" Tae.."
The sound that left his lips wasn't a word.
It was a scream of horror torn loose from his chest.
He crossed the room in quick strides and picked up his phone. He post - haste called Taehyung. Straight to voicemail. He tried again and again and again till his finger hurt and the screen nearly shredded to pieces.
He shut his eyes,drew in a deep,hollow breath and in his panic he dialed the hotel number but obviously it was dead. The police line was busy when he tried it next. He insisted, gnashing his teeth, restlessly prowling till it was answered.
His voice cracked before even finishing asking the question." Kim.. Kim Taehyung.. he was at the hotel in Phuket.. Is he a- alive?" They put him on hold. Then brushed him off without any sort of information." Please I need to know if he's ok." he grumbled,too loud,too fast.
" I'm sorry sir. We can disclose any information regarding an ongoing investigation."
Hell,he wouldn't let him go so easily. The man blubbered something about procedures, protocol, requesting him to show patience but to Jungkook it felt obscene. He hung up with a loud thang and cursed. " No.. it's gotta be a mistake. He's fine. He has to be.. but that's definitely his hotel.. I remember it.."
At a rate of knots, he put on his sneakers,hands clumsy and jittery,chest tight and throbbing, snatched a black jacket,sprinted out of the penthouse, banging the door behind him,into the corridor and promptly into the elevator putting aside his phobia.
His mere thought was to get to the company as soon as possible to find out what the hell was going on. He hailed a taxi the minute the cold morning breeze smashed his face.
The ride was hell. Doors shutting,too fast,too tight,air too damn thick, breaking out in cold sweat but his fear of losing Taehyung overrode panic. By the time they screeched to a halt outside the company Jungkook was already unraveling.
He dismissed the security guards at the entrance chasing after him,the woman at the front desk yelling that he couldn't go upstairs unless he had an appointment and decisively slipped inside the elevator, breathing sharply. Once on the last floor,he hunted around door by door, ignoring the strange looks till he found Seojoon's.
He didn't knock.
The door flew open hard enough to rattle the glass.
Every head turned towards the commotion.
Taehyung's friends were present. Their faces clenched like fists, postures rigid. Jungkook was far worse than them. His gorgeous features were distorted, lids heavy, eyes glassy and swollen with a sheen of unshed tears. Lips shaky and unsteady. In total he resembled someone utterly despondent.
" Where is he? Jungkook demanded, voice raw, unrecognisable even to his ears." Where is Taehyung? Why won't anyone tell me where the fuck he is? Why are you staring at me like idiots?"
" Jungkook.."
" Sir please." one of the officers,a medium height man in his fourties and Seojoon said in unison.
" Don't start!" I demand to know where my man is and you'd better tell me. I've called the police station and they brushed me off."
The officer continued, raising his hands slightly but Jungkook hadn't even noticed him barging in." Please calm down."
" You don't get to tell me to calm down! " Jungkook snapped, advancing two steps in his direction." How the hell can I do that? A bomb exploded. People were there. My man was there. And you're standing here asking me to cool my jets? Are you out of your freaking minds? I need answers, not advice. I need you to do your fucken job and find him."
Seojoon moved quickly,placing his body subtly between them because Jungkook was out of it,on the verge of attacking the man and he had no time bailing him out of jail for assaulting an officer of the law. He had bigger fish to fry!
" Jungkook." He whispered in a breath." We're trying to make some sense of this. Please try to remain calm."
" You're sitting hyung. Sitting in the safety of your comfortable office. That's not trying." Jungkook shot back, eyes spitting rage."Taehyung might be hurt.. buried under piles of wreckage unable to breathe." Jungkook sucked in a deep inhale, trapped in his throat. Even words hurt at that point.
The thought of Tae.. his Tae trapped under heavy ruins,injured and helpless with no way to get help.. blood.. red,thick blood gushing out of his body.. His hand landed on his pounding chest, attempting to swallow but it seemed vain." He's out there. Alone. I can't.. I won't lose him.."he lisped,words jumping out against his will, without restraint.
The office vibrated with tension.
Someone mumbled Jungkook's name again,gentler this time but he barely heard it. The image of injured or unconscious Taehyung had formed in his mind, refusing to abandon him.
" Sir, I understand your frustration but at this point we are still in the process of investigating and certain procedures must be followed to avoid creating panic.." the younger officer explained.
Jungkook abruptly cut him off, grounding his teeth. If Seojoon wasn't standing close he would have ripped his head off." Fuck your stupid rules. Fuck your fucken procedures. You don't get to hide behind them like freaking cowards. Go to Phuket and find out. Search, dig with your hands if you have to. Bring him back. Alive!"
" I'm afraid we can't.."
" If you know something you're not telling us, that's not professionalism. That's cruelty." he blasted out,voice now trembling,rage giving way to fear.
His words felt heavy.
Jungkook said exactly what was on everyone's mind but was kept inside.
Seojoon held his hand as Woo Shik walked to his side. They were all bleeding for Taehyung. The uncertainty of his situation was an open wound. Peakboy and Hyung Sik could barely move. It felt so unfair,so unreasonable a business trip ending in absolute tragedy.
And watching Jungkook's horrific state made it even more difficult. The younger was hurting in a way they weren't expecting as they hadn't taken Seojoon's explanations about their relationship seriously, knowing Taehyung didn't do well with affairs, intimacy, emotions and commitment.
The officer's expression softened." We're still confirming identities and injuries. The searching crews are having difficulty in reaching deeper as there was a high- yield explosion. The Thai police are very cautious about disclosing new information unless they are verified. So far no fatalities have been reported."
" So far? " Jungkook echoed, a laugh breaking out of his mouth,sharp and wrong.. totally wrong." That's supposed to help? It's supposed to comfort me? He's not dead yet. We're doing absolutely nothing to find him but we'll tell you when or if we do? That's a load of crap!" the boy snarled, clenching his fists,ready to lash out his wrath and heartfelt pain on the poor officer standing in close proximity.
With a violent jerk and a foggy mind,he launched himself towards the man,fists raised and about to punch. Seojoon's response however was faster, throwing his body into the line of attack as a shield." Settle down. Don't do anything you'll regret. Taehyung needs you."
Jungkook scoffed, squeezing his fists harder, nails pricking his flesh." Don't tell me what to do."
" They have their orders. Simply doing their job."
" Hell they do! Their job is to find my man. Not sit around making excuses for their incompetence. They ought to be searching for him,for survivors."
He was right.
Once more he was to the point.
Everyone present was all at a loss.
Words of comfort were hard to be spoken, foolish excuses were difficult to be given. They were dead sick with worry and Jungkook in his pain was the only voice of reason.
" Find him. Bring him back to Korea.. back to me.. in one piece or else.." Jungkook's knees finally betrayed him. The air was insufficient to keep him functional and adrenaline was buzzing in his veins. Seojoon and Woo Shik caught him before he hit the floor, steady hands grounding him, guiding him to the nearest chair.
" Breathe." Seojoon whispered to his ear, massaging his hands." Just breathe. He's fine. He's alive. I bet my life on it."
It took Jungkook time to pull himself together.
Too much time to process the stark reality.
Time that was deprived of his man.
Valuable time Taehyung didn't have.
And when his anger had burnt itself out,it left behind exhaustion, helplessness and an excruciating pain consuming his body.
He gulped hard,pressed his shaky palms together, nails digging into his pale skin, trying to stay upright and not crumble to pieces. He had to be strong for Taehyung.
" I should have said something.. anything to keep him here." he murmured honestly more to himself than those present. His face was steeped in guilt, bitterly regretting keeping his mouth shut when his guts warned him." I didn't want to interfere in his work and act like a spoiled brat.. I thought.. I actually thought we had more time.. I did.. and now.."
Seojoon observed him with a look that wasn't pity but closer to recognition. Their relationship was more than a contract,more than a signature,more than words written on a piece of paper, more than a mutual deal.
It was.. it felt real.
It was a testimony of care and affection..
Perhaps even love..?
" You couldn't have known Jungkook. None of us could. If we could foresee the future we'd do things differently. Don't beat yourself up for things you can't control."
A phone rang in the distance. Then another one. Conversations overlapped, information arriving in fragments, incomplete but no longer empty.
Finally one sentence cut through the noise.
So far Taehyung hadn't been in the wing that took the blast. A few bodies were drawn up and identified but Tae wasn't among them.
Hope.
A shred of hope bloomed in everyone.
Jungkook shut his eyes,breath leaving him in a shudder that felt like collapse and survival together. No news is good news.
He wasn't calm. Not really. However the panic and desperation in his heart had loosened the grip just enough to welcome hope. The kind of hope that would put a smile back on his face and his heart in its place. As of now..
The officers' departure went unnoticed because their attention was focused on the boy whose pain tore their hearts.
" See?" Woo Shik asked in a reassuring tone, tapping his back." He's too hard to die."
Peakboy who was standing near the window,dipped in his thoughts, spoke." He's a tough guy, Jungkook. Wherever he is, remember this is Kim Taehyung we're talking about. He's perfectly fine.. I'm sure of it."
Hyung Sik continued in the same encouraging tone because the younger surely needed it."I'm holding on to the hope that he'll weather the storm and we'll soon have the news we want. Hang in there Jungkook."
His glassy eyes met the man's." Then why hasn't he called us? If he's safe why doesn't he contact you or me? Why silence?"
The questions hang in the air, unanswered. Seojoon and Woo Shik exchanged looks. Peakboy turned towards the window with an unreadable expression as Hyung Sik leaned against the wall,hands in his pockets.
" Not knowing is the worst part." Jungkook hummed softly,thoughts swirling chaotically, resting his elbows on his knees,fingers grazing his skull. The pain was excruciatingly unbearable, piercing his soul. " Yeah, he's strong but not even Taehyung can survive a blast…"
That possibility forced his brain to hit a wall and his nerves jangled with a million silent alarms.
He was scared.
Scared to death.
Scared to consider that Taehyung wouldn't come back to him.
Deafening silence returned to the office but this time it was different.
Heavier as if the shadow of death was circling them.
Whatever this was,it was hardly from over.
And whoever had gone quiet for the last few months had picked the loudest possible way to declare his presence.
Seojoon couldn't help but wonder if their investigation was responsible for the explosion. A bomb at a hotel wouldn't raise suspicions on 'who' they were actually targeting. It was vague. On the contrary,an individual attempt against Taehyung's life would look more fishy to the authorities and they would be compelled to conduct an investigation.
Seojoon couldn't share his thoughts,only pray to God that his friend was safe.
" You've got a cigarette? " Jungkook asked out of the blue, breaking the stillness." Left in a hurry and forgot to take mine."
Hyung Sik offered him one and lit it with his golden lighter. Jungkook's fingers tapped incessantly against the cigarette,inhaling sharply as if he was trying to pull calmness from the tobacco,then slowly exhaled,the smoke forming a veil between him and the rest of the world. He strangely found encouragement in it.
He was tired.
Tired of speaking.
Tired of thinking.
Tired of feeling.
Fuck he was emotionally drained.
A warm hand tapped his shoulder. " Let me take you home. There's nothing more you can do here. Come.."
Jungkook threw him a slight nod but the truth of the matter was he hated going back to the penthouse alone. A house where everything was a living, breathing memory of Taehyung's presence and absence.
It was devastating.
Nerve-wracking.
A thorn in his bleeding heart.
It ached his chest in a way it frightened him.
Living without him..
Breathing without him..
Existing without him..
And all those rollercoaster of emotions for a guy he was constantly declaring he didn't even like..
A few months ago he hated the sight of him and there he was, praying for just a phone call. One fucken call.A chance to hear his voice.
How tables are turned!
And then the realization slammed him hard. If he was alive but unable to contact him on his phone,he might try at the house and Jungkook had to be there just in case.." Ok.. Let's head out." He sprang up, wanting to reach home the quickest way possible." Taehyung might call."
Woo Shik grabbed his wrist while hobbling to the door,head hanging low, eyes blinking, cigarette still burning at hand." He's alive. Mark my words Jungkook. We'll stop by later if you're up to it."
The younger's chin dipped once,a mechanical gesture.
" Hang in there Jungkook." Hyung Sik said in a sympathetic tone,not knowing what more to say.
" Yeah.. he'll be back before you know it." Peakboy chimed in as well." Tough guy, that bastard!"
They observed the boy walking away, shoulders shrugged,head hanging while Seojoon quietly followed him.
______________
The ride at the back of a black limo was locked in silence. Each of the two men absorbed in their mental undertow,were dawdling out the window. Cars speeding,tyres screeching on the wet road, unfamiliar faces strolling the sidewalks,giving a lovely unhurried feel when inside the car time had frozen still.
Before getting out, Seojoon held his hand." Tae is tough. He's gonna come back safe and sound." He wrestled with the words clogged in his throat but nevertheless he spoke." You know Jungkook, it's ok to like someone.. it's natural.. but that doesn't give you foresight. Sometimes it gives you fear. "
All he got in return wasn't a denial but silence. Jungkook squeezed his lips,made a sound of assent and got out. Dragging his feet past the huge entrance into the elevator,out the corridor and eventually into the penthouse.
For a moment,he actually expected to hear Taehyung 's voice welcoming him but the place was as empty as a grave.Only the TV was left open. Warily he threw his shoes in a corner and sat on the couch,a deep sigh escaping his mouth.
The sequence of mixed emotions was crashing his mentality and he was grappling to cope with them.. A heartrending fear. Sorrow. Rage. Anxiety. Hope..?
Even so his soul remained rigid and desolate,haunted by the terrifying prospect of not seeing him walking through the door. Not hearing his deep,hoarse voice that gave him chills. Not sniffing his musky scent. Not hugging and touching the body that changed his entire world and made him open up to new possibilities.
Fingers ranked through his messy hair, gripping the phone tightly between his fingers as he slumped back to the couch, staring at the snow- white ceiling but not actually looking.
He remained that way God knows for how long. His strength was drained and the phone wouldn't ring. That bloody machine wouldn't ring and it was killing him.
That fucken image preying on his mind was present,not that it had ever left. Taehyung,injured and fighting for his life,covered in blood, trapped under heavy concrete, unable to breathe or move, screaming for help that wouldn't come or even worse. Lying unconscious.. half dead..
Jungkook's body spasmed,his limbs trembling uncontrollably.
He never,in his wildest dreams, expected that turn of events. Worrying about the person who once stirred his stomach in disgust and drove him to the bathroom puking more times that he could count.
The stirring was there but for a completely different reason now. From the fear of loss. Of losing him. Of losing Kim Taehyung…
No,he wasn't merely frightened.
He was petrified.
And the damn phone wouldn't ring.
_____________
Jimin arrived as soon as he read the news on the net. The sites had extensive reports about the deadly explosion in the hotel resort in Phuket and when Taehyung's name was mentioned,his first thought was Jungkook.
His friend was a ghost of himself. Pale, gloomy,shaking, mumbling at times,eyes hollow. Jimin hadn't anticipated that sort of devastation and it came as a shock but in his heart he always knew it would come to that.
He was uncertain of how or when but he was convinced that sooner or later Jungkook would develop feelings for Taehyung,even unconsciously. However,Jimin hated the way he was forced to acknowledge them.
He hugged his friend, stroked his hair, sensing the trembling, feeling the wild pounding of his heart. Simple words of encouragement and support sounded cliché,not to say ridiculous,so he stayed by his side without talking and asking.
Minutes turned to hours and Jungkook was a raging bull in a china shop, pacing back and forth, barefoot on the cold marble floor, phone squeezed tightly in his hand as if the pressure could force it to cooperate.
He called.
Voicemail.
Called again.
Voicemail.
Then again.
Nothing.
The screen stared back at him, battery bleeding away with each unanswered attempt.
" He has to pick up.. he has to.. he doesn't get to leave me so easily.. " Jungkook mumbled through gritted teeth,words tumbling over each other." He just has to.. he always picks up.. one ring.. two.. he answers on three.. he hates missed calls.. he does.."
Jimin was sitting on the couch a few feet away, hunched forward, elbows on his knees, watching him with quiet attentiveness. He hadn't tried to stop him from pacing. You don't cage panic. You let it burn itself out into something even worse.
At that moment Jungkook's judgement was clouded and was acting on pure adrenaline."Jungkook." he said gently,when the phone vibrated weakly and then went dark with the younger one rushing to recharge it." It's dead. No matter how many times you call, he won't answer. I'm sorry baby.."
Jimin's remark fell on deaf ears." Kook! Quit already. He won't answer."
" Don't say that!"he yelled at the top of his lungs,his frustration seeking a way out." God! This is a fucken nightmare! Every time I call,I hope to hear his voice and end up with nothing.."
" Perhaps he's in the sticks with no reception and no way to contact you."
" He'd find a way. He always does."
Jimin sighed. No matter what he told him,Jungkook's mind was set in believing what he wanted." In case anything new comes up, Seojoon hyung will tell you."
Jungkook's eyes were glued on the cordless phone in his other hand and roared a broken laughter." You think? Why? What am I to him rather than just another boy toy? I saw the look on their faces.. for them I'm only an outsider. Someone who's worried his sugar daddy is dead and will lose his money! " He was exaggerating in his description but things considered he had a point. They didn't know as well as he did to understand his genuine concern.
" You're being unfair."
" Am I? I don't believe so."
" Then.. would you like to become something more than his toy?"
" I.. why.. ask me that?" he scratched his head.
" You obviously care about him. It isn't just sex. Have you considered the possibility of feelings involved?"
Jungkook's feet seized to a halt,his fingers still squishing the device." I don't want him dead.. that's all."
" How do you want him then?" Jimin raised an eyebrow in question.
" Here. With me. Busting my balls with his arrogance… hearing him whine about me cleaning the house for the crew to find it spotless.. drinking my coffee which he hates but does it just to indulge me.. spoiling me with extravagant gifts despite my objections… honouring our fucken deal. I want him in this house,in our bed."
Jimin shook his head, rolling his eyes to the back,his voice barely above a whisper." How hard is it to admit you like the guy?" He cleared his throat, staring straight into his glassy eyes."You'll get your chance, bunny. Make sure you live it to the fullest."
" He's alive.. I know he is.."
" I bet my gorgeous face on it. He's a tough guy."
Jungkook huffed." You all keep saying that! He's not indestructible! "
" He's got a damn good reason to stay alive."Jimin jeered, winking at him.
" And that's what?" he frowned.
" You bunny! You and your bonny, little ass. I think he can't wait to come back and pound that ass of yours!"
" He better be!" For a brief moment he forgot his worries but soon he breathed out the burden of the world,his chest crushed by an unbearable weight. He threw the phone on the couch next to Jimin and dragged his hands through his hair, sensing his breath coming out, shallow and fast.
" I asked the manager for a couple of days off. Told him we had to visit the family."
" I couldn't give a damn about the stupid club. They can fire me for all I care!" Jungkook screeched, punching his fist in the air.
He began pacing again, faster now, mumbling,half- praying,half- accusing, occasionally halting then pacing again. When the phone finally rang, Jungkook nearly stumbled in his hurry to grab it.
Hope gave its place to despair.
Seojoon had called to inform him that there was no news of Taehyung and that the rescue teams had seized activities for the night, purposely leaving out the rest of the information he received. Jungkook's mentality wouldn't survive another blow.
The phone slipped from his fingers, thrashing onto the floor as Jungkook's stomach coiled,hands covering his mouth and dashed to the downstairs bathroom, stumbling his way, doubling over the toilet as a convulsive heave gushed out.
The bitter, burning tide erupted with a force that left him gasping,shaking, eyes watery,nose sniffling,strings of saliva connecting his mouth to the sickening puddle in the toilet.
Jimin, who had rushed after him,found him sitting on the floor,hands holding the seat bolt and helped him stand up, flashing it down."Feeling better?"
" No.. I feel like shit." Jungkook with Jimin's help,stood by the sink, avoiding gazing himself in the mirror, afraid of what he might see and washed down the bitterness with plenty of cold water. " They stopped searching. They left him there.. alone.. Oh Jimin! I don't know what to do. I can't.. I won't lose him." His voice was a cry for help.
" First and above all we keep on to hope. Second, I'm taking you to bed to get some rest."
" I can't sleep."
" Then, don't. Just rest." He took him upstairs and into the bedroom, practically forcing him to lie in bed above the covers. " Have you eaten anything?" Jungkook's silence gave him the answer. " I'll make you some soup." he offered but the boy shook his head as a no. He couldn't tolerate the thought of eating.
" Fine.. a cup of tea to calm you. I'll be right back."
Tea didn't offer any kind of comfort. It didn't calm his nervous system, didn't take away his sorrow and anger. He gulped it down in small sips but it tasted foul and bitter.
Seojoon called a few times as well as Taehyung's other friends just to check up on Jungkook but Jimin did all the talking. Yoongi came over after his shift and observing Jungkook's state,he merely hugged him without asking and stepped outside to talk to Jimin.
" The whole club is on edge. Even customers were asking what the hell's going on." Yoongi leaned against the wall,a long sigh escaping his mouth.
" I never thought I'd see Jungkook so desperate." Jimin wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's neck, nuzzling his head in his nape." I'm scared what will happen if Taehyung is.. you know.." he couldn't even finish the sentence.
" He's not. Kim is a survivor." Yoongi was hardly the optimistic guy and his experience had shown him that in situations like that if survivors haven't been found within the first forty eight hours, it's highly unlikely to be alive. He kept that to himself.
" Did you find out anything as I asked you?"
" They've stopped searching for now. They'll continue tomorrow. I've contacted a friend from the Thai police and that's all I know so far."
" Any leads on who's responsible?"
Yoongi caressed his hair in gentle moves."There were two bombs. One inside the restaurant,a stuffed toy nobody paid attention to and the second, a phone, in the west wing where Kim's suite was. Talk about a nasty blast to create chaos! They're still interrogating the staff and the guests but up until now they've got nothing. Only that the devices were Command- Initiated IED, remotely triggered and apparently made by a military pro."
" I see.. " Jimin hugged him tighter, putting himself in Jungkook's shoes and shivered. If anything happened to Yoongi he would die too. They talked for a while, then Yoongi left and Jimin returned to Jungkook.
He saw him pacing again,a cigarette burning in his right hand,the phone in his left one. The night passed with Jimin trying to encourage and calm Jungkook while the younger was constantly smoking and drinking, prowling like a caged animal and with regular visits to the bathroom to puke.
By dawn the room reeked of heavy,thick smoke and booze.
________________
The sudden ringing of the doorbell froze them both.
Jungkook was lying still on the couch,a thick blanket covering his stiff body,both phones on his stomach while Jimin was in the kitchen making some strong coffee because he had spent the entire night sitting on a bloody chair and his ass had gone numbed. There wasn't a part of his body that didn't hurt.
Seojoon stood there when Jimin rushed to open the door. Shoulders shrugged and heavy, dark circles under his eyes,his face a map of grief,suit wrinkled.
He didn't enter immediately.
He lacked the courage but his features spoke loud and clear. Fatigue shadowed his gaze,his lips pressed into a stern,thin slash.
Jungkook surged up from the couch,blanket cast aside, nearly thrown off balance,the room spinning." No.." he said in a breath." NO. DON'T. DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT!"
Seojoon slowly shut the door behind,the sound final in a way Jungkook hated. He already hated the news he brought." Jungkook.."
The boy tossed his head to the side." Hyung.. please don't.. " It felt as if his whole world was tearing apart and he had no control over it. "No.. I thought we.. we had time.. more time.." bled from him in a breathless, voiceless hush.
" I'm sorry.. " Seojoon's voice broke." They stopped the search. The structure is unstable and too dangerous. They can't risk sending more men in."
Jungkook waggled his head, backing away steadily like hoping the distance would undo the news." That's bullshit! They always say that because they don't wanna try. Order them to go back!
" Jungkook.." Seojoon ruffled his hair, averting his gaze.
" Hyung, what is it that you're holding back?" Jimin asked, moving closer to his friend." Did they find him?"
" There's more. More, you're not telling me." Jungkook gulped hard, pressing his palm on his throbbing heart." Say it! Just fucken say it!" he snapped, unable to control his tongue. Hearing it would make it real..
Seojoon shut his eyes,then opened them to face him." They.. found him.. in his suite.. his body and face were beyond recognition.. they'll do a dental identification but.. it's him.. his watch.. I gave him that as a gift last Christmas… for his birthday.I'm so sorry Jungkook." Seojoon stuffed both hands in his pockets, lowering his head, anguish and guilt tormenting his face.
" You're lying. No.. that's not true. " He raised his hands, voice cracked,eyes filled with tears,he was suppressing for too long, dribbling down his ghostly pale cheeks." You don't dare say that." He was suffocating. The air had drained and all that was left was the extensive pounding of his heart in his chest moving up and down, the dizziness in his head,the void in his eyes and a relentless helix in his guts.
All of the sudden,he exploded.
Violently.
Fiercely.
A vase thrashed against the wall, shattering to pieces.
An armchair scraped and overturned.
Jungkook screamed out words he didn't understand.
Cursed fate.
Cursed Taehyung.
Cursed himself for letting him go.
Cursed for every unsaid thing.
His heart was torn into a billion pieces that would never be put back together.
His soul had left his body, collapsing on his knees, between shattered glasses, trembling, breathing as if he had run a marathon,fingers gripping tightly on the coffee table, shaking it with force.
Tears wouldn't seize. They were flowing uncontrollably. And for someone like Jungkook who hid his vulnerability behind sarcasm and indifference, crying in plain sight,a genuine scream of his deep pain.
He cried,grieved,wept like a baby,like never before, roaring in despair, wailing in rage, cursing, scuffling to breathe.
The two men felt helpless. Watching him grieve and crying, was the only thing they could do at that point. What could you say to a person who has lost a part of his life that mattered to him?
" No.. no.. this isn't hap- happening.. don't you dare tell me he's.. dead.. he's not. Taehyung doesn't get to die.. in some fucken hotel.. alone.. No. This is a mistake. Tae wouldn't die. He can't." he shrieked, chest heaving,fists clenched, banging the table,jaw tightened.
Jimin instinctively took a step towards him, staying close but not actually touching, feeling his pain." Kook,baby.. "
" Don't! " he gritted his teeth. " Stay the hell away." he warned him, stretching his fist in menace.
Seojoon,in his anguish for losing his best friend,his brother, observed. He observed closely.His movements,his gestures,his heartfelt reactions. Eyes puffy from shedding tears,face distorted from grief,body shuddering.
That wasn't just pain and wrath.
It was far deeper.
It wasn't just a concern.
It was pure, undeniable devastation.
Everything became clear.
His gaze met Jimin's. They both nodded in agreement. Love doesn't need to be named. It doesn't need to be explained with fancy words or extravagant gestures to be recognised.
Their only sorrow was that those two souls wouldn't get the opportunity to connect and speak of feelings.
Jungkook had always been pigheaded. One of his many flaws as people frequently had pointed out.Ever since he was a kid he was told that the extensive stubbornness, indolence and resolve he constantly exhibited,would get in the way of a bright future because no one would tolerate that sort of attitude.
It was exactly that crisisism that armed him with perseverance. He had no time for self-pity or weeping like a fucken pussy.
He wiped the tears on his face with his palms and stood up, expression hollowed out into a frightening calmness and admirable tenacity.
" I'm going to Phuket."