Yuki took a deep breath as he stepped into the Adventurer's Guild.
The place was a chaotic blend of bar, office, and gladiator arena. Adventurers sat around wooden tables drinking ale, some discussing quest strategies, others showing off their weapons—or their battle scars.
But the moment Yuki walked in, all eyes turned to him.
"Who's that? A newbie?"
"Looks like a hobo who just inherited a fortune."
"Expensive clothes, but still has broke energy."
"Probably some rich kid in a rebellious phase."
"Or a debt collector pretending to be an adventurer."
Yuki heard the whispers but pretended not to care. He walked straight to the registration desk at the far end of the hall.
Behind the counter stood a blonde woman with long, wavy hair and sapphire-blue eyes. But the real eye-catcher?
Her chest—which looked like a natural disaster waiting to happen.
Every time she moved even slightly, it jiggled like jelly during an earthquake.
All the male adventurers stared at her like she was a living treasure chest. Some even had to wipe off the drool from their chins.
"Welcome to the Adventurer's Guild," she greeted sweetly with a smile. "I'm Laura, the receptionist. How can I help you?"
All the men in the guild melted instantly. One fell off his chair, another choked on his ale, and one had a spontaneous nosebleed.
But Yuki? He just stared at her with a confused, concerned expression.
"Miss, uh... are you okay?" he asked, pointing. "Your chest is kinda… going all over the place. Doesn't that hurt? Do you need, like, a stronger bra? I feel like gravity's given up on you."
TOTAL. SILENCE.
The entire guild froze like someone hit pause on reality. Jaws dropped, eyes bulged—even a flying fly came to a dead stop in midair.
Laura was stunned. All her life, men had been mesmerized by her... assets.
But this was the first guy ever who showed genuine concern for her spinal health.
"W-What…?" Laura blinked rapidly.
"Seriously," Yuki nodded. "That weight must be murder on your back. Have you seen an orthopedist? Or tried physical therapy?"
"HOLY SHIIIT! WHO IS THIS GUY?!" an adventurer shouted, standing up.
"HE'S NOT EVEN INTO LAURA?! IMPOSSIBLE!"
"He must be gay! No straight man could resist a goddess like her!"
"Or blind! Poor dude!"
"Maybe he's impotent! LOL!"
But Laura? She was even more intrigued. Her blue eyes sparkled as she stared at Yuki. For the first time in her life, a man saw her as an actual human being.
"You… you're really concerned about my health?" she asked, leaning forward.
Her chest moved with her, but Yuki immediately backed away.
"Of course. Spinal issues are serious, ma'am. They can lead to paralysis if left untreated," Yuki replied, scratching his head. "Anyway, I'm here to register as an adventurer."
"MARRY ME!!" Laura suddenly screamed, leaping over the counter and grabbing both of his hands.
"HUH?!"
"WILL YOU MARRY ME?! I'M SERIOUS!" Her eyes sparkled like an anime heroine in the middle of a passionate speech.
"WHAAAAAAT?!" the entire guild screamed in unison. Windows shook from the volume.
"LAURA'S PROPOSING TO A GUY?!"
"WHY NOT ME?! I'VE BEEN FLIRTING WITH HER FOR THREE YEARS!"
"MY LIFE IS MEANINGLESS NOW!"
"LAURA, REMEMBER OUR PROMISE!" shouted a blond-haired adventurer, dramatically pointing at her.
"WHAT PROMISE?! WHEN DID I PROMISE YOU ANYTHING, GERALD?!" Laura yelled back.
"YESTERDAY! WHEN YOU SAID 'GOOD MORNING!' THAT WAS TRUE LOVE!"
"IT WAS JUST A GREETING, YOU MORON!"
The guild descended into pure chaos. Some threw chairs, some drew swords, others curled up in the corner crying into their ale bottles.
Still held tightly by Laura, Yuki could only sweatdrop as he watched the guild go full World War III.
"Uh, miss… could you let go of my hands? This is getting awkward," Yuki said.
"NOPE! NOT UNTIL YOU ANSWER MY PROPOSAL!" Laura tightened her grip.
"Proposal?! We literally just met five minutes ago!"
"LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!"
"But I don't see you that way. I was just worried about your backbone."
"THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE! YOU SEE ME AS A PERSON!"
Meanwhile, Gerald had unsheathed a massive sword and was stomping toward Yuki, eyes glowing red.
"YOU! YOU DAMN NEWBIE! HOW DARE YOU STEAL LAURA FROM ME?!" Gerald roared, raising his blade. "I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!"
"A duel? I haven't even registered yet," Yuki said, still being held hostage by Laura.
"I DON'T CARE! LIFE OR DEATH!"
Gerald swung the sword—but Laura immediately jumped in front of Yuki, her chest moving in slow motion like an action movie.
"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY FUTURE HUSBAND!" she shouted, catching the blade with her bare hand.
CLANK!
Turns out, Laura wasn't just a receptionist. She was an undercover A-rank adventurer with strength powerful enough to pulverize boulders.
Gerald was flung across the room and knocked out cold, eyes still open.
"Holy Shit!... you're crazy strong, miss," Yuki muttered, impressed.
"THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD MARRY ME! I CAN PROTECT YOU!" Laura said excitedly.
"Whoa, chill. I appreciate the offer, but we just met. Maybe we can start as friends?"
Laura paused, then nodded enthusiastically. "OKAY! BUT I'M STILL GONNA MARRY YOU SOMEDAY!"
"Yeah, yeah… we'll see."
Order was finally restored. Laura returned behind the counter but now stuck to Yuki like glue. Every time he moved, she mirrored him. Every time he spoke, she nodded like a golden retriever.
"Can we proceed with registration now?" Yuki asked.
"OF COURSE, DEAR—uh, I mean, SIR!" Laura quickly prepped the paperwork.
Registration went smoothly. Yuki filled in (fake) personal info, paid the fee, and finally, it was time for the mana test.
"Now, please place your hand on this mana crystal," Laura said, holding out a bowling-ball-sized clear orb. "It will glow based on your mana level. White for F-rank, yellow for E, orange for D, and so on."
Yuki placed his hand on it—but forgot his Transmutation Magic had been maxed out by Diabolos's blessing. His power was basically god-tier, but he didn't want to show off.
So, he suppressed it to just 10%.
The crystal glowed… a faint, pathetic white. Like a dying flashlight.
"Oh… 10% mana capacity," Laura noted. "That means… F-rank."
"F-RANK?! AHAHAHAHA!" the entire guild burst into laughter.
"THE NEW GUY ONLY HAS 10% MANA!"
"I THOUGHT HE WAS SOME MYSTERIOUS POWERHOUSE!"
"TURNS OUT HE'S JUST A WEAKLING!"
"NO WONDER HE PROPOSED TO LAURA—HIS BRAIN'S AT 10%, TOO!"
Yuki just smiled awkwardly and accepted his new adventurer card:
"RANK F - YUKI - MANA CAPACITY: 10%"
"Congratulations! You're officially an adventurer!" Laura said cheerfully. "And as a special gift…"
She leaned forward again—this time, her chest literally touched Yuki's face.
"MA'AM! YOUR BOOBS JUST TOUCHED MY FACE!" Yuki panicked, stumbling backward.
"THAT'S A SPECIAL GIFT FOR MY FUTURE HUSBAND!" Laura beamed.
Every guy in the guild turned into demons of envy.
"GIVE US THAT GIFT TOO!"
"I'LL DROP TO F-RANK FOR THAT TREATMENT!"
"LIFE ISN'T FAIR! WHY DOES THE WEAKLING GET ALL THE PERKS?!"
***
After the absurd registration drama, Yuki finally got to pick his first quest. He walked over to the giant quest board, covered in all sorts of mission papers.
Unfortunately, as an F-rank, his options were... limited.
Clean the horse stables (Reward: 5 copper coins)
Gather herbs in the forest (Reward: 10 copper coins)
Hunt slimes and wild rabbits (Reward: 15 copper coins per core)
"I'll take the third one," Yuki muttered, pulling down the quest slip.
"Be careful, sweetie! Those wild rabbits are super aggressive! They can bite your fingers clean off!" Laura called out, visibly worried.
"I'll be fine," Yuki said with a grin, walking out of the guild.
"WAIT! HERE'S A LUNCHBOX FROM ME!"
Laura rushed after him and shoved a heart-shaped bento box into his hands.
Every other adventurer in the guild glared at Yuki with a mix of burning envy and soul-crushing despair. Yuki just gave them an awkward smile and accepted the lunch.
***
#One Hour Later…
Yuki arrived at a wide open meadow—the quest site. The field stretched far and wide, filled with wildflowers, small trees, and... bizarre monsters.
The rabbits were the size of dogs, with glowing red eyes, razor-sharp fangs like piranhas, and they growled like demons from a horror movie.
The slimes weren't any better—dark purple, with misshapen bodies and squelching noises that sounded like someone vomiting.
"Alright, just gotta take a few down and grab their cores," Yuki muttered as he prepped himself.
But the moment he approached one of the rabbits…
CHOMP!
The thing lunged straight at his face, biting and scratching wildly.
"OW! GET OFF ME!" Yuki wrestled with it, only to get hit from behind by a slime that sprayed acidic goo all over him.
SPLASH!
His expensive clothes instantly sizzled with holes.
"Holy Crap! That was limited edition designer gear!"
He tried to escape—but the monsters kept coming. Dozens of rabbit-zombies chased after him in hops, while the slimes oozed along, making creepy "gloop gloop" sounds like cursed jellyfish.
"THESE ARE LOW-LEVEL MONSTERS?! WHAT A FREAKIN' SCAM!!" Yuki screamed, zigzagging through the field.
And then… things got worse.
The rabbits started farting.
Yep. Every time Yuki almost got away, the demonic bunnies let out synchronized gas attacks.
PFFFFTTTT!
The stench was ungodly—a mix of rotten eggs, sweaty armpits, and a fish market that had been left out in the sun for a week.
Yuki gagged instantly.
"OH MY GOD, THE SMELL!!" he yelled, covering his nose while vomiting into the grass.
The slimes? They were excited. They squirted even more disgusting purple liquid, which smelled even worse than rabbit farts.
After thirty straight minutes of running for his life, Yuki was a total mess.
His clothes were shredded, his body stank of slime and death, and his hair looked like he'd been struck by lightning... multiple times.
"THAT'S IT! I'M DONE!" he shouted in frustration.
Yuki reached into his dimensional storage and pulled out—
an AK-47.
"TIME TO TASTE MODERN FIREPOWER!"
DDDRRRAAAATTTT!
He sprayed bullets in every direction.
But the monsters were ridiculously fast. They dodged like anime ninjas on steroids.
Nothing hit.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WHAT ARE YOU, MATRIX-RABBITS?!" Yuki growled, reloading.
He tried again. Same result.
They were dodging with weird acrobatic flips like they'd trained under Keanu Reeves.
Yuki paused, eyes narrowing.
"Okay… change of plan."
He looked around, then opened the lunchbox from Laura. Inside was a delicious-smelling meat sandwich.
He suddenly remembered how much Belzebub had loved his cooking.
"Hmm… all animals love tasty food…"
With a smirk, Yuki transmuted the meat into premium ultra-fragrant cat food and scattered it across the field.
"Come on… Come get your snacks~"
The monster horde froze.
They sniffed. Their eyes sparkled. Then, like children spotting candy, they rushed in and started devouring the cat food like maniacs.
"Perfect," Yuki grinned, pulling a grenade from his storage. "Sorry guys—this is just business."
"FIRE IN THE HOLE!"
BOOOOOMMMM!!
The explosion rocked the field. Birds flew off in terror. Smoke clouded the sky.
When the dust cleared, there was nothing left but a small crater and dozens of glowing monster cores scattered like spilled jewels.
"HELL YEAH! I'M A GENIUS!" Yuki whooped, collecting the cores. "Who says F-ranks can't do efficient monster farming?!"
He counted his haul: 47 slime cores, 23 rabbit cores.
More than enough to get promoted to E-rank.
"Haha! This adventurer thing is easier than I thought," he laughed, stashing them into his storage.
***
But Then…
BOOOOMMM!
A sudden explosion echoed from the nearby forest.
Then he heard panicked screams—female voices.
"KYAAAAA! HELP US!!"
"WHERE'S THE POTION?!"
"THE MINOTAUR'S GONE BERSERK!"
"WE'RE GONNA DIEEEE!!"
Black smoke rose from the trees. Clearly, a party of adventurers was in serious trouble.
Yuki looked at the chaos, then at the cores in his bag.
"…Well, I already finished my quest. But it'd be pretty heartless to let people die."
He casually pulled out his AK-47 again and checked the ammo.
"Alright… bonus good deed for today."
Then Yuki sprinted toward the forest—
completely unaware that this would be the moment he met the princess destined to become the main heroine of his story.