The kids exchanged glances. Uncertain.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm a Keeper. Nothing will happen to me," I lied, trying to reassure them.
My voice trembled, but I acted like that was how it was meant to sound.
"Let's do it like this: Lily, you go first. Kay, then hit me with water, just in case, to put out the fire. And you, Lian... finish me off with mud. I want to feel completely awful."
"Why do you need that?" Lily finally spoke up. Curious.
"I believe that if I end up in a stressful situation, maybe something will come back to me," my voice grew more confident.
As if my plan were foolproof.
I stood.
My knees trembled slightly, from fear or determination, I didn't know.
My body tightened, focused into a single point. Ready to take every blow.
Lily formed a small sphere in her hand, effortlessly, and threw it at my shoulder. It just grazed me.
I felt a burn. Manageable. Even somewhat soft.
I'd seen how they attacked Eiron. This wasn't that.
It felt like she was holding back. Pitying me.
"Lily, don't be afraid. And don't pity me. Just attack. Right here," I pointed to the center of my chest and tensed again.
She stepped into a proper stance. Something in her clicked. Her gaze sharpened, focused.
She began forming more spheres, one after another, flaring them into her palms.
Just a bit more focus, and both spheres shot forward.
Full strength.
Straight into my chest.
A searing pain lanced through me, all the way down to my heels, like a red-hot nail driven into my chest and stretching burning tendrils down into the bone.
My body ignited. The burn spread inward, beneath the skin, into every cell.
But my clothes didn't catch fire.
"Kay..." I whispered. Barely a breath. Like a prayer. Hoping he would douse the flames.
"Are you sure?" he asked, noticing the pain flash across my face.
For the first time, his usual enthusiasm seemed to fade.
"Yes. Just hit the same spot," I tried to stay upright. Tried not to show how the burning had already spread through me.
They couldn't actually kill me... right? The thought flickered through.
No answer.
Kay focused a large water sphere and hurled it at me, faster than Lily.
I expected cold. Relief.
But the water struck hard. Heavy.
Right in the same spot.
The pain went deeper.
I dropped to my knees. A short cry escaped my throat.
I clenched my teeth. I had to find the limit.
"Lian..." I breathed. Almost voiceless.
"I'm not sure..." his voice trembled. They were scared.
"It's okay. I can take it. Just... caught me off guard," I lied again.
From the outside, their attacks had looked simple. Childish.
But in truth, even this kind of magic could hurt.
I braced for Lian's strike.
Felt the earth give way beneath me.
I was sinking, not just my feet.
Something inside dragged me downward, heavy, thick.
My stomach turned to stone, my arms filled with lead.
I collapsed.
Caught myself on my palms in the mud, one knee pressing into the ground.
"That's enough!" Lily shouted.
But I closed my eyes. Listened inward.
Something. Anything. A spark.
But nothing.
Only pain. And weight.
Get angry, Bian, I commanded myself. Silently.
But there was no answer.
Inside me, nothing at all. No trace of anything special. No flicker of memory.
Empty.
The pain slowly began to fade.
I stood, filthy, soaked.
My skin still burned from the inside, like something was smoldering deep beneath the surface.
"You okay?" Kay asked. His face showed worry. Genuine concern.
"I'm fine. You kids are really strong. You surprised me," I tried to speak calmly, as if nothing had happened. I began brushing off the mud and walked toward the river to wash my hands.
"You really are strong. I'm sure when you grow up, you'll become outstanding mages."
After rinsing my hands, I came back to them. They seemed to have calmed down.
"Of course we are!" Kay replied proudly, voice full of spark. He stepped closer. Very close.
"I was thinking... When I grow up, I'll marry you."
I froze.
Marry?
"What?!" I flared, nearly laughing from the absurdity.
"You know we age slower. When I grow up, you'll still look young. After twenty-eight, we all look pretty much the same," he said seriously.
Behind him, Lian giggled without holding back.
"So... you'll be my wife. You don't have a choice." He poked a finger at me and repeated, like casting a spell:
"You're my future wife. Remember that."
Lily rolled her eyes, with a long sigh, like an older sister hearing some worn-out nonsense.
And Lian stepped up. Almost defiantly.
"Kay, you don't stand a chance. She'll be my wife. I'm sure. One hundred percent. She'll choose me."
I looked at them, and smiled. Completely stunned.
Two ten-year-old boys were seriously arguing about who I'd marry.
And then... a laugh burst from my chest.
Light. Alive.
As if everything inside had turned warm again.
As if there'd been no pain at all.
"What's going on here?" came a cold, sharp woman's voice from behind. Military.
I froze.
Adel.
One word was all I needed to recognize her.
The kids' eyes lit up with pure joy. I didn't even get a chance to turn around.
"No way," Kay and Lian said in unison, jaws dropping.
"Children, are you bullying the High Mage's personal Keeper?" she asked sternly. Her voice, icy. Direct.
But the boys didn't seem to take her all that seriously.
Even Lily looked at her with admiration. Like an idol.
No surprise. A mini Adel.
I was just about to turn, to say something, to start explaining,
But she beat me to it.
"Defend yourselves!" Adel barked. Harsh. No warning.
I turned abruptly in confusion.
Both her hands were already glowing silver.
What?
Fear rushed into my head like a cold wind.
She wasn't seriously going to attack the kids?
I glanced at them, they were already in fighting stances.
Focused. Ready.
Like they'd been waiting for it.
"Are you serious?" I breathed, not believing what I was seeing.
Thin streams of water zipped into the kids' clothes. Swift. Almost playful.
They dodged and answered with their own magic, spheres, bursts, flashes.
But Adel...
She moved across the field like a panther. Sharp. Precise.
Leaping over puddles, slipping past strikes.
Water, fire, mud, it all merged into a single dance.
And she led it.
I stood aside. Didn't interfere.
Adel dodged with ease, like she was playing an old, well-practiced game with them.
And the kids... laughed. Loudly. Honestly.
Their palms glowed, water splashed, fire soared, mud exploded across the field, and they just kept throwing magic at each other, fiercely, like they were racing, counting points. Their eyes, full of joy.
I watched.
And felt something inside soften.
Melt.
Just a little while ago, they'd been tense, focused.
Now, just kids. Playing. Testing their power.
I envied them.
Without sadness.
Just... envy.
Their lightness.
And then, lifting her hands in front of her, Adel began to glow brighter.
The kids, mouths agape, watched as she raised a small wave from the river and drenched them from head to toe.
They screamed with delight and clapped their hands.
I didn't even notice it was already evening.
Bathed in golden-red light, everything around looked simple. Almost homey.
And in that moment, I suddenly forgot that somewhere nearby, there was another world.
Not a child's world.
A bloody one.
I think I understood what Ada meant this morning.
"Kids, return the field to normal," Adel ordered, turning to me.
"And you'd better change. It's getting dark."
Her voice was firm. But not sharp like before.
There was a hint, time for me to go inside.
I said goodbye to the kids and headed to my room.
Crossing the training field, I suddenly caught myself thinking:
If Adel is here, then Blake's probably back too.
At that thought, my legs picked up speed on their own. Toward the room.
I nearly ran into the lounge, but no one was there.
The door to his bedroom was still open. I peeked inside, empty.
I walked closer. Pressed my ear to the bathroom door. Silence.
Disappointed, I walked over to the dresser and opened the second drawer. Empty.
A quiet sadness crept in. Not dramatic. Just, a misplaced heaviness.
I quickly shook it off.
"No time for moping," I muttered under my breath and went to the bathroom.
I needed to clean up before dinner.
I waited till the very last moment, hoping Blake would show up.
I'd deliberately avoided going down for dinner, afraid I might miss him.
But dinner came and went.
Evening crept closer.
The bell rang nine times in the distance.
He wasn't coming.
I went down to the kitchen. My appetite was already gone.
The emptiness inside echoed with every step.
Ada had already left, but as always, she'd left a meal for me, covered with a cloth so it wouldn't get cold.
I silently thanked her.
Still didn't touch it.
In the quiet, while she was gone, I looked for hot water.
I just wanted, tea.
And then the door opened.
I flinched.
Like a replay of an old scene. Familiar. Already happened.
A knight walked in.
I tensed, suddenly, instinctively.
But when I looked closer, I exhaled. Relieved.
It was Eiron.
"Hey," he greeted, warmly, as always.
"Hey," I replied, not hiding my relief.
He stepped inside and closed the door behind him.
We sat in the kitchen.
It was the first time since I'd woken up that Eiron and I were alone.
No orders. No watching eyes.
Just... like we were regular acquaintances.
"I saw you by the river," he said, like confessing something embarrassing.
"You looked... more alive."
He said it so simply.
But the words struck.
I touched my cheek, unexpectedly self-conscious.
A compliment. A real one.
Not an order. Not a lecture. Not formal politeness.
Just warm words from someone who had truly looked at me.
"They gave me a bit more freedom," I answered softly.
"I was ordered not to speak about that time," he reminded me.
I knew what he meant.
He knew too, who I was. Or who I might be.
"I know. I'm not really supposed to say much either.
Or be myself, if we're being honest," I gave a bitter smile.
He reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. Gently.
I froze.
That gesture, too personal.
Too warm.
I stood up abruptly.
"Tea?" I exhaled.
As if brushing away everything that had just thickened the air between us.
He smiled.
His smile, so warm.
Too sincere.
"I'm on watch tomorrow. At the Western Gate. Near the Keeper's Tower.
Have you ever seen the sunset from that side?"
"Just the river," I replied and nearly dropped the kettle.
Damn awkwardness.
Everything inside buzzed, because of him, because of me, because of this ridiculous sincerity.
"Sit. I'll help," he said calmly.
He took the kettle, poured the tea, and started rummaging through Ada's drawers, searching for supplies.
I sat quietly, fidgeting with the hem of my sleeve, occasionally brushing my cheek.
Hoping the redness wasn't too obvious.
He'd been kind to me from the very first day.
Not as if I were chosen.
Not as if I were suspicious.
As if I were a person.
I liked that.
Too much.
He set the cups on the table.
I took a careful sip, and immediately winced. Too hot.
"Blow on it," he said gently. "Still burns."
"Why do you carry three swords?" I asked, glancing at the ones on his back.
That question had been itching for a while, but always felt too personal to ask.
But now... everything felt oddly soft. Even us.
"Two are enough for combat," he said, unbuckling his belt and carefully laying the weapons on the bench.
"The third... is a spare. If someone on the field loses their sword, I give mine. Or if mine gets knocked away.
I carry it always, so I don't forget their weight."
He scratched the back of his head and suddenly lowered his gaze.
For the first time, uncertain.
"I probably look intimidating with them."
"Not at all," I replied, a little softer than I intended. "With them you... look noble."
He froze.
Slowly looked at me.
In his eyes, not surprise, but a flicker of shock, like he wasn't used to hearing things like that.
Or hadn't expected it from me.
I immediately buried my face in the cup, pretending the tea was the most important thing in the world right now.
My face burned.
Why did I even say that?
Why, out loud?
I took another sip.
The taste, strange. Sweet, but with a hint of sour.
Almost like fruit juice. Just too warm.
Not like regular tea.
But I drank, just to do something.
Hiding in the motion.
Hiding, from him.
"You're Gifted, right?" I asked, just to change the subject.
He nodded.
"Yes. I was blessed at birth."
"Then why not a Blessed?" I looked at him, recalling Nimor's lectures.
"You could've had a much greater gift. Why weren't you given a crystal?"
"My body wouldn't have survived it," he leaned his elbows on the table, speaking calmly.
"Some are born unfit to bond with a crystal. I had a weak heart. Unstable nervous system. I would've died."
"And they just... gifted you?"
"Yes. They enhanced my body.
Gave me endurance, speed, strength.
Everything I lacked."
He smiled slightly.
"Sometimes I think magic fills what we're missing."
He stood and squared his shoulders.
Then bent his arms at the elbows, showing off his muscles, like a boy bragging after training.
"Look at me now.
Who'd believe I was born fragile?"
I tried to smile. But couldn't.
Out of nowhere, heat surged through my veins.
Not just warmth, heat.
Strong. Heavy. Thick.
I blinked. Again.
He was handsome.
Even more, he was strength, standing right in front of me.
Confident. Sincere. Alive.
And I couldn't look away.
The heat spread, slipped lower.
My head felt swollen from within.
Thoughts tangled.
And then, something heavy dropped into my stomach.
Hot. Too hot.
He returned to the table and sat beside me again.
Leaning forward to take his tea, and suddenly looked straight into my eyes.
"Are you okay? You... you're burning up."
And it was true.
I felt like I was on the edge.
But not from desire. Not from passion.
My body pulsed beneath the skin.
He touched my cheek.
And that's when I realized.
Nothing.
No shiver. No spark.
Only, wrong.
Like a touch from the wrong person.
Discomfort.
I pulled away. Not sharply.
But enough for him to notice.
"I'm fine..." I muttered.
But my voice trembled.
No.
Everything wasn't fine.
Everything inside, was melting.
I stood up, and it felt like my legs weren't mine.
As if someone had lit a fire beneath my skin, and with each step, it only spread further.
"I'll go to my room," I managed to say.
My voice came out rough, hoarse.
Even my tongue felt too warm inside my mouth.
I stepped out of the kitchen and quickly made my way to the spiral staircase.
The heat kept sinking deeper.
I could feel the sweat running down my spine, the fabric of my robe clinging to my skin.
I wanted to strip everything off, be naked, in cold water. Or in black nothingness.
Fifth step. Seventh. Tenth.
My heart pounded like it wanted to burst free.
Everything inside me felt wrong. Twisted.
My senses distorted, as if someone from within was peeling away reality, and beneath it, only fire.
I was almost crawling upward, teeth clenched.
Lower and lower, the heat spread.
It settled in my thighs, my stomach, the deepest parts of me I tried never to feel.
And the higher I climbed, the worse it got.
Then, a voice. One single voice.
Familiar. Bone-deep:
"Bian."
I turned.
Blake.
He was standing one step below me. In full armor. As if he'd just returned.
His eyes, soft.
His voice, full of concern. The kind I didn't know.
"Are you alright?"
He stepped closer, reached out, and gently touched my face.
And I nearly screamed.
Not from pain.
Because it wasn't him.
The touch didn't bring desire.
Didn't bring comfort.
Only, rejection.
A sharp, visceral wrongness.
Like someone was touching me through a glove made of someone else's mind.
I stepped back.
Onto the landing, as if it could save me.
"Don't touch me," I hissed.
My voice cracked, broken and rasping.
He froze.
He looked... confused.
But everything in me screamed: not him.
Not him.
NOT HIM.
He took another step forward, slow, careful.
"Bian, I just want to help you..."
And suddenly, another voice.
From the opposite staircase.
Sharp. Clear. Real:
"Bian!"
I turned.
On the other landing stood... Blake.
No armor.
In casual clothes.
His face, not gentle.
Not falsely warm.
His eyes, hard. Alert.
The way I knew him.
The way he was supposed to be.
I froze.
The world tilted beneath my feet.
Two Blakes stood before me.
And one of them,
was a lie.