Chapter 6 – Back to 2005
During my university years, I had boyfriends I genuinely loved. I wasn't someone unfamiliar with affection or love. Some of those relationships ended kindly, even lovingly. But none of them hurt the way you did. Not even my divorce.
I always tell myself:
Your pain still tastes the same.
Even in my dreams.
I don't think I felt this much emptiness even when I was getting divorced.
I guess the experts call it "unfinished business syndrome."
Maybe they're right.
It was 2005. September or October.
The month we met.
We were from two small towns, separated by the sea. A 30-40 minute drive would take us to that middle point—
a coastal city that was about to become our shared place, our crossroads.
I was in love with the sea. You were too.
Both of us water signs. The same zodiac.
It felt like fate whispering, "Perfect match."
In that coastal town, your friend group was as eye-catching as you were. Your haircuts, your confident postures, your energy… You all stood out. And yes, I was drawn to you. Immediately. Instantly.
Most of my relationships until then had come from school or mutual friends. But this was different. I was browsing handmade beaded jewelry at a market stall. You walked by and said, "Pick the blue one." And then you smiled.
Back then, people didn't just talk to strangers. But I knew I had to play along. I might never see you again. Where else could I ever find a smile like that again?
God, this had to be a dream.
I needed to say something. Anything.
So I pointed at your silver ring and said, "That one on your finger is even nicer."
And I smiled back.
Phones and the internet were only just becoming popular.
Still, I gave you my number without hesitation.
Later I questioned myself—
"Did I come off too easy?"
"Did I leave the wrong impression?"
My thoughts ate me alive. But it was too late.
The spark had already ignited.
And the twenty-year loop had begun.