"Plunge!"
Jiraiya crashed from the rooftop into the hot spring with a splash that sent water flying everywhere, followed immediately by a storm of slippers and stools, along with shrieks of panic.
"Get the pervert!"
Chapter Two Hundred Fifty: Shocking! A Certain Middle-Aged Man with White Hair [Part Two]
"Somebody come quick! There's a peeping tom!"
A single scream was all it took to send the entire hot spring bathhouse into chaos. Towels, bars of soap, basins, and slippers came flying at Jiraiya from every direction. However, when a group of angry middle-aged women, fully dressed and armed with sticks, rushed over, they found no one where he had fallen.
In the woods behind the bathhouse, Jiraiya stood bruised and furious, glaring at the group before him with burning eyes.
"Do you have any idea what you've done?" Jiraiya rubbed his bruised eye socket where a basin had struck him. Pain and despair twisted his face into a comical grimace. "You've stopped a great artist from gathering inspiration for his work. Because of you, my creative spark has been completely snuffed out. Without inspiration, I can't come up with the next chapter anymore! You've ruined what could have been another volume of Make Out Paradise — a literary phenomenon destined for the entire shinobi world!"
"Excuse me, old man," a voice asked politely, though pretending to be genuinely curious. "But may I ask what kind of novel you write?"
Although she recognized him, Sakura didn't reveal her knowledge, instead feigning curiosity as if she really didn't know who he was.
"Grandpa?! Do I really look that old? I'm still in my prime!" Jiraiya clutched his chest dramatically. Grandpa? Am I really that old?
"You have white hair and you're still calling yourself young? Am I supposed to believe you don't have any gray hairs either?" Sakura muttered softly—just loud enough for Jiraiya to hear clearly.
"My hair's naturally white, okay?" Jiraiya pointed at his head, defending himself. "Look closely, little girl. Does this face look like a grandpa's to you?" He gestured toward his face. "This face alone is enough to charm thousands of girls. I'm still at my peak, you know!"
"Pu hahaha!"
Sakura and the others couldn't stop themselves from laughing. "Sorry, but honestly, I don't see anything close to 'at your peak.' All I see is a face beaten black and blue because of sneaking into the ladies' bathhouse!"
"You dare say that again?" Jiraiya grew angrier. "If you hadn't smacked me straight in the face with that stick, I wouldn't have fallen into the hot spring! If I hadn't fallen in, nobody would've noticed me, and I wouldn't have ended up looking like this!"
"Oh, so now being a perverted peeping tom makes you right, huh?!" Hinata scoffed coldly, her palms itching as she imagined delivering a full [Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms] combo to this white-haired creep. "Someone as disgusting as you could only write indecent novels!"
"What do you mean indecent? My Make Out Paradise is a bestseller across the entire shinobi world, with countless fans, you know!" Jiraiya argued indignantly. After all, he was a serious god-tier writer with an enormous following.
"Oh, so you're the author of that dirty little book. That explains it. Someone like you would write something so filthy - no wonder you're such a creep to begin with."
Sakura and the others made expressions of sudden realization. "Now I remember why you look so familiar! It's you - the Third Hokage's apprentice, one of the Konoha Sannin, Jiraiya the Gallant!"
"Glad you know my reputation," Jiraiya said happily at first, thrilled that someone had recognized one of the Konoha Sannin instantly. But his smug expression froze completely when he heard the last comment.
"Hey! Since when have I been called 'the Perverted Hermit'? My official title is the Taoist Sage of the Toad Spirits from Mount Myoboku, shortened to Toad Sage of Konoha Sannin - Jiraiya the Gallant, okay?"
"Hmph. Writing porn novels isn't enough? Now you're even peeping in the hot spring bathhouse. 'Perverted Hermit' suits you perfectly."
Sakura and her crew shot daggers at Jiraiya with their eyes, completely wiping the smirk off his face.
"I'm the Toad Sage, not the Perverted Hermit!" Jiraiya struggled to defend himself. He needed to protect his reputation desperately - if Lady Tsunade found out people were calling him 'Perverted Hermit,' she'd look down on him forever.
"Perverted Hermit," Sakura suddenly smiled, though her expression looked mischievous rather than pleasant, "did you ever think about what's most terrifying for a writer?"
"Loss of inspiration?" Jiraiya took an instinctive step backward. How had this girl suddenly become so scary, like he'd run into some natural predator?
"Wrong!" Sakura raised a delicate finger and wagged it. "For writers, the scariest thing is... deadline pressure!"
"Deadline pressure?!"
Jiraiya almost screamed in fright. Those two words were pure nightmares for him. Once a free-spirited novelist whose writing pace followed only his own heart, his life changed completely after signing with the Celestial Society Group several years ago just to help Lady Tsunade pay off gambling debts. Since then, relentless deadline pressure from his editor had turned into his worst nightmare.
Just thinking about it made Jiraiya shudder against his will. No way would his editor find him here in Konoha Village - he'd changed identities so many times trying to escape!
"You Perverted Hermit, forgot to introduce yourself properly."
Sakura arched an eyebrow and pointed at herself. "I am Sakura Haruno, a Konoha Genin, and also serving as chairman of the Celestial Society Group. And your companions here are all shareholders of our company. In other words, we're all your bosses!"
"Bosses? Impossible!" Jiraiya's eyes nearly popped out. Was he really that unlucky, or was fate playing a cruel joke on him? Escaping specifically because of missed deadlines, then immediately running into his boss? No way, absolutely impossible - they must be lying to him.
"Jiraiya," Sakura continued, "I've already received letters from your editor. You haven't submitted any manuscripts these past two months!" Sakura's words sent the last shred of hope in Jiraiya's heart plummeting into hell. Little did he know, the real inferno was yet to come with her next words.
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