"Gwah!"
"Wh-what the—?!"
Usushio Tarako and Yamikaze were slammed face-first into the dirt, the cold muzzles of guns pressed firmly against the backs of their heads. In their peripheral vision, they caught a flash of leather boots and pale ankles.
Both of them had a sudden, sinking feeling of déjà vu.
"Is this... Musketeer X again?"
"Which means there's a treasure trove right above my head!" Yamikaze shouted, unable to help himself as he tried to crane his neck upward.
Just like last time, he was greeted with a heavy thud as the butt of a gun slammed into his skull, pinning his face back into the earth.
"Oof!"
"Men who cannot learn," a cold voice drifted down, "are never popular."
"Ugh... that hurts way more than the physical blow..." Yamikaze groaned.
Musketeer X stepped back, allowing the two men to stumble unsteadily to their feet.
"What is it today?!" Tarako demanded, dusting off his gear. "We haven't done anything to get on your bad side this time!"
"Yeah, exactly! And why are you dressed like that? I thought you were going to start wearing more layers!"
"After deep deliberation," Musketeer X replied flatly, "I rejected that plan. If, by some miracle, Lady Shana were to see me from a distance in such a bulky outfit, her mental image of me might be solidified as 'un-cute.' I cannot risk it."
Faced with her unwavering "Shana-first" logic, the two men decided to pivot to a counter-protest.
"Hey! What if we see something we're not supposed to?!" Tarako yelled.
"Yeah! What about us?!"
"In that case, I will gouge your eyes out. Instantly. Thoroughly. Beyond repair," she stated without a trace of emotion. "Then I will beat your heads until the memories are purged. Besides, if you two are in a position to see anything, the woman in question has already noticed you. The fact that you don't realize that is proof of why you are unpopular."
"..."
"..."
The two men fell into a pained silence, clearly hitting close to home. Musketeer X narrowed her eyes.
"Several hours ago, I saw you two traveling alongside Lady Shana, looking quite pleased with yourselves. To me, that is a 'Grrr' offense. That is your first sin."
"That's... that's so unreasonable!"
"If you're so jealous, just go introduce yourself to her already!"
Ignoring them entirely, Musketeer X continued her mechanical recitation of their crimes.
"Next, I discovered a group of fools attempting to chase Lady Shana's bus. I pursued them on foot, waiting for the perfect moment to make a gallant entrance. However, by the time I arrived, there was nothing left but the wreckage of the bus. Your failure to stall for time until my arrival is your second sin."
"We couldn't help it! Shana, Sinon, and 'Black' are just too strong!"
"I was in the car with them, and there was literally nothing for me to do!"
Musketeer X paused, her mental database of Shana's associates failing to produce a match for the name. She tilted her head slightly.
"Query: Who is 'Black'?"
"Oh, it's not a player. Didn't you see it? That's the name of the heavy-armored Humvee."
"With that thing, you could take on a hundred people in an open field without breaking a sweat," Yamikaze added.
Musketeer X nodded slowly, processing the intel. "Understood. Is it necessary for me to undergo driving maneuvers as well?"
"I mean... probably? It's a good skill to have. I heard everyone was practicing their driving yesterday."
"It's basically a requirement at this point," Tarako added.
"Acknowledged. I will begin special training."
"Oh... uh, good luck with that..."
"Just don't ambush us anymore!"
Musketeer X turned on her heel to head toward the vehicle rental shop, but suddenly froze. She marched back toward them.
"I almost let you distract me. The trial is still in session."
"There's more?!"
"C-come on, that intel was worth some clemency, wasn't it?"
"I am not averse to considering the words of the defendant-slash-defense-counsel," she conceded.
"Great, thanks."
She adjusted her grip on her weapon. "After the bus incident, I continued to monitor the fools and eavesdropped on their conversation. They were quite shaken and debated how to proceed. They disbanded without reaching a conclusion, seemingly giving up on any further attacks for the day. Thus, I decided to wait for Lady Shana's return."
"Oh... you were waiting for us?" Tarako asked, a bit touched.
"Th-thanks."
Musketeer X shook her head. "I was waiting for Lady Shana. Not you."
"Right... obviously."
"That's basically the same thing! You're so unfair!"
Naturally, she ignored the outburst. "You two eventually returned, but Lady Shana was nowhere to be seen. The Humvee and the sniper named Sinon were also missing, so I assumed they were parking the vehicle. I waited near Lady Shana's base for her return."
"Oh, by the way," Yamikaze chimed in, "they named the base 'Mount Kurama.'"
"Mount Kurama... Noted. The window for clemency has widened."
"Score!"
Musketeer X continued. "Then, Lady Shana returned. Just before that, I observed NPC couriers delivering high-end catering and sweets to Mount Kurama. I assumed a victory banquet was underway. It occurred to me that I must be recognized by Lady Shana as soon as possible if I am to ever attend such a gathering."
"Just talk to her! Seriously!"
"We could even introduce you!"
"Silence. I'll kill you," she snapped, her voice turning icy with irritation.
"Ah, yes ma'am."
"Sorry..."
Her gaze sharpened, turning cold and piercing. "The biggest problem lies there."
"Where?"
"The banquet?"
"Did you two," she asked, her voice trembling slightly, "consume the sweets that were brought in for the party?"
"That's what this is about? The sweets? Oh, yeah, the girls were really hyped about them."
"There were leftovers, so I had a few. They were definitely delicious."
"Yeah, the food was great, but those sweets were top-tier."
In an instant, Musketeer X's eyes narrowed into slits. She leveled her gun and pulled back the hammer with a sharp click.
"Guilty. No possibility of parole."
"WHYYY?!"
"Is it the sweets?! Is it really because of the sweets?!"
"Affirmative."
"You've got to be kidding me..."
Anger began to seep into her voice. "You fools have no idea. Those are some of the most exclusive luxury items in GGO. A single set costs five digits in real-world currency."
"Wait, what?"
"Th-they were that expensive?!"
"From what I could see, all the catering was of the highest quality," she hissed.
"No way... I mean, I knew they tasted good, but..."
"I had no idea... I was just stuffing my face..."
"Your third sin," she whispered, "was failing to recognize Lady Shana's feelings of gratitude toward you, mindlessly consuming her gifts. And your greatest crime... is that you had the audacity to eat sweets that even I haven't tasted! I've wanted to try them for so long! I've stood in front of that shop for hours, pacing back and forth, unable to bring myself to spend the credits!"
The two men shivered at her sudden change in demeanor.
"Whoa... it really was a food grudge..."
"Partner, this is bad. She's dropped the act. This is a deep-seated culinary resentment..."
"Dogeza! It's the only way!"
"Right!"
The two of them immediately dropped into a deep, formal prostration on the ground.
"We're so sorry! We didn't realize Shana cared about us that much!"
"We're sorry for being insensitive and eating those expensive sweets without knowing their value!"
"...Tarako? Yami-yami? What are you doing?"
"Huh?"
"Wait... Pito?"
They looked up. Musketeer X was gone. In her place stood Pitohui, looking down at them with an amused, puzzled expression.
"Why are you two bowing to the empty air? Do you have an imaginary dominatrix or something?"
"Wait, where did she go?"
"Huh? Huh?"
They scrambled up, looking around frantically. They spotted Musketeer X's silhouette disappearing behind a distant building. They guessed she must have sensed someone coming from the base and made a tactical retreat.
"She's fast..."
"Hmm? Who is?"
"Oh, nothing... Wait, Pito, what's that in your hand?"
"This? There were leftovers, so I took some as a souvenir. I've got two—want one?"
It was the very sweet they had been discussing.
"YES! Please! One for me, Lady Pitohui!"
"What's with the creepy honorific...? Well, if you want it that badly, I'll give you one for the sheer spirit of it."
"Thank you! I owe you one!"
Pitohui tilted her head, realizing something. "Oh, did you finally figure out how much today's food and sweets were worth?"
"Y-yeah!"
"A bit late, but we finally realized it."
"I was wondering why you two weren't more surprised," Pitohui laughed. "Shana arranged the delivery from the garage, but even I was shocked when I saw the quality of the food that arrived. Shana just sat there smiling and didn't say a word about it, so I decided not to worry, but even I hesitated for a second before digging in."
"Just smiling and not saying a word, huh..."
"That's just like her, though. She'd never brag about it. If you asked her later, she'd just say, 'Oh? Was it that expensive?' and move on. I guess that's one of the things I like about her!"
In the distance, they could see Musketeer X nodding vigorously in agreement. The two men nodded along too.
"Well, I'm heading out. See ya later, boys!"
"Yeah, see ya, Pito!"
"Let's win the next one too!"
After Pitohui left, the two men walked toward where Musketeer X was hiding and silently held out the "souvenir" sweet. She accepted it with a look of pure joy.
"I hereby grant a stay of execution," she whispered.
"So unreasonable..."
"Whether you find this unreasonable or not is the difference between Lady Shana and you. That is the dividing line between being popular and being... you."
With that, Musketeer X took a bite of the sweet. Her face melted into a radiant, genuine smile.
"Oh wow... it's delicious... This is incredible. I can keep working hard tomorrow after this."
Seeing her speak in a voice fitting for a girl her age, the two men exchanged a look.
"Hey, partner... I guess if you can see a smile like that, all the trouble was worth it."
"Yeah. I guess that's the difference between us and Shana..."
"Actually, I feel like my friendship with Shana just got a lot deeper."
"Me too! Let's give this war everything we've got for her sake!"
"A good attitude," Musketeer X said, regaining her composure. "I will intervene when the time is right. Until then, you two do your best to serve Lady Shana."
"You really won't budge on that, will you...?"
"If something happens, I'll keep you informed—within reason."
Just as the three were about to part ways, a voice called out.
"Oh! Tarako-san, Yamikaze-san! What are you doing out here? And is that... Musketeer X-san? I didn't know you three were friends. I guess it makes sense since you were all in the BoB together."
"Ah..."
"Ee..."
"Uh..."
"Hmm?"
Musketeer X had been so engrossed in her sweet that she had completely missed the approach of another player. The one who had called out to them with a bright, friendly smile was Ikoma.
Who said this would end with a smooth departure?!
-------------------------------
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