CHAPTER 7
When Jay heard his father say, "I'm going to war," what was once happiness turned to sadness. A fear of losing his father, mixed with a deep sorrow, welled up inside him. He wanted to beg him not to go, but Jay knew it was pointless.
'I can't ask Poul not to go to war. After all, he's a hero, a captain,' Jay thought, clenching his fist. He couldn't even look his own father in the face.
Poul had anticipated his son's reaction, so he planned a diversion to help him accept the news better. "Jay, get ready. You've been discharged."
Jay nodded, turning his head away. He got up from his bed, grabbed his clothes, and went to change. As he was dressing, Poul ran into his friend Luis, who was out of breath from running.
"Did you run all the way here?"
"Of course! Jay's been discharged, and we're going to reward him with something he loves. Is there a bookstore nearby that's open?" Luis asked, placing a hand on his chin.
"That's a good question, Luis. I wonder if there is," Poul replied. The two were deep in thought until a young girl with white hair, accompanied by an elegant man with blonde hair and a beard, caught their attention.
When she spotted Poul talking to Luis, she walked toward them. When she reached Poul, she said with a certain joy, "Sir Hero, you said you were going to tell Jay that he's been discharged, didn't you?"
"Yes, Santa Clarice. I've already told my son that he's been discharged," he replied. Santa Clarice gave him a cheerful smile.
'Oh, we're going to buy books. How wonderful! It'll be me, his sister, his friend, and him—so many genuine people in one place. What joy,' Santa Clarice thought, overflowing with happiness.
Meanwhile, Jay was getting dressed, gritting his teeth in frustration. His fear of losing someone he loved and who had always taken care of him made his heart pound. He broke out in a cold sweat as images of his father's death, one after another, each a different and brutal end, flashed through his mind. Anxiety hit him hard, and he knelt and curled up. He had only put on his pants.
Suddenly, he heard the voice of Roh.
"What a pathetic scene you're making," Roh said and laughed. He then stared deep into Jay's soul. "You're a complete hypocrite. You killed two people and took them from their families, destroying those families in the process. And now..." He looked at Jay with a cold gaze. Jay closed and opened his teary eyes, taking a deep breath. "...you're begging your father not to go to war for fear of losing him?! What a hypocrite you are, Jay."
Those words struck Jay, wounding his heart once again. He fell into a pensive state.
'What he said is true. I'm a hypocrite who should become a slave so I can pay for my sins. I'm a murderer. Yes, I really should become a slave to the ice.' Ice formed in his hand, and Jay felt a thread of ice entering his hand and climbing up his entire arm.
Roh gave a dark and cheerful smile, seeing his vessel curled up on the floor with the ice entering his body, accepting that he would become a slave to the ice. Then, someone broke the flow, calling his name.
"Jay! Are you ready yet?" The voice was feminine and, to the boy, felt like family.
With the flow broken, the ice stopped growing in his body. Jay got up and looked around, but saw and heard nothing. Roh, in turn, clicked his tongue in frustration.
With a malicious smile, Roh thought, 'Next time, you won't have that voice to help you, Jay. So I'll make you my slave next time.'
Jay quickly put on and buttoned his shirt, leaving the room. As he was about to exit, he saw a bit of ice on his hand in a mirror. Seeing it, he turned pale and frightened.
"W-was that r-real?!" Jay wondered if what he had just witnessed and felt was real. He was already taking too long to leave the room, so with no choice, he covered his hand that was "infected" or taken over by the ice.
He opened the door and saw his family. He forced a smile with an empty, lifeless look. They were surprised by his delay. Jay apologized, and they headed to the bookstore.
'He's acting strange. Before, his smile was light as a flower, and now it's heavy as a rock. He's hiding something,' Santa Clarice thought. She approached Jay as if it were the most natural thing in the world and began to analyze the attitudes and behaviors of her first friend.
Upon reaching the bookstore, Noa and Jay went to the section with action books. Santa wanted to go with them, but Kyrai stopped her.
"No way. I'm afraid of what you'll find out about them if you go with them!" Kyrai said with an expression that showed she knew exactly what would happen.
"But we were supposed to choose a book together!"
"And we will, just not right now," Kyrai said, raising her hand to her face and winking with her left eye. "You get it?"
Clarice looked disappointed.
"I'm going to go check on them before they do something stupid," Mary said, walking toward them.
Kyrai and Clarice simply nodded.
While Mary went after the two "troublemakers," a crowd gathered outside the bookstore due to the King of the humans, who had made the bookstore a private space for Poul and Luis's families. Royal knights pushed back anyone who wanted to enter, allowing only those already inside to remain. (Even being a Saint for humans and elves, Santa Clarice suffers from prejudice because of her elven species. The elves consider themselves superior to any other species, have a strong economy with almost no poverty, and are the only species able to use any type of magic without limitation. They really are superior and the most hated). The King gave speeches to the crowd to calm them down, while Poul and Luis simply watched the royal knights push away the king's detractors.
"Luis!" Poul called out to his friend, who was distracted by the crowd trying to grab the King and demanding more security, among other things.
"Yes, Poul?"
"Well, I want you to take care of my son," Poul said, turning his head to his friend. "Because I'm going to war in a few days. So," Poul sighed, "please take care of him. Do the job I can't do."
Luis smiled. "Of course I'll take care of him. I'm already doing your job, Mr. Jealousy."
"Mr. Jealousy? What did you say, you piece of trash!" Poul said, irritated.
Luis laughed. "Well, I'm glad you can trust me, Poul. I was starting to think you didn't trust me."
Poul looked at Luis, confused. He had always trusted him. "But I've always trusted you, you idiot."
"Well, it didn't seem like it." A wind came and rustled both Luis's and Poul's hair. At that moment, Poul noticed something dark in his friend, as his black hair swayed. Poul realized that his friend would do anything to protect the ones he loved, even kill someone.
"Luis, you... you've killed someone?"
"Why the question, Poul?"
"Just out of curiosity."
"Ah, I see. So, to answer your question, yes, I have killed people. I killed to protect the ones I love." He looked at Poul with a dark gaze. "That's my justice, Poul."
Poul looked at his friend and realized they were not the same. They had almost the same idea of justice, but applied it in different ways. With the same dark look, Luis said, "Do you have something against my justice, Poul?"
Poul looked down and then looked at his friend. "No, I'm no different from you."
Luis, surprised by his friend's answer, simply smiled, and they continued their conversation.
Meanwhile, Jay walked with Noa and Mary, running his hand over the book spines on the shelf, reading the titles and author names. But something felt wrong to him. Something felt strange.
'How strange. Where did all my excitement go? The excitement I used to have for buying new books,' he thought, looking at the books on the shelf with his empty, lifeless eyes. 'I'm going back to who I was in my past life, with no excitement for anything. I've lost all my interests. Even in this world, where my only interest was reading, it's all going away.' Jay smiled sarcastically. 'How funny.'
Mary looked at Jay with a worried expression. She saw his strange behavior and grew frustrated. She clenched her hand.
'He's acting strange. He wouldn't behave like this around books; he's a reading fanatic, fascinated by stories about this world. I'm going to make him talk to me about this,' Mary thought with confidence.
Noa's eyes were shining in contrast to Jay's. For the first time, Jay's gaze was lifeless. Jay picked up a book that caught his attention and sat down on the floor to read. As he read, Noa looked at the same book and didn't find it very interesting.
'Why is he interested in a book with a slightly melancholic cover?' he thought, looking at the cover and then at his friend.
"Hey, Jay, I'm going to look at that section over there. So far, nothing has surpassed 'Tb,' that masterpiece." When he said 'Tb,' Noa clenched his hand, and tears ran down his face. "Are you coming?"
Jay stopped reading and looked at his friend. "No, you can go. I'm going to read this."
Accepting his answer, Noa simply turned and went to look at the books. He sighed. 'I wanted to browse with you, like we always did. As friends. This might disappoint me a little, but what can I do? Let's go see if there's anything that comes close to 'Tb'.'
Jay went back to reading, while Mary had to go after Noa to make sure he found a quiet corner and stayed put. Jay was left alone to read.
'The story is interesting. I can see myself in the protagonist. In short, I liked this book. I'll read a little more of this work.' After thinking this, he got up to get another volume of the book when he felt someone watching him. He turned his head in that person's direction and was impressed by what he saw.
"Saint?! What are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to be with that 'disgrace'?"
"'Disgrace'?! Are you referring to Kyrai?" the Saint asked.
"Yes, I'm referring to her."
The Saint laughed a little and seemed embarrassed. "Well, I got interested in a book and got lost from Kyrai, you know. So my being here is a pure coincidence."
Jay put his hand behind his head and agreed with her. "It's almost the same with me."
Clarice was surprised by what Jay said. She looked at the book Jay had picked up and noticed a melancholic tone on the cover, which seemed to match his mood at that moment.
'The book in my hand is the complete opposite of his. Mine is happier, it has happiness. His book is melancholic, it has a sad tone, and there's no hope in it. If there's a glimmer of hope, he'll grab it and protect it as if it were his life,' she thought.
"What are you reading?" she asked with a smile of feigned interest.
"How Can I Be Happy? That's what I'm reading."
"Can I read with you?"
'Please say yes, say yes, just say yes, Jay,' the Saint thought desperately.
Jay turned to the Saint and said, "I guess so."
The Saint immediately rejoiced at Jay's answer.
As Jay sat down, she sat beside him, and the two began to read their respective books. At times, the Saint would point out an interesting part of her book, and Jay would do the same.
"Jay!"
"What?"
"The main character, he looks a little like you, doesn't he?" Clarice asked, curious to know what he thought about it.
"It's true, he does look like me."
'For some reason, I want to talk more with this girl,' Jay thought, curious about his own desire to speak more with Clarice.
Afterward, Clarice finished her book and stood up.
'For some reason, I feel that my moment of happiness ends here!' Jay thought, a little disappointed.
She went to the volumes of the book he was reading, picked up the first volume, returned to her spot, and began to read it.
Jay was impressed by the girl's attitude. His eyes widened, and he felt happy about what Clarice was doing. With a genuine smile, he returned to reading his book. Clarice, not noticing Jay's smile, simply continued reading "How Can I Be Happy?"
After a while, Jay felt something touching his shoulder. It was the beautiful girl with white hair, taking a nap on his shoulder. Jay smiled again and went back to reading his book. After a while, he looked at the book she had been reading when he first saw her.
'Why don't I read this book? It might be good, right?' So he read it.
He read the girl's book until she woke up, a little dazed.
'Did I fall asleep?' she thought as she looked around, realizing she had slept on Jay's shoulder. Blushing and embarrassed, she quickly regained her composure.
"Wake up, sleepyhead?" Jay asked in a teasing tone.
"I... I just slept a little, okay! Idiot," Santa Clarice said, her face red with embarrassment.
Jay let out a light laugh, not forced, but completely natural.
'I managed to ease his pain! Thank goodness I did. I managed to transform his smile from one that was heavy as a rock to one that was light as a feather.'
Without realizing it, Clarice gave a smile of pure happiness.
Seeing this smile, Jay's eyes widened. He was surprised by what he saw; he saw hope in her.
'She can be my hope and my shelter. She must never abandon me or leave me.' Jay hugged her and began to release the tears he had been holding back. 'She is my light.'
The Saint simply consoled him.