Elijah
22nd Day of Summer, 997th Year of Grace
My father's study stank of cedar and paper--the same way it did a decade ago when I had first stepped into the room.
"Sit," Father said without even looking up from his desk.
I hated the chair he made me sit in--it creaked with even the slightest movement as if judging my etiquette like some old madam.
I sat down properly and waited for Lord Graceford to explain why he had summoned me first thing in the morning.
After a few moments of silence, he spoke, "I recieved news about a dispute breaking out on the western border."
"Is Serovia attempting an invasion?" I asked.
"They would be foolish to do so." He closed the ledger he was reading and looked at me. "Do you know why there is no other nation on the continent except Arcanis and Serovia?"
"I've read about it but it would be better if you told me once more," I answered.
"Well, none of those who rose against the Lord's blessed nation exist today," he explained. "They were wiped off the map in the crusade thirty years ago. Serovia survived only because it decided to ally with us at the last moment."
"Then what dispute is occurring in the western borders?" I inquired.
"I don't know." He got up from his chair. "The Church only informed me about the dispute breaking out without other details. But they did also ask me to mobilize my army and proceed toward the border to aid them in case a war breaks out."
"So it is Serovia's doing?"
"I suppose." He paced the room. "It would be foolish of them but it is not beyond them. I just wonder what gave them the confidence to retaliate after thirty years of submission. Nonetheless...
He turned to me. "I will ride with my men when the time arrives. Thorne will take care of most matters of governance but I give you the authority to give him the final nod of approval on all matters."
I nodded but I didn't care.
He knelt down before me and placed a hand on my shoulder--rough, calloused and slightly trembling.
When I looked at him, I didn't see a noble lord. I didn't see a governor. All I saw was an ordinary man--old and tired.
"There's a chance I might not come back," he said. "Son, I want you to know that there are only a few regrets I have in my life.
"First one being unable to save your mother. She was everything to me and I tried my best--I truly did--but no doctor, physician or healer could save her."
Ah, her...
"The second one is my inability to be a good father to you. I wish I had spent more time with you. But after your mother passed away, I... I just didn't know how to act with you. I wanted to dote on you and make sure you got all the love you deserve. Yet, I also wanted to be strict and discipline you so that you may grow up to be strong.
"But with all the work that comes with being the Governor of a city, I was too busy and kept thinking I could always make up the time lost. Oh, how wrong I was...
"My last regret is that I might leave you all alone in this cruel world, Elijah." He patted my head. "I love you more than I was ever able to show, my dear son. If I come back, I hope to make up for the time we lost. It's my last wish to spend some quality time with my son and teach him more about this world."
He smiled softly. "You'll fulfill your old man's wish, won't you?"
I returned the smile and nodded again.
The smile I wore was not the result of some warmth ignited within my heart by my father's words. No, it was like a mask that one wore at a masquerade. It was like a faulty dagger sharpened on the inside so that it cut no one but oneself.
What am I supposed to say? I loved my parents once too. But ever since that day... Am I supposed to tell him now? After all these years? Am I supposed to tell him how she poisoned me and hurt me, yet called it love?
I still remembered cold hands on my face. I could still hear her say, "Mommy will fix you. Everything will be fine, my precious."
She gave me the void within my heart. She was the reason I needed to be fixed by someone else.
I had prayed every night to the Lord to punish her and He did. I realised the Lord had blessed me when I heard she had fallen sick.
Seeing her stuck to the bed, coughing every time she moved--it was the happiest day of my life.
I watched her wither like a dying rose and counted every brittle petal that fell.
I remembered the way the servants wept on the day of her passing. I remembered how father had shut himself in the very study we now talked in.
I was relieved by her death. After all, there was no coming back for her. Yet, this incompetent fool of a father is apologising for not being able to save that fox? He's apologising for not being a better father? How foolish.
"It's alright, Father." I said, my voice laced in honey and a wider smile pasted upon my face. "I know you'll make it back."
I hope you don't.
Alexandra
23rd Day of Summer, 997th Year of Grace
The nightmares had grown worse in the past few weeks.
I didn't remember much about them but I had come to realise that He was in most.
A man in white robes stood in all my dreamscapes with naked feet and spoke words I couldn't understand or remember.
Each time I woke, it felt like I had almost drowned in my dream and had to claw my way back to the surface for air.
Sometimes I sobbed. Sometimes I screamed.
But everytime, my eyes frantically searched for him.
It had been almost a week since Adam left for his first mission as a mercenary.
If he had been by my side, he would've wrapped his arms around me and whispered sweet words of comfort until the tremors eased. He would've sung me the lullaby Ma used to sing to put us both to sleep.
Though, he would've been off-key, I would've still fallen asleep with my head against his chest. And we would've slept like that, curled around each other like we used to as children.
I remembered how Adam had once built a makeshift fort for me out of broken planks and blakets in the alley behind our house. I remembered the way his voice cracked when he tried to imitate heroes from the stories Pa used to tell us. I remembered how we had fallen asleep in the fort and only woken up after it had become dark and Ma had come looking for us. Pa had been mad and he punished Adam too.
I remembered how on a stormy night, I sobbed on the bed--unable to sleep due to being frightened by the thunder. Adam lit a single candle and held my hand.
He had said, "As long as I'm here, you'll never be alone in the dark."
We had made a pact that we'd always protect each other.
I remembered how one Summer we had snuck off to play by the pond at the outskirts of Orrinwick. I had stepped on a pebble and tumbled back into the water. I remembered struggling to swim to the surface but failing. I also remembered how Adam had jumped into the pond for my sake and wrapped his arms around me before bringing both of us out of the water.
The memory of us both drenched and shivering was still fresh in my mind. I still remembered Adam saying, "Don't you try to leave me like that ever again."
He had cried a lot that day.
I wish he were with me but he was busy now--earning coin out of dangerous work for our sake.
So I prayed to the Lord instead.
I prayed that my brother would come back home, safe and sound.
Adam
25th Day of Summer, 997th Year of Grace
The sun had become a tyrant overhead--scorching the earth and making the cobbled road hot enough to blister bare skin.
The air blurred and warped from the heat while my boots scuffed against the cobblestone as I walked through the Mercantile Quarters.
Even the city's stray dogs and tramps had enough sense to hide in the shade of buildings. Only fools or men on errand walked the road.
Perhaps, I was both.
I shifted the basket from one hand to another--the damn thing had started to make my palm sweat, and I wasn't sure if it would still be warm when I reached home despite the summer heat.
I just hoped it tasted good--that mattered the most.
It had taken a few days for my group to get the permission to return home and another few for us to finally arrive at Belmire.
Catherine--the girl I had rescued--had decided to stick with me until we arrived at the base under The Pilgrim, where I left her in the care of fellow faithfuls before setting out for home.
The doubled story building belonging to Mr. Bodkins came into view soon enough-- crooked shutters and a tired door at the front.
I entered the shop and heard Mr. Boldkins from behind the counter. "Welcome back, lad. How was your first mission?"
"Don't talk like we're close or something," I snapped. "I still haven't forgiven you for what you did."
"Well, that's alright," he said with a wry smile. "Take your time."
I ignored him and ascended the stairs. I knocked at the door of our room once and before another knock could land, it opened.
She tackled me like a bull and threw her around my waist, pressing her face against my chest.
I staggered half a step back--the basket almost slipping from my hand--and caught her instinctively.
"I missed you," she muttered into my chemise. "You said you'd be back sooner, you liar!"
I smiled into her hair and caught the scent of lavender soap I had recommended her to use when we had first arrived in Belmire.
"I know," I said, stroking her head. "There was some trouble on the road. I'm sorry."
She pulled back just far enought to glare at me, her face flushed from the summer heat with a pout that occupied her lips. "Why do you always get in trouble?"
"It's not like I want to get in trouble," I protested. "I rushed back to you as fast as I could."
I handed her the basket. She sniffed at the scent emanating from it and gasped. "Pie?"
"Remember that bakery we went to the last time I was home?" I crossed my arms. "You said you liked their pie a lot. So I went to the bakery but there was only one left on the shelf for today. I snatched it up but a well-dressed lady intercepted me and said she wanted to buy the pie off my hand. She said she was really craving something sweet. I denied her offer for extra coin and said it was for my sweetheart. She just turned and left."
"Sweetheart?" She arched an eyebrow.
"Aren't you?" I asked, grinning like an idiot.
She didn't answer. Instead she smiled at the basket in her hands and went inside the room with it kept near her heart as if it were some treasure.
I stepped inside right after.
Connin
25th Day of Summer, 997th Year of Grace
After we left Loomwick, we travelled from city to city, town to town and village to village in search of Ashvale.
Yet, none of the doors we knocked yielded answers. I found not a trace of the ink-headed maiden I saw in every dream.
The Law guided us towards the west and so we kept trodging through the entire southern province until we reached Belmire today.
It was a modest city nestled on a hill near the western edge of the southern province.
As we passed through the gates, my eyes were drawn to the magnificent castle at the top of the hill but suddenly, a strange sensation coiled down my spine.
It was no dread and it was not the sensation one experienced when Chaos run rampant nearby.
It was a familiar feeling.
There was another beloved child of the Lord in the city.
Someone just like me.