A few days after the opening ceremony, Rika and Keiko descended on Asuna's room under the guise of a sleepover. What greeted them was Asuna, half-buried in a pile of letters, diligently writing responses.
"…What is this?" Rika asked, stunned.
"Uh… love letters?" Keiko ventured.
"All of these?" Rika pressed.
"Y-Yeah," Asuna confirmed.
The stack neared a hundred letters, leaving Rika and Keiko speechless. It was far more than they'd anticipated, but the sheer volume wasn't the real shock. What baffled them was what Asuna was doing with them.
"Asuna-san," Keiko said hesitantly, "are you… writing replies to all of them?"
"Uh-huh," Asuna replied casually.
Rika rubbed her temples, as if warding off a headache. "Asuna, seriously?"
Asuna glanced up, uncertain. "W-Well, yeah…"
Rika sighed deeply. "You're not actually writing replies to the ones handed to you in person, are you?"
"I mean… I am," Asuna admitted.
Rika groaned, her tone firm. "If someone gives you a love letter in person, you have to turn them down on the spot!"
"B-But wouldn't that be rude?" Asuna asked, looking up at Rika with wide, nervous eyes.
Rika's sigh deepened. "If it's slipped into your locker or passed through a friend, sure, you might need to seek them out or write a reply. But when it's face-to-face, not rejecting them right away could give them false hope. You're definitely turning them down, right? Stringing them along is what's actually rude."
"When you put it like that…" Asuna mumbled.
"I get that your personality makes you want to reply properly," Rika continued. "But that could end up being crueler to them in the long run."
"I… I'm sorry," Asuna said, her expression genuinely remorseful.
Rika decided to drive the point home. "Keiko, you're on inner monologue duty. Improvise. Asuna, pay attention."
"Inner monologue?" Keiko blinked. "I'm not sure, but okay!"
Rika launched into an impromptu skit. "(Hachiman) Asuna, wanna grab something on the way home?"
"(Asuna) Sorry, I've got to write replies to love letters. Don't worry, they're all rejections!"
"(Hachiman) Got it, no big deal. (Keiko, inner monologue!)"
Keiko jumped in, a bit stiffly. "(Hachiman's thoughts) Asuna's been so busy with those letters lately… I'm kinda lonely…"
Asuna's eyes widened in panic. "I'm sorry, Hachiman-kun! I didn't mean to make you feel lonely, I swear!"
Seeing Asuna take the bait, Rika smirked inwardly and continued. "(Hachiman) Asuna, how about today?"
"(Asuna) Sorry, I'm trying to reject them all, but they just keep coming…"
"(Hachiman) Right… You're so popular, it can't be helped… (Keiko!)"
Keiko, getting into the groove, hammed it up. "(Hachiman's thoughts) I wish Asuna was only popular with me. Ugh, this is annoying!"
Asuna's face paled. "O-Of course I feel the same way! Ughhh…"
Rika, sensing the final blow, went for it. "(Random female student) Hey, Hachiman-kun, wanna hang out after this?"
"W-Who's that?!" Asuna yelped, her face draining further.
Rika ignored her and pressed on. "(Hachiman) Hmm… I was supposed to be with Asuna today, but… what should I do? (Keiko, hit 'em hard!)"
"Leave it to me!" Keiko declared. "(Hachiman's thoughts) Asuna's always busy with those letters. I've got no plans, and it'd be rude to just say no. Guess I'll go along. It's just hanging out, not cheating or anything."
"(Hachiman) Alright, let's—"
"Noooo! Stop it!" Asuna shrieked, lunging at Rika and shaking her frantically.
Rika, realizing she might've gone too far, tried to calm her. "Asuna, easy, easy. There, there."
"Rika-san, you're soothing her like a horse…" Keiko said, then joined in. "Asuna-san, calm down! …No good? Okay, there, there."
Their efforts paid off, and Asuna gradually settled down. Rika clapped her hands sharply. "Alright, that's a wrap!"
Asuna snapped back to reality, staring at them. Rika pressed on. "So, Asuna, that could be a glimpse of a possible future."
"No… I don't want that…" Asuna whimpered. "What do I do…?"
"With love letters piling up like this, just rejecting them on the spot won't solve the root issue," Rika said. "Oh, and Asuna, you haven't been giving out your email or phone number, right?"
"Nope, I haven't shared either with anyone," Asuna assured her.
Rika sighed in relief. "Good. For now, you'll have to deal with the current batch by rejecting them. But after that… Keiko, any ideas?"
Keiko pondered, then clapped her hands. "Rika-san, hide a tree in a forest! When in Rome, do as the Romans do! Let's call Kazuto-san and get a guy's perspective!"
"That metaphor's a bit off, but sure, let's ask him," Rika agreed.
She pulled out her phone, set it to speaker, and dialed Kazuto. He picked up quickly. "Hello? Something up?"
"Hey, Kazuto," Rika said. "Hypothetically, if I got a ton of love letters, how would I stop them from coming?"
Keiko inwardly panicked, sensing the phrasing could cause a misunderstanding. Rika had used herself as an example to make it easier for Kazuto to respond, but it backfired. Kazuto fell silent. Keiko, imagining his stunned expression, was about to clarify when Rika spoke again.
"Kazuto? You there?"
"Y-Yeah… Uh, you're getting that many love letters, Rika? And… you're rejecting them all, right…?"
"What? No, I'm not rejecting anything," Rika replied casually, forgetting it was a hypothetical.
Keiko jumped in. "Stop! Stop right there!"
"Keiko? What's—" Rika started, confused.
Keiko waved her off and addressed Kazuto. "Rika-san, hold on! Kazuto-san, I'll explain everything, so please stay calm!"
She laid out the situation clearly, emphasizing that Rika's question was a misunderstanding. "That's the deal. Sorry for the scare, Kazuto-san."
"Man, you had me worried," Kazuto said, relieved. "Sorry, Rika."
"My bad," Rika admitted. "I can see how that sounded."
"It's fine, I totally trusted you," Kazuto said quickly.
"Kazuto-san, saying stuff like that'll shorten your lifespan," Keiko quipped.
"Sorry!" he apologized instantly.
"So, any good ideas?" Rika asked.
"From a guy's perspective, it's simple," Kazuto said confidently. "First, get the raiding group members in each class to spread the word that Hachiman and Asuna are inseparable. Those guys idolize Hachiman, so they'll cooperate no problem. Then, Asuna, you stick even closer to Hachiman—really show off that you're a couple. That should stop the love letters cold."
Asuna fidgeted, blushing. "B-But that's so embarrassing… Being all lovey-dovey in public…"
Kazuto and Keiko pounced immediately.
"Asuna, you're one to talk!" Kazuto exclaimed. "That's rich coming from you!"
"Total foul, Asuna-san!" Keiko added. "Foul!"
Rika went physical, pinching Asuna's cheeks and tugging. "Which mouth is saying that, huh? Huh?"
"R-Rika, don't pinch my cheeks!" Asuna wailed, teary-eyed. "I get it, I get it!"
Still pinned by Rika's fingers, Asuna agreed to the plan, which would start the next day—without Hachiman's knowledge, of course.
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