~ Selene ~
On the way back to the palace from the Royal Blade Guard's camp, my heart was exceptionally heavy. Not even the whistling sound of the wind being sliced through by the griffon's wings could drown out the phrase that kept echoing in my mind—'To die for you is my honor, my Queen. But please, promise me, before I die, don't frown for anything anymore.'
Those words, as if a scorching brand, had been deeply etched into my soul. They carried the metallic tang of blood, the weakness of near-death, and a kind of breathtaking, reckless devotion. As a queen, I had heard countless oaths of allegiance—some grandiose, some humble, and some filled with ambition. But never had a single sentence weighed on me so profoundly.
I couldn't suppress the memory of his frail figure lying in bed, the sight of his amber eyes dulled by excruciating pain, and the blood-soaked map hidden beneath his pillow, a testament to endless vengeance.
It was I who had thrust him into danger. It was the misinformation of my army that caused him to pay the price in blood. It was I who bestowed upon him the prestigious title of the Royal Blade Guard, yet failed to provide him with the utmost protection.
A powerful emotion, one I could only name guilt, seized my heart tightly. This guilt even surpassed the shock I once felt when the Fated Bond appeared. For a bond is the will of the heavens, the decree of destiny; I could resist, I could ignore. But this guilt stemmed from an inescapable responsibility as a queen.
That evening, when I returned to my chambers, Elarek was sitting by the window with a cup of wine that had long gone cold in his hand. He didn't rise to greet me as he usually did, didn't even spare me a glance. He just stared out at the deep night beyond the window.
'You're back.' His voice was colder than the night outside.
'Mm.' I responded, removing the cloak that had been dusted with the winds of travel.
'How is his injury?' he asked with a trace of imperceptible sarcasm. 'Our tragic hero, the commander who was gravely injured saving a new recruit—is he still alive?'
His words, like icy needles, pierced my already sensitive nerves. I suppressed my irritation and answered as calmly as I could, 'His injuries are severe. The Ogre's claws tore through his left shoulder, narrowly missing his heart. The physician says he'll need at least a month of rest.'
I exaggerated his injuries. I knew that Cairo's wounds, while serious, were far from life-threatening. But I couldn't control myself. Under Elarek's hostile interrogation, I instinctively wanted to protect the man who was hurt because of me, to make his sacrifice seem even greater, and to make my guilt appear more justified.
'Is that so?' Elarek turned his head. His gray eyes, sharp in the dim light, seemed to see through all my facades. 'You spent three whole hours in his tent, Selene. Were you merely visiting an injured subordinate?'
My heart tightened. He was interrogating me.
I thought of the promise I had made to Cairo about revenge, about the heavy and unspoken secret between us. I had promised him I would keep this secret from Elarek to avoid unnecessary political unrest.
So, I lifted my head, meeting his scrutinizing gaze, and for the first time, I told a deliberate lie with clarity and purpose.
'Yes,' I heard myself answer calmly. 'I was comforting a meritorious minister. His unit suffered heavy casualties, and he himself is gravely injured, leaving him emotionally unstable. As a queen, it is my duty to let him feel the royal family's care and stabilize the army's morale. Isn't that what I should do?'
My answer was flawless. I attributed everything to the responsibilities of a queen.
Elarek fell silent. He looked at me deeply, the disappointment in his eyes so overwhelming it felt as though he were seeing a stranger he could no longer recognize. Finally, he asked nothing more, downing the cold wine in one gulp.
I knew the rift between us had grown so wide it could no longer be bridged with words.
The next day, I made a decision. A decision to alleviate my guilt, and to fulfill the secret promise buried deep in my heart.
At the council, I announced a new decree in front of everyone.
'In light of the Royal Blade Guard's display of bravery during the Ogre-cleansing mission and their great sacrifice in safeguarding the kingdom's security,' I swept my gaze across the ministers, my voice authoritative, 'I have decided to permanently allocate the royal-exclusive, most bountiful herb garden in the Silver Mist Valley to the Royal Blade Guard. This is to ensure that our bravest warriors will receive the most timely and adequate supply of medicinal resources in the future, so they won't face danger due to logistical shortcomings again.'
As soon as my words fell, the entire council chamber erupted in uproar.
The herb garden in the Silver Mist Valley was one of the royal family's most crucial strategic resources. The rare herbs cultivated there were not only exclusive to royal members but also invaluable during wartime for maintaining morale and securing allies. Allocating it permanently to a newly established troop was unprecedented in the history of The Silver Moon Wolf Pack.
'I object!' Elarek suddenly stood up, his voice trembling slightly with rage. 'Your Majesty, you cannot do this! The Silver Mist Valley is the foundation of the royal family. How can you hand it over to an outsider? This is like feeding a tiger we can never fully control with our most crucial resources!'
'Prince Elarek!' Grand Elder Augustus immediately countered, 'Commander Cairo was injured defending the Queen's territory, and the warriors of the Royal Blade Guard sacrificed their lives eliminating threats to the kingdom! Rewarding and consoling those with merit using royal resources—isn't that the natural order of things? Are you suggesting that the lives of those warriors are worth less than a few herbs?'
Augustus's words were insidious and ruthless. He twisted Elarek's reasonable concerns into heartless indifference towards the warriors' sacrifice.
I watched as Elarek's face turned pale, a flicker of unwillingness crossed my heart. But I did not retract my decision. My mind conjured an image of Cairo lying in a pool of blood and his plea for me to not frown. At this moment, my guilt outweighed the last shred of affection I held for Elarek.
'Enough,' I said, my voice icy. 'Prince Elarek, I understand your concerns. But I cannot agree with your perspective. The Royal Blade Guard is my blade, the kingdom's sharpest weapon. My weapon must receive the best maintenance and supply. This matter is settled.'
It was the first time I had so openly, and mercilessly, opposed Elarek's views in the council.
Between us, the most severe, undeniable public confrontation had erupted.
After the council adjourned, on my way back to my chambers, Elarek stopped me in an empty corridor.
He wasn't angry, nor did he question me. He just stood there, looking at me quietly. His gray eyes, once full of love, now only held an unfathomable sadness and self-mockery that left my heart uneasy.
'A strategically important mine,' he said softly, as though tallying treasures I had given away one by one. 'And now the most bountiful herb garden. For him, what else are you willing to give, Selene?'
He paused, his lips curling into a sorrowful smile.
'Next time, will it be my place beside you?'
He didn't wait for my reply, nor did he look at me again. He turned, walking away with heavy footsteps toward the other end of the corridor. His figure, silhouetted against the dim light of the hallway, seemed so lonely, so resolute.
I reached out, wanting to call him back, but found myself unable to utter a single word. I could only stand there, watching him disappear into the corridor's end, my heart filled with an unspeakable pain and a formless chaos.
I had won the council, fulfilled my duty, and soothed my guilt.
But why did it feel like I had lost an entire world?