— WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOU BIG-BOOBED COW?!— WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOU FLAT IRONING BOARD?!
Both goddesses shouted at the same time, their voices echoing through the tavern and silencing the rowdy atmosphere for an instant.
The customers who didn't know their relationship looked at each other, sensing they were about to witness a spectacle. Some of the bolder ones were already starting to set up bets on who would win the exchange of insults.
The more experienced—or simply those who knew them—sighed with resignation. Finn and Riveria, used to this kind of scene, exchanged a weary look.
— Here we go again… — Finn muttered, rubbing his temples.
— Loki-sama… behave yourself. — Riveria warned in her cold tone, though without much hope of being obeyed.
The tension lasted for a brief instant until Loki crossed her arms and let out a mocking laugh.
— Hah! Never thought I'd see the "great" Hestia wasting her Valis in a cheap tavern like this. You've even lost the right to be called a goddess, living like a beggar now.
Hestia growled, clenching her fists tightly.
— And I never thought I'd see the "great" Loki going out drinking instead of taking care of her Familia. Wait… — She narrowed her eyes and gave a venomous smile. — You do that all the time, don't you? I bet they're already used to fending for themselves without you around!
Loki's smirk twitched for a moment before twisting into a scowl.
— At least I have a Familia! Unlike a certain failure who couldn't even recruit a single member. Playing solo mode, Hestia? Pathetic!
Hestia smiled dangerously sweet.
— Who said I don't have a Familia? For your information, mine is already bigger than your chest! Oh wait… I forgot… YOU DON'T HAVE ONE!
The vein on Loki's forehead bulged, and in the blink of an eye, the two lunged at each other.
— WHY YOU—!!!
And then, without a shred of the dignity a goddess should have, Loki and Hestia began slapping and pulling each other's hair, rolling across the tavern floor like two children fighting over the last slice of cake.
The hall erupted with cheers and laughter, some customers rooting for one side, while others were simply stunned by the absurd scene.
Luki watched with a mix of shock and amusement, for never in his wildest dreams did he imagine things would escalate this far. Finally, he stood up.
— Hestia-sama, please… calm doWN. — He sighed, wrapping his arms around his goddess's waist to pull her back.
Riveria, equally exasperated, was already one step ahead, advancing with her staff to restrain Loki.
— Loki-sama, stop this now. Do you have any idea how detrimental this is to your image?
But the redhead wasn't about to stop anytime soon. Her fingers dug into Hestia's hair mercilessly, pulling without restraint.
— ONLY IF I CAN RIP OUT A HANDFUL OF THIS SLUT'S HAIR!!! — Loki shouted, eyes wild.
— LUKI-KUN! LET ME GO, LUKI-KN! I'M NOT DONE WITH THIS WRETCH YET!!! — Hestia screamed, struggling to break free, though she was clearly at a disadvantage.
Meanwhile, Luki and Riveria held their respective goddesses firmly. For a brief moment, their eyes met, and something passed between them, not words, but a feeling of camaraderie.
Both let out the same defeated sigh, rolling their eyes.
'Oh, you too? A pleasure to meet you.'
But their brief moment of mutual understanding was shattered by a loud, thunderous sound.
BAM!
All eyes immediately turned toward the kitchen counter, where Mama Mia, the tavern's owner, stood with her fist raised. The impact had cracked the top of the wooden counter, scattering splinters across the room. A thick plume of smoke rose from her fist, as if she had just released all her pent-up rage.
Absolute silence filled the tavern.
— Hey! I don't allow fights in my place! Are you trying to wreck my shop?! — Mama Mia's voice cut through the air with sheer authority. — If you don't want me tossing you through the windows, you'd better calm that temper right now!
'But you're the only one who broke something!' Everyone thought at the same time, looking from the cracked counter to the woman who had just smashed it.
After all, up until that point, neither the goddesses' brawl nor the customers' excitement had caused a single scratch to the establishment.
But Loki and Hestia, still high on adrenaline, weren't about to swallow the scolding so easily. They turned to Mama Mia with wild eyes, still burning with fighting spirit.
Hestia pointed a finger at her:
— Hey! Who do you think you—
— Hah?! And what do you think you're go— Loki began, but…
BAM!
This time, the sound was even louder, and the entire counter collapsed into splinters. Shards of wood flew across the tavern, making some customers duck on instinct. Mama Mia's fist remained buried in what was left of the counter, smoke rising from it as if it were on fire.
The silence became funereal.
— Enough talk. — Her voice was heavier now, no longer a warning but a sentence. — If I hear one more word out of those mouths, I'll grab you both by the collars and throw you into the street myself.
Both goddesses widened their eyes in sync, their faces paling fast. It seemed Mama Mia's threat had hit home.
Hiding their fear and shame behind stiff smiles, the two released each other's hair, hurriedly fixing their clothes and messy locks, each returning to their seats with irritated expressions.
Loki kicked a chair before flopping into it with a grumble, her Familia trailing behind her in silence, heads slightly bowed. Hestia, pouting and still fixing her tangled hair, sat back down and resumed eating as if nothing had happened.
The customers finally exhaled breaths they hadn't realized they were holding, and the tension slowly dissipated. Luki and Riveria sighed in relief before returning to their seats.
Meanwhile, Mama Mia glanced at the wrecked counter and let out a heavy sigh.
— Tch… I'll have to fix that later.
Without another word, she returned to the kitchen, leaving behind two goddesses who now knew exactly how far they could go before being tossed out the window.
…
The mood at Luki and Hestia's table was heavy. The young elf clearly didn't know where to look, uncomfortable under the piercing glare of his goddess, who seemed like she wanted to burn a hole through him with sheer frustration. She muttered under her breath while stabbing her fork into the pasta as if she were murdering someone.
— Stupid Luki-kun… — she growled, grinding her teeth before shoving another bite into her mouth.
Luki hesitated, feeling he should say something.
— Uhm… Hestia-sama?
— Don't call me that! — She slammed her fork on the table and pointed at him. — Call me Miss Hestia! I'm still mad at you! Hmph! Stupid, idiotic Luki-kun!
She shouted in a half-contained tone so as not to disturb the other customers.
— Argh… Miss Hestia? Angry?
— "Am I angry?" OF COURSE I'M ANGRY! Why didn't you take my side?! You were supposed to help me finish off that ironing board! You're my Child, so act like it!
Luki said nothing, simply crossing his fingers into an X and then raising one finger, twirling it in the air.
— No fiGHting. — He pointed around. — Someone else's HOUse.
Hestia frowned, puffing out her cheeks.
— Even so, you should have been on my side! Now I got scolded by Mama Mia in front of everyone, including that rusty gate of a Loki! This is all your fault, stupid, idiotic, traitor Luki-kun!
Without hesitation, she kicked Luki's shin under the table.
The elf only forced an awkward smile. In a way, Hestia wasn't completely wrong, being part of her Familia, he should have supported her, even if she was wrong. But no one, not even him, expected the two goddesses to end up rolling on the floor pulling each other's hair like children fighting over a toy. It all happened too fast for him to react.
And in the end, they were in a private establishment. The wrong ones were them, not Mama Mia for telling them off.
As he pondered, an irritating voice cut through his thoughts.
— Hmph, this was only to be expected from you. — Loki smirked, sipping from her mug. — Can't even discipline your own Familia.
Hestia slammed her hand on the table.
— Hmph, look who's talking! Those kids of yours, who've been with you for who knows how many years, didn't even care to help you! Guess they're not that loyal after all. I pity you, Loki.
Loki raised a brow.
— Hmph, at least I have a big and wealthy Familia. I don't need to live in a crumbling church.
Hestia clenched her fists.
— Hmph, at least I've got J-cup— wait, I mean, at least I have breasts, unlike a certain walking ironing board!
— You milk cow! — Loki slammed her mug on the table. — Hmph, I won't waste my saliva on someone like you. I have better things to do, like celebrating the arrival of a new talented daughter into my Familia.
— You stick-bug! — Hestia shot back, puffing out her chest. — Hmph, I won't lower myself to childish bickering either! I've got more important things to do, like having a date with my only child, who is far more handsome and talented than all of your kids combined!
— Hmph!
— Hmph!
Both goddesses turned away at the same time, crossing their arms and pouting in an act of absolute maturity.
Meanwhile, the Familia members not used to this kind of scene, including Luki, were left slack-jawed.
'How come, Loki? You said you wouldn't waste your time on someone beneath you, but YOU were the one who started the conversation.'
'Hestia, you said you wouldn't lower yourself, but not only did you answer, you made sure to craft an entire counterargument before sulking like a child…'
Also, it was funny how, despite the restaurant being relatively empty, Loki had chosen to sit at the only table right next to Hestia, in the seat directly beside her.
And meanwhile, Hestia, who had just fought with her, hadn't bothered to move away and even kept answering her provocations.
It was obvious that, despite acting like this, the two were actually friends, but apparently neither of them wanted to admit it.
— Sigh (This night is going to be long…) — he muttered, before shoving another forkful of pasta into his mouth.
'Uhm, tasty, but missing the tiny bits of cockroach from a regular industrial tomato sauce and that inherent pesticide aftertaste in the basil… but the pasta itself is the same.' he thought, before going back to eating.