We were back in the living room.
I leaned lazily into the sofa, cradling a mug of coffee Akeno had made.
The rich sweetness spread across my tongue, and the faint steam drifted upward.
Across from me, Rias and Sona sat gracefully, the kind of posture that said 'we're nobility' even in a living room.
They sipped their tea as if it were the most natural thing in the world to drink with elegance, while Akeno hovered like an attentive shadow behind Rias.
From the smug little smile on her face, she clearly thought of herself as the perfect hostess.
On my right, Irina had made herself at home, happily munching on snacks and sneaking glances at me between bites.
To my left, Koneko was doing the same… except with twice the appetite and zero shame.
Honestly, watching those two side by side was almost comedic—Irina nibbling politely, Koneko tearing through treats like an unstoppable machine.
The real centerpiece of the room, however, was Xenovia.
She was sprawled on the floor, bruises darkening her skin and swelling rising along her jaw.
Her sword arm trembled slightly every time she tried to adjust herself, though Asia was already kneeling beside her, hands glowing with that soft golden light of healing.
Asia's face was all concentration and kindness, like an angel in the middle of a battlefield, gently patching together the girl who had been calling her a witch just minutes ago.
And me?
I just sipped my coffee.
The fight hadn't been anything groundbreaking—it was just a spar, nothing more, nothing less.
But the moment Xenovia charged in, sword blazing, I decided I wasn't going to let her off easy.
Not this time.
Not when she looked down on Asia.
Not when she thought she could swing her "Excalibur Whatever" around like the world was hers to judge.
So I gave her the simplest punishment possible: I beat her black and blue.
No flashy finishers, no cruel tortures, no impalements or twisted experiments with Giratina's shadows.
Just good, old-fashioned fists and a reminder that not every fight ends with a hero's victory speech.
Sometimes you just get knocked down, over and over, until reality sinks in.
And honestly?
It felt good.
Really good.
I'd been on the receiving end far too many times nowadays—beaten, humiliated, left coughing on the ground while everyone else threw their kicks and punches.
For once, I got to flip the script.
For once, I was the one who got to watch someone else struggle to stand, while I sat back with my coffee like it was just another afternoon.
Refreshing?
That doesn't even begin to cover it.
I plucked a cookie from the plate and bit into it, the sweet crunch echoing faintly in the otherwise quiet room.
The only real noise came from the sound of Irina happily munching away beside me, cheeks puffed like a squirrel hoarding nuts.
For someone supposedly on a holy mission, she looked more like a kid at a sleepover.
"By the way, Irina," I asked between bites, "what exactly is your mission here?"
Her eyes lit up immediately, like I'd just asked her to talk about her favorite hobby.
"Oh, nothing too big! Just that some bad thief stole the Excalibur fragments from the Church. We were sent to track them down and punish the thief!"
…
The cookie almost slipped out of my mouth.
Wait.
Did she just say Excalibur?
The legendary sword of King Arthur?
The legendary sword of hope and faith?
The one every knight in shining armor drooled over in the stories?
That Excalibur actually exist here?
I leaned forward.
"Hold on. You're saying this supernatural world has the real Excalibur?"
Irina nodded, still smiling, as if she'd just told me the weather forecast.
"Yep! Though it's broken now. It shattered into seven pieces a long time ago."
Fragments, huh?
That took some of the shine off it.
Still… even a shard of Excalibur should've been terrifying.
And then she dropped the real bomb.
"Oh! And Xenovia and I each wield one of the fragments!"
The room went quiet.
Even Rias and Sona, calmly sipping tea across from me, raised their eyebrows.
Akeno covered her mouth, hiding a smirk.
Meanwhile, my brain froze.
These two?
These complete idiots are walking around with Excalibur?
I glanced at Xenovia, still lying on the floor with Asia healing her bruises.
She looked about as majestic as a trampled potato sack.
My eye twitched.
Irina puffed her chest proudly.
"I have Excalibur Mimic, and Xenovia wields Excalibur Destruction!"
…
I nearly spat out my coffee.
"…Wait. So you're telling me… that thing she swung at me earlier… that was Excalibur Destruction?"
Irina nodded like an eager puppy.
"Yes! That was Excalibur!"
I blinked.
My voice cracked with disbelief.
"You mean the Excalibur? The legendary sword carried by King Arthur Pendragon? The blade that can insta-kill armies, a single strike can change continents —that Excalibur?"
"Mm-hmm!" she hummed cheerfully, sipping her tea.
"Though, like I said, it's just a fragment now."
I slumped back into the couch, dazed.
Rias tilted her head curiously, while Akeno's lips curled into that infuriatingly amused smile of hers.
"…Unbelievable," I muttered. "Excalibur Destruction. By name alone, I figured it'd be world-ending—like cutting mountains in half or vaporizing cities with a single strike. Instead, the power I saw earlier…"
I trailed off and shook my head.
"That was it? Honestly, it was so weak that a regular missile could do the same damage. Faster, too."
Irina blinked at me in confusion, cookie crumbs on her cheek.
"Eh? But Excalibur is legendary!"
"Legendary, my ass," I said, leaning forward again.
"If that's really Excalibur, then humanity's been overhyping it for centuries. The way you used it, I'd take a tank strike over your 'holy sword' any day."
At that, Koneko—munching quietly on her mountain of snacks—finally spoke up. "Excalibur's not that weak, though. It's just you are weird."
Rias chuckled softly into her teacup.
Sona adjusted her glasses, clearly holding back laughter, while Akeno let out an actual giggle.
Xenovia, still battered on the floor, looked like she wanted to die from shame more than from her injuries.
Meanwhile, I reached for another cookie, completely unfazed.
"Seriously," I muttered.
"This world really is weird. Legendary swords, holy power, chosen warriors… and it still can't beat good old-fashioned modern nukes."
Xenovia grumbled from the floor, voice muffled by Asia's healing light and her own swollen lips.
"It's… not that Excalibur is weak," she forced out.
"I just can't control one hundred percent of its power yet. Otherwise, I would have easily defeated you…"
Ah. There it was.
I leaned back in my chair, finally understanding.
So the sword wasn't the problem—the wielder was.
Phew.
For a moment, I thought the legendary Excalibur itself had been reduced to the level of a glorified light show.
That would've shattered my mental image of it forever.
This was essentially a case of poor compatibility.
The sword was capable, but its wielder wasn't strong enough to draw out its true destructive potential.
Makes sense.
Still, I couldn't resist smirking.
"So, in other words… the sword is fine. It's just you that's weak, huh?"
Xenovia glared at me, trying to sit up, but Asia gently pushed her back down to finish healing.
The poor girl looked like she wanted to strangle me, but even her pride couldn't fight against her bruised ribs.
I shrugged and continued.
"If it can't even manage a nuke-level strike right now, then I guess it makes sense. Otherwise, all those legends about Excalibur being humanity's symbol of hope and faith would lose their shine."
For a moment, I pictured it—the blade in its prime.
The weapon of King Arthur, carving through armies and changing the very shape of history.
That kind of power had weight.
Meaning.
But then again… this wasn't my old world.
This was another world, with its own rules, its own gods, its own brand of legend.
Who knew what kind of abilities Excalibur had when it was whole?
Maybe it was even more terrifying than I imagined.
Either way, I couldn't help but chuckle to myself as I took another sip of coffee.
"Guess I'll just have to wait and see whether you can live up to your sword, Xenovia."
Her muffled groan of annoyance was the perfect answer.
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