"Nahh, I don't wanna play around with some things since my interest changes every few days, but I WAN—"
Just as he was about to state his desired system, the godfather raised his palm, signaling him to shut up—and he couldn't even speak anyway.
"Wait, no. Choose from these five options below:
Righteous Heroic System: Do good deeds and get strong through that.
Villainous System: The plain old 'kill the hero, steal the beauty' and get rewards for your loser-ass self.
Virgin System: LOL! The strongest system. One that rewards you immortality as a first gift just to see you masturbate at the age of 1,000,000 in front of a brothel.
Duality System: The oh-so-mighty dual cultivation system that clicks its own tongue if you achieve immortality—because it has to hear the unholy moans of two losers making out.
Netorare System: If you need an introduction to this system, you definitely deserve this system, oh so mis-cultured man."
'Fucking hell… I definitely didn't need those insulting descriptions of the systems. And what's with this limited-ass selection? Aren't all of these trash… oh wait, the Duality System sounds a bit better than the others. At least better than the edgy-ass Villainous System or its counterpart, the stupid hero wannabe bullshit.' Long Tian thought, internally clicking his tongue at the absurdity.
"Give me the Duality System," he said, a smug smile tugging at his lips as he imagined railing those oh-so-mighty jade beauties under his godly rod.
And yes, the moment he chose the Duality System, he had already thought of the world he wanted to go to—THE CULTIVATION WORLD, BABY!
"Sure, sure…" The godfather of systems sighed, having read all of Long Tian's internal monologue. His voice lost all enthusiasm.
"I thought for sure you'd go with either the Virgin System or the Netorare System… sigh, what a pity."
"Okay, let's ignore your unneeded commentary and head straight to the cultivation world." Long Tian grinned—a kind of grin dazzling enough to make any goddess curse her marriage.
"Alright, I take that back. You ain't choosing Jack. You're going where I want you to go," the godfather said, its screen flashing a side-eyed emoji.
"NOOO—"
He got cut off as he disappeared with a poof.
The moment he vanished, the hovering screen—the one that insulted him from the start—transformed into a beautiful woman. The kind that would've had Long Tian immediately shout "JADE BEAUTY!" with unrepentant lust.
"Ah… husband is still the same as he was before his untimely death…" The woman's face flushed a deep crimson as she laid a hand over her mouth, giggling softly in the spot where Long Tian had stood moments ago.
"But I'm glad… I'm glad that you're still yourself… even after thousands of epochs since your ****"
(A/N: One epoch consists of 10 decillion years)
Jade Continent, Ashen Cloud Region
Moonlotus City, Long Clan
Moonlotus City—a city known for its serene lakeside view, so breathtaking that even mortal cultivators and foundation-stage seniors would sit for hours, hoping to attain enlightenment just by gazing upon it.
This was a city ruled by the famed Long Clan—both celebrated for producing monstrous geniuses and infamous for giving birth to a complete dumbass in the current generation's leader: Long Yun's son, Long Tian.
At this moment, inside the Long Clan's central estate, in the luxurious private courtyard of the said young master, stood a maid—boobs massive enough to suffocate a sane man, and an ass that jiggled like it had a mind of its own.
Qing Xao. That was her name. And unfortunately, she was the personal maid of the infamous Long Tian—a certified dumbfuck whose hobbies included slapping her ass and banging prostitutes at the Lotus Brothel down the road.
KnockKnock
"Young Master, it's Qin'er." Her voice was neutral—not warm, not cold. Babysitting him was just part of her job now. That, and surviving his daily bullshit.
Inside the Room
"What the fuck… why the hell did that bastard system send me into the body of a fucking retard?" muttered the man himself—Long Tian—rolling out of bed and tugging at his short, golden hair like it was a noose.
"Fuck… the only thing this motherfucker has over me is his looks and his maid's ass… but why him??" he screamed internally.
It was hell. The body he was in had zero talent for cultivation. His reputation? In the gutter. His life? Basically set to nightmare mode—except, well, not really. He had a system, a rich family, and looks that could make goddesses cheat.
Young Master? Qing Xao's voice rang again, reminding him he had only a few moments to prepare before facing this retard's family circus.
[DING, MISSION ISSUED]
"Damn, a mission already? I just dropped in!" Long Tian cried.
[Mission: Convince the maid outside to dual cultivate with you]
[Reward: Talent Restorement x1, Newbie Gift]
"What?? Why the fuck would you give me a Talent Restorement when I have JACK talent to begin with?"
"And also, isn't a newbie gift supposed to be given without a damn mission?"
Young Master? Are you alright? Her voice came again—this time slightly high-pitched, a hint of worry in it.
Ahem… act like a bastard, act like a bastard, he chanted internally, trying to match the old Long Tian's behavior. He'd seen enough memories to pull it off.
"What the fuck do you want this early in the morning?" he barked, swinging the door open.
There she stood—flushed not from lust, but relief. Because if anything happened to him under her watch, his father—who dearly loved his son—would feed her head to the wolves.
"N-Nothing, Young Master. Qin'er was just worried since you didn't reply after I called twice," she replied, her face gradually returning to neutral.
"Oh… I was just… whatever. I was just jerking off thinking of fucking you."
Fuck! What the hell did I just say?? Was I influenced by this retard's memories?! Kill me now. Long Tian panicked. He'd never spoken to women outside his family—let alone this kinda shit. His only other female interaction had been begging his teacher for grade curves.
"H-Huh, a-ah, I-I remember… I was here to wake you up. S-Since I've done it, I-I will go now—" She spiraled into a mess of words, blushing deep crimson.
Even with all the trash he'd said, she'd never expected that. And with his looks? Yeah. That combo hit hard.
"Ahh~ wha—"
A soft moan escaped her lips as Long Tian casually squished her jiggly, soft ass.
So this is what a real ass feels like… Ah, what a good life I live.
But inside? He was redder than her. Horny and panicking.
"How soft…"
"I-I… I'll take my l-leave," she stammered, vanishing faster than a cultivator using a thousand-step technique.
+10 Lust
+1 DSP (Duality System Points)