[A/N]: Early chapter cause I'll be out for the next two days.
The next goal for a bonus chapter is a whopping 500 power stones! It seems tough, but I believe you guys will achieve it by the time I'm back!!
All six mercenaries nodded like their heads were on springs.
Jay dropped his mirage.
The effect was instant.
Deadpool and Slapstick launched themselves at him like fans spotting their idol at Comic-Con.
"OH MY GOD!" Slapstick bounced around, eyes literally popping out on springs before snapping back with a BOING. "You're him! The guy who made Doom look like a complete amateur! Can I get your autograph? Please?"
Deadpool was already pulling out a katana. "Holy shit on a cracker! Sign this beauty! After watching you work that blade against Doom like you were conducting a symphony of violence, I got inspired." He paused. "Okay, I practiced for like twenty minutes. But that's three hours in Deadpool time."
"And your revenge!" Slapstick's jaw literally dropped to the floor with a THUD before he yanked it back up. "Pure psychological warfare! Like Bugs Bunny directing John Wick! Absolute fucking artistry!"
Machine Man and Gorilla Man stepped forward before things could spiral further.
"Perhaps we should be more respectful," Aaron Stack said diplomatically. Translation: please don't get us killed.
Jay held up a hand. Something about these two was pinging his senses.
"Tell me something." His tone was casual, but his eyes were sharp. "Do either of you ever feel like you're being watched? Like there's some kind of... audience observing your lives from outside reality?"
Both mercenaries froze.
Deadpool's mask somehow conveyed absolute terror. Slapstick turned pale white.
"We don't know what you're talking about!" Deadpool's voice jumped three octaves. "Nobody's watching us! There's definitely no one reading about our adventures while procrastinating at work!"
"Right!" Slapstick jumped in. "And there's certainly no one who might get tired of our meta-humor and decide to write us out faster than Netflix cancels good shows!"
"What story? What fourth wall?" Deadpool laughed frantically, literally sweating bullets that clinked on the floor. "We're just living normal mercenary lives!"
They looked around nervously, waiting for cosmic retribution.
Domino's fist connected with both their heads in a perfect double knockout.
"Ignore them." She stepped over their unconscious forms. "They get weird ideas. Occupational hazard."
Jay decided some mysteries weren't worth pursuing.
"So." Domino shifted back to business mode. "What did Reed say about Slapstick's condition?"
The team's mood turned serious.
"Reed confirmed what the Brussels scientists told us," Aaron Stack replied. "Steven's body is entirely composed of unstable molecules in constant flux. Indestructible, but fundamentally altered on a molecular level."
"Reed was fascinated," Gorilla Man added. "Ran tests like a kid in a candy store. Eventually offered Steven a position at the Baxter Building. Full salary, benefits, all the training he could want."
Jay looked at Slapstick, noting the genuine excitement in his cartoon features.
"If you want, I could help. Give you a mental switch to appear human when needed, turn back to Slapstick when necessary."
Slapstick's expression became uncharacteristically serious.
"No. This is me now. I'm finally unique. Finally special. I have real powers."
Gorilla Man leaned forward. "Are you sure, Steven? This is permanent. Think about dating, job interviews, grocery shopping."
"You know how I felt watching you guys fight Taskmaster while I handled logistics?" Pain leaked through Slapstick's cartoon cheer. "When he captured me, I was helpless. Just a normal kid in over his head, nearly getting everyone killed because I couldn't defend myself."
Jay studied the young man's face. Conviction mixed with barely healed trauma.
"I'm not taking away your uniqueness, kid. I'm offering choice and control."
"And I'm choosing this." Slapstick's cartoon features conveyed absolute determination. "This is who I want to be. Who I need to be."
The team nodded approvingly.
Jay respected that.
"What about Reed's offer?" Masacre asked.
Slapstick's grin returned full force. "Are you kidding? Of course I'm taking it! Working with the Fantastic Four? Learning stretchy cartoon physics from Mr. Fantastic? It's like graduate school for toon force!"
The team patted his back warmly. Like family celebrating success.
"They grow up so fast," Deadpool fake-sobbed, pulling out a handkerchief from under his pants.
Gorilla Man stepped forward hesitantly. "Can you help with my situation?"
Jay studied him, remembering his origin. "I'm sorry, but I can't help permanently."
He tried power suppression, placing a hand on Gorilla Man's arm.
Nothing happened.
The transformation was deeper than biological.
"The curse from killing the previous Gorilla Man in Africa while searching for immortality—that's woven into your soul."
"How did you know?" Kenneth looked surprised.
"Secrets are my bread and butter." Jay's expression grew serious. "Stand still. Let me try something else."
He attempted to disrupt the curse's energy pattern using Sung-il's ability.
For a brief moment, Kenneth flickered to human form.
Middle-aged. Kind eyes. Greying temples. The bearing of someone who'd seen too much.
But the instant Jay removed his hand, the transformation snapped back.
Kenneth stood as Gorilla Man again, looking more defeated after glimpsing his true self.
"I'm sorry. Curses like this are beyond my current abilities." Jay scribbled an address on a napkin. "Try 177A Bleecker Street. They're the experts on mystical problems. Tell them I sent you—they'll listen instead of slamming the door."
Kenneth took the paper like it was made of hope.
"Thank you. Just knowing someone might help... that's more than I've had in years."
Aaron Stack cleared his throat with a sound like a computer rebooting.
"Actually, I have news. Stark was so interested in my mechanical body that he offered me a position as technical assistant. The pay's too good to refuse, plus the upgrades he promised."
"Why didn't you tell us right after the party?" Slapstick looked hurt.
"I didn't want to steal your thunder, Steven. Plus I wanted to make sure Stark's offer was real and not just champagne-fueled ego."
That left three team members.
Hit-Monkey, Masacre, and Deadpool looked at each other uncertainly.
"What's with the long faces?" Domino asked. "We still have the Taskmaster assignment. Don't tell me you're slacking just because the team's changing."
Jay had been considering this since the party.
"Actually, Wade, I have a proposal. Why don't you catch Taskmaster for me instead of your original customer? I'll make it worth your while."
Deadpool tilted his head like a confused puppy. "Look, I may be morally bankrupt human garbage, but I don't screw over customers. That's bad for business, and my reputation's already hanging by a thread."
Jay's smile turned knowing.
"What if I could give you a real incentive? What if you could go back to Vanessa?"
The change in Deadpool was immediate and dramatic.
His usual manic energy drained away. When he spoke, his voice was quiet and serious in a way that shocked his team.
"What the hell are you implying?"
"Go to District X. Look for Callisto, the one with an eye patch and a serious 'don't mess with me' attitude. I'll get you on the priority list."
Deadpool's head snapped up. "Priority list for what?"
"To get your face fixed. There's someone named Masque there. His power is flesh manipulation that makes plastic surgeons look like kids with Play-Doh."
The silence was deafening.
Domino's hand flew to her mouth, remembering Jay's war with the Hellfire Club to rescue Masque.
"Wait." She breathed out the word. "You still have him?"
"He's working off his debt helping Morlocks integrate into normal life. Consider it a signing bonus."
Deadpool's hands shook as he touched his mask.
"You're serious. You could actually fix this? Make me look human instead of a walking PSA against illegal experiments?"
"I just messaged Callisto about your arrival. She'll prioritize your case."
For a moment, Wade Wilson just stood there.
Jay could see hope and fear warring behind his mask. The possibility of restoration. Of mirrors without flinching. Of maybe having a real chance with Vanessa instead of being the monster in her life's shadows.
"You got it, boss." Deadpool's voice was rough with emotion he was trying to hide. "Maximum effort. Come on, you beautiful disasters," he called to Masacre and Hit-Monkey, "the chimichanga trio's going to make Taskmaster regret every life choice!"
He paused with characteristic inappropriate timing.
"And by 'claim his ass,' I mean capture him and definitely not whatever your dirty minds just imagined. Though if someone wants to write that fanfiction, I won't judge. Much."
The team mobilized with professional efficiency.
But Deadpool turned back to Domino with an obvious grin.
"What about you, Domino?"
Before she could answer, Jay's arm slipped around her waist, pulling her against his chest.
"She's on a very private assignment. Sorry, Wade."
The remaining team members burst into teasing grins and suggestive comments.
Hit-Monkey chattered what was clearly approval mixed with innuendo.
Masacre made the sign of the cross. "Children of the Lord, remember... fornication before marriage leads to the fiery pit, but damn if the journey doesn't look fantastic."
Domino's face went bright red as she formed a threatening fist.
"Looks like I didn't discipline you assholes enough earlier."
The teasing stopped immediately. All three snapped to attention.
Jay laughed heartily at the dynamic.
This dysfunctional family of killers somehow worked despite their clashing personalities and traumatic backgrounds. At the center was Domino, keeping them in line through maternal care and credible threats of violence.
"Try not to blow anything up," Domino called as they headed for the door.
"No promises!" Deadpool called back cheerfully. "But we'll try to keep collateral damage minimal! Probably! We'll definitely avoid hospitals and orphanages!"
Then it was just Jay and Domino.
Standing in the suddenly quiet bar. Hands intertwined. Futures stretching ahead like uncharted territory full of possibilities.
After all, they'd already survived the hardest part: finding their way back to each other through all the chaos and world-ending threats that seemed to follow them everywhere.
[A/N]: Let me know if I managed to capture the quirkiness of the team, and whether Deadpool and Slapstick's meta comedy landed the way it should. Did the team dynamics feel right to you? I want to know how it all came across.
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