rhyming couplets.]
At the end of the season, House Darsha was no longer merely an honored noble house — it was the kingdom's flush dynasty.
[🐧LEGACY UPDATE: Well done. Your coat of arms may as well be a golden loo now.]