Jay's parents arriving was already enough to make her want to hide under the couch. Add Keifer, their fake marriage, and her father's eagle eyes? A full-blown anxiety buffet.
"Smile like I'm the love of your life," she hissed as the doorbell rang.
Keifer smirked. "Easy. I'm adorable.
Dinner was awkward before the salad even hit the table.
Jay's mom had barely set her purse down before sighing dramatically. "We weren't sure you'd ever get married, sweetheart."
Jay smiled thinly. "Surprise."
Keifer added with a grin, "I'm full of surprises. Just ask your daughter."
Her dad grunted, already suspicious. He'd been watching Keifer like a hawk all evening, like he was one sentence away from pulling Jay into a side room for a 'talk.'
Her mom, by contrast, had been all smiles since walking in. "I always knew something was up between you two back in college. I mean, best friends don't usually look at each other like that."
Jay gave a half-laugh. "We didn't look at each other like anything."
Keifer smirked. "Speak for yourself."
Her dad's arms folded a little tighter.
"I always imagined Jay with someone more... mature," he muttered, eyeing Keifer's half-rolled sleeves and cocky smirk.
Jay stabbed her salad with a little more force than necessary. "We've known each other since our college days, Dad," she said evenly. "Keifer and I are the same age."
"Really?" her mother asked, more out of curiosity than criticism, sipping her wine contentedly.
Keifer said cheerfully, "Yep. But emotionally? At least six years ahead of her."
That earned him a swift kick under the table from Jay.
Her dad leaned back, tone dry. "So how did you two even end up together again? The story's changed three times."
Jay froze.
Keifer didn't.
"We met in college," he said smoothly.
"She was in the library, buried under a mountain of books. I was there... mostly pretending to study."
Jay blinked. Where was he going with this?
"She asked me to move because I was snacking too loudly," Keifer added, a mock-wounded expression crossing his face. "It was love at first complaint."
He glanced at her with an exaggeratedly soft look. "Since then, I've been following her orders quite happily."
Jay's lips parted in disbelief, but she caught herself just in time, plastering on a stiff smile. Meanwhile, her father frowned thoughtfully, and her mother sighed dreamily.
"That doesn't sound very romantic," her father said, deadpan.
Keifer leaned back easily. "Romance is overrated. Mutual irritation, however-that's the real foundation of a lasting relationship."
Jay dug her nails into her napkin under the table. She could practically hear the smugness radiating off him.
Her mother chuckled. "Oh, it's sweet in its own way. Real life isn't all roses and poetry."
"Exactly," Keifer agreed, nudging Jay's foot lightly under the table. "Sometimes it's passive-aggressive library notes and arguing over who left the coffee pot empty."
Jay gave him a daggered glance but said nothing. Not here. Not in front of her parents, who were eyeing them like they were the poster couple for youthful devotion.
Her father wasn't convinced. He crossed his arms. "And when did you decide that this irritation was worth a lifetime commitment?"
Keifer turned serious. "When you've known someone long enough to see every version of them-and still want more-you don't question it."
Jay expected another teasing remark, a wink, a smirk.
But Keifer just looked at her. Still, calm, convincing.
Something fluttered in her chest that she didn't want to name.
"Besides," Keifer added with an exaggeratedly casual tone, "college was a long time ago. After a few years of chasing her-and her running-I finally caught her."
He threw a wicked smile in Jay's direction.
Jay inhaled sharply, heart pounding with a mixture of rage and helpless mortification.
"You make it sound like she's some prize you won," her father said, clearly unimpressed.
"She's not a prize," Keifer said easily, his voice dipping into something more genuine. "She's the whole game."
Jay stiffened, stunned by the casual sincerity tucked behind the mischief.
Her mother made a delighted noise, clasping her hands together. "Oh, that's lovely."
Jay managed a brittle laugh. "Charming, isn't he?"
Under the table, Keifer's fingers brushed hers briefly-just a casual touch, but it made her snap her hand back instinctively.
for now, she smiled like she meant it, all the while imagining the many, many creative ways she could make Keifer regret every smug word.
Her father clearly didn't buy it. "Love is about patience. Compromise. Stability."
"And you don't think I'm stable?" Keifer said, still smiling, but there was a bite under it.
Jay's mother interjected quickly, in a lighter tone. "Well, it's just... Jay's always been so independent. We didn't expect her to settle down so fast.
Especially with someone who... cracks so many jokes."
Jay's fork clattered onto her plate.
"That's enough," she said, voice sharp.
Her parents both turned to her, startled.
Keifer froze too.
Jay exhaled. "I get that this is weird.
Sudden. But I'm not a teenager bringing home a boyfriend. I'm married. This is my choice."
Her mom frowned. "Sweetheart-"
"No. You don't get to come into our
home and talk down to him like he's some phase I'm going through. He's kind. He makes me laugh when I don't want to. He listens when I talk. And he's never once made me feel like I had to be someone else to be loved."
The table was silent.
Jay hadn't realized how fast her heart was beating until then.
Her dad looked at her-still skeptical, but less sharp now.
Keifer was staring at her like she'd grown two heads.
She blinked at her plate. "Anyway. That's all I wanted to say."
Her mom cleared her throat, softer now. "Well... I suppose marriage does change a person."
Keifer leaned over, whispered in Jay's
ear, "Didn't know you were gonna go to bat for me. I'm kinda flattered."
She rolled her eyes. "Don't make it weird."
He grinned. "Too late."
Jay smiled at him, a soft, genuine smile that made her stomach twist uncomfortably.
Just as her parents were starting to recover from the sudden shift in the conversation, Jay's vision swam for a second. Her stomach churned, a sudden wave of nausea hitting her full force. She blinked, trying to steady herself, but the room seemed to tilt slightly.
She stood too quickly.
The world spun.
"I-excuse me," Jay muttered, placing her hand on her mouth as her stomach lurched. She didn't wait for a response before bolting for the hallway, her footsteps echoing off the hardwood floors.
A moment later, the unmistakable sound of retching filled the room.
From the other side of the door: "Jaybird? You okay?"
She groaned. "Go. Away."
Keifer cracked the door open. "Your mom's looking worried. Should I fake cry and say it's food poisoning?"
"I wish it was food poisoning."
Before she could shoo him off, her mother appeared behind him.
"Oh my God," her mom said, eyes widening. "Jay?"
Jay wiped her mouth and winced. "It's fine. I just-something didn't sit right."
But her mother gasped. "Are you pregnant?"
Jay froze. "What? No! I-"
Keifer stepped in at lightning speed. "Wow. That was fast. We already made a baby? I'm so proud of us."
Jay choked. "Keifer!"
He turned to her mom with a grin. "She's shy about it. But I'm thrilled. I mean, we weren't even trying. Just... pure chemistry."
Jay's eyes widened like saucers. "We are NOT pregnant."
Her mom clasped her hands together, misty-eyed. "I knew it! You're glowing! I had a feeling the moment I walked in."
"Mom, that's the bathroom light."
Keifer leaned in, stage-whispering, "She's in denial. She fainted at breakfast last week."
Jay swatted him. "That was low blood sugar! Because someone forgot to grocery shop!"
"Ah," he said, grinning at her. "Our child will be sassy. I can feel it."
Jay turned to her mom, desperate. "It's food poisoning. I swear."
But her mom was already tearing up, hugging her. "Oh, sweet girl. We're so happy for you two. What a blessing!"
Jay looked over her mom's shoulder to find Keifer trying very hard not to laugh.
"I will kill you," she mouthed.
He just winked. "You look cute when you're homicidal."
The rest of dinner passed in a surreal blur.
Her dad opened a bottle of champagne-"just to toast the miracle," he said, though his tone dripped with dry suspicion. Her mom was already bubbling with excitement, tossing around nursery color ideas like Jay might make an announcement at any second.
Meanwhile, Jay sat there, pale and furious, clutching a glass of ginger ale like it was a weapon.
Every now and then, her dad would narrow his eyes across the table at Keifer, clearly trying to piece together a story that didn't quite add up.
Jay could feel the weight of his gaze, silent questions stacking up in the air.
Keifer, of course, looked entirely at ease.
He lounged in his chair, smiling lazily, brushing his fingers casually against Jay's wrist whenever he thought her parents were looking.
Each time, Jay's spine went rigid.
At one point, her dad muttered into his glass, loud enough for the whole table, "Hasty decisions make messy divorces."
Jay almost dropped her drink.
Keifer didn't miss a beat.
He leaned forward, chin propped lazily on his hand, and said with that infuriating calm, "With all due respect, sir, I don't plan on giving her any reason to trade me in. Yet."
Jay coughed into her napkin.Her mom beamed, completely missing the quiet battlefield unfolding across the table.
And so the evening dragged on-with Jay gritting her teeth, Keifer effortlessly charming, and her father watching like a hawk, silently daring the truth to slip out.
Later, after the door closed behind her parents, Jay turned to Keifer.
"You absolute menace."
He burst into laughter, holding up his hands. "You were amazing. A glowing goddess of fake pregnancy grace."
"You're lucky I'm still nauseous. Or you'd be the one vomiting. From pain."
"I'll take that risk."
She stormed to the kitchen, and he followed, still grinning. "Come on, you've got to admit-it was kinda funny."
Jay spun around. "You told my mother we made a baby."
"Well, technically, I said we might have made one. It's the suspense that keeps things romantic."
"You are the worst."
He walked closer, tone softening slightly. "You didn't have to keep the lie going, you know."
She huffed. "Of course I did. You think I'm going to tell my mother the truth? That I'm pretending to be married to a smug idiot because I needed a legal loophole for rent ?"
Keifer tilted his head, amused. "Smug idiot?"
"You promoted yourself to 'adorable nightmare' last week, but you just lost the title."
He held up the ginger ale. "Peace offering?"
She snatched it. "I'm still mad at you."
"You should be. I'm terrible. But you have to admit... that baby line was gold."
Jay cracked, despite herself. One laugh. Just one.
Then she groaned. "I hate that I laughed."
He smiled, gentle now. "You were kind of amazing tonight. You know that?"
She looked at him, caught off guard. "Why?"
"Because you somehow made pretending to be in love with me look... real."
Jay paused, Something uncomfortable catching in her chest.
And just like that, Keifer gave her a wink, back to playful. "Don't worry. You can fake your way through the next nine months too."
Jay groaned. "You're impossible."
"And yet, you married me."
"Only legally!"
He grinned. "Still counts."
Jay's breath hitched for a moment, the words hanging in the air. She had never been one to defend herself.
Growing up, she'd learned early on to swallow her words, to let others have their say, even if it stung. It was easier that way-easier to avoid the conflict, easier to let the doubt fester quietly within.
But tonight had been different. In that moment with her father, she'd found herself speaking up, defending him, of all people. A person she was supposed to be pretending with... and yet, when the words hanging in the air. She had never been one to defend herself.
Growing up, she'd learned early on to swallow her words, to let others have their say, even if it stung. It was easier that way-easier to avoid the conflict, easier to let the doubt fester quietly within.
But tonight had been different. In that moment with her father, she'd found herself speaking up, defending him, of all people. A person she was supposed to be pretending with... and yet, when her father's words had cut through the air, Jay had felt the instinct to shield Keifer. Not herself, but him.
She didn't understand it, why her need to protect him had come so naturally. But somehow, it had felt like the right thing to do, even if she couldn't fully explain it.