The Library
On Earth, Aeren sat in a university library. The quiet hum of the air conditioning was a familiar comfort. He was reading a medical textbook, his focus absolute.
Then he heard her voice.
"Aeren, you're starting to come to the library often again."
His heart began to pound. A painful, familiar weakness. He looked up at her, and the feeling surged, a threat to his concentration.
He reached into his pocket. The knife was cold against his palm. With a swift, practiced motion, he drove the small blade into his kidney. It was hidden by the book in his lap.
A wave of dizziness washed over him, but he controlled it. He forced his eyes to stay open.
"Yeah," he replied, his voice a little strained. "Class doesn't teach me anything anymore."
She smiled, completely oblivious to his pain. "What can I expect from a genius like you? I knew you were brilliant."
He pushed past the haze. "Why did you come here?"
Her face lit up. "Guess what? He proposed to me, and I said yes! I had a crush on him for years, but I never thought he would actually propose."
Aeren felt a painful twist in his gut, but it was not from the knife. He forced an awkward smile. "That's great news."
"You don't look happy," she said, her voice filled with concern. "Are you okay?"
"No, I'm happy for you," he lied. He gestured to the textbook. "I was just absorbed in this."
She was so focused on her own joy that she didn't doubt his words. "He proposed in the middle of a courtyard, with everyone looking! I was so shocked, but then people started cheering, and I felt a little more relaxed." She talked for thirty minutes before leaving, her happy footsteps echoing.
After she was gone, Aeren's body finally gave out. He slid from his chair to the floor, his eyes fighting to stay open.
'Don't close it, don't close it, don't close it.'
He began the grueling process of treating his own wound. It took him hours. Exhausted, he finally slipped into a coma-like sleep right there in the library, not waking for a full day.
He woke at night, the library empty. "I survived," he whispered to himself.
He tried to stand, but his legs were too weak. He crawled out, leaving a small trail of blood behind him. It took him hours to get to his room, where he used his small collection of medical equipment to continue treating the wound. He fell into an exhausted sleep, waking the next morning to find the wound had not fully healed.
The Morgue
This near-death experience taught him a valuable lesson. Aeren had almost read every medical book available, but theoretical knowledge was useless without practical experience. He needed to practice on something if he wanted to survive.
He left his room and went to the university morgue. The old receptionist looked up at him with a tired expression. "Sir, I need a body for a practical lesson."
The old man looked at him. "What are you talking about? Students aren't allowed to touch dead bodies without a doctor's permission. Wait... you're that top student, aren't you?"
Aeren begged. "Please, can you help me? Just one body, please."
The old man saw the desperation in his eyes but shook his head. "I'm sorry, child. You know the rules."
Aeren begged for a little longer, but the answer was still no. He left, defeated. Back in the library, a single thought echoed in his mind.
If I don't get my hands on a body, I'll die for sure. I survived last time by pure luck, but luck won't work every time. I have to find a way.
As he sat, a mouse scurried into the corner. He looked at it, and a chilling smile spread across his face.
The Experiment
For years, Aeren spent his nights in the library, capturing every rat, mouse, dog, and stray cat he could find. He practiced his skills on them, their organs and physiology a stepping stone to his true goal. His knowledge of anatomy expanded with every experiment. He also continued his brutal self-treatment, stabbing himself and healing his wounds, a terrible price he paid.
He ran into her many times, but his feelings for her never truly faded. Still, his control was growing. He could manage to be in her presence without a single thought of self-harm.
Then one day, he heard her cried voice. "Sob... Aeren... he cheated on me. He left me for his ex..."
His heart began to pound. A wave of empathy threatened to drown him.
STAB.
He plunged the knife into his stomach, a little deeper this time. He looked at her and forced a calm expression.
"Sit here. Let's hear what happened. I'll do my best to help you." His eyes were unfocused, his body shaking from the pain and blood loss.
She was too caught up in her own misery to notice. She talked and talked and talked. He wasn't even able to hear her properly, but he nodded and shook his head, simply mirroring her every movement.
After she left, Aeren watched her go, but he couldn't see her clearly. His body felt heavy, his strength gone.
He looked down at the blood all over the floor. "She didn't even notice," he whispered. "People are so blinded by their own pain."
He began to treat his wound, his hands shaky and his vision blurry. He managed to do it somehow. He was still alive, only because of the years of practice on animals. He knew that without it, he would have died. He began to clean the blood from the floor, crawling on his hands and knees to make sure no one saw what he had done. He then crawled to his room and slept for three days straight. His body was pale, thin, and looked like a corpse to anyone who saw him.
The Cure
Aeren spent one more year in college, but by the end of it, he had finally lost all emotion. He rarely slept in his own bed, and most importantly, he no longer needed to stab himself for a feeling called love. He had achieved total control. He became a doctor, finishing his education in just four years, something impossible for others. He was obsessed with finding a cure for death.
Now, he no longer needed to experiment on animals. He had become a top surgeon, and his patients were his new test subjects. He was posted at the best hospital in the world.
He had sacrificed his looks, his health, and his sanity. He looked like a zombie, his body pale and wounded, his age looking much older than it was. But to him, it was a fair trade. He could handle this much.
"Here I come," Aeren thought, a chilling smile on his face. "My lab."