"You guys have got to be kidding me," I yell as I stand up abruptly, glaring at my parents.
"Is this some sort of joke? Because if it is, then you need to stop it." How could they joke about such a serious matter? My mum glares back at me, but my dad uses a calmer approach.
"Dear, why don't you sit down and let us discuss this calmly?"
I'm a bit hesitant to listen to him, but I eventually sigh and sit back down when he gives me a pleading look.
"Look honey, we're doing this for your own good. We would never do anything that can harm you, and you know that," dad says softly, and I have to keep myself from scoffing.
"My own good? How is marrying me off to a complete stranger for my own good?" I ask angrily, and my mum shakes her head at me.
"Is it until you're old and have grey hairs before you realize that you need a family of your own? I want to see my grandkids before I die," she tells me, and this makes my anger spike.
"Oh! So you're prepared to ruin my life just because you want grandkids? Mum, are you even listening to yourself right now?" I just can't believe this is happening. Have my parents been put under a spell or something?
"Darling, please calm down. Look at this from our own perspective. You're already 24 years old, and from your past experiences with boys, we already know that you haven't been very lucky with relationships—they're just not your thing. Not to mention the fact that you're always busy with work ever since you started working at your company," dad says, and even though I know where he's coming from, I still can't accept this decision.
"We just don't want you to end up like us, darling, which is why we're trying to help before it's too late," dad adds softly.
He's referring to the history between him and mum. They both got married in their late thirties, and after that mum had some complications getting pregnant. She had been pregnant three times before she gave birth to me, but she had a miscarriage and lost the baby each time.
My parents always said that my birth was a miracle—I was their little blessing from God. When my mum had finally gotten pregnant with me, they were worried that they would lose me just like the other babies before me. There were complications during my delivery, and my mum almost died, but thankfully we both survived. After that, the doctor had advised them not to try for another baby as it could be really dangerous for my mum, and they might not be able to save her life again if more complications arose with the pregnancy.
My parents then gave up on the idea of more children, and I was raised as an only child. My mum always wanted a big family—I remember my dad saying that she always wanted to have at least four kids, but her health status said otherwise.
Dad always said that their late marriage was due to certain circumstances which were beyond their control, and he never told me what those circumstances were, but I knew mum always believed that maybe if they had gotten married earlier, in their twenties, then she would have been able to have more kids before her health issues worsened.
Deep down, I knew that their incessant worrying about my romantic life was because of their fear that the same thing would happen to me, and the fact that our family doctor already told them when I was younger that I could very well inherit my mum's health issues and also have problems having kids only increased their fears.
I understand their fears, but I don't think that's enough reason for them to just impose a stranger on me. I just couldn't accept such an absurd decision. I was still lost in my thoughts when my mum's voice brought me back to the issue at hand.
"You're too busy with work, dear, and we all know that if things keep going this way, then you won't be able to get a boyfriend in time. And even if you find another boyfriend now, what if he just hurts you again? It's obvious that you're already discouraged—you're not even trying to meet anyone after what happened with Jack, and it's been two years already," mum said, and I must admit that her words hit a nerve.
It was true, though, that I rarely had time for boys in the past, and the few I'd dated between high school and university always ended up hurting me. They always had one excuse or the other to end things with me, and it had gotten to a point where I started to feel like I was the problem and maybe no man was capable of loving me.
My first boyfriend in high school claimed that I was always too busy studying and I treated him like he was expendable. I could never compromise for him, and to him that meant that I just did not value him and he wasn't nearly as important to me as I was to him. He felt like he came second in my life. I kept choosing school over him, cancelling our dates, always too busy. To him, that must have felt like he didn't really matter.
He had broken up with me after over six months of us dating and soon got with a girl in my neighborhood who also attended the same high school. I have to admit that it had hurt a lot back then, but I couldn't even hate him because deep down I knew he was right. I found it easy to cancel our plans or refuse to do things with him because I wanted to study or attend a tutorial. I guess he really was expendable to me.
I didn't date anyone else until college. I thought by then I'd be more mature emotionally, more capable of handling relationships and putting others first, but I was wrong. Every relationship I got into during the four-year course of my studies at Bellridge University ended so horribly, each one resulting in a deep wound in my heart.
The final stab to my heart had been in the form of my last ex-boyfriend, Jack. I had met Jack when I was working as an intern at a small agro-allied company after graduating from the university. He was also working there as an intern to gain work experience for future roles.
We had gotten along so easily after meeting, and it didn't take long for us to fall in love, or at least for me to fall in love with him. I had cherished him so much and tried my best to make him happy. I was so scared of making the same mistakes I had made with my other exes that I basically threw everything aside to make him happy. I prioritized our relationship over my work because I didn't want him to feel replaceable or unimportant, but after all my efforts, he ended up cheating on me.
He was cheating on me with another girl but didn't even have the decency to break up with me. Rather, he kept me as his girlfriend and fooled around with her on the side. I thought we had something special, but I realized that I was wrong the day I caught him right in the act.
He had given me a spare key to his house a while after we started dating, and on that particular day I wanted to surprise him since I had gotten back from a work trip with my superiors earlier than expected. But I was the one who received the surprise of my life when I caught him in bed with another lady. He didn't feel any remorse for what he did, and he even blamed me. He claimed I wouldn't sleep with him and he had to satisfy his urges somehow, and therefore it was my fault.
I had always been open about the fact that I was a virgin and was hoping to wait until marriage before having sex, and he had claimed that he didn't have a problem with it. He had even encouraged me, saying it was good that I wasn't sleeping around and that he would respect my decision. He had never brought the issue of having sex up when we were dating or even told me that he was tired of my celibacy—not even once—yet he blamed me for his actions.
It was so painful to me back then. I felt used and unworthy, even blamed myself for saying I wouldn't have sex until after marriage. Maybe I really was the problem.
This isn't the time to dwell on my past relationship problems—I had to shut this idea down.
"Okay mum, but if this guy is really as perfect as you claim, then what makes you think he would want to marry me? And what makes you think he won't do the same thing other guys have been doing to me?" I ask calmly. Yelling at my parents definitely won't make them change their minds—I need to make them see things from my own perspective too.
"It's not just us, darling. His parents also want you guys to get married. It seems that he has also had his fair share of heartbreaks," dad says, rubbing the back of my hand to calm me down, but it's not working.
"And if he doesn't want to marry me, what happens then? Will you let it be, or will you guys and his parents still force us to get married? You do know that he would hate me and treat me horribly after such an arranged marriage, right?" I say incredulously.
"I don't think that will happen, dear. I think he'll agree to marry you," mum says, smiling from ear to ear.
"And why do you think so, mum?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. She seems so sure that the man will agree to this.
"Well, why not? You're a beautiful and successful young lady. Anyone would be lucky to have you," mum says in a duh tone, and I facepalm at her logic.
"That doesn't matter, mum—love does. We don't love each other." How can I get married to and have kids for a man I don't even love? It's just impossible. The mere thought makes me shudder.
"Darling, love is a beautiful thing, and the most beautiful part is that it doesn't only happen at a certain time. There are so many times when love blooms after marriage—I've seen couples who fell in love after they got married. It happens," dad says with a hopeful look in his eyes, and I realize how much they really want this. Why are they doing this? How close are they with that family that they would even be okay with their daughter marrying into such a family? I had so many questions in my head and yet so little answers.
"Why do you even trust this family so much that you'd allow this?" I ask angrily.
"They're really good people, and they've helped us out many times. We've often talked about you and their son Adrian, and we realized that you guys are quite similar, so we came up with the plan to get the two of you married since you guys can't find someone good," dad tells me as if that justifies their actions.
"What if I have someone out there who's actually the one for me, but I don't get to be with him because you guys made me marry someone else, huh?"
Mum just shakes her head at this. "He could also be the one for you—you can never tell," she assures me with a gentle smile.
"Look darling, we know this is hard for you to accept, and we also know that it's strange to make such a decision, but just do us a favor," dad tells me, still rubbing the back of my hands.
"And what favor is that?" I ask reluctantly.
"Just meet his parents first. They're really looking forward to meeting you, so please give them a chance," he says with a smile, and I feel my resolve slowly crumbling.
"They'll be coming to visit us this evening, so can you just have dinner with them? Then you can have a chat with them after?" my mum also asks. I think about it for some seconds. If I downright refuse to even have dinner with them, my parents will feel bad. I don't want this marriage, but I don't want to upset or make them feel sad either. I just hope that Adrian or whatever his name is refuses too, so that they can all get over this crazy idea of theirs.
"Okay, I'll meet them tonight," I say, trying hard to smile but failing miserably. The slight frown on my face is way too obvious.
Immediately I say this, my parents' faces light up with smiles, and I feel a twinge of guilt at this. They look really happy, and it's not like I even said yes to the arranged marriage.
They like and trust this couple so much, but I wonder what I'll think of them. I guess I'll know this evening.
I wonder how my meeting with his parents will go.