CHAPTER EIGHT
Logan's POV
I don't know what it was, but something about her just threw me off today. I can't seem to shake the feeling of it, and if I'm being honest, it's kind of bothering me. Maybe it's just a feeling.
It started right after the hug. She thanked me, and I didn't know how to respond. It's not like I do favors for people, especially not without something in return. But with Olivia, it was different. She just hugged me, like it was the most natural thing in the world. She was warm, almost as if she was grateful beyond what anyone else would be. I'm not sure what it was that hit me, but I stood there for a minute, kind of frozen. And then I realized I didn't know how to react.
When we sat down after, she was the same as always-talkative, a bit too animated, but in a way that wasn't annoying. She was just... full of energy, and it was hard not to get caught up in it. Her voice was like a constant stream of words, like she had so much to say and no filter for it. I didn't mind, though. It was just that when she wasn't talking, it got quiet-awkwardly quiet. And she noticed. Of course, she did.
I didn't mean to stare. I really didn't. But I couldn't help it. She was sitting there across from me, her hands fidgeting with her cup, talking about something that probably didn't matter, but I wasn't hearing her words. I was too focused on her. The way she was looking at me, those bright green eyes of hers, full of curiosity and... something else. I don't know. I couldn't explain it.
It wasn't until she stopped talking and just... stared at me back that I realized I'd been looking at her for way too long. That wasn't like me. I don't do this kind of thing. I don't even let people get close enough to notice when I'm staring. But Olivia had this way of pulling me in without even trying. I was used to keeping people at arm's length, but with her, I just didn't know how to distance myself.
"Why are you staring at me?" she asked, her voice teasing, but there was a little edge to it. She was good at making everything seem like it was just a joke, but I could tell she was serious.
I almost told her the truth, that I was staring because something about her made me feel like I couldn't stop. But I didn't. I didn't know how to explain it, and I didn't want to sound like an idiot. So, I just muttered, "I wasn't staring," and added a quick, "Just... thinking."
She gave me that look-the one where she wasn't buying it. "Right," she said. "Thinking. About what?"
It should've been easy to brush her off, to stay detached. That's what I always did. But something about her made it hard to keep the usual distance. She wasn't the type to let people get away with being vague, and for some reason, I didn't want to be vague with her. Maybe it was because, for once, I didn't have to hide behind some cool, distant persona. She was just... here. And somehow, she made me feel like I could be here, too, without all the walls I usually put up.
"Nothing important," I said, my voice quieter than I meant it to be. But that wasn't even right, was it? I'd be lying if I said it wasn't important. Just her being around felt important in a way that didn't make sense. It wasn't the usual fake politeness I was used to with people. It was something more, something raw. And I hated that I couldn't put it into words.
"Just... it's not every day I meet someone who doesn't hold back," I added, hoping it would sound casual. But I could feel the words hanging in the air between us. The weight of them, the truth in them. It felt like I was letting her in more than I was ready for. But, damn it, I wasn't sure I wanted to close her out either.
She laughed then, and it was one of those real, genuine laughs-like she wasn't holding anything back at all. "Well, I can't really help that," she said with a grin. "It's kind of my thing."
I wanted to laugh too, but there was something in the way she said it, the way she shrugged it off like it was no big deal, that hit me harder than it should have. I didn't even know her that well, but I already felt like she was getting under my skin. Like she was somehow this force I couldn't ignore, and I hated it.
I watched her for a second longer, my thoughts racing. She didn't get it, did she? She didn't know that people like me didn't let their guard down. She didn't know that everything she was saying and doing was making it harder for me to stay in control. But she didn't have to know. She was just being Olivia-bright, funny, talkative, and completely unapologetic about who she was.
I wished I could be more like that. I wished I could be someone who didn't always overthink everything, who didn't keep track of every little move I made, trying to make sure I stayed two steps ahead. But with her, I didn't feel like I was ahead at all. I felt like I was just... reacting. And it wasn't something I was used to.
"I don't know why I'm saying all this," I said, more to myself than to her. "I don't usually do this." My voice came out rougher than I wanted it to, but there was no taking it back.
Olivia just smiled, like she always did. "Well, maybe you should," she said softly. "It's kind of nice."
I almost said something else, but I couldn't. Something inside me just shut down, like I had to protect whatever small piece of control I still had left. I couldn't let her see how much her words were affecting me. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know why I was feeling this way. All I knew was that when she looked at me like that, with those big green eyes of hers, it made me want to take a step closer. But I wouldn't. I couldn't.
I just had to hold it together. I wasn't the kind of guy who let things get messy. But with Olivia... I had a feeling it was already too late.