Imashino Misaki, a member of the Arius Squad.
Isn't she, perhaps, the most mentally unstable character in the bright and wholesome world of Blue Archive?
It's true that Hoshino, who has experienced the rare Kivotos tragedy of losing someone close to her, is also in a precarious state. The environment of Abydos itself hasn't been kind to her, either.
But Misaki had to survive in Arius, one of the harshest environments in all of Kivotos. A life of never being able to fill her hungry stomach, of subsisting on stagnant water just to stay alive.
Her mind was further warped by the nihilism Beatrice injected into her, and the only thing holding her together was Saori, who physically stopped her from taking her own life. Misaki's heart was so afflicted that even her first impression of Atsuko was far more negative than that of the other girls.
"Saori said she probably won't try to kill herself now, but… I don't know. A sickened heart doesn't heal so easily. That's why I need to make sure."
"…So that's a good enough reason to lock me up in here?"
"Haha, when you put it like that, it sounds like we've imprisoned you. Of course, the first three days were mandatory. But every visit after that was your choice, Misaki-chan."
"Hah. Fine, I'll admit that. I won't say I completely hate the atmosphere here."
"I'm glad to hear it☆"
In the counseling room at the Remedial Knights' headquarters, I sat across from Misaki, resting my chin on my hand as I watched her. One thing had become clear: the time she'd spent here was helping. She herself would probably deny it with all her might, though.
"But that's all it is. Nothing changes just because of this."
Yes, just like that. In Misaki's mind, nothing has changed. It's always difficult for people to see themselves objectively.
"You're right. Nothing will change just because of this."
"If you know that, then why… Misono Mika, what do you want from me? Here in Trinity, it's not hard to hear stories about you. You're a being from a different world, an idol revered by countless students, a star in the sky even among the elite of Trinity. So why would someone like you…"
Hearing it put that way gives me a complicated feeling. I've only been living as Mika for a few months, so while my head knows it's true, it's hard to really feel it. Then again, if you just consider my position as a Host, I am at the top of Trinity, so maybe it's better to just accept it.
"Misaki-chan, first, let me correct a misunderstanding you have. When I said nothing would change, I was talking about what would happen if your attitude stays the way it is now."
"…What?"
"Yes. That attitude of thinking everything is negative and meaningless, of lamenting your situation and trapping yourself in your own pain. That's what needs to change. That's what I'm trying to say."
"…"
I reached out and held Misaki's hand tightly. The bandages wrapped around her wrist caught my eye, which naturally drew my attention to the ones around her neck as well.
It was the environment of Arius, where she was born and raised, that had pushed her to this point. Even before Beatrice, life in the slums was just too cruel for her. But then Beatrice came and fanned the flames. And as if that wasn't enough, she doused them in gasoline. The result was a knot so tangled it was impossible to know where to even begin unraveling it.
"…What do you know about me?"
"Misaki-chan."
"How we spent our childhood. How painful every single day was… What it feels like to live a life with no hope…"
She pulled her hand from my grasp and violently unwound the bandages on her wrist, revealing years of self-inflicted wounds as she wept without tears.
"You don't know anything. What could you possibly know, you who were blessed from birth, a being fundamentally different from us…? If you want to mock me, just do it openly. The way you nod as if you understand, the way you try to empathize and throw your cheap pity at me when you're different from us in every way—that's what truly tears open the wounds…!"
Misaki's walls are just too high. It's a bitter irony that the very background of Misono Mika that allows Misaki to be here is also the thing preventing my true feelings from reaching her.
"I lived my life thinking it didn't matter if I lived or died. I blamed the leader at times, but as long as I followed her orders, I didn't have to think too deeply. So why are you—why are you people—trying to make me think?"
"Misaki-chan."
I took her hand again. I took in the vivid marks of self-harm, of suicide attempts. I tried not to judge her based on my own feelings. As she said, it would be a shallow attempt to understand, and it was something I could never truly empathize with anyway.
"You've been through so much. And I'm sorry I couldn't help you sooner. The fundamental reason you had to grow up in a place like that… on behalf of the old Tea Party where this all began, I apologize as the current Host. This isn't cheap pity; it's me doing what should have been done long ago, so please try not to be too offended."
"…What's that? Why are you apologizing again? I don't get it. You didn't even do it. Come to think of it, you said something like that when we first met, too. Why? Just why?"
"Haha, it's okay if you don't understand now! Like I said before, I'll do my best to help you understand more one day."
"You're an idiot… And I'm starting to worry about the others who follow an idiot like you."
"Well then, Misaki-chan, you can just take good care of them for me. See? Isn't that a pretty good reason to live?"
Misaki went limp, leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes. She let out a deep sigh.
"Everything is vain and empty, yet ever since everyone met you, they've started to change, little by little. But I'm still stuck in the same place. Scoffing at how a change in my surroundings won't change anything, all while clinging to the desire to abandon this weak body and finally be free."
"Even if all is 'Bani Bani,' you must always do your best. See, there's a lot to learn from Azusa-chan's attitude toward life. I'd love to hear your thoughts on that, Misaki-chan!"
"…Bani Bani, what?"
"Haha! What a cute reaction. Okay, let's go back to the beginning. How are things with the kids here at the Remedial Knights?"
"So what is Bani Bani… Ugh."
Though she was sighing heavily, Misaki didn't seem to mind answering my question. The Remedial Knights get a bad rap because of Mine's infamous reputation, but at their core, they're a group of good kids. Even Mine, whose methods are just a little… extreme, is surprisingly easy to talk to once you get to know her. Well, surprisingly.
"When I'm here, I mostly talk with Commander Mine and Serina. Commander Mine is… persistent, I guess. Just like the leader."
Ah, I think I get what she means. Mine would never let Misaki get away with avoiding a question.
'You are in need of salvation…'
…Wait a minute, that sounds a little dangerous. It was probably something similar to that, but with a different nuance.
"Serina… she's like a princess. There's a warmth to her that makes it impossible to push her away… Hmm."
"Were you perhaps talking about me?"
"…?!"
Startled, I let go of Misaki's hand and turned my head. There was Serina, standing with a radiant smile. No, Serina, wasn't that teleportation thing just for Sensei? Where did you just pop out from?
"Hello, Lady Mika. And Misaki-san. You came again today, Misaki-san. I'm so happy!"
"…Hey."
"Haha… Nice to see you, Serina-chan! Have you been well?"
"Oh, don't even ask! I've been so busy taking care of patients that I haven't had a day to rest. It's rewarding work, so I always do my best, but… Oh, to say such a thing in front of you, Lady Mika. I'm sorry!"
"Hm? What's there to be sorry about? In terms of just being busy, it wouldn't be strange if you were busier than me. I'll be getting busy again soon, but right now, I have a decent amount of free time. You're doing something just as important as me, Serina-chan, maybe even more so. You should be proud☆"
"Ehehe… Thank you for your kind words, but shouldn't you be the one who's proud, Lady Mika? What you're doing right now is incredible. Seeking harmony between two long-feuding academies to fundamentally reduce the number of students getting hurt is something that we could never do… something only you can do, Lady Mika!"
…Huh? I'm pretty sure I only told the Arius girls and the upper echelons of Trinity, excluding Pater, about that.
"Serina-chan, how did you know I was seeking harmony between the academies?"
"What? Was I wrong? I just thought that since a festival is an event for everyone to enjoy, the competition would naturally be a secondary element…"
"W-Well, you're not wrong about that."
…Then again, for the students who don't know that Mika utterly despises Gehenna, maybe half of them would have seen through my act. Were the only ones completely fooled the members of Pater, who are… well, I don't know if you'd call them pure, but anyway. I've grown fond of them, to the point where they sometimes feel like my troublesome little ducklings. If only they could do something about that hardliner streak, they'd be perfect. I hope the upcoming festival brings about the most positive outcome possible.
"No, that's not what's important right now. Serina-chan, what do you usually talk about with Misaki-chan?"
"Hmm, with Misaki-san? I mostly just talk at her. Little things, like what happened during my day!"
"Ah, so Misaki just listens?"
"She used to, but lately she's been responding more often. Ehehe… This is proof that she's slowly opening her heart, right?"
"…"
Whether out of shyness or something else, Misaki averted her gaze. Seeing that convinced me that leaving her with the Remedial Knights had been the right choice.
"Haha! And you said nothing would change. You're not very honest, are you, Misaki-chan?"
"It's not like that."
What do you mean, it's not? It's completely obvious.
"Misaki-chan, did you know? You just smiled."
"What…? I didn't smile."
She seemed unsure but denied it anyway. Misaki is truly a tough nut to crack. Usually, a little teasing like this gets a more lively reaction. At this rate, I'm worried about how long it will take to see her brighten up.
I silently took Misaki's hand again and stared intently at her. After avoiding my gaze for a while, she finally gave in and looked at me.
"What. If you have something to say, say it."
"Next time I visit, I'll bring you a few books. How about you try reading some?"
"…Books?"
"Yeah, books. If you have a genre you're interested in, I can bring those, but I have a feeling you don't, so I'll just pick some out for you. Are you interested?"
"Do whatever you want."
"Haha, for you, Misaki-chan, that's a surprisingly positive response. Got it!"
I picked up the bandage that Misaki had unwrapped. I remembered it being grimy when I first saw it, but now I noticed it had been replaced with a clean, new one.
"By the way, Millenium's technology is said to be the best in Kivotos."
"…?"
I said as I loosely wrapped the bandage around her wrist. The look she gave me in return, as if asking what kind of nonsense I was about to spout now, stung a little.
"If you want, those scars can be removed. Millenium's technology surprises even me sometimes. So, removing the scars could be a perfect way to shed the wounds of the past and move forward. But that's all for when you feel ready, of course."
"…Not interested. Surely you don't expect that erasing a few lines on a worthless body will change one's mindset, do you?"
"Nope, I was just asking. I'm not trying to force you. But if you ever feel like it, just let me know!"
"That'll never happen. Even if I had a hundred more of these, nothing would change."
…Misaki really is a tough one.
"Serina-chan, I think I'll get going now!"
"Oh… Are you leaving already?"
"Yeah, I have something I need to buy. That said, can I ask you to keep taking good care of our Misaki-chan?"
I'd noticed that Misaki's phone was in pretty bad shape. So, I was planning on getting all the Squad girls new ones. I have no idea how Atsuko is the only one without a cracked screen.
"...Mika, what's with that tone, like you're leaving a child in my care?"
"Yes, of course! I'll take responsibility and help Misaki-san until she can smile brightly!"
"Haha! Thanks☆ I'll be back soon!"
"Wait, don't run away! Get back here and explain that tone…!"
Next time, I should take her on an outing to lift her spirits. Where would be good? Somewhere with a nice view seems fitting.
"…Hmm, did Mika-san have any plans today?"
As the clock ticked past 7 and approached 8 PM, Nagisa, still working, checked her phone again with a puzzled feeling. The message she had sent an hour ago still showed the "1," indicating it hadn't been read.
"…"
Ever since she had acknowledged her own feelings, everything had started to bother her. That unread-marker, that single number '1', felt like a rejection from Mika, and it was enough to make her feel dejected for no reason.
Just then, one of the Tea Party staff members burst through the office door without even knocking.
"Lady Nagisa…!"
"Yes? Is something wrong?"
Nagisa gestured for her attendants to remain calm as she asked the question.
"Lady Mika… Lady Mika is…!"
The moment Mika's name left the staff member's lips, Nagisa's brow furrowed. A sense of foreboding, for which she could pinpoint no specific reason, washed over her.
"Lady Mika has been kidnapped!"
Crash!
The teacup fell to the office floor and shattered, bringing an unseasonable snow to the height of summer.