It was August 16th, Year 33 in Konoha—today was Fugaku's birthday.
Yet after watching the eighth season of "Game of Thrones," he wasn't feeling happy at all.
Kazushi, who had seen this coming, began suspecting his youngest son might have anticipated today's events and left without even saying goodbye, driving straight to the Land of Grass.
"Hey Fugaku, it's a call from Shen," Aiko said as she walked out from the kitchen, placing the mobile phone in front of him.
Fugaku, with red eyes, grabbed the phone and immediately exploded in anger: "You little brat! What kind of ending did you come up with?!"
"Cough cough…"
"I'm telling you, kid—once you get back to Konoha, you're done for! Not even the Sage of Six Paths will be able to save you!"
Such a bad pun left Kazushi's face twisted in embarrassment.
Aiko wore the same expression as well.
Both parents silently worried about Fugaku a thousand times over.
"Wait, you're saying you'll split twenty billion ryō with me?!" Suddenly switching to a cheerful tone, Fugaku became overly friendly. "See? I always knew my little bro Shen was the best! I was just kidding just now."
"Alright alright, I won't interrupt your special day then."
The Uchiha couple exchanged knowing looks.
If the Sage of Six Paths really had any control over Shen, there was no way he would've gotten this wild over the years.
Both thought Fugaku was still too naive. The Sage of Six Paths was an ancient figure—even if he were still alive today, as a several-thousand-year-old old monster, he probably wouldn't have any interest in meddling with worldly affairs.
After hanging up, Fugaku excitedly dialed Mikoto's number. He was determined to play the role of a wastrel today.
The couple watched their eldest son step quietly outside.
"Dear, I wonder how far along Shen and Nayou are?" Aiko asked, her face filled with curiosity.
Kazushi thought carefully and believed his youngest son must be better than the eldest: "They've already held hands. Probably kissing by now?"
"That makes sense," Aiko said, her face glowing with a bright smile as she proposed a bold hypothesis: "Maybe after they return from the battlefield, we'll already be grandparents."
"Eh…" Kazushi was speechless.
Aiko's outrageous imagination was truly suffocating.
"Now that I think about it, naming him Shen was anything but careful—just look at the names we're already thinking for the grandchild." Jumping straight into imagining the child's birth, Aiko listed off more than ten nice options.
Names like "Whatevery Lang," "Rebel Butingtong," and others made Kazushi's face contort more and more.
He could just imagine what kind of personality the kid would end up with, coming from those two.
At the camp in the Land of Grass.
Shen once again took half of the fully-charged Four-Tails' chakra before walking out of the dark cell, completely ignoring Roshi's current appearance.
That hairstyle and flared pants combo was just way too much to handle visually.
Even though Nayou and Tsunade had long since stopped being his stylists, even dressing himself freely would still lead to this kind of situation.
Shen, who thought his own taste in fashion was excellent, figured that Roshi must have been driven mad by those two "demons."
"Terrifying, truly terrifying," he patted his little chest lightly, silently mourning the victim for three full seconds.
Then he quickly returned to normal and lifted his foot downstairs.
Today was not only Fugaku's birthday but also the day to hand over Roshi.
Of course, this was still a legitimate transaction that could take place in broad daylight.
Team One's specific task was simply to maintain surveillance from a distance in case Iwagakure made an unexpected move.
Such an easy mission didn't really concern Shen at all.
With Haku using both Byakugan and Sage Mode for perception, if even then they couldn't prevent Iwa ninjas from slipping through, Team One might as well disband on the spot.
"Uh, you really didn't need to prepare such a lavish feast," Shen said while sitting at the dining table, noticing that today's lunch was actually hotpot.
"Don't worry, it's just moderately spicy," Naoyu immediately saw through his concerns.
Nawaki, unable to contain his excitement, dumped everything from his plate straight into the pot at once.
"Smack!" Tsunade slapped him hard on the back of his head.
"Nawaki, put in only as much food as you can eat!"
"Sister, I promise I'll finish everything." Tears welling up in his eyes, Nawaki looked pitifully at the two-meter-wide pot.
If you're going to be treated like commanders, you might as well enjoy the perks.
Since others outside were already feasting on whole roasted lamb, how could they possibly treat themselves poorly?
Besides, today's entire bill was being covered by the Uchiha young master himself.
Don't even mention having hotpot and roasted lamb in the summer heat—if someone offered full entertainment packages including saunas and massages, these thousand-odd shinobi might actually accept such extravagance!
The three Sand Village ninjas, unable to truly fit into this festive atmosphere, reluctantly accepted reality.
They both felt that voicing opinions against indulging in luxury during wartime would likely get them torn apart by the other ninja outside.
After all, Iwa's Four-Tails was currently in their hands. Since Takigakure, who shared common interests with them, had recently kept to its own territory, some special treatment seemed justified.
While eating, Shen suddenly felt the urge to haul out the sound system and microphone.
"Nope, we need to depart right after finishing our meal," Naoyu quickly noticed his movement and firmly pressed down his eager left hand.
Shen understood the logic, though always finding her wording rather strange.
"Depart? Ahem…Naoyu, could you please use a nicer expression?"
Placing her chopsticks atop the bowl, Naoyu rolled her big white eyes around, then gave everyone a shocking alternative: "Then let's say 'don't delay getting on the road' instead."
"Phew!" Jiraiya sprayed pieces of meat from his mouth directly into the boiling pot.
Tsunade, furious beyond words, slammed her chopsticks down and glared furiously at the seemingly innocent culprit across the table.
Orochimaru silently picked up a green leaf with his chopsticks, turned it toward his mouth, then suddenly transferred it into Jiraiya's bowl beside him.
Nawaki, thoroughly disgusted, immediately started reminiscing fondly about numerous virtues of that certain male ninja bearing the surname Katou.
As for Shen? He just froze stiff on his chair.
It appeared most Konoha ninjas, except two particular individuals, failed to understand these jokes completely.
In contrast, the Sand Village group displayed various reactions.
Mamba, visibly envious and resentful, shuddered involuntarily.
He hadn't even managed to mutter, "Konoha's the real deal," before Angel yanked him by the ear.
Meanwhile, lonely bachelor Gerissen finally figured out why Konoha ninjas acted so differently after recovering from initial shock.
Oh! Turns out these folks have been brought up this way since childhood!
Driving so confidently, it's no wonder Sunagakure couldn't refuse to admit defeat.
Shen, who had remained quiet for a long while, finally took out his golden microphone upon sensing the strange atmosphere.
Nayou, just a beat too slow, could only puff her cheeks and glare at him as he stepped onto the dining table.
"East the rivers roar! Shinobi drivers never retreat anymore!"
"Ee-hee-ee-hee! Gonna weld those car doors tight — let's roll!"
"Shen Uchiha!" Nayou called out, following closely behind and stepping onto the table herself.
[Nine Yin Skeleton Claw] Shen narrowly dodged it, then resumed darting nimbly across the table.
A perfectly good hotpot dinner was ruined all because of that one song.
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