Before I could respond, he left in a blink of an eye. I try to go after him; I didn't even ask for his name. But I stop in my tracks at the sound of my name being called again. It's Oliver this time. I clench my fist and turn around to face him.
He looks like a mess. Messy hair and wide, panicked eyes, as if he raked his hands through his hair in frustration. He rushes towards me and hugs me tight, breathing heavily.
I don't return the hug. My hands stay at my side. Oliver pulls away and starts inspecting me. Checking my face, my hair, my arms, and my neck, "Are you okay? Did you get hurt? Answer me, babe. Why would you get out of the room? I left you there to rest. Why did you go out there?"
He starts rambling while holding my face. A bit unlikely for him because he doesn't ramble. He always talks slowly. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought he was worried about me. But I don't believe it now. Why would he bring me here knowing full well the kind of danger this town holds?
"I want to go home." He goes rigid at my voice, clearly not expecting me to ask him that.
"Yes, of course. We will leave first thing in the morning—"
"I want to go home right now. I don't want to stay here any longer." I finally looked at him. He must see the look in my eyes as he closes his and has the audacity to look pained.
"Babe, I know what you saw must have been terrifying, but you can't leave right now. It's nighttime. We can't drive at this hour back home. Especially not after what just happened. We might get attacked on the way. Besides, I won't let anything happen to you here—"
"Where were you?" I interrupt him, and he goes quiet, hesitation obvious in his eyes.
I scoff.
"Tracy Chester. She came into your room after you left, calling me a lowly poor human orphan. You told her that, didn't you? You knew that I don't like being pitied about who I am, but you still went ahead and told everyone. It wasn't your story to share."
He opens his mouth to say something, but my voice stops him again.
"Even then I wasn't mad at you, but Tracy showed me her true self, and I got scared, and I ran out looking for you, screaming your name. But you weren't there. And you say you won't let anything happen to me?" I let out a bitter laugh.
"If you really cared about me. You wouldn't bring me here. You wouldn't leave me alone with these beasts—"
"They won't hurt you, babe." He cups my cheeks. Desperation was evident in his voice. "The werewolves of my pack won't ever hurt you."
"Your pack? You… you are like them too, aren't you?" He doesn't deny it and just stares at me. My face scrunches, nausea fills me, and I push him away.
"This is why I didn't tell you? I didn't want to see you disgusted with me like you look right now. I only wanted your love. I wanted you to love me as much as I do. I didn't want to hurt you. You have to believe me, Lyra." He tries to come closer again, but I raise my hand, stopping him in his tracks.
"But I did get hurt, Oliver, or almost did." He looks puzzled, as if he can't believe it.
"Tracy did try to hurt me. She tried to attack me in her wolf form—."
"She did what?" Oliver's voice turns cold. Much different than the voice he was using to talk to me before. "Are you sure it was her? Did you see her? Maybe it was a rogue wolf."
"It was her. I saw her eyes."
"How do you know what her eyes look like?" He stares at me, and then realization dawns upon him.
"She showed it to you, didn't she? Is that what you meant by her real self? That's why you came out of the room looking for me." He murmurs quietly. A tear finally escapes my eye at the reality of it all. Hearing from him that I thought of him first when I felt scared made me feel so pathetic.
I let out a bitter laugh while the tears kept falling from my eyes. Oliver tries to hold me, but I don't let him.
"Please leave me alone. I don't want to see you again."
He looks heartbroken and scared at the same time. "Are you breaking up with me?" He quietly mumbles as if he's scared to voice it out loud. "You are leaving me because I'm a werewolf; is that it? But you told me you will always be with me. You told me that you will expect me in any shape or in any form—"
"Because I didn't know that you lied to me! The problem isn't you being anything that I didn't expect you to be. The problem is that you have lied to me since the beginning of our relationship. If you had told me the truth once, just once, I wouldn't feel so betrayed and humiliated. Even yesterday or today, before I sat in that car to come to this godforsaken town, if you had just told me what I was getting myself into, I would have accepted you in a heartbeat." I am crying now. My chest aches with all the pain in my heart, and Oliver himself looks so broken. I don't like that look on his face. I never liked seeing him upset.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, baby. Please forgive me. I won't ever lie to you again. I'll tell you everything from now on. I won't hide anything. Just don't leave. Please don't leave me. Please. I beg you." Tears start falling from his eyes rapidly, and he drops to his knees. His shoulder trembles as he sobs, and I can't control my own tears at the sight.
I pull him up, holding his hands, but he still keeps his head down. I wipe his tears and make him look at me. His eyes look red, filled with so much hurt.
"You know that I don't belong in your world, don't you? You know that no matter what, I won't be accepted by your side. A pack of werewolves will never accept a human like me. You knew that we were doomed from the beginning. But you still chose me. Choose to be with me, respect me, cherish me, and love me." My voice breaks at the end. I knew he loved me, but we never confessed, and now we won't ever get the chance to.
"I am so grateful for that. I truly am. But going forward nothing will be the same again. I will constantly doubt you, and you will be forced to walk on eggshells around me and tiptoe around me. That's why it's better if we go our own ways. You need someone stronger to stand by your side. Someone like Tracy." My heart stings at the possibility of that. But it is true. Tracy Chester was born in this world, raised in this world, and made for this world. Not me.
Oliver shakes his head. "I don't care about that. All I care about is you. I want you by my side. Not Tracy, not anyone else, only you."
"I hate this town." Oliver freezes at that.
"I hate the people of this town. And gradually I will start hating you too. I'm weak. I'm a weak, weak human with nothing to give. I will hate you if I'm forced to be a part of this place where everyone pities me and sees me as an outsider."
I join both our foreheads. "So please let me go. Let me go with the love in my heart." Oliver closes his eyes, and a lone tear escapes him. He presses a deep, lingering kiss on my forehead and says the word that shatters me.
"I hate you. I hate you so much, Lyra. I wish I didn't meet you." He pushes me away and asks the driver to drop me home.
He turns around and leaves without looking back, and I cry silently, still staring at his retreating back. That's when I notice his and Tracy's parents standing a short distance away looking dejected. I approach them and thank them for having me here, out of politeness. They nod their head solemnly, and a driver escorts me out.
As I open the car door, I look behind me one last time at the house that I'll never step foot in again. The car starts driving, and I give the driver the address of my home and rest my head against the car window and close my eyes. A lone tear escapes me, mourning the loss of my ignorance and my cherished relationship.
The next day, I arrived at the library even before the opening hours. I felt suffocated at my house. On top of that, while I was getting ready for work, I realized I lost my pendant. Last I remember, I was still wearing it before I left for Ravenswood. Maybe I lost it in the chaos of that house. The pendant was the only clue of my past, my existence.
Decades ago when I was dropped off at an orphanage, I had that pendant around my neck. In a way, that pendant was a friend of mine. Accompanied me through my worst and best moments. Witnessed every milestone or every rock bottom I hit. I would have gone to search for it if it were someplace else. But I don't want to go anywhere near that town, let alone that house.
I let out a heavy sigh and started arranging the newly arrived books on their respective shelves. After I'm done with that, I start dusting the dust from some shelves.
"Leave it for now. Come have something to eat. I'm sure you skipped breakfast again." Grandpa Victor calls out from the Nook. I place the duster back in its place and wipe my hands on the apron as I rush to the Nook.
"Don't you dare sit on my sofa with that dirty apron on, young lady." He stops me before I sit myself on the sofa. I give him a look, which he simply ignores, but I do as told.
He slides a plate of toast with some scrambled eggs and a cup of coffee towards me. I start eating immediately while taking little sips of coffee. I'm not usually this hungry in the morning; hence, I tend to skip breakfast. But I didn't have dinner last night, except for almost becoming someone's dinner, so I'm starving this morning.
"Where's your pendant?" Grandpa Victor narrows his eyes at me.
I swallow the food and gulp all the remaining coffee in one go.
"I lost it."
His eyebrows scrunch together as he observes my face, and I blink at him innocently.
"How can you be so irresponsible as to lose such a precious pendant?"
He gives me a dirty look, and I narrow my own eyes. "If I wasn't sure before, I am now. You adopted me only because of that pendant, didn't you?"
He doesn't even deny it and just nods his head. This old man is getting too bold these days.
"My husband was the one who loved you immediately and chose you to adopt. I thought you were annoying because you used to cry all the time. So my husband said that I can stare at the pendant instead and ignore you. So yes, I technically adopted the pendant." He even gives me a little smirk. As much smirk as his old wrinkly face can manage.
I'm not even offended. I know Grandpa Victor loves me. I'm his only family, just like he is mine. Grandpa Christopher and Grandpa Victor got married very late in their lives. Scared of social stigma. But Grandpa Christopher wanted to be a father and convinced Grandpa Victor to adopt. The latter was just content having his husband in his life, but he couldn't say no to him and agreed.
Grandpa Christopher used to say that he fell in love with me at first sight. When he saw tiny me crying wrapped in a cozy blanket, he had this urge to wrap me in his arms and protect me. So he adopted me immediately without even going through other options. Later when I asked him, why didn't he teach me to call him dad instead of grandpa, he said that he didn't care for the names when he saw me. He only wanted to raise me.
He passed away a few years ago, and since then it's been only me and Grandpa Victor.
"Where did that boyfriend of yours take you yesterday anyway? And did he drop you off at home before 9?" Grandpa Victor, standing by the bookshelves, stares at me with imploring eyes.
I dared to lie. "He did drop me off. And he's not my boyfriend anymore. We broke up." I mumble quietly.
"Good. I didn't like that boy. He was too secretive." He puts on his glasses that were tucked in his chest pocket. Grandpa doesn't hide his disdain for him. Come to think of it, I don't think Grandpa ever liked Oliver, but he tolerated him for my sake. And he wasn't wrong at the end of the day; Oliver did have secrets.
"And he took me to his hometown to meet his parents. Ravenswood—"I'm interrupted by the sound of something falling to the ground. A book. Grandpa just dropped a book.
"Where!?" Grandpa asks. His voice is low but sharp, filled with alarm.
I replied with the name of Ravenswood again, and my grandpa's frail face turned ghostly pale. He moves towards me with shaky steps and murmurs hauntingly.
"Honey, Ravenswood doesn't exist!"