"Ho ho ho. You seem to have calmed down."
I'd made quite a scene crying like that and kept the old man waiting for a long time. But far from being annoyed, he seemed to be in a good mood.
I put a cigarette between my lips, hoping to look away from my swollen eyes, even a little. It was too late to try to cover it up, but embarrassing things are still embarrassing.
"Yes, honestly, I think this is the calmest I've been since arriving here."
"Indeed, they're swollen, but you have much better eyes than before."
I wished he hadn't mentioned the swelling, but this delinquent old man had no reservations about teasing me.
Hey! Stop grinning at me like that! Just light my cigarette already! You lit it right away before!
"...Could you light my cigarette?"
"Ho ho ho! Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! No need to be embarrassed!"
The old man laughed heartily while lighting my cigarette... I should pull his beard.
"Ho ho ho! Don't glare at me like that. Just smoke and calm down..."
"Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!"
Apparently I'd hit his funny bone. I thought about polishing a certain something while taking a drag...
My face was hot, so the cigarette tasted different than usual.
"Could you please stop laughing?"
"Ho ho ho! ...Sorry, it was just quite amusing."
The old man stroked his beard cheerfully as he responded.
"...Was my crying really that funny?"
"Ho ho ho, don't sulk. Rather, it was very rare for someone who was suppressed to maintain their composure and hold out that long... I thought I'd gotten a good one and couldn't hold back my laughter. The others seem to be having quite a struggle."
I was apparently being praised, but I was still too embarrassed to accept it gracefully. But the old man had said something interesting... others?
"You mentioned others. Are there other people who died?"
"Indeed there are. Some have decided to take the trial, others have returned. You're the only one left to give an answer... There are those waiting for you to decide, but don't worry. Take your time to think."
The others had already decided... It sounds like I'm keeping them waiting, but the old man said to take my time. I'll think it through properly. Sorry, people I don't know... complain to this old man.
But some people returned? Honestly, I don't understand why. My own answer has been pretty much decided since I heard about the trial in this white place...
I wonder why they returned.
"You mentioned people who returned. Could you tell me their reasons?"
"Hmm, I haven't met those who returned myself, so this would be secondhand from their handlers. Is that alright?"
"Please go ahead."
The old man exhaled a puff from his pipe before speaking.
"Most who returned were not suppressed in their original world, or were freed from suppression. Such people gained some status or fame in their original world and were valued by it. Therefore, unlike you, even if they returned to their original world, they'd receive preferential treatment during reincarnation."
"What kind of preferential treatment?"
"Inheritance of memories, experiences, personality, and exemption from self-purification."
I see, that makes sense why they'd return. They were basically winners in their previous life and had a good chance of being winners in the next one too. Envious.
"Others returned because they said they couldn't live in a world without the conveniences of their original world's civilization, or in a world that might not have them."
"Conveniences of civilization?"
"I believe they mentioned computers and cell phones?"
Ah... I completely understand that. I'd never thought about life without those things. But compared to being suppressed again... apparently those who returned didn't think that way.
"Thank you. I understand now."
"Are those all your questions?"
I didn't think there was anything else...
"Sorry, but could I think a little more?"
"Of course."
The old man started puffing on his pipe again. I used my short cigarette to light a new one.
Let me organize my thoughts. I might have forgotten something after embarrassing myself like that.
First, let me remember what I asked the old man.
First was... whether I could come back to life, right? The answer was no. At least, I can't return to my state before death. Well, I don't want to be suppressed again anyway, so I won't return.
Hmm? What about self-purification and suppression in the different world where I'd reincarnate after taking the trial? I should ask the old man about that later.
Second and third were about the trial and the destination world... but he wouldn't tell me. So there's an element of gambling in reincarnation... but that also depends on self-purification in the destination.
Fourth was about the reason for my death, and fifth was about the self-purification the old man mentioned when explaining my death. That's... well, that's why I had my crying fit. I don't want to think too deeply about it again...
Let's see, what was it? Something about one world... that's right! Parallel worlds! I couldn't quite grasp the difference between different worlds and parallel worlds, and I was going to ask about it! I completely forgot after crying...
So what I need to ask the old man is about self-purification and suppression in the destination, and the difference between different worlds and parallel worlds.
My thoughts are organized. I'll smoke this one slowly and then ask again.
In the quiet white space, I could hear the crackling of my cigarette as I inhaled. I followed the purple smoke with my eyes as it dispersed, taking my time.
"Have you finished thinking?"
"Yes, and I have some more questions. Is that alright?"
"Hmm, you're cautious. Or perhaps curious... well, what do you want to know?"
"First, could you tell me the difference between different worlds and parallel worlds?"
"Parallel worlds are different pages in the same book, as I explained. Different worlds are different books entirely."
"Also, different books... different worlds have different rules. For example, they might allow mystery and fantasy."
"What are mystery and fantasy?"
"Mystery refers to special powers. Things like magic and psychic abilities. Fantasy refers to special beings. Dragons, spirits, and such."
"I see... And about the trial destination - I know you can't tell me about it, but could you at least tell me whether I'd experience self-purification and suppression there?"
"Hmm, I suppose that much would be fine. The answer is neither. Rest easy."
The old man's answer made me clench my fist. Now my decision was completely made.
"Thank you for telling me."
"Are those all your questions?"
"Ah, just one more, if that's alright?"
"What is it?"
This was really overdue, but after all the help he'd given me, I had to ask.
"Could you tell me who you are?"
"Ho ho ho! Rather late to ask, isn't it?"
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine. I am one who exists outside the world. By your people's definition, I would be called a god."
"Your name is..."
"It would be better not to tell you that. If I told you my name and you took the trial, you would become my apostle and be bound to me as a being... That's not what you'd want, is it?"
This old man really was considerate... No amount of gratitude would be enough.
"I appreciate your consideration."
"Ho ho ho! No need to be so formal. Well then, it's about time you gave me your answer about the trial."
My answer was already decided. I stubbed out my cigarette, straightened my posture, and answered clearly.
"Please let me take the trial."
I bowed my head in request, and the laughter of the old man... the god echoed in my ears. It was a happy, joyful laugh.
In my rough mental outline:
God: "Wanna reincarnate?"MC: "Please!"
That was it, but somehow it took two chapters... How did this happen?