Silence settled between us. The fire in my chest dulled, but it didn't die. His words pressed heavy on me, as if daring me to accept them.
But I couldn't.
My voice broke the stillness, quieter now, but sharper as well.
"And what if I had died? What then?"
"Then it would have been your destination… your fate. Believe me, Sirius, I would not have wanted it. But I could not stop it."
He paused again, his eyes searching for something in mine, "You weren't ready for the truth, or the dangers it brings. If death had come, it would not have been my choice. It would have been this world's."
The air turned colder. My chest tightened.
"You call that fate?" My throat burned. "That body of yours nearly tore me apart, and you… you would have left it to destiny?"
He leaned forward, his eyes locking onto mine. His voice dropped lower, softer, but there was a tinge is seriousness in it.
"You think I could have spared you? You think this world cares who is ready? You think it waits for the weak to grow strong? No, Sirius. Out there, predators don't just feed... they enjoy the torture. They strip flesh from spirit, bleed prey of hope until nothing remains. And still, they crave more. Even if I had stepped in, what waits for you doesn't change."
His stare didn't waver.
"There are two destinies bound to your line. I don't know which is yours… but neither is safe."
For the briefest moment, his expression faltered and sorrow slipped through,
"Had you died in that cave, it would only have meant one thing... you would have fallen later. Because once you open what your mother left… once you know the truth… there is no going back. The past and the future will both come for you. And they will not let go."
The words cut deeper than the fight had.
"And you said family, grandfather." I let the word drip off my tongue with all the venom I could manage. "Is this what family does? Let you bleed out because destiny had a plan?'
His jaw tightened. Something old flickered in his eyes, it wasn't anger but burden.
"I said family," he replied, his voice stern, "because blood and bond tie us. But even family cannot change the law of this world. If you had fallen… I would have mourned you. But I could not have stopped it."
A humorless laugh escaped me.
"Touching. Nothing says love quite like, I'll cry at your funeral but won't lift a finger to save you."
"You think family is shelter. That it exists to protect you from pain. But family is not a shield against death, Sirius. It is the reason you endure it."
He didn't wait for a response and continued, "It might have been presumptuous of me… but I would have rather died here than be dragged into a fate worse than death."
The words landed heavy.
"If that's your version of family," I muttered, voice raw, "then I am glad I didn't have one. And I'm glad I was able to make a different one for my daughter."
He said nothing.
He just stood there, eyes heavy, as though he carried the weight of decades and ghosts I couldn't see.
And he did
That silence only stoked the fire in me.
This world was cruel.
It was a place where predators tortured prey for sport, where survival was the only law.
And he… he knew it.
So did I.
I had lost Lily because of this cruel world.
Even now, I didn't know why.
Why was she taken from me? What did she do to deserve it? What did my child do to deserve growing up without her mother?
I had no answers.
I was there,and I did nothing.
I couldn't do anything. I let her burn, scorched by my own fire.
That's why his words cut so deep.
Because he was right. The world was worse than one can imagine.
I clenched my fists, I could hear my heartbeat drumming in my ears.
So that's it.
Survive, or be prey.
But even if destiny had its claws in me… no one, not the Guardian, not the world, not even fate itself... had the right to decide the cost for me or my family.
"I… I just need some time," I muttered, eyes down, not wanting to meet his gaze again. "Alone to think. I need a moment. This is… too much."
For a moment, I thought he would push back, argue, explain again.
But he didn't.
He studied me with a silent understanding. Then he gave the faintest nod, and without another word, turned away.
The silence he left behind was louder than his presence.
----
I sank back against the stone wall, fingers running through my hair.
My pulse was still heavy, but the anger wasn't really at him.
It wasn't the Guardian who had thrown the first strike.
Heck, he had held that cursed body back more than once.
I could see it now.
He hadn't wanted me dead.
No. It was at this damned world.
At fate, at destiny, at whatever twisted rules decided who lived and who burned.
It was at the fact that Lily was gone.
My throat caught before I could even form her name aloud.
What even is this gift that my mother left? Who even am I? And why? Why do I have to go through so much, so sudden?
" Why dammit!! Why can't I just live peace with my daughter? " I slammed my fist through the wall, hard.
I thought I had grieved.
I told myself I had.
But what I'd really been doing was… moving. Pushing forward, clinging to Sylv, fighting the next fight before the last wound had even scarred.
Because if I stopped.
If I actually let myself grieve… it would make it real.
Final.
That... That my Lily wasn't here.
And I wasn't ready for final.
I squeezed my eyes shut, and her face was there, as vivid as if she stood in front of me. The way she smiled, as if she always knew more than me. And she did.
The warmth of her hand when held my face.
The way she held Sylvie, gentle and stern all at once.
Gods, I missed her.
I missed the sound of her laugh in the quiet. The way her presence filled spaces in my empty heart.
I missed the arguments, the stubbornness, the way she could stop me with a look and make me feel better in the same breath.
And Sylvie… my little girl.
She didn't show it. But I saw it in her eyes that aching, wordless question
Why isn't Mama here?
I had no answers.
My hands clenched against my knees, and before I could stop it, the weight of it all crashed down.
The walls I had built, the ones I thought were strong, shattered like glass.
My breath came ragged, uneven, heavy.
Something warm trailed down my cheek, slow at first.
*Drip*
A single tear struck my hand. Then another.
Before I knew, a dam burst out and I found myself crying like a broken little child.
Hot tears stung my eyes, blurred my vision, and I bowed my head as the sob tore free.
It wasn't fair. None of it was fair.
I pressed my palms against my eyes, as if I could hide it.
But the truth was simple.
I wasn't weak because I missed her.
I wasn't weak because I broke.
I was weak because I had pretended I didn't need to.
So I let it come.
I cried until the fire in my chest dulled, until I could really come face to face with myself.
And with her.
And for the first time since she left me, I let myself admit it out loud.
"I love you, Lily."
"And I miss you. A lot."