The three weeks in Busan were for Jungkook a slow, quiet but absolutely necessary resurrection. The ceaseless comfort,the unconditional love and protection of his parents had gradually begun to piece together the boy's shattered life.
Those peaceful,quiet mornings in the kitchen making breakfast, Jin's comforting, home cooked meals,the long, evening talks out on the porch with his papa,his appa reading him bedside stories in the most soothing tone as if he was a little child,had given him the will to live again.
The paleness of his features was replaced by a light,pink colour and his figure was no longer dangerously skinny but the fire burning inside him had taken an entirely different form. From raw panic to sharp decisiveness.
He was ready to face the world and the reality he couldn't bear a month ago..
When he eventually returned to Seoul one Monday morning,he didn't sneak inside the apartment like a ghost. He walked through the door with his head held up high,his backpack and a tote bag in his hands that no longer shook.
Jimin and Yoongi were having breakfast in the kitchen and instantly jumped up the second they heard the clinking of the door with relieved eyes. Before Jimin could give Jungkook an armful of hugs after weeks of absence, the younger took a few steps back with a cautious look in his gaze. It wasn't fear or anger but more like a calm intensity.
" Jungkook...?" Jimin began saying, startled by his reaction.
Jungkook left the backpack in the corner next to the door and the other bag on the counter, sliding the jacket out of his shoulders, placing it on a chair by rhe table.
He needed answers and was ready to have a conversation that was long overdue.
" Sit down Jimin." he said gently with a commanding authority that left no room for arguments." We need to have a little talk... the three of us."
The couple exchanged uneasy glances as they took a seat on the couch and Jungkook sat across them on the armchair, folding his arms.
" I guess you already know I went to Busan." the boy began,the steady rhythm of his voice laced with a bitter undertone." And you're lucky I did because if I stayed we wouldn't be having a conversation at all."
Jimin rubbed his palms on his shorts out of pure nervousness and the ideas forming in his head were one worse than the other." What... do you mean,Kook?"
Jungkook steadied his nerves with a deep, long inhale and then let the fragile truth out." I overheard you. I know the truth you've been hiding from me. Did you really think I wouldn't find out?"
Jimin's face drained of colour, blurring into chalk white. He gripped Yoongi's hand,his knuckles turning pale." Kook? What.. exactly did you hear?"
" Everything. I heard everything." the boy murmured in a painful vulnerability that bled through every word." That I was pregnant, carrying Taehyung's baby inside me and had a miscarriage from the drugs. And I know that while I was hurting and drowning myself in alcohol.. hoping and praying I was dead,Tae was back to his old life, fooling around with other men without sparing me even a thought. And honestly I'm not sure which hurts the most. You, my friends, hiding the truth about me. A truth I should know or Taehyung.. replacing me in his life with such convenience."
" Kook... please.." Jimin began saying,his eyes flooding with tears,the heavy weight of guilt crashing his chest but Jungkook raised his hand, abruptly cutting him off.
" Who the fuck gave you the right to hide it from me? Who appointed you God? What in the hell made you think I shouldn't know what was happening inside my own body?" Jungkook asked, his voice breaking from the profound disappointment he was getting from his own family.
" Listen... we.." Jimin rubbed his temples and although he wanted to throw himself into his brother's arms,he remained rooted to the spot out of fear of making things worse." We thought.."
" You thought? You? For me?" He let out a cold,bitter laugh. " You made a decision that wasn't yours in the first place. You hid a syndrome I had no idea I had. A pregnancy and a miscarriage. I lost my baby and I couldn't grieve properly. That wasn't about YOU. It was about me and my body! ME NOT YOU!"
Yoongi was lost for words, holding his boyfriend's trembling hand while Jimin's gaze was stuck on the floor out of shame. He knew they had fucked up. They should have told him everything from the start.
Jungkook would have cried, screamed,grieved but at the right timing and not delayed. He let himself agree with Yoongi's perspective, probably because it suited him but he was as much to blame.
" I'm sorry, Kook.." Jimin lisped under his breath.
" Sorry? No, it won't do."
" Please! Hear me out.."
" You had your chance. Now it's my turn." Jungkook's eyes trailed over their pale faces,the sadness and guilt in their eyes but at that point nothing of what he was holding inside him should be left unsaid.
" How could you look me in the eye every day,watch me drown myself in alcohol and despair because of the emptiness screaming inside my body and pretend you didn't see it? I lost my child! A child that didn't get the opportunity to grow inside me.. a baby I didn't get to hold.. My body became a graveyard Jimin! It hosted a funeral for my own flesh and blood and you two found it appropriate to keep me in the dark. I'm not a kid who couldn't handle the truth. I had every right to know. To cry. To mourn. And you took that away from me. I'm disappointed in both of you. I trusted you but instead you chose to keep a secret that wasn't yours."
" We did it to protect you!" Jimin cried out,his voice cracking into sobs as he hunched forward." Kook,you were physically and mentally broken. When the doctor informed us about your condition and the miscarriage,he strictly warned us that your mental state was too fragile and it was best to conceal it for your own good."
" And who are you to judge that?"
Jimin exploded on the spot." Your friends! Your family! You were trying to kill yourself with alcohol because of those bastards and Taehyung's rejection. If we had told you about the baby,we were petrified you'd jump off the roof! We didn't betray you,Kook. We were trying to keep you alive,to get you back on your feet and then we'd tell you everything! "
Jungkook shut his eyes,tears escaping his eyelashes as he pressed his hand on his flat belly, feeling the void space and throbbing pain roosting inside him.
He wasn't unreasonable. Simply hurting. He understood them and their decision to hide a truth that could potentially break him but some things needed to be out in the open.
Besides, how could he point fingers at them for trying to protect him when he had equal responsibility for losing his baby? He chose to go to that place to meet a total stranger. He decided, against his better judgement, to have a drink with Aespa having seen how vicious and vindictive she could be.
He couldn't control the future but somehow he could have controlled his decisions and thinking about it now after everything,he bitterly concluded that Minhun had always cost him more than he could afford.
Minhun had the extraordinary ability to cause problems even through his absence and that combined with his own obsession to find him had created chaos in his life.
No matter what happened next or where life led him,the loss of his baby would forever haunt him but he swore he wouldn't repeat the same mistakes or insist on finding someone who had clearly no intention of being found for his own reasons.
Yoongi eventually found the courage to speak. He straightened his back and pinned his eyes on Jungkook's frail figure." If you wanna blame someone,blame me. It was my call to hide the truth. Jimin was against it from the beginning. I wanted you to recover, get your strength back and then we'd tell you everything. I'm sorry if we misjudged the situation and caused you more pain but it wasn't an easy ride for us too. Watching you hurting, blaming yourself for what happened, sinking deeper and deeper into alcohol and misery. And that only from losing Kim..Perhaps we overstepped our boundaries.. it was just to protect you."
Jungkook's lips slightly curled into a faint, very faint smile. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that it was in fact their intention to protect him and his expression mellowed. His hands clenched into fists and instantly back to its original state, tangling his fingers together.
" I understand." It was all that was heard from his mouth.
Jimin's eyes snapped up and peered at his friend." You do..?"
Jungkook's head gave an affirmative nod."Maybe I would have done the same.. and I'm not being ungrateful for your affection and love but in order for me to heal I can't hold my thoughts and feelings inside. We have been drowning in secrets ever since we stepped foot in this city. I'm tired.." He raked his fingers through his messy hair, tipping his head backwards." I'm so freaking tired of secrets... I can't handle secrets anymore..."
Yoongi stared at Jimin and they both realised the weight of carrying secrets and plotting behind his back even if it was for his own good. Yoongi's secret identity was no longer that secret from the moment he exposed himself to Jimin. And he was growing tired of the darkness surrounding his life.
Jungkook was family. His baby brother. Someone he cared about and truly admired. He wasn't actually betraying a secret, merely showing him trust.
The older one drew a slow breath before forming the first sentence that sounded far better in his head. He had remained silent for too long, absorbing Jungkook's justified rage."Then it's time we fill you in about something else. It might sound strange but it's the truth and you're right. No more secrets.I came to the club with one mission and it was to investigate it. I'm a cop, Jungkook." he spoke with absolute gravity.
And he told him everything without hiding a single detail from him. Even about Minhun's diary and what was hidden in it. As soon as he finished,he eyeballed Jungkook to get a reaction that didn't come.
Jungkook didn't even blink, receiving the news with perfect composure as if he was expecting them all along.
" You're not surprised?" Yoongi asked in a quiet astonishment, furrowing his brows.
The younger wiggled his shoulders."Nothing surprises me anymore. Not you being a cop. Not the club being a sewage of crime and now that I think about it, Minhun's involvement is not a bolt out of the blue. Anyway... I'm done with the club and Minhun. His life,his choices. I paid a very heavy price searching for him and I've done my duty. No more.."
" Kim isn't involved in anything illegal." Jimin announced believing that was rattling through his mind.
" I didn't doubt him. He'd never risk his reputation,his achievements and an empire he built from scratch for a few side bucks." Jungkook's breath hitched at the raw faith he had for a man that broke his heart and rejected his love.
" So what about Tae? You watched him go back to his old life, casting me aside like a used car,like our relationship,the months we lived together were nothing and you didn't think,not for a single moment, I had the right to know how easily I was discarded? I was carrying his child and he chose to erase me. I opened up my heart to him and he stepped all over me without a pang of guilt." He let out a dry laugh, slumping back to his armchair,his hand still pressing his empty belly." I was suffering for losing everything and he was fucking around with new toys."
" He hasn't erased you, Jungkook." Yoongi replied,his deep, hoarse voice rippling through the emotional storm." Kook, listen to me. Yes,we hid that as well merely because I didn't want his toxic shadow choking you while you were going through hell. But I need to tell you the whole story and let you decide how to handle it yourself. Kim hasn't replaced you in his life or his house. He has put himself into a self-destructive hell."
Jungkook's heavy eyelashes battered ceasely,his hand had shifted into a tight fist above his stomach as he gulped down hard."Jimin saw him,dancing with other men, drinking and kissing them. He took them to our... his penthouse... in the same bed we slept together..."
"Jimin saw the performance. What Kim allowed him to witness." Yoongi countered softly,a certain glint in his eyes." I saw the aftermath. What happens when no one is observing him.Kim getting into his limo with a model he had just picked up and kicking him out in the rain just a few miles away when he thought nobody was around. Jimin has been witnessing him at the club for weeks, yeah, buying drinks, dancing, showing arrogance and trying to convince himself and the rest of us, he's totally unbothered. But in reality? Well.. he can't touch another man. His body and his mind rejects every single person that isn't you,Kook. Don't misunderstand me. I'm not trying to sugarcoat the situation, simply stating facts. "
The hand on Jungkook's belly went rigid,his breath clogged in his burning lungs,his chest rising and falling with a heave as the words settled in.
Taehyung had kicked that model out. He couldn't touch anyone else. He was showing off in front of Jimin but he still couldn't bring himself to touch another person.
In the dark depths of his winter soul,a tiny, feeble spark of hope was brought to life. Not solid but it came rushing out and it was there, thumping against his ribs.
Taehyung was miserable. He was running away from a memory, battling against himself, fighting a war against his own pride.
Was he pretending?
Was his soul chained by Jungkook's memory and their life together?
Perhaps their story hadn't ended and he had a chance to win him back. Not just for himself but also for their baby and for putting the closure they both were desperately struggling for.
But this time, Jungkook would handle things differently and on his own terms. No more contracts. No more secrets. No more hiding under the pretence of physical need.
He'd tell him about the life they had created together,shower Taehyung with all his love and restore his faith into the world but mostly on him.
Jungkook released a deep,long breath,the tension in his shoulders slowly melting away. He viewed at Jimin and his teary eyes,at Yoongi and his firm, protective look and realised that despite their silence they were always secretly protecting him even from himself.
They were his family and the people he could trust his life to. " I said what I said. I'm still hurt but I do understand why you did it. " he murmured softly and let a faint smile spread across his face.
Jimin practically threw himself in his arms, roosting his face in Jungkook's chest, feeling so relieved he actually thought his heart would erupt at any moment.
Jungkook's arms hooked around his idiotic friend." Just don't ever do it again. I've had enough with secrets and schemes and everything. I need peace and quiet."
" Deal." Jimin agreed, hugging him tighter, laughing and crying all at once.
" Will you quit crying? You're slimming on my freshly ironed hoodie." He fakely scolded Jimin who smiled and craned his head just to see that hint of naughtiness in Jungkook's gaze. The one he had missed so much!
Jungkook stood up, walked over to the kitchen counter and grabbed a hold of the insulated tote bag, smelling of sesame oil, garlic and broth. He returned to the living room and placed it on the coffee table, pushing it towards Jimin.
" For you." Jungkook said,a gentle,warm smile coating his lips." Papa packed a lot of food,side dishes and soup for you guys. He made me promise I wouldn't eat them on my way here and give them to you the minute I arrived to make sure you're well fed."
Yoongi and Jimin went totally rigid,their jaws literally dropping while staring at Jungkook in absolute shock. The younger,in all the years they had known him, had never referred to either of them like that. It was always 'Jin hyung and Namjoon hyung ' like respectable,older brothers.
It was one of the reasons Jimin had avoided calling them appa and papa while growing up beside them. Yet now, the casual, almost effortless way he said papa was speaking volumes. It meant that inside the darkness of his life, Jungkook hadn't just healed his body but also his soul.
He had finally opened up his heart, letting himself be truly adopted by the love of their parents. By the family he so desperately needed but was afraid to embrace.
Another one of Minhun's 'accomplishments' since he was the person holding Jungkook back by repeatedly pointing out that the hyungs weren't his real parents. That they were adopted out of pity not because they were loved. That boy corrupted Jungkook's soul from the first day he had come to the orphanage.
Jimin's hand flew over his mouth as a new wave of tears sprung to his eyes."Kook... did you just... say what I heard you said..? Or... Fuck!"
Jungkook shrugged his shoulders, gazing at their startled faces,his cheeks painted dark pink but didn't take his words back. His head gave a slight nod,his eyes glowing with a profound,grounded strength Jimin hadn't seen in years.
" Yeap! Why so stunned?" the boy murmured, slowly taking out the packets one by one, setting them on the table."They are our parents,Jimin. Papa and appa took care of me. They were by my side while struggling to find the will to live. They didn't ask more than I was willing to share but I told them everything."
Jimin laughed loudly, still finding it hard to believe." Are you for real?" He frowned." Who are you and what have you done with our Kook?"
Jungkook's eyes rolled to the back." Shut up, shorty! It's called maturity but you wouldn't know anything about that."
" And you do?"
" I'm the definition of maturity." Jungkook replied in an amusing tone which within minutes turned serious. He rested his elbows on his knees and took a deep inhale." You see, I've thought about it. Our parents wanted to adopt us since we were toddlers. I objected and dragged you along with me. Minhun was always telling me it was out of pity for the orphans who had no future and for years I bought that. Come to think of it, in a way he was constantly - I'm not sure it's the right word - poisoning my mind, holding me captive in a life I hated.."
He paused to suck in a breath he desperately needed and continued." I let him control my life, make the decisions for me and it took me a long time to understand that I paid a heavy price for him. I lost myself in trying to find him." Jungkook tangled his fingers together and bitterly laughed." I don't owe him a damn thing anymore. I'm done with this story."
One shock came after the other for the couple. Jungkook had to go through hell,lose himself and everything that mattered to him, only to realise that Minhun was bad news. But better late than never!
Jimin raised both hands in the air, hoisting his head." Thank the heavens! You finally woke up!"
" Good for youKook. Good for you." Yoongi exclaimed, tossing his head to the side." I'm glad you came to your senses. Now I can safely say I never liked the guy and I haven't even met him."
" For some reason, nobody ever liked him, Yoongi. They tried to warn me but I wouldn't listen. Don't get me wrong,I'm not blaming him for what happened to me but something cracked inside me and I can't explain why or how... It's just a feeling I can't name. And now I think I'm ready to face the music here. It's time to man up."
Jungkook's expression indicated how dead serious he was about everything that burdened him over the years and both men were satisfied with the outcome.
" Let's eat. I've been craving papa's food all morning." Jungkook rubbed his hands together, almost drooling at the sight of food.
Life wasn't back to normal but it was a hopeful start...
___________________
The stuffy, methanol - laced shades that had outlined Jungkook's bedroom for weeks were ousted. He roamed around the space that had become his prison and shelter in his darkest times with a quiet focus, throwing the window open to let the bright morning sun fill the room. The sun beans danced across the shiny surface, warming Jungkook's heart.
He stood in front of the closet, neatly hanging his clothes,hoodies and T-shirts and folding his sweatpants in soft, unhurried moves. The man who had spent weeks drowning in bottles of alcohol, curled up in a ball, wishing he was dead was slowly embracing the light.
In his place now stood someone who had stared at the abyss, had hit rock bottom,grieved and cried in his parents' arms and decided he was done with self-pity and being the victim.
His tears had run dry,the booze had lost its effect and the overwhelming guilt of the miscarriage had softened by the unconditional love of his family. The pain was present but he wasn't drowning anymore.
Deep inside his core,a tiny spark of hope had ignited, enough to burn his soul, by what Yoongi had told him. Hearing that Taehyung was subconsciously rejecting every other man,that he was pretending to be indifferent in his attempt to erase Jungkook's memory, a memory that haunted him, had given him the courage to be optimistic and hopeful.
Taehyung wasn't apathetic. He was hurting too, bundled up in a suffocating armor of his own wounded pride, utterly blinded by a twisted lie. He shut the closet,opened a drawer, pulled out fresh sheets and made his bed.
As he marched into the bathroom to do the laundry,his hands mechanically pushed the forgotten, dirty clothes inside the tub,filling the detergent drawer with washing liquid and softener and pressed the control panel.
The steady, humming of the machine made him smile. He remembered how diligent he was when washing and ironing Taehyung's clothes from the beginning of his stay at that house, seeking perfection only to get praised.
" You pursued me till I had nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. You made me face who I really was and gave me a child. Our child. You pulled all the stops to make me yours Tae.. to show me who I belong to. Now it's my turn,my love."
A determined, fierce look settled in his doe eyes. It was high time for him to claim what was rightfully his. He'd wait for the perfect opportunity,corner him,look him dead in the eye and force him to listen to his explanation as many times as he had to.
He'd make Taehyung understand. He'd break that fake,icy facade piece by piece,no matter how cruel and arrogant the man tried to act. He might not have loved him yet but he sure as hell wanted and needed him.
It was a good start.
Jungkook loved him in an obsessive, possessive, unyielding intensity that defied logic and he was more than willing to go to every length to win him and his heart. He understood they shared equal blame for how things turned out.
Dark secrets, hidden truths and foolish misunderstandings along with their stubbornness to honestly talk to each other led to their break up. Of course he wasn't turning a blind eye to reality.
They were in a contracted relationship and not an ordinary one but if he got the chance, Jungkook was certain it could evolve into something deeper and he needed that reassurance to keep him going.
He had to be optimistic just to survive and having a purpose to fight for, was life-saving.
However,it wasn't merely about gaining Taehyung 's love. It was about justice and closure. He shifted, avoiding gazing himself in the mirror and walked back to the room, taking a seat at his desk and observing the bright sky.
A wave of maternal sorrow surged through him but it no longer held the raw panic he once had. It was mostly a holy,deep obeisance. Taehyung had every right to know. He deserved to know that his unjustified,vile accusations and his blind wrath hadn't simply destroyed a contract. They had cost them a child.
He deserved to feel the crashing weight of the tragedy of losing your own flesh and blood and the pain they had both unknowingly suffered. He had every intention of sharing the events and the guilt.
He'd tell him about the horror he went through in that hotel room. The excruciating cramps on the bathroom floor,the cold hospital room and the faint heartbeat of a soul slowly vanishing before it even had the opportunity to begin.
Kim Taehyung needed to face the consequences of his actions the same way Jungkook did. To realise that his maddening behaviour and stupid pride had driven away the one person who had loved him unconditionally, who worshipped him like a God and had lost the life they had created.
He pushed the drawer open, pulled out his leather sketchbook, a graphite pencil and a rubber, setting them on the white desk as he let out a ragged breath,his chest rising and falling but at a steady pace.
He closed the drawer and boosted his head towards the window. Spring was just around the corner and filled him with a profound sense of optimism.
The road ahead was gonna be bumpy and hard,full of obstacles and narrow-minded people but nothing in his life had come with a cost. He'd face the world and Taehyung like a knight battling against his king in an unbreachable castle but he wasn't scared anymore.
He was a man who was robbed of everything and he was ready to reclaim what was his.
His man.
His dignity.
And perhaps another baby.
He'd fight for the future he deserved.
____________________
The comforting, redolent scent of sizzling garlic,sesame oil and freshly chopped veggies covered the apartment long before the morning sun settled in the horizon.
Jimin staggered out of his bedroom,his eyes half opened and swollen and his hair sticking into his forehead. He dragged his feet towards the kitchen, expecting the usual insufferable silence that had accompanied him over the last months.
But instead, he was struck dumb,his jaw dropped on the floor and his eyes widened at the speed of lightning.
There he was!
Jungkook!
Freshly showered,dressed in a white T-shirt,purple shorts and a pink apron,humming a song under his breath as he flipped a perfectly shaped potato pancake in the pan. Across the kitchen counter several stackable, glass, tupperware containers and a thermal lunchbox were scattered.
" What in the.. ?" Jimin burst out, blinking his eyes as if he was hallucinating." Kook? Are you doing what I think you're doing? Cooking? At six thirty in the morning? Did papa's ghost possess you last night?"
Jungkook's head shifted, setting the pancake on a plate and a bright,genuine smile grazed his face. So beaming and gorgeous that made Jimin's heart leap with joy." Good morning Jiminshi!"
" Do you have a fever? Are you feeling alright? Should I call a doctor?" Jimin inquired, frowning but was still rooted to the spot because he was afraid if he moved, he'd somehow wake up.
" Nope! I'm fine. Go get Yoongi hyung and sit down for breakfast before it gets cold. I made your favourite kimchi stew."
Jimin scratched the back of his head." Yeah... thanks... but..." He slowly approached him, totally dazed, scanning at the endless amount of food on the counter. He pointed his index finger at the mountain of side dishes and desserts being packed into the containers.
"Mind explaining what is going on here? Unless our parents are hiding somewhere in the house waiting to pop out,this is enough food to feed an entire platoon. I'm on a diet.. I can't eat that much. So.. who is this all for?"
Jungkook didn't flinch,just smiled as he carefully slid another pancake onto the plate,his doe eyes flashing with a calmness and determination Jimin hadn't seen in a very long time. Perhaps never.
" The dishes on the table are for you and Yoongi hyung." Jungkook clarified, pointing at the table behind him." These ones are for Tae. All his favourites. Japchae, kimchi, potato pancakes and braised beef ribs with the sweet glaze he likes. He can't eat spicy food. I'm sending them to his office with a courier in half an hour."
Jimin saw red and instantly his breath caught in his throat. The morning peace was brutally shattered by raw panic and vexation. " Kim? Kim?" he repeated as if it was too hard to digest." Jeon Jungkook, have you gone mad? Have you lost your mind? Did what Yoongi told you last night twist your gears? Kim is a walking bomb right now! Sending him something so freaking domestic is like handing him a grenade with the safety pin pulled! He's gonna rip them to shreds and then come after you! He hasn't changed. He's still ruthless."
Jungkook wiggled his shoulders." I know he hasn't changed Jiminshi. I'm no fool." he responded with a serenity and without a hint of that self-pity he carried for weeks.
" Then what are you doing? Provoking him? "
Jungkook closed the containers, placing them neatly in the lunchbox bag along with a handwritten note." If that will get his attention...yeah. I am provoking him."
Jimin inhaled and exhaled through his nose to calm his raging heart and all that without his double dose of morning caffeine." You're asking for trouble Kook. You barely survived the ordeal. Are you seriously thinking of... of entering another war?"
" Tae is a pigheaded, arrogant mule who thinks he can survive on tasteless coffee and pure spite. But Jimin, remember how he pursued me in the past till I had nowhere to hide? He made me face who I really was and what I wanted to do. He made me realise where my heart was and took away my fears and doubts.He swallowed rejection after rejection, fought his own pride just to have me. Now it's my turn to do the same. I'm gonna win him back,break his walls and gain his trust. I'm going to make him understand."
Jimin was utterly lost for words. He scanned his friend from head to toe,his heart swelling with a peculiar mixture of fear and absolute joy. That vulnerable,crashed ghost that had been drowning in whiskey and vodka, trying to erase his existence was long gone and substituted by a conscious man with lava in his veins,ready to do whatever it takes to claim the person he loved.
The younger slowly reached out, grabbed both of Jimin's hands and gazed at him. " I know I should be angry at him for dismissing me the way he did. Any person with an ounce of brain would turn a blind eye and move on." He hummed a soft laugh." But I can't. I can't get angry at him. We have equal responsibility and I can't point fingers for what happened. I carried secrets and made decisions that ruined my relationship - or whatever you wanna call it - and caused me to lose my child. None of us knew I was pregnant and it makes my guilt stronger. Tae and I built our future on a contract,on a physical need and it was bound to end sooner or later."
Jungkook slightly squeezed his brother's hands and a timid smile formed on his lips." I have no pride when it comes to Tae. Despite the cruel way he treated me and the harsh words he said to me,I still love him. We had a child and I honestly believe he'd change if he knew."
" You'll tell him about the baby?" Jimin bellowed out,eyes widened in horror at the prospect of Jungkook being rejected again and Taehyung being nasty to him.
" He's got a right to know. It was his baby too. I said no more secrets and I mean it."
Jimin shook his head and released a heavy growl that was barely audible but it was there."The guy relied on what he thought he saw without letting you explain. He doesn't trust you Kook. He was ready to believe the worst for you without a shred of a doubt and let me remind you that when you got those photos you never doubted him."
Jungkook's eyes suddenly darkened, biting his lower lip." Even so,for a second there was doubt inside me and that's enough. I just loved him too much and needed to hold on to the belief it was a lie. And it was."
" You've got too much faith in him."
" It's called love, Jiminshi. For the first time in my life I know what love feels like and I need to live this. To live with him. To dream of a future by his side. I know I can make him love me,hyung. I trust my love for him. So I'm gonna start by flirting. Spoiling him.Chasing after him.. after the sun. Because that's what he is for me. My bright sun... my light and I wanna be his."
" Well, I honestly hope it doesn't blow on your face and I have to babysit you again because frankly you're no child's play." Jimin breathed, an affectionate yet sly smirk tugging his full lips,hugging him." I've always known you were a rebel without a cause and now you've turned into a rebellious brat with a cause. Don't know which one is worse. Launching a full-scale siege with home cooked meals was definitely not how I pictured it. You're a tactic genius Kook! Just make sure you wear a helmet if you're planning to meet Kim. He'll throw the boxes out the window and straight onto your big head."
Jungkook sighed out a warm, flowing giggle,the sound filling the room with a coziness that Jimin had missed. " Trust me,he won't. He finds my cooking irresistible. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I intend to find out if it's true."
Jimin rolled his eyes to the back, giving Jungkook a sideways glance." I wouldn't bet my money on that. He's a stubborn,old fox who'd rather swallow his own venom and choke on it than admit he made a mistake."
" We'll see.. I won't give up no matter what." Jungkook released Jimin's hands,steering him towards the door." Go wake up, hyung and enjoy your breakfast!"
______________________
At Kim's towering,glass building,the atmosphere on the executive floor was nothing but a warzone, smelling of gunpowder,blood,sweat and tears
" You are all completely incompetent!" Taehyung's hoarse voice, stripped of self control and surging out earsplitting growls and roars,echoed fiercely through the walls, shaking its mere foundations.
He slammed a black folder on his desk,the sound rumbling like a gunshot." Four million dollars is missing from the maritime logistics contract and your explanation is a clerical error? I'm warning you. If this isn't corrected within two hours, you can pack your things and head straight to the unemployment office." He gave a dismissive wave of his hand." Get out of my sight!"
The petrified manager literally sprinted out of the office, his face totally pale,head hanging low and trembling like a fish out of water.
Taehyung stood behind his desk, his chest rising and falling with intensity under his black tailored vest,a few strands of hair sticking on his forehead. He was a raging bull in a China shop,his anger had hit a fever pitch,driven by a sequence of sleepless nights and agonising nightmares and the ghost scent of a man he stubbornly refused to admit he missed.
A hesitant knock on the door forced him to straighten his posture as his secretary Jisoo walked in with two big,white thermal bags and a small envelope.
" Mr. Kim." she said in her usual professional tone, keeping her eyes on her boss. She wasn't afraid of his outbursts as it was an everyday routine for her." A courier just dropped these for you at the front desk. It's addressed directly to you."
" I'm in the middle of a corporate crisis,Jisoo! I have to deal with incompetence!I don't have time for deliveries." Taehyung's eyes snapped, flashing with anger." What is it?"
" It's food. And a note."
Taehyung's brows narrowed and his heart did an unexpected, violent flip against his ribs while his eyes locked on the bags. He signalled her to come closer and snatched the note from her hand, ripping it open with aggressive precision and an impatient flick of his wrist.
The handwriting was familiar,clean and rounded.
You need to take care of yourself more, Taehyung.
A searing torrent of conflicted emotions washed over him. A drowning wave of raw longing overridden by a surge of pure, undeniable arrogance. ' The nerve of that guy.' his mind raved,his knuckles shifting into snow-white as he crinkled the note into a tiny ball.
' The absolute, mocking audacity of that man. After everything he had done?After his betrayal? He dares to think he can crawl back into my life with such a cheap domestic trick? He actually thought food could erase the image of him under another man?
" Take them out!" Taehyung commanded,his voice exuding dominance and irritation, throwing the note in the dustbin.
" Sir? Are you certain?"
" I ordered you to get this garbage out of my office! " he tarted, tossing the bags violently across his desk but his secretary didn't even flinch." Throw them. Get rid of them. If I see another delivery on this floor, you're fired Jisoo. Go."
" As you wish Mr. Kim." Jisoo replied, picking up the bags and stepping out of the office and far away from the ' madman ',Taehyung 's new nickname for the last two months.
The door clicked behind him and Taehyung collapsed onto his black, leather chair. His mind was a withered warzone. Fueled by a frantic desperation to avoid thinking about Jungkook and sensing his presence everywhere,he buried himself under piles of files and financial documents.
He began studying the numbers and charts with focused precision, pushing himself to the edge in a frugal attempt to drown out the blazing yearning from imagining Jungkook moving around the kitchen with only an apron on,his round ass fully exposed and the tormenting truth of drooling over the delicious food he had just thrown out.
He flicked the pen between his fingers, taking a breather but nothing worked. His mind was stuck on the boy's slender figure,over the stove, sizzling and mixing ingredients, humming a soft tune, completely naked and hard, biting his lower lip while chopping fresh vegetables.
Taehyung's entire body burnt from desire, blots of sweat dripping from his hair,to his temples and down to his cheeks. The vest felt unbearably tight as his chest heaved and the bulge between his thighs could easily rip his pants out. He slumped back to his chair,fingers snatching the edge of the desk as each attempt to breathe was like piercing daggers stabbing his lungs.
He was hard.
He just got hard as a freaking rock in his office for a man that betrayed his trust.
He banged both fists on the surface, helpless and groaning at his weakness , every item on the desk rattled. The power Jungkook held on him was an open wound Taehyung couldn't heal. His brows wrinkled and eyes turned blood rimmed and slammed his hands on the surface once again.
" Fuck you,Jeon. Get out of my head. Fuck you."
_____________________
In the meantime, outside at the reception desks,an entirely different scene was unfolding. Jisoo,sitting in her usual spot, was baffled whether to throw the bags as ordered or not. The scent surging out of the containers was intoxicating, making her stomach growl from hunger.
SeoJoon's secretary from across the room,Hana sneaked over,her nostrils flaring at the smell. " Did the madman ask you to throw them away? It smells... divine! Like a five-star traditional restaurant!" She let out a deep sigh.
" He specifically asked me,not in a gentle way,to get them out of his office and into the trash." Jisoo murmured and leaned forward,checking around to see if anyone was watching before unzipping the first bag. She warily pulled out the glass containers, opening the lids to reveal the glistening ribs, japchae,and kimchi with the perfectly fluffy rice. She nearly fainted at the smell of sesame oil and garlic." It's a crime against humanity to throw away such heavenly food! Want a bite?"
Within seconds three more executive assistants had sneaked over, chopsticks at hand.
" Oooohhh my God!" Hana muffled, her eyes glowing at the taste while chewing a piece of beef." This is incredible! More than incredible! It practically melts in your mouth! Who sent them? A secret lover? A potential lover? I'll marry him on the spot if he doesn't want him!"
Another assistant,the younger one, shut her eyes in joy as she scooped up some rice and spinach." Whoever they are madman is a damn fool! If someone cooked like that for me, I'd worship the ground he walked on! Big boss has officially lost his mind!"
" He has taken madness to a whole new level." Jisoo pointed out, biting the tender ribs."Whoever this guy is, he's a master in the kitchen.I'd marry him if I wasn't already married. Better yet I'd adopt him and eat like a queen for the rest of my life!"
Across the desks, at the glass office overlooking the reception area, Seojoon stood tall,hands stuffed in his pockets, quietly observing the girls enthusiastically sharing Jungkook's food.
Of course it was his food. He had witnessed the entire explosive scene from Taehyung's office and he shook his head in total frustration. His patience was running out at how his friend was mishandling the situation.
His gaze crawled behind them at the closed door of Taehyung's office and a deep, long sigh slipped through his lips." You idiot! You goddamn idiot!" SeoJoon mumbled thought bare teeth." You're gonna fucken destroy yourself and drag us all down with you before you even admit you're wrong."
Understanding that expecting from Taehyung to find the logic to correct his mistakes and see past his own ego seemed like a battle already lost, Seojoon pulled out his phone and marched down the corridor towards the elevators.
As he scrolled through his contacts,he finally found a secure, coded number of the hacker he was working with when investigating corporate espionage and the club's illegal activities.
His finger pressed the dial, slowly stepping into the first available elevator as the call was picked up on the third ring.
" Hey, it's Park." he said,voice breaking into serious and arid." I need a small favour and in absolute discretion. Taehyung mustn't know."
" Alright boss. Send me everything you've got." the other man replied without asking further.
" Done. I don't care what you do or how you'll do it. What encrypted firewalls you have to bypass.I want results... yesterday. I want the truth."
" Got it. You'll get everything in a few days."
SeoJoon cut the call,put his phone back in his inside jacket pocket and leaned against the glass with a determined look on his sharp features." If you're too hooked on your massive ego,Tae... I'm gonna get to the bottom of this and shove down your throat myself."
And that was one thing Seojoon was set in doing.
____________________
Jungkook squeezed the keys in his palm and glanced at his motorcycle, parked on the pavement outside his apartment building. With everything that had happened,his Harley being in Taehyung's garage,had completely slipped his mind.
And now it was there,all shiny and ready to tear up the highway but Jungkook wasn't up for it as tempting as it looked. He ran his hand over the smooth metallic tank and smiled.
In an unhurried pace,he took it directly inside the underground parking of the building and headed upstairs. Half an hour later,a delivery crew had finished stacking the remaining boxes in the corridor. The rest of his clothes and shoes, some personal items, forgotten in Kim's bathroom and his gaming equipment from the playroom. Everything was returned like hazardous waste yet Jungkook didn't even flinch.
A delivery man handed him a small,black envelope and left. The handwriting was off - the - cuff and dripping poison.
Stop sending your trash to my company. It goes straight to the dumpster where it belongs. I warned you to stay the fuck away from me. Don't make me regret not killing you,Jeon.
Jimin with his arms crossed over his chest,stood in the hallway, staring at the pile of boxes with a sharp, defensive frown." Ok that's it! I'm ordering a hit on him. I'll use Yoongi's connections to stay out of the slammer! Oh come on, Jungkook! Look at this! Kim sent your entire life in boxes! Are you seriously gonna let that asshole.."
" Cool your jets,Jimin. He's panicking." Jungkook cut him off, softly,not bothering to turn around. Surprisingly,he didn't look defeated,he didn't even shed a single tear. Instead,he neatly folded the note and stuffed it in his pocket with a calming serenity that made Jimin wonder whether aliens had abducted his brother and sent his clone back.
The weeks in Busan had been a huge life lesson for Jungkook as they had taught him to come to terms with his past and reflect on his choices and mistakes. They had cleared the fog in his mind concerning Taehyung 's vile behaviour as well.
He knew Tae all too well,had studied his reactions for months.He was aware of his flaws,his trust issues,the egotistic part of his character but he had also seen his kindness,care and jealousy.
" Honestly I'm gonna do it! The nerve of that guy!" Jimin growled,cocking his head to the side,walking past the boxes and into the kitchen.
" Save your money, Jiminshi. If Tae didn't care,he wouldn't have bothered accepting my deliveries. He would have simply returned them." Jungkook's eyes were focused on chopping garlic,his lips tugged with a faint smile of awareness." He took the time to pack my stuff one by one and send them when he could have thrown them out the same way he did with me. It means I'm successfully driving him up the wall."
" I still don't get what you're trying to do."
" Simple. I'm reversing roles. Tae reacts the same way I did when he was pursuing me. I hated his guts or I thought I did. But eventually, under relentless pressure I gave in to passion." He placed his palm over the frying pan to check the temperature." Help me cut the bell peppers and carrots."
" You think it's gonna work with him? You've got history now. Bad history."
" I'm not naive. I'm counting on the passion he has for me and the effect I have on him. He still wants me and that's a start. It's gonna be tough and don't get me wrong I won't forgive him that easily. I fully intend to give him a hard time but I need him on his knees begging for forgiveness."
He threw a sideways glance at a stunned Jimin, standing next to him, munching on a piece of carrot." I told you to cut them, not eat them, shorty."
Jimin swallowed his bite and rendered a glance, ignoring his remark." If that even happens,make sure you sizzle him every minute of the day."
" When not if." Jungkook replied with a certainty that surprised Jimin." I love him and I won't deny it. I'm still madly in love with him and now I can give him something he never expected from me. Not in his wildest dreams."
Jimin's eyes frowned and snapped his head towards Jungkook." What...?"
The younger wiggled his brows in a teasing way." An heir for his empire. A continuation of the Kim legacy and name... A baby."
Jimin's eyes twinkled,wrinkles formed across his forehead and his jaw gapped as if he had a sting in his tail. " You're undeniably terrifying Jeon. You've gone from a miserable,crying puppy to a scheming mastermind. I'm shocked!"
Jungkook's laughter echoed through the whole apartment as he handed Jimin the knife." Back to work. I'm a man on a mission, shorty."
Jimin huffed and puffed slightly annoyed and stretched his hand to grab the knife." You won't let me off the hook, will you? Fine! Give me the goddamn knife."
As promised, Jungkook didn't lose hope. Over the next two weeks,he kept on cooking for Taehyung every day, packing new thermal boxes with the man's favourite food and snacks.
He continued to leave pink,sticky notes on the containers with different messages each time.
' It's unhealthy to skip lunch,hyungie.'
' You work so hard,baby and you need a reward.'
' Eat something sweet,my love. I've packed all your favourites.'
He was acting so lovey - dovey with him,like a lovesick, fluffy bunny that he could hardly recognise himself but he absolutely loved it.
____________________
During this time, the top floor of Kim's company and the executive office no longer smelt of expensive cologne and leather. It had the scent of sin and sesame oil.
Kim Taehyung was the king of hell, losing his throne to absolute madness. Inside his office the air was static and foul,stocked with the heavy,thick cloud of smoke and the harsh burn of whiskey.
Tae hadn't been to his penthouse in six straight days and had turned his office into a prison of his own will. Sleeping only two hours every night in the empty room behind his office,making it a temporary bedroom of nightmares and desire.
He was choking his own sins in bottles of expensive whisky and cigars and couldn't distinguish whether it was day or night. His bloodshot eyes,decorated with intense dark circles,gazed widely at the piles of documents and charts on his desk and while his mind was shouting for a break,his pride denied him even that.
Each time a delivery was made, each time a note arrived,it felt like a massive blow to his sanity. He understood he was supposed to hate Jungkook's guts. He knew he was a liar and a cheater. He had repeatedly shouted those words in his brain when lust and desire threatened to swallow him whole.
Then why the hell did his chest hurt with a heartfelt pain every time he saw those stupid, childish notes?
Why couldn't he breathe each time he thought of him, shaking uncontrollably in the passenger's seat of his car?
Why the fuck couldn't he erase the fear in his eyes in that hotel room?
Because now,after everything,it resembled fear and not lust... Could he have been so wrong?
No.
He knew what he saw.
He wouldn't let himself be fooled by a traitor like Jeon.
And the only way to shut out the meddling thoughts was to bury himself in work. But not even there could he find peace.
" What the hell do you mean the report isn't finalized?" Taehyung roared, thrashing his fist on the desk so violently it nearly cut it in half. He lunged out of his chair,hands gripping tightly on the edge of the shiny surface,towering over the trembling man that had shrunk in his place, hoping he could somehow disappear.
" I don't give a fuck about the port strike. Hire new crew. Buy the damn docks if necessary. If the report isn't on my desk in one hour... If the matter isn't handled, I will personally fire you and make sure you never work in this country again. Get out! Get the hell out of my office!"
The man staggered for the exit,almost falling flat on the ground and making a fool of himself. Sitting on the couch, Seojoon observed Taehyung 's pathetic performance and rage unfolding and was debating whether to laugh or cry at his stupidity.
The toxic aura and the acidic bite of whiskey and smoke was suffocating so he had no choice but to stand up,move towards the windows and slightly open them just to let the sun get in and the stinking smell out.
" You're going on a bender, Taehyung." SeoJoon stated smoothly with a hint of mockery, leaning against the glass pane and burying his hands into his beige pants." You stink like a Scottish distillery and cheap brothel. It's getting ridiculous and tiring."
" Shut the fuck up, Seojoon." Taehyung barked out, trying not to sniff the heavy scent wrapping his figure. He was totally shredded from drinking and smoking and had even grown a faint beard. He sank into his leather chair, roughly rubbing his temples, eyes stinging from the lack of proper sleep." If you've got nothing useful to say,go. I'm not in the mood for your lectures. I'm swamped with work because of their incompetence."
" Mmm... I can see that. You're extremely busy terrorising your employees and turning your liver into pate." Seojoon let out a scoff and a mocking glow settled in his eyes while walking over to the desk. His hand reached out and grabbed a pink note that had been crumpled and forgotten between a stash of files."Interesting... is the lovesick bunny still breaking your defences? Is he still bombing you with love food? I hear the secretaries are literally running a black market trading ring for Jungkook's delicacies. Jisoo gained three kilos in two weeks.They're even making bets on who's gonna marry him." He shook his head, grinning." The one who will be one lucky man or woman. Don't you think so?
The marriage part made Taehyung clench his fists under the desk but his expression maintained that usual cold indifference." I ordered him to stop." he replied calmly,nails digging into his palms." He's got the nerve to act as if he cares about me. A cheap game. He's a master at that. Trying to manipulate me with food because he knows I'm weak for him."
" Well... well.. so you admit it. You're weak for him. Finally some honesty." SeoJoon smirked, leaning over the desk,the note at hand.
Taehyung's face grimaced in disapproval." I'm not weak for him. I meant the food." he yelled,his serene composure fracturing as he popped up slamming his fists onto the desk."He betrayed me. Broke my trust. Broke the rules. Now he's trying to win me over with food by playing housewife? Like nothing happened? It's driving me crazy. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't think. I can't taste anything else. I close my eyes and I see his face and... and it's.. I hate him. End of story." He drifted off mid - sentence,his breath ragged and a faint hint of vulnerability cracked through his eyes.
SeoJoon's expression from mocking blurred into genuine pity. He watched his best friend go from one catastrophic choice to the other, robbing himself of happiness and drenching in his own egotistic pride.
Taehyung was running on pure adrenaline and raw anger,too scared to admit the possibility of misjudging and mishandling a situation. Kim Taehyung didn't make mistakes.
" Oh you're a modern, Greek tragedy, buddy." SeoJoon mumbled, rolling his eyes and giving him a blank stare. He turned on his heels and marched towards the door but paused on the threshold, peering over his shoulder at his friend." And they rarely have a happy ending. You're a self-destructive machine in a custom-made suit and polished shoes." He huffed deeply." Just hold on to whatever sanity you have left for just a few days. The truth is coming out whether you like it or not. Only this time you can't escape it."
The investigation took longer than expected due to some technical issues but it was on its way.
" Hey! What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
" You're smart. Figure it out."
That left Taehyung more baffled than ever...
______________________
The tireless, smothering siege of Jungkook's love had Taehyung trapped in a corner. Bags of food continued to be delivered, accompanied by pink and purple notes of love words and the entire company had transformed into a Korean barbecue restaurant.
He couldn't breathe. Couldn't focus. The situation was getting out of hand and beyond his control. And for a control freak like Taehyung,used to having absolute power over his life, this absurdity was nerve-wracking.
Across the street from Kim Corporation parked like a dark shadow on his black Harley, Jungkook would closely observe the towering building.
He didn't hide his presence.
On the contrary,he was shouting it.
" Look at me. I'm here. Watching you. Loving you. And I'll keep coming...'
He leaned on the seat of his bike in a black, leather jacket,the sun trapping the sharp line of his jaw,his freshly washed hair swaying against the slight breeze,his hands resting inside his tight, black jeans.
A living, breathing reminder of a figure Taehyung was desperately trying to erase. Of a past he was so determined to eliminate. Of persistent images he so wanted to escape from.
Taehyung saw him.
As soon as he exited the front door of his glass building,his gaze instantly drilled into him and immediately turned bleak and bare.
For a moment,a single moment that felt like forever, Taehyung allowed himself to ravish him,his eyes tracing every inch of Jungkook's figure. He was thinner than he remembered but the broad shoulders and chest remained. His waist seemed more narrow than before but equally seductive.
Fuelled by wrath, insomnia, whiskey and pure desperation to prove to the whole world but mostly to himself that he didn't give a damn about that cheater, Taehyung did the unthinkable.
Once again he acted on impulse, turning a blind eye to the warnings in his head and decided to do something totally irrational.
The same night,he visited an exclusive, underground bar downtown,had a couple of drinks, shameless l flirted,picked up two pretty,soft - faced young men and drove them straight to his penthouse.
It was a pitiful,wretched declaration of independence. ' Look at me. I'm the king. I don't need him. I can fuck others,as many as I want.'
And he actually thought,with the small ounces of brain he had left that it would work...