"Percy, just calm down! Take deep breaths," I admonished.
"Answer the questions, Jimmy!" the spider squeezed me tighter.
Meanwhile, I was feverishly thinking and weighing up options.
"Tell me, Percy, would you believe me if I told you it was just adrenaline? You know, like your jokes during battle, distracting the enemy and all that. After all, we're related, and as it turns out, we're similar in that way," he tried.to brazenly screw overOutsmart, I mean outsmart my sister. My first decision was to cowardly deny it, blaming all the inconsistencies on the excitement of the fight.
"I don't believe it! You're my twin brother, Jimmy. Do you really think you can lie to my face without risking exposure?!" the spider-woman shattered my flimsy excuses.
I must admit, I didn't expect such a trick from old Jimmy, although I should have. After all, I'd unconsciously adopted his facial expressions and manner of speech, even when I was merging with his consciousness. This had its advantages, for example: it was practically impossible to expose me because of some trivial thing dropped in conversation. But as it turns out, there was a downside.
However, I think Percy vastly overestimates his lie-detector skills, even when it comes to me. After all, Spider-Man's social ineptitude is a given. And his female counterpart, my sister, hasn't escaped this trait from the original.
So all I need to do is give Percy a convincing version of events. Playing dumb won't work; my sister made it clear that won't work. So I need to stop denying the obvious and admit I'm straight. The only question is how to do it without the spider finding fault.
There were two options: the first was to blame it all on old Jimmy, claiming his gayness was either an additional challenge to society, on top of his masculinity, and reinforced his marginality. Or his change of orientation was a teenage experiment with his own identity. Such things were supposedly common in the America of my past, although it's hard to say for sure. But I've heard of such things here too.
But damn, this theory seems way too far-fetched and has no evidence to support it. Besides, it makes me look like a total asshole to my sister, which isn't a good thing. So what, he declared himself, among other things, openly gay, in a homophobic society, for fun. Knowing full well what that meant for his family.
This means we will stick to the second line.
- Okay, I'll tell you everything, Percy, can you just let me go first?
"So you could run away?" she raised an eyebrow ironically.
"I can easily escape your grip on my own if necessary, I just don't want to waste the energy. So can we talk like adults?" I asked irritably.
"Try to get away, Jimmy," the spider said venomously, finally releasing me from her grip and allowing me to stand. I took advantage of the opportunity to stand and begin dusting myself off, stalling for time so I could build my defense as convincingly as possible.
"Tell Percy, how much do you know about becoming a vampire and the impact it has on a person?" I decided to force her to come to my conclusion herself.
"The thirst for blood is slowly driving you mad and eroding the will of most, if not all, of you. At least, that's how Blade explained it to me. Just don't tell me the thirst for blood has so twisted your brain that you've suddenly changed your orientation!" my sister laughed hysterically. My position had been exposed, but I decided to go all the way.
- Well, in general...
"That's a lame excuse, come up with something better!" she folded her arms under Percy's chest. Damn it, that was a powerful distraction, though it's unlikely her sister had planned it that way.
"Let's think logically, like scientists. Vampires have a very difficult time reproducing naturally. So such a mutation is entirely possible. I'm not going to say I'm not a one-off. But hey, you know how crazy this world can be."
"It happens, of course, but even so, it seems too unlikely and implausible. Vampires are supposedly sterile, aren't they?" my sister countered, more calmly. "In any case, do you have any evidence to support this theory?" she inquired.
"The only proof is right here in front of you. I don't know how or why, but the fact remains: from the moment I became a vampire, I definitely became heterosexual. And the very thought of intimacy with a man makes me gag."
"And you haven't tried to figure out what's going on here? You must have some basis, beyond these logical-sounding assumptions," Percy said skeptically.
"Let's just say I had other priorities. You know the pyramid of needs doesn't start with sex," I chuckled.
"It's quite difficult to comprehend and accept, brother. But you're definitely not lying," oh well, I fell for it, "and what are you going to do about it?"
"Absolutely nothing. Like I said, I'm happy being a vampire, which means I'm not going to delve into my own mind. You can always make things worse, you know that."
"And what about Flash? The guy's been missing you forever, he can't find a place for himself," she's probably trolling me now.
"I broke up with Flash before I turned, so I'm not going to force my subconscious to break because of him!" I snapped. It's funny, by the way, but in this world, monogamists are 90% homosexuals of both sexes. And that included old Jimmy, who'd been dating Thompson since high school. Their relationship lasted three years, and Jimmy hadn't dated anyone else. Anyway, I was lucky; things could have been much worse.
- You know, if your theory is confirmed...
"What then, Percy? Suggest the government mass-produce gays through vampirism and back again? You must be delusional to seriously consider such an option!" I nipped her in the bud before she could suggest taking me to a telepath like Charlotte Xavier.
- Okay, that would be stupid, indeed. But are you really okay with not being able to have children of your own?
"Vampire sterility is a myth, Percy. Otherwise, how do you explain the existence of an entire clan of purebred vampires? Not to mention your 'friend' Blade. He's half-vampire, did you even know that?"
"Blade's origins are a mystery to me. He didn't share the details of his birth with a random ally."
"In any case, it's possible to be born a vampire, even if it's rare. But it proves there's a solution, so there's no need to despair." Old Jimmy, oddly enough, despite his sexuality, wanted to become a father. True, he considered using either surrogacy or adoption. Both options were truly out of the realm of fantasy—no one would give a child to a family of two openly gay men for adoption. And surrogacy was quite expensive… and illegal.
In any case, I have a much better chance of becoming a father than old Jimmy, despite the difficulties.
"But it'll be hard for you to do it anyway," my sister urged me to take the medication. Apparently, my change to a more traditional orientation, despite her protestations, had already firmly taken root in her mind, which was certainly encouraging.
But her desire to get into my head with the goal of making me want to become human myself is, on the contrary, increasingly alarming and downright irritating. I hope she doesn't inject me with the appropriate drug against my will.
"I'll have eternity to solve this problem. I'm a future genetic engineer, remember?"
"One more question. Why didn't you tell me about this right away when we met?" Was she offended that I didn't lay all my cards on the table at our first meeting?
"You're not the one to lecture me about keeping secrets. Not to mention the situation wasn't conducive to any new, untimely information."
- I'm sorry, I'm just angry, I understand that it's wrong, but I'm still angry.
"Forget it, I've long since come to terms with the fact that you crave to be in the know about everything, but you keep your secrets under wraps," I patted her on the shoulder.
"I'm not like that at all!" the girl said indignantly.
"Yes, yes," I waved her off, "what next?"
- What are you talking about?
"Morbius, Percy! You said you wanted to make her human again. Do you know the formula for the serum?" I asked impatiently.
- Um…
- Percy! Seriously!?
"I know there's a cure! It's just that for some reason the hunters didn't share the formula with me," the spider explained awkwardly.
- Do you have any contacts for any New York hunters other than Blade?
- Yes! - she perked up.
- So call them Percy, time is running out!
"Okay!" said the sister, giving a playful salute. Damn, she's so difficult.
While Percy went to call her contact among the hunters, I stayed behind to watch Morbius, in case she woke up and decided to escape. She's as easy as pie, and no web could hold her back. This vampire has immense strength. In the comics, as far as I remember, Morbius fought Spider-Man and the Lizard on equal terms. Right now, our charge seems inexperienced, so even a starved me could easily restrain her, but once she gets used to her abilities, she could cause countless problems.
Meanwhile, my sister returned and her face showed nervousness.
- What's wrong?
"What makes you think there's anything wrong!?" she feigned indignation.
- Percy! - I growled at her.
"Okay, fine, we have a problem," she admitted.
"Give birth faster, sister," I urged her, for which she gave me a murderous look, but immediately after that she sighed heavily.
"The hunters refused to give me the formula, but agreed to bring it," the sister said nervously.
"You invited these racists here!? Do you even know that they shoot first and think later? Have you thought about what will happen when they see me here?" I raged.
"They're not as bad as you think," the spider justified herself.
"How soon will they be here?" I ignored her childish babble.
- Within two hours, why?
"I don't have much time, that's what!" I barked, grabbing the vampire, slinging her over my shoulder and carrying her to the lab.
"Where are you dragging her?" my sister followed me.
"Take tissue samples," I snapped. "If you succeed and she becomes human again, I won't need to dissect her anymore. And I don't want to lose such valuable material." Finally dragging my load into the lab, I placed it on the couch. "Percy, please get rid of the webbing," I asked her.
"Ah… okay," she agreed after a second.
For what must have been an hour, I collected samples from the vampire's unconscious body. I also drained a liter of her blood for experiments. The whole time, my sister assisted me, allowing me to finish faster.
By the time the hunters arrived, we were finished, and I hurried to hide in the attic, communicating with hunters is not a pleasure, so I will just pretend that I am not here.
I decided to devote the time I had to thinking about the future. Although, in reality, these were nothing more than dreams, as all my plans and intentions depended on my success in leveling up using the data I'd received from Morbius.
Overall, I think for the first time I seriously thought about what I want from this life and what goals I set for myself.
Well, after I presumably get rid of my UV allergy, I need to focus on the hunger problem. I regret to admit that, as a scientist, I can't solve it. There's no drug that functions like the cornucopia, and there never will be. Energy doesn't just appear out of nowhere, as sad as that may be.
So, I just need to get a little richer and sort out the money problem. Until then, I'll have to keep trying.
As for my ambitions, I don't know. I definitely didn't want to be a hero; let Percy do that if she liked it so much. I didn't consider myself a villain, I had no plans for world domination, I didn't plot massacres, I didn't even rob banks, maybe killed a few people, but who among us is without sin? Maybe start my own vampire clan, well, I'll think about it, before I even think about that, you need to be something.
Actually, it's probably just a lack of sex, but I figured since my sister now knows I'm straight, this secret won't stick around for long. Unfortunately, she keeps her secrets well, or at least she thinks she does. Personally, I have my doubts. So, since that's the case, maybe I should start assembling a harem of classic gossamer girls. I already know most of them personally, at least from old Jimmy's recollections. Most of them are high-spirited, but damn, for the sake of such beauties, it's worth sacrificing a little in some areas. Anyway, if they turn out to be too bitchy, let them go. My sanity is more important to me; the bloodlust is already weighing on my brain without women having to endure it.
Reflections on girls smoothly transitioned to the social aspect, namely, family formation. Family in this world is a unique and complex concept, even for those who can imagine it being otherwise. In my old world, family roles were assigned based on the spouses' personalities; here, things are a little more complex.
To begin, perhaps I should explain how families are formed. There are two main methods. The first is suitable for guys who prefer to go with the flow. It can be characterized by the phrase "all at once." The trick is this: a group of young female friends bands together with the goal of lassoing a guy. The process of forming such a group usually occurs in high school, sometimes even in middle school, and at the latest in college.
This approach has been tried and tested and is very effective. One of the group makes a guy fall in love with her, and the rest follow suit. The likelihood that at least one of them will be lucky is much higher than if each of them individually managed to squeeze into an already formed family. Statistically, women who join one of these groups have a 75% chance of getting married. And statistical studies of this kind are quite popular, meaning they are widely conducted and their reliability is beyond doubt.
The one who has lassoed a man automatically receives the status of a beloved wife, and is practically the main support of the marriage, but I will talk about the distribution of roles in traditional families a little later.
Regarding the first method of forming a basic social unit, that's probably all. Well, I can only add that families formed this way are the most stable, since the women in them have had time to get used to each other, meaning intra-family conflicts are minimized, and all they need to do is provide a comfortable existence for their man.
Regarding the second method, it's for those who are at least a bit romantic at heart, and generally more independent. This strategy is called the "individual approach" method, although I would call it the "snowball method," but as the official name makes clear, this method is ideal for picky guys, which I considered myself one of.
The point is that a man personally selects each life partner, one by one. Of course, consultations with previously married women take place, but as a rule, the man's opinion prevails.
This type of family grows over the years until it reaches a balance or collapses under the weight of internal conflicts. It's not that families formed by the first method never add new wives, but there are far fewer opportunities for this. Of course, families formed by the second method are much more unstable, but even so, divorce is extremely rare in them.
The fact is that divorce is a lifelong stigma for a woman, making remarriage virtually impossible. Suicides are common, which is unsurprising, considering that a divorced woman becomes a pariah in the eyes of society. Specifically, not only her adopted family disowns her, but also her parents. Joint custody of any children born in the marriage is out of the question; in fact, such a woman is usually not allowed to see them.
Even rarer are cases where a man abandons his entire family at once. The situation is somewhat more complex, but generally similar to when a single woman is expelled from the family. True, there are also scenarios where the man is an asshole, destroying the family with his actions and society accepts it, but this happens as often as endangered animals.
Because of the potential consequences of divorce, most women are extremely cautious about marrying a man, which snowballs into a family. Typically, you need to date a woman for at least a year before she agrees to marry, without fear of being used and discarded like a boring toy.
One way or another, what we get is a lion pride, focused on a single male. I can't think of a more precise equivalent to what's called a family here. A human pride, let's call it that, consists of one male and, on average, seven to eight wives. There can be more wives, but only in exceptional cases; their number exceeds ten; you can count those on your fingers, and they mostly concern the royal families of the remaining monarchies in this world.
Curiously, modern monarchies have even surpassed their ancient counterparts in this regard. The concept of men as advertising stands has been taken to its extreme in those countries. It's believed that a man on the throne increases the overall popularity of the monarchy. Well, opinion polls confirm this, so there's no reason to doubt it. As a result of this policy, almost all states of this type have adopted a system of agnatic succession.
But enough about politics, let's return to family composition. Fewer than seven wives is possible, but that's unprofitable, I suppose. The problem is that in human prides, almost always two, or even three, members are unemployed and take care of the household and raising children full-time.
And so we come to social roles and hierarchy in the pride. Despite all the nuances, any heterosexual family with more than two members always has a formal leader—the so-called head wife. It's not that men can't lead their families, but regardless of their position in the family, the head wife is formally responsible for all family members. Typically, she is the most charismatic person in the household, running the show, delegating responsibilities, and overseeing the pride's financial well-being.
Also, as already mentioned, there's the position of the beloved wife, whose primary responsibility is to keep her husband in the family and ensure his well-being. Typically, she and her husband don't work, creating a cozy home for everyone else. A beloved wife may well be the primary caregiver, but in reality, these positions rarely coincide.
In addition to the role of sexual release, a man in the family is also responsible for raising children, but not for being a housewife. He can, of course, combine these tasks, but as a rule, cleaning and cooking fall either to his beloved wife or to someone else.
The remaining wives are, so to speak, workhorses, whose sole function is to bring in money for the family. These seem to be all the hallmarks of the local customs. Although, no, there's one more important detail: in this world, there are no double surnames. No one at all! Local girls unanimously take their husband's surname. It's a mark of distinction, one of the hallmarks of a successful woman. I'd even say it's practically the only significant achievement in life for most.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I seemed to have completely lost track of everything around me. Just when I was about to move on to which girl I wanted to get first…
"Jimmy, are you sleeping!?" My sister interrupted my peace. As always, just in time!
"What do you want, Percy?" I grumbled irritably.
- We have problems!
"Let me guess, the medicine didn't work?" I couldn't help but ask mockingly.
- Yes, but how did you…?
"Elementary, Percy! The cure was developed for regular vampires like me. But Morbius was obviously created in a completely different way," I explained.
"Why didn't you tell me!?" she asked angrily.
"I thought there was no point in stating something so obvious. Well, I should have given the hunters a chance, maybe it would have worked," I chuckled.
"That's not funny! When it became clear the serum wasn't working, the hunters tried to kill Morbius!" Spider-Woman snapped angrily.
"Did they succeed?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
- I didn't give it to them...
"That's commendable, I knew my sister was a decent girl," I couldn't resist making a joke.
"Jimmy, I'm going to hit you!" Percy exploded.
"Sorry, sorry," I raised my hands in a defensive gesture, "so what happened?"
"I engaged the hunters in a fight, and at that moment, Morbius woke up, immediately lunged at one of the girls, and broke her neck. After that, she escaped, jumping out the window. The remaining hunters lingered just long enough to tell me I couldn't count on their help anymore and then set off in pursuit of the vampire," Spider-Woman recounted.
"I don't want to hit where it hurts, but I told you it would happen this way," I scolded her.
- It doesn't matter now! We need to find Morbius first...
"No," I refused.
- What do you mean no!?
"That's exactly it. Chasing psychos and maniacs is your choice, not mine! I helped you get back to normal, that's all. Unless it involves our family or friends, I'm not involved. Well, you can call me if there's a threat of the end of the world. If you doubt your abilities, ask Gwen or Felicia for help, but I have things to do here," I brushed off my sister and her costumed heroism.
"You know about Gwen and Felicia?" Spider-Woman's eyes widened in shock.
"What shouldn't I do?" I answered with a question.
- What!? – the sister asked, still not recovering from the shock.
"Stop treating me like an idiot, Percy! I know and that's it! Does it really matter where and when I overheard or spied on what the three of you were doing?" I replied without going into details.
Yes, as you correctly guessed, Felicia Hardy has already become the Black Cat in this world, and Percy wasn't the only spider in this dimension. That radioactive spider was obviously quite drunk on the day of that famous school field trip. He bit not only my sister, but also Gwen Stacy, and most likely Cindy Moon, but that's not certain, since nothing has been heard from her. It's strange he didn't touch Mary Jane. Jessica Drew is also most likely lying in a coma somewhere, or working for Hydra, who knows.
But getting back to our trio, Gwen didn't become a superhero immediately after gaining her powers, like Percy, but endured for about a year before joining a costumed vigilante club and becoming my sister's partner. She called herself the White Spider, and how she hasn't been labeled a racist yet is a mystery. Felicia joined the girls a couple of years later, about a year before I became a vampire.
I didn't know their identities from old Jimmy's memories; he had no idea what his classmates were up to. But naturally, I couldn't help but know who was behind the masks; I'm a Geek, after all. Their costumes, by the way, are classic—the fan in me approves of the spandex in all colors and sizes, clinging to their incredibly seductive forms. Damn, I've gotten sidetracked again.
"If we don't stop Morbius, innocent people will suffer, and those dear to you could be among them!" my sister urged me to consider the consequences, distracting me from my wet dreams about her friends.
"No one will be hurt if you call them and explain the situation, asking them not to go outside after sunset. And forgive me, but the fate of a couple of random homeless people who get mauled by Morbius is of little concern to me," I offered her an alternative, albeit a bit rudely.
"We'll talk about your attitude towards human life, Jimmy!" my sister threatened me, and jumped out the window into the night.
"I'll be waiting with impatience," I grumbled.