The sea breeze carried the faint sounds of waves brushing against the rocky cliffs, but the moment had turned quiet — too quiet.
Kuro had disappeared back into the woods, his silhouette fading like a bad dream in moonlight. Jango, meanwhile, strutted with confidence down toward the coast, swinging his arms in rhythm with a beat that only he could hear.
Jango, the hypnotist of the Black Cat Pirates, adjusted his heart-shaped pendant with a practiced flourish, then moonwalked three steps forward. He was alone, but that never stopped him from putting on a show.
"For Jango," he sang softly to himself, "every moment… is center stage."
He was halfway through a spinning step when someone bumped into him — or rather, he bumped into her.
"Whoops!" he exclaimed, his body twirling mid-step like he'd just tripped into a ballroom dance. "My sincerest apologies, mademoiselle!"
Jango spun full-circle and struck a pose.
"Allow me to extend my most heartful remorse through interpretive DANCE—"
He started moonwalking around her in circles, snapping his fingers, hips swaying, arms flailing like he was putting on a show for ghosts.
Nami stared at him with the blankest expression known to man.
"…You're weird."
"Why thank you!" Jango said with a bow mid-spin. "I strive for eccentric harmony—"
BINK!
A fist descended on the back of Jango's skull like divine judgment.
The hypnotist's eyes rolled back. His mouth dropped open mid-sentence. And then he collapsed face-first, arms sprawled, butt in the air like an overconfident chicken who lost a street fight with a dump truck.
Standing behind him was Luffy, casually shaking out his fist.
"Man, he talks a lot," Luffy muttered.
Zoro arrived a second later, sword resting against his shoulder. "That was easier than I expected."
Nami adjusted her hair calmly. "He left himself open."
Usopp jogged up to them. "Did he slide back into the punch?"
"Like a champ," Nami replied dryly.
"Perfect," Usopp grinned.
He crouched beside the unconscious Jango and started digging through the hypnotist's coat and vest pockets with practiced ease. First, he pulled out a sleek, silver pendulum, glinting in the sunlight. He held it up like a trophy.
"Bingo."
A second search turned up another identical device. Usopp blinked. "Seriously? He carries backups? What is this guy, a mobile metronome?"
He dropped both into his satchel, sealing them tight.
Zoro looked down at Jango's crumpled body. "So we've officially crippled Kuro's plan. He can't hypnotize the crew. Can't sneak into the manor. But…"
He crossed his arms.
"It's only a matter of time before he realizes something's off."
"Yeah," Nami agreed. "We've bought time, not a win."
Usopp stood tall. "Good thing I've got a plan."
The others looked at him.
He smiled.
Then he crouched down again and started undressing Jango.
"…What are you doing?" Nami asked, eyes narrowing.
"I really don't like where this is going," Zoro said.
He removed the man's gloves. The hat. The round glasses. Off came the coat. Then the pants. And finally — the boots. Jango lay face-down now, stripped to just his weirdly polka-dotted boxers, a shell of his former flamboyant self.
Nami was red with a mix of rage and secondhand embarrassment.
"USOPP."
Usopp held up a finger — "One moment!" — and dove behind a nearby bush, carrying the whole bundle of Jango's clothes with him.
Silence.
Then the bush rustled.
Out stepped Jango.
Only… it was Usopp.
But it was Jango.
The outfit fit perfectly — loose enough to disguise body shape. The glasses covered his eyes. His long nose was bandaged like it had been broken, and somehow — somehow — he had mimicked Jango's tiny, curled beard and even slicked his hair back.
He snapped his fingers, moonwalking in a perfect circle.
"Let it be known!" Usopp said — in JANGO'S exact voice — "That I, the Master of Stealth, took a nasty blow to the nose from a maiden I attempted to woo with the full might of my interpretive prowess! Alas, it ended in blood and heartbreak!"
Zoro blinked. "What the…"
Luffy pointed, head jerking back and forth between the real Jango and the fake one.
"Wait—wait—WAIT—so THIS is Jango, but THAT'S Jango, but YOU'RE—"
He wound up another punch before Zoro grabbed his arm.
"NO! That's Usopp, idiot!"
Luffy blinked. "…Oh."
Nami stared like she was witnessing a new form of psychological warfare.
"How do you even DO that?! You even got his facial hair!"
"I keep disguise kits in my backpack!" Usopp-as-Jango beamed, pirouetting like a man possessed. "Behold — the ultimate performance!"
Nami was holding her head. "Stop doing that. Talk normal!"
"But it is my normal, babe," Usopp-Jango replied with a wink and a hip swivel.
Nami pointed at him like she was going to exorcise a demon.
"STOP THAT!!"
Zoro chuckled, but then sobered. "Alright, crazy impersonation aside… what's the plan?"
Usopp's demeanor straightened — though he still talked in that bizarre Jango cadence.
"I return to the ship. As Jango, I order the crew to prepare for an alternate landing — something unexpected, maybe further up the coast. I guide them where I want them. Buy time. Create chaos."
He flicked the pendulum slightly, purely for effect.
"Meanwhile, you three go back to the manor."
He turned to Nami. "You lead Kaya and Merry to a safe location. Somewhere hidden."
Nami nodded, folding her arms. "I know just the place."
"Zoro. Luffy."
Usopp smirked behind the round glasses.
"You lead Kuro on a goose chase. Buy us hours. Enough time for me to sabotage their approach and crash their landing — literally."
Zoro scratched his chin. "So… chaos, distraction, rescue, and then sabotage?"
"Exactly," Usopp grinned.
"Classic Jango plan!" he shouted, spinning again.
"STOP. DOING. THAT!" Nami yelled.
Even Luffy joined in. "Yeah, it's too confusing!"
"Apologies, apologies!" Usopp-Jango said with a theatrical bow. "But when you take the stage… you never leave it."
Zoro sighed. "I can't tell if this is genius… or idiocy on a divine level."
"Little of both," Nami muttered.
The group turned to look at the real Jango again — still unconscious, still butt up in the dirt like a defeated carnival attraction.
Usopp kicked dirt over his underwear for modesty, then spun back around and raised a hand.
"Alright then, Straw Hats," he said — this time, in his own voice.
"It's showtime."