"What a cheeky little girl! You're way too young to be acting like an old lady!" Kakashi flicked Sakura on the forehead, irritated. Who was she to say "children grow up and don't follow their mothers' wishes anymore"? She sounded like she was his senior or something.
"Ow!" Sakura rubbed her head with both hands and muttered in pain. "Kakashi-san, if you dare touch me again, don't blame me for spreading your nude photos across the entire shinobi world!"
"How do you even have nude photos of me?" Kakashi looked stunned. Had someone really taken secret photos of him while he was showering?!
"I admit I don't actually have any real nude photos of you," Sakura grinned mischievously, looking angelic to anyone else but clearly devilish in Kakashi's eyes. "But dear Uncle Kakashi, do you remember that [Mind Pollution Jutsu] I used at the Border?"
"You—you can't do that!" Kakashi panicked. If she really used that technique, his reputation would definitely be ruined forever across the entire shinobi world.
"Don't worry, Uncle Kakashi," Sakura's smile carried obvious threat. "Just obey me nicely, find a girlfriend soon, and I won't use that move." Her expression darkened slightly as she added, "Otherwise, get ready to see those pictures circulating everywhere. Who knows, maybe you'll gain lots of cute female and male fans!"
"Haha, finding a girlfriend isn't exactly simple stuff," Kakashi chuckled awkwardly. He honestly had no idea how to escape bachelorhood.
"Uncle Kakashi, are you still pining over Rin?!" Sakura narrowed her eyes suspiciously. From what she remembered, in the original plotline, Rin had feelings for Obito instead. The only reason she admired Kakashi was more like a fan idolizing her favorite celebrity. "Let me warn you—don't touch your buddy's woman, and absolutely no growing green pastures for your deceased comrade!"
"Where did you get that idea?" Kakashi twitched visibly. How did everything coming out of Sakura's mouth suddenly sound so twisted? "Rin and I were just ordinary teammates! I only felt guilty because I failed to fulfill Obito's last request."
"Stop moping around about all this sentimental junk. I promise to give you a nice surprise regarding that matter later. Also, Kakashi-san, how come you still haven't learned any flirting skills after reading so many romance novels?"
After saying this mysteriously, Sakura frowned toward the Make Out Paradise book in Kakashi's hand.
"This isn't some inappropriate book! It's Make Out Paradise!" Kakashi hurriedly stashed the book away, feeling genuinely embarrassed being scolded by such a young girl.
"Well then, whatever books you read are your own business. I guess I can't control you anyway!"
Sakura sighed dramatically before warning, "Just remember one thing, dear Uncle Kakashi—read all you want, but please don't get too excited. Overexertion can seriously damage your health!"
"Where in the world did you even learn to talk like that?" Kakashi shook his head helplessly. When he was ten, he was still focused on nothing but getting stronger—on the battlefield, no less.
"Please," she scoffed. "It's not like it's anything serious. Only someone as hopelessly innocent as you would get all flustered over something like this!"
Sakura gave him a disdainful glance. How should she put it? She had seen plenty of questionable doujinshi about Kakashi from her past life, so now looking at Kakashi again, any sense of innocence just didn't exist.
Kakashi clutched his chest in mock despair, clearly wounded by her words. This hit was truly quite painful.
"Uncle Kakashi," Sakura said discontentedly, "not to mention your daily reading of Make Out Paradise, you'd be better off taking a walk outside and chatting a bit more with girls. With your looks going for you, if you wanted, there would be plenty of girls lining up for a relationship with you!"
Sakura looked at Kakashi disapprovingly—this guy really lacked self-awareness. "You're not short on money or fame; you're one of Konoha's most respected Jonin, right at the top of the village hierarchy. As for property, the Hatake family estate alone is huge—you're not lacking in that department either. Basically, you're the ideal bachelor, successful in your career, rich, free, and tragically alone. And let's not forget that tragic backstory of yours! Just play the brooding type a little, talk to some girls, and they'd instantly feel all motherly toward you! Such a perfect package, and you don't even try—wasting all that potential? You're wasting heaven's gifts! No wonder you've been single all your life!"
"I'll think about it later," Kakashi evaded, pushing the timeline forward until after his retirement.
"Come on, seriously. What ninja ever retires?" Sakura scoffed at Kakashi. In this line of work, retirement just isn't part of the job. Once you become a ninja, it lasts for your entire life.
"In short, Uncle Kakashi, you'd better try harder and find a girlfriend before we graduate. Otherwise, don't blame me when you can never find one!"
"What are you planning to do?" Kakashi asked warily—what kind of trouble was coming now?!
"Not much, just preparing to publish a book. Since the Celestial Society is already running smoothly now, our publishing house has expanded across the entire shinobi world, and bookstores have sprung up in every major and minor town. The few books I wrote earlier are also ready for publication."
Sakura spoke calmly. Over the years, the Celestial Society Group mainly invested across various industries, growing its assets through the snowball effect while opening the largest bookstore in the entire ninja world. Even Jiraiya had become a contracted writer for the Celestial Society—in other words, Kakashi's beloved Make Out Paradise was now published under the Celestial Society as well.
"What exactly do you mean?" A bad feeling suddenly surged in Kakashi's heart, making him nervous and anxious.
"Nothing much. When my book gets published, just pick up a copy yourself—you'll get it once you read it for yourself!" Sakura smiled, her eyes narrowing into crescent moons. "By the way, thanks for cooperating, Uncle Kakashi! Without the photos you provided, my book would've lacked a certain sense of realism and emotional impact."
CHAPTER 87 MIZUKI'S CONSPIRACY
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