I looked up at him.
He was terrifying.
The sword at my throat didn't need to move. It already felt like it had decided what I was.
His eyes stayed locked on mine.
Cold.
Still.
Like I was something he didn't understand yet.
That was worse than anger.
Anger meant something human was still there.
This… wasn't that.
…
I swallowed.
My throat hurt just doing that.
Lucan Virellan.
The name sat in my head like a weight I couldn't push away.
Of all people…
Why him?
My fingers twitched against the ground.
I didn't even realize I was shaking until I saw it.
He wasn't just the protagonist.
He wasn't just the "hero" of the story.
He was—
No.
Stop thinking.
Every time I think, it gets worse.
He was a reincarnator.
Not the kind people liked to write about.
Not the kind that came back stronger.
He came back… again.
And again.
And again.
Each time something was taken.
I remembered writing it.
I remembered thinking it was "deep."
I remembered thinking it would make him more interesting.
…
God.
What did I think I was doing?
My chest tightened.
Which Lucan was this?
The thought came too easily.
Too naturally.
Like I'd asked it a thousand times before.
Early.
Middle.
Late.
All of them different.
All of them wrong in different ways.
If it was early—
Maybe I could survive this.
Maybe I could talk.
Maybe I could explain—
No.
I couldn't explain anything.
Explaining would make it worse.
If it was later—
…
My mind stopped.
I didn't want to finish that thought.
Lucan's grip tightened slightly.
Not enough to hurt more.
Just enough to remind me he could.
"Answer."
His voice was flat.
Like this wasn't personal.
Like I was just something blocking his path.
My mouth opened.
Nothing came out.
My brain screamed at me to say anything.
Anything normal.
Anything human.
Instead—
"I…"
My voice broke.
I hated that it broke.
I didn't mean to say anything.
But the next words slipped out anyway.
"I want to go home."
…
Silence.
Even the air felt like it stopped.
Why did I say that?
Why did I say that?
That wasn't useful.
That wasn't safe.
That wasn't—
Lucan blinked once.
Slow.
Uncertain.
Not angry.
Not relieved.
Just…
Confused.
Like I had spoken in a language that didn't belong here.
Then—
He let go.
I fell.
Hard.
The ground hit my back and the breath left me in a single, painful shock.
I coughed.
Once.
Twice.
My lungs burned.
But I was still breathing.
That was the first thing I noticed.
I was still breathing.
That was wrong.
People didn't get to notice that after a sword was at their throat.
…
I looked up.
Lucan was still standing there.
Watching me.
Thinking.
Not moving.
Not deciding.
Just observing.
Like I was a problem he hadn't solved yet.
That was worse than if he had attacked again.
Because it meant I wasn't done.
Not yet.
Then he moved.
He grabbed the back of my jacket.
I made a sound I didn't recognize as mine.
Something between a protest and a gasp.
My body tried to resist.
It didn't matter.
He was already pulling me up.
"W-wait—"
My feet scraped the ground as I stumbled after him.
"Where are you taking me?"
No answer.
Of course.
There was never an answer.
Only movement.
Only him deciding.
Only me following.
The city passed around us like a broken dream I couldn't wake up from.
Buildings leaned where they shouldn't.
Glass was gone from windows.
Smoke curled between the streets in slow, lazy spirals.
Somewhere far away—
Someone was screaming.
I couldn't tell where.
I didn't want to know.
If I knew, it would become real.
I forced my eyes onto Lucan's back instead.
That was safer.
If he stopped walking…
I would stop.
If he ran…
I would run.
If he—
No.
Don't think about that.
The ground trembled once.
Faint.
Like something far away had shifted.
My stomach dropped.
I recognized that feeling.
I didn't want to.
But I did.
My eyes drifted upward.
The sky…
It looked wrong.
Cracked.
Not like glass breaking.
Like something had already been broken a long time ago and was only now being held together by something I couldn't see.
Dark lines spread across it.
Slow.
Endless.
I stopped breathing for a second.
No.
No, no, no—
My hands went cold.
My mouth went dry.
That pattern—
That structure—
That wasn't supposed to be visible yet.
Not here.
Not now.
My thoughts stumbled over themselves.
This wasn't the beginning.
It couldn't be.
It wasn't supposed to—
Lucan didn't look up.
He just kept walking.
Like he already knew.
I continued to follow.
I didn't have much of a choice.
The city blurred around us as we moved.
Every step felt wrong.
Too loud.
Too real.
Like the world didn't care that I was trying not to exist inside it.
Lucan didn't speak.
He rarely did.
That was starting to feel worse than if he did.
At least words meant intention.
Silence meant I had to guess.
And I was terrible at guessing.
We turned down a broken street.
Then another.
Then—
A building.
Half-standing.
Half-dead.
Lucan stopped in front of it.
I stared at it for a moment.
It looked like it had been abandoned mid-collapse.
Like even gravity had given up halfway through.
He pulled me inside.
No warning.
No explanation.
Just movement.
Stairs.
Dark.
Dust everywhere.
Each step echoed too loudly in my ears.
I hated it.
Every sound felt like it belonged to something else.
Something that wasn't supposed to hear me.
We stopped on one of the higher floors.
Lucan opened a door.
It wasn't locked.
That bothered me more than it should have.
Inside was…
Empty.
Not clean.
Not safe.
Just—
Claimed.
Like someone had decided this space belonged to them now.
Lucan dropped a bag near the wall.
Metal clinked inside it.
I flinched before I could stop myself.
He noticed.
Of course he noticed.
But he didn't comment.
That was almost worse.
…
Days passed.
I think.
Time didn't feel like time anymore.
Just light through windows.
Then darkness.
Then light again.
Lucan would leave.
Come back.
Leave again.
Sometimes covered in something dark.
I stopped asking what it was.
Not because I didn't want to know.
Because I already knew enough to regret asking.
He didn't tie me up.
He didn't lock the door.
He didn't even tell me not to leave.
Which meant leaving wasn't an option.
Not really.
Because everything outside that door felt like it had already decided I was not allowed to survive it.
So I stayed.
Mostly sitting.
Mostly thinking too much.
Thinking was the worst part.
Because thinking always led back to the same place.
Home.
My apartment.
My bed.
The stupid noise my neighbors made at night.
The way the library smelled like paper and dust and nothing dangerous.
I kept expecting to wake up there.
Every morning.
Every time I blinked too long.
Every time Lucan left the room.
Nothing changed.
That was starting to feel like the worst answer.
One day, Lucan came back earlier than usual.
The door slammed open.
I jumped so hard I nearly hit my head on the wall.
He was holding supplies.
Food.
Water.
Something wrapped in cloth that I didn't want to identify.
He dropped everything near the floor.
Then looked at me.
Just for a second.
That was enough to make my stomach drop.
"We're going out."
His voice was flat.
Final.
Like the decision had already been made long before he said it.
I blinked.
"…Why?"
"Food."
That was it.
No explanation.
No reassurance.
Just that.
"Oh."
I stood up too quickly.
My legs felt wrong.
Unsteady.
Like they hadn't been used properly in days.
Lucan threw a jacket at me.
I caught it late.
We left.
The stairs felt longer than I remembered.
The building felt quieter.
Outside felt worse.
The world hadn't changed.
It had just… waited.
The streets were empty in places.
Not peaceful.
Just abandoned in a way that felt temporary.
Like everything had stopped mid-breath.
We walked.
And walked.
And walked.
I stopped trying to remember directions.
It didn't matter.
Nothing outside felt like it stayed in place long enough to memorize anyway.
We passed broken cars.
Collapsed storefronts.
Marks on walls I didn't want to interpret.
Sometimes I heard movement.
Sometimes I didn't.
I never knew which was worse.
Lucan kept moving without hesitation.
That was the part that scared me most.
He never paused.
Never second-guessed.
Like he already knew what was ahead.
Or like it didn't matter.
I followed him because there wasn't anything else to do.
Because standing still felt like choosing to die.
Eventually, we reached it.
A supermarket.
The glass was shattered.
The entrance wide open like a missing tooth.
It felt wrong immediately.
Not because it was destroyed.
Because it felt like something was waiting for it.
Lucan stopped.
I almost bumped into him.
He didn't move.
Didn't look at me right away.
Then—
He spoke.
Low.
Careful.
Like the air itself was listening.
"Listen carefully."
My chest tightened.
Something in his tone changed everything.
This wasn't food.
This wasn't simple.
This was—
Wrong.
His hand reached for my shoulder.
Firm.
Controlled.
Not painful.
Worse than painful.
Intentional.
"If something happens inside…"
He finally looked at me.
Just for a second.
"…run."