"Hahaha… Look at you! Begging for mercy at your age, afraid of your big sister? That's killing me! "
Tenjirō Kirinji threw his head back and laughed, thoroughly enjoying the sight of Yūshirō pleading.
"You shut up too! "
Yoruichi lifted her head and glared at Tenjirō. Her wild, untamed eyes burned—not just with killing intent, but something beyond that. Her gaze glowed scarlet, almost radiating light!
"Uh…"
Tenjirō stiffened as that murderous aura pierced through him. A chill ran down his spine. At that moment, the woman before him didn't look like some noble heiress here for training—she felt like a Vasto Lorde-level Hollow. No, something even more terrifying.
For the first time, the proud Royal Guard bowed his head to someone outside Division Zero.
"…My apologies."
"Pfft—"
Yūshirō covered his mouth, snickering at Tenjirō's humiliation.
"You've got it rough too, huh, Yūshirō? "
Ignoring the mockery, Tenjirō shot him a pitying glance.
"Cut the crap. I'm leaving my sister in your hands, Mr. One-Second Man."
"Watch your mouth! I admit I'm the fastest man in Soul Society—hell, all three realms—but I'm no one-second wonder. I'm the type who looks frail but can go all night."
Tenjirō slammed the gas pedal on that joke without hesitation.
"Hahahaha!"
Yūshirō roared with laughter, then fired back full throttle:
"Funny how a guy stuck in the Royal Guard, where there aren't any women, still manages to look so worn out. First I've ever seen! "
"Ha! Who said there aren't women? What, you discriminating against Ōetsu Nimaiya? Against his Zanpakutō Maid Squad? Are you saying Zanpakutō spirits turned human don't count as people? That's racism! I'll report you to Central 46! Besides, those girls—cute, refined, obedient—they'd put any noble harem to shame. Don't tell me you wouldn't want that? "
Tenjirō's words rattled out like machine-gun fire.
"You're literally a pervert drooling over dolls you crafted yourself! Can you even call yourself a Shinigami? No—you're a disgrace. The only reason they dumped you in the Royal Guard isn't because you're exceptional—it's because the rest of Soul Society ran out of places to stash freaks like you! "
Yūshirō's comeback hit like a bullet storm.
"Look who's talking. We're birds locked in a cage up here, but you—little Shihōin monster—you're just a bird in a ground-level cage. There's no point in comparing sizes, right? "
"No point at all. That'd be way too vulgar."
Yūshirō nodded solemnly. For once, they agreed.
"Ahahaha!"
"Hahahaha!"
The two burst out laughing together.
"Die, both of you! Sick freaks! "
Yoruichi's face darkened. She grabbed Yūshirō and hurled him like a human projectile.
Boom!
Yūshirō's head slammed into Tenjirō's stomach. The two men vanished from sight, crashing into the training grounds in a blast of dust.
"Yoruichi! That was your brother—and a Royal Guard! "
Urahara's jaw dropped.
"The Shihōin Clan doesn't breed perverts! "
Yoruichi huffed, clenching her tiny fists. This was all her fault—she'd let her brother get corrupted!
"Little lady… that temper of yours. With that attitude, you'll never find a husband."
A voice chimed in behind them.
"When—?"
Yoruichi and Urahara stiffened. They hadn't even sensed him arrive. That meant his flash step was beyond their ability to track.
"Don't look so shocked. They used to call me Thunderclap Tenjirō for a reason. This speed's nothing."
Tenjirō grinned, basking in their awe. His pride was glowing brighter than his pompadour.
"Thunderclap, huh? "
Yoruichi's eyes sharpened.
"First time hearing that? " Urahara blinked. "I figured you'd know all these guys."
"This is my first time inside the Royal Guard's inner sanctum," Yoruichi replied. "Usually I just drop Yūshirō off at the Outer Path and leave."
"Ah, makes sense."
Urahara nodded. He'd thought training with Division Zero was a common privilege for the great noble clans. Clearly, this opportunity was far rarer than he imagined.
"The Royal Guard is way more complex than you think," Tenjirō said, cutting through Urahara's thoughts. "Every one of us is a master among masters. You think we've got time to babysit? "
"Then I'd better make the most of this chance."
Urahara's eyes hardened, his usual grin fading.
"Haha… I'd love to play with you, kid—but your opponent isn't me. My job is to train Yoruichi."
Tenjirō smirked. He could feel Urahara's eagerness—the hunger to challenge Division Zero, to see the gap between them—but a promise was a promise.
"Wait—what about me? There's only one Royal Guard here."
Urahara blinked, confused.
"Your opponent…"
A voice whispered at his ear, and a hand clamped onto his shoulder.
"…is me."
"Uraharaaa~"
A black shadow loomed over him, wearing the grin of a comic-book villain.
"Yūshirō?!"
Cold sweat rolled down Urahara's forehead.
PS: Read Advance Chapters at https://www.patreon.com/c/Shinazuki