*Hokage's Office.*
Sarutobi Hiruzen, Mitokado Homura, and Utatane Koharu had gathered to discuss their strategy for dealing with Shimura Danzō—before he arrived.
In their eyes, this was absolutely necessary!
Danzō's recent actions had been outrageous.
Not only had he secretly used villagers as test subjects for human experiments behind their backs, but even after being confined, he showed no remorse. Then, in his delusional quest to take over Hanzo the Salamander's Umbrella Corporation and create a "New Konoha," he ended up getting himself kidnapped instead!
Because of him, Konoha suffered heavy losses and a major blow to its reputation…
These were just a few of Danzō's many crimes.
He had to face the consequences for his actions!
As for their earlier hopes that Danzō might bring them good news from the Land of Waves?
That was a separate matter!
Hopes were just hopes—in the end, it was all Danzō acting on his own stubborn whims.
If he had succeeded, it would've been Konoha's victory. But since he failed? Well, that was his mess to clean up.
"Seems like house arrest isn't cutting it," Homura mused, stroking his beard. "Mark my words, if we don't keep a tight leash on him, that bastard's gonna cause even more trouble!"
"Then why not just toss him in the dungeon?" Koharu suggested after a moment of silence. "We can still feed him well—the main thing is stopping him from stirring up more chaos."
"I don't think that's appropriate," Homura countered, shaking his head. "Danzō is still one of us. And after what he went through at the Umbrella Corporation… I wouldn't be surprised if he's suffering from psychological trauma."
"He's not that fragile, is he?" Koharu said uncertainly, glancing at the Hokage. "Hiruzen, what do you think?"
"Extend his confinement and station an Anbu squad around his residence," Hiruzen exhaled a smoke ring, his tone calm. "If he asks, we'll say it's for his protection."
"Sounds good!"
"I agree."
The two advisors nodded in unison.
*Knock knock.*
"Lord Hokage!" An Anbu guard at the door gasped. "D-Danzō-sama is here!"
"So he's here. No need to make a fuss," Koharu frowned, scolding the guard. "Let him in."
*Click.*
The door opened.
And there stood Danzō—wearing a low-cut outfit that exposed far too much skin, fishnet stockings clinging to his legs, and, most strikingly, a pair of fluffy pink bunny ears perched atop his head.
Silence.
The office plunged into absolute stillness.
Homura, Koharu, and Hiruzen all stared, wide-eyed, their faces frozen in sheer disbelief.
"Why are you all looking at me like that?" Danzō scowled, rubbing his face. "Do I have something on my face?"
"PFFT—HAHAHAHA!" From an unseen vantage point, Kushina clutched her stomach, howling with laughter. "'Do I have something on my face?' Oh my god, since when was Danzō this funny?!"
"If he could see what he's wearing right now, I doubt he'd be laughing," Mikoto smirked. "He might just commit seppuku on the spot."
"Please, don't give that cockroach too much credit," Kushina snorted. "At most, he'll sulk for a while before crawling back out of the woodworks."
"You really have him pegged, huh?"
"After watching his performances for so long, who wouldn't know his personality by now?"
Meanwhile, Hiruzen finally snapped out of his shock and took a deep breath. "Danzō… what… is this?"
"What about me?" Danzō's frown deepened.
"Did… Hanzo traumatize you that badly?" Homura's eye twitched as a stray leg hair poked through the fishnets. "Danzō, don't give up on yourself!"
"Bullshit!" Danzō bristled at the mention of Hanzo. "I endured captivity with unbreakable resolve! Two days in a cell was nothing!"
"Oh really? Then why did you send a plea for help?" Koharu deadpanned.
Danzō's face spasmed before falling into silence.
Sure, he believed he could endure anything—but that damn Hanzo made sure death wasn't even an option.
"Koharu, that's enough."
Hiruzen shot her a warning look. Clearly, Danzō wasn't in the right state of mind. Pushing him further might lead to… unpredictable outcomes. "At least Danzō has returned safely. That's worth celebrating."
He forced himself to maintain a neutral expression, desperately avoiding the visual assault that was Danzō's outfit.
"Yes, coming back is what matters," Homura chimed in, playing along. "Just put all that unpleasantness behind you and rest for a few days."
"I appreciate your concern," Danzō's tone softened slightly. "And don't worry—I'll find a way to repay the two hundred million ransom."
(Of course, he had zero intention of actually paying it back. Konoha's money was his money, and his money was his money. Simple logic. After all his years of sacrifice for the village a mere two hundred million was a bargain to get him back!)
"Ah… about that…"
"You… don't actually have to repay it."
The two advisors exchanged awkward glances.
"What do you mean?" Danzō's voice dropped dangerously low. "Do I look like the kind of man who defaults on his debts to you two?"
"Danzō, just… hear me out," Hiruzen cleared his throat. "The two hundred million was taken from your Root treasury. So, in a way, it was already your money being put to good use."
"…What?" Danzō's eyes bulged. "Hiruzen… you're joking, right?"
"Root is disbanded anyway. It's not like you were using those funds," Koharu added unhelpfully.
"You—you—!" Danzō's finger trembled as he pointed at them. "This isn't over!"
As he raged, the bunny ears on his head twitched in sync with his fury.
Hiruzen, Homura, and Koharu were now completely fixated on the ears, barely registering his threats.
'They move. Holy shit, they actually move.'
Honestly, if not for Danzō's wrinkled old-man face, those pink bunny ears would've been kinda… cute.
"You bastards!" Danzō's face darkened further when he realized they weren't even listening. "Mark my words—you'll regret this!"
With that, he slammed the door hard enough to rattle the walls.
As his furious footsteps faded, Hiruzen blinked, muttering under his breath:
"Wait… did he also have a bunny tail?"
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