Chapter 7 - Chapter 6. Impudence, Shamelessness and Sweets

Chapter 6. Impudence, Shamelessness and Sweets

 The further from the moral ideal, the more character is at the artist's disposal. That is why half-men, half-dead always turn out better than demigods.

 Jean Paul Richter

 So, the order from the confectionery has been taken, the gifts have been collected and loaded into cartridge belts and clips, all that remains is to deliver them to the girls who are expecting gifts. Or not expecting them, that will be even more interesting.

 The infiltration of Beacon was as expected, quiet and unnoticeable. It was getting dark. I simply walked up to the scheduled gliders and placed the Scroll on the scanner.

 "Oh, newbie?" the pilot greeted me as I, with my clearance, entered the cockpit. My tears over their flight safety procedures.

 "Yes, I recently got a job," I shrug, "as a technician."

 - And immediately a night shift? I don't even know, on the one hand, I was lucky, but on the other, I even sympathize. Oh, and don't stand in the aisle, jump in! - the guy waved cordially towards the co-pilot's seat. - My name is Frank, by the way.

 - Loki, - we shook hands. - What about sympathy?

 - Didn't they tell you? They must have wanted to surprise you, - laughed the pilot, who was clearly bored and wanted to chat. And why not be bored? The automation does everything itself. He's only needed here in case of an emergency. - Right now, the first-years have just moved in and started adjusting their rooms to suit themselves. Well, you know these active Hunters, and teenagers at that! - Frank informed me with a patronizing superiority that only a twenty-year-old guy is capable of when talking about seventeen-year-olds.

 - Um, so what?

 - Well, sometimes they get too carried away, they cause a short circuit in the wiring, or they mess up the water, or they even break through the walls. And they don't care about the time of day, and the night shift is always shorter than the day shift, - ahem, but it's true, the cockroaches in the heads of Aura users have always been outstanding. Seasoned, well-fed.

 - Okay, I understood with "I sympathize", but why was it lucky?

 - Of course! - the pilot raised his hands to the ceiling indignantly. - A crowd of girls did something kinky and are calling a valiant repairman to fix it!

 - Hmm... I saw a porno that started exactly like this...

 - That's what I'm talking about, and then there's the night shift! - Yeah, it seems like my interlocutor has too much imagination. - Besides, did you hear - Pyrrha Nikos and Weiss Schnee entered the Academy this year! The famous Invincible Champion and Heiress of the Dust Empire! Maybe you'll get lucky and...

 - Any one of them would wring the neck of a common man before he could finish the phrase "baby, let's jump."

 - Well, but what girls! - For the rest of the flight, that is, for half an hour, I had the dubious pleasure of listening to the driver with spermatotoxicosis rant. Not the most pleasant pastime, frankly speaking. I mean, I shared his position, but it's one thing to think the same thing alone, and quite another to hear it from some random guy you've never seen before. But he also managed to blab a lot about the local cuisine, I think that even if I ran into someone from the administration or the teachers, I could pass for a local newbie.

 But then the flight ended, and I parted with my new "friend", a pack of Nevermores to meet him. A slyly smiling Neo appeared next to me, having spent the whole trip somewhere in the passenger cabin and, judging by that sly face, wildly laughing at my torment. It's good to be invisible... Eh... Well, hello, Beacon, let's go see how big your stock of materials is, I'm just sure that the local workbenches require urgent maintenance! However, I was really not interested in them, but in the warehouse of consumables. Cleaning out the work stands was a stupid idea - before the start of the school year they were probably filled to the brim, and a sudden emptying would lead to additional suspicions. But lightening the cartridges prepared for replacement - that's possible, well, and then let the quartermasters of Beacon sort things out with the suppliers, we are not proud people, we will fill our old ones with the "loose stuff" we got.

 Since it was late, but still a long way off until lights out, I decided to first find out the exact location of my... hmm, girlfriends. To do this, I needed to get into the "dormitory" list. This could be done from any service terminal with personnel access. There was access, and there were also a ton of terminals dotted around... Oooh, the bourgeoisie are living it up, and in Vacuo the children are starving, and one unfortunate time traveler is forced to go to extremes to feed a little mute girl, and a few other girls... ahem.

 Anyway, I found the data, the rooms were already assigned to the teams. Of course, there was a slight fear that something had gone wrong, but the RWBY apartments opposite the door to JNPR's chambers calmed my doubts - nothing had changed. The fifth floor overlooking the courtyard. So... wait a minute, what is this? According to the plans, the girls' room should have a great view of the men's showers on the training ground.

 - Ozpin, you old pervert! I just had a series of questions for you!

 – (V_v)???

 - Look here! - I show the location of the object that upset me on the map.

 – (^____^)!

 - What do you mean "they'll have something to contemplate in the evening"? Only I am allowed to spoil my future minions!

 – (T_T)…

 "Okay, you can take part too," I "took pity."

 – (^_^).

 - Okay, I found what I needed, now I can just wait for lights out. There's no point in even going to the workbenches now - what if there's an enthusiast who's already dug in there? - I had a serious suspicion that someone like Hoody (or even she herself) could already be modifying, filing, polishing, or otherwise licking "her precious thing." - What do you want to do?

 – (>_>)…

 - No, we will not quietly make out in the utility room!

 – (T_T)…

 – Empty rooms are much better!

 – (^_^)!

 The time before lights out was intense... No, screw it, I'm not made of iron, and when we finish here, someone will have to pay with their tight ass for all the fidgeting that this ass did while we were in an empty room... hugging each other and playing some kind of Scroll game. Well, what else are we supposed to do?! Frank, of course, "tormented my soul", but I'm not so crazy yet that I'm having fun with a girl who shouldn't be here, while I'm in enemy territory under a fake identity. Hmm... why does this thought seem so bad to me after I voiced it? Grr-r-r, Neo, stop fidgeting! Or get off my lap... Although no! A-a-a-abandon!

 Anyway, when the clock struck twelve, I was happy to crawl out of the little room, otherwise something could have happened... untimely. But it worked out. Walking to RWBY's room through the empty corridors with the dim light was no problem at all. Opening the door? Pfft, "self-sealing" followed by "unpacking" after a meter - and here I am already on the other side, and from the inside there is no need to apply any Scroll to the lock. So Neo entered regally and imposingly. All I had to do was pretend to be a doorman.

 The light from the shattered moon was enough to easily see the entire room, and… Yes, they really did it — they assembled two (very "sort of") bunk beds from four regular beds. In one place, they hung the top bed on ropes nailed to the ceiling, and in the other, they placed it on the corners of the bottom one, using books to "build up" the support legs. I had little idea what kind of magic held this whole structure together. I suspected that Aura had something to do with it. True, this didn't explain why all this didn't fall over when there was no one on the beds, but… some things should just be accepted as they are. The picture of unreality was complemented by the snoring on all four noses and rare snores from the blonde, who was sitting on the top tier of the "book" bed. Well, time to play Satan… I mean, Santa, yes.

 Okay, we open the bag of cartridges, put the cake here... tch... A-a-a-a-a-me. Judging by the way the pretty brunette's bow twitches from the bottom bunk under Yang, they heard me through my sleep, even though I was straining my Torchwick skills and trying to move as quietly as possible. An outstanding achievement, since this guy could already at fourteen enter a house and take out all the household appliances, regardless of their size and the number of people sleeping in the room where they were stored. And no, no violence or drugs, that's the point, just sleight of hand and a soft step. Oh! Calm down, let's continue, the cake is here... Neo, ugh! Bad minion, no need to try to color the faces of the sleeping people with a marker! Better go for a walk for now... somewhere. Hmm... she left... but I didn't like the expression on her face, well, that's not my problem, she's a smart and cunning girl. She won't get caught and won't set me up. Where was I? Yeah... the cake is in place, now let's add some cookies... What is this? A sleep mask with the image of the scarlet eyes of the Grimms? Ruby, my dear, I can assure you that your sense of taste is incomparable, I have to take a couple of photos... Hmm, maybe it's not very good when a grown man sneaks into a room of sleeping half-naked girls and starts taking photos of them?.. Oh yeah, I'm a thief and a scoundrel, I'm supposed to do bad things. It's my job! So click-click! Okay, that's enough for now, I'll leave a note "if I don't make it back"... or rather, in case I don't make it back, and we'll go visit the warehouses.

 I finished the note in about ten minutes, fortunately the rough drafts were being worked on, and it wasn't hard to put it next to the cake either, which meant the minimum plan was completed. Neo also joined me again, happy-go-lucky.

 – Should I be worried about what you did?

 – (^____^).

 - Okay, then I'll pretend I didn't notice anything.

 – (;-P), – they stuck their tongue out at me and winked cheekily. My soul felt uneasy, it seemed that in the morning someone would be very happy… and someone – sad.

 Warehouses with consumables, including rather rare ones, were not far from the workbenches themselves - a completely logical decision, so as not to carry rather heavy ingots far, they need to be kept nearby. Neo covered us with her illusions from possible surveillance cameras, which are simply obligatory here, and I began to take actions that are ideally characterized by the phrase "Gentlemen! Take everything out!" Here and simple cartridges with powder steel, which I emptied, and blanks of rare alloys, and even some reserves of high-grade Dust! Not raking out everything to the last crumb was almost physically painful, but I still managed to overcome an attack of kleptomania. Well, I did not notice this in myself. But nevertheless, five hours of thoughtful and imperceptible looting - that was something. In the end, when Neo got tired of holding on to the illusion, I even pretended to actually work: I came up, still covered by the Manifestation of my partner, hid a couple of very useful workbench units in my pocket, which would have fit well with mine, and then any camera would confirm that the honest technician Loki Asgard, having received a signal on his Scroll, spent almost three hours, cursing like crazy, "resurrecting" the malfunctioning equipment. He even ran to the warehouse for spare parts and changed modules, but he still resurrected it! After which, with a sense of accomplishment, I went to the nearest kitchen, located in the dormitory, to make myself a cup of coffee. Although it was not entirely according to the rules, almost all technical personnel did this, especially those who stayed on night shifts. And the coffee at the academy was simply excellent.

 Team RWBY's room. Later.

 The morning of the newly-minted team began with the discovery of a large chocolate cake wrapped in red ribbon and a large, unmarked package in the middle of the room.

 There was a note on top of the cake...

 Hi girls!

 Respect for the design solution for the beds! Fresh, new, creative - I can feel your style, Hood!

 Now to business. Sorry - I was able to escape only in the evening, but when I came, you were already asleep. (Black sleeping mask with angry red eyes... You are definitely seriously determined to irrevocably capture my heart, Hoodie! ^__^ ) Alas, although your cute sleeping faces are infinitely charming, I am not so assiduous as to admire them until the morning and do nothing else. (Appreciate! I showed true selflessness and heroism, subduing my base impulses!) Anyway, you have already seen the bag of cookies and the cake, once again congratulations on admission and meeting a great team.

 I'm serious! Bantik almost woke up twice while I was taking pictures of your faces with the Scroll for my collection - she definitely has talent! So if the path of the Huntress doesn't work out, I'm ready to open the doors to an equally exciting, but much more profitable profession for her. Tell her so, let her read this letter along with you.

 As for Snezhinka, I take my hat off to her! Her farewell album is something incomparable. And by the way, if she is even half as good a girl as little Winter, I already have a premonition of a huuuuge mutual love between you two. (And why does that goat Jacques have such good daughters?! He's a complete... ahem, sorry, this is a long-standing sore point). And yes, a cool sword, I'm sure you liked it too, Hoodie.

 P.S.

 I noticed that you completely neglected to upgrade your cornice. Girls, how is that possible? Have you seen yourselves in the mirror? It won't be a week before half the male members of the dorm will start climbing in there to take a peek!

 In short, greed, paternal instinct (it was definitely that! Probably…) and a bit of nobility woke up in me. In short, I mined everything there. Don't thank me.

 P.P.S.

 Little dragon, don't be angry! I returned all the borrowed ammo with interest - the bag is under the bed. And yes, I experimented a little, so now there are electric, freezing and armor-piercing charges. And if you want to become a really bad girl, then there are gravity ones in the black box. Have fun. =^__^=

 After reading the note, a graveyard silence fell over the room. Four girls with different expressions of prostration on their faces hypnotized the piece of paper, forgetting even to blink.

 Ruby was the first to come to her senses:

 "Hooray, Yang, you got your ammo back!" Rose exclaimed cheerfully, breaking the atmosphere of the space vacuum. True, her cheeks were burning like torches.

 "He… did… What?" the second Blake came to, pushing the words out of herself separately and with great effort.

 "This lunatic, whoever he was, wrote that he mined our cornice," Weiss answered in an indignant tone, grabbing her white ponytail.

 "He… took pictures… of us… in a dream…" the wearer of the bow muttered, still in a daze.

 - What's going on? - Schnee pressed Rose. - How does he know my sister? What's with the jokes about swords? Hey, answer me! Judging by the letter, it's one of your crazy friends!

 "I don't know," squeaked Ruby, who had already grabbed the bag of cookies and now painfully resembled a sly sparrow, ready to run away at any moment to have a treat.

 "Don't you care at all about his words about the mask, the hood and everything else?!" Weiss wasn't going to back down, nervously fingering her hair. "What kind of nicknames are those anyway?"

 - Well... - the short-haired brunette with the ends of her strands dyed red shook her head uncertainly. - I'm used to it, - she shrugged, hiding her darting gaze. - Of course, it's still a little embarrassing, but he's been calling me that from the very beginning.

 - Outrageous! - the fair-haired girl stomped her heel in indignation. - What kind of vulgar people do you have as friends?! To burst into the ladies' room, write such outrageous things, and...

 "Take pictures of us in our sleep, so that we don't notice anything..." Blake supported him, still in a dead voice, looking into space.

 - Exactly! - Schnee stamped her foot again. - This is unforgivable! Absolutely, definitely unforgivable! Hey! Are you even listening to me?

 "Yes, of course," nodded Ruby, whose fingers, meanwhile, were actively extracting cookies from the bag, while her eyes looked at her friend with the most sincere honesty.

 - And what will you say in your defense?!

 - Well... He's good, - the cookie finally left the captivity of the cruel packaging and was subjected to a saving "Am!" The girl's cheeks were still flushed.

 "Give me the bag!" Weiss said furiously, rushing towards Rose.

 - No-o-o-o-o! - the most precious treasure in the world was tightly pressed to her heart, and Ruby started to run.

 "Stop being childish!" Despite her own words, Schnee immediately started chasing him around the room. "Are you our Leader or what?!"

 - That's exactly it! - the brunette responded from her bed, from under the ceiling. - I am the Leader! You can't take the Leader's things!

 - R-r-r-r-r-r!!! - the blonde trembled from an excess of feelings, stretching her arms along her body until they crunched. - Yang, tell your sister!

 - Hee-hee-hee-hee... Hee-hee-hee... U-ha-ha-ha-ha... - finally, she heard the quiet, but for some reason very creepy sounds of laughter. The blonde's back, bent over the bag she had pulled out from under the bed, was shaking in some kind of dark ecstasy.

 "Yang?.." the recent disputants called out to the girl in chorus, completely forgetting about the cookies.

 - O-o-okay, redhead, I won't kill you, - the blonde said, not listening to them and as if talking to herself. - Y-y-yes, you know how to please a girl... Yes, how lovely! Hee-hee-hee-hee...

 "I'll go get some tea..." Blake slumped, rose from the floor, and before anyone could stop her, she darted out the door.

 The brunette's heart was pounding loudly in her ears, turning all other sounds into white noise. She didn't notice how she got to the kitchen - her head was filled with images of failure and her own insignificance against the backdrop of the universe. The former elite White Fang operative categorically refused to understand how someone could break down the door, sneak into the room unnoticed and do everything he did. You can't just sneak up on fauns without being subconsciously added to some list of "your own", whose noises are instinctively ignored. But this night visitor could... Ruby had just crunched as proof. And it was... monstrous. So monstrous that Blake Belladonna wanted to run.

 "A cute bow," an unfamiliar voice brought the girl out of the depths of her thoughts.

 Blinking, Blake's gaze shifted to the tall guy in the black leather jacket leaning against the wall, sipping coffee from a Beacon mug. The guy's face looked familiar, but she couldn't place it. Not that it was surprising; she'd seen a lot of new people in the last couple of days.

 "Thank you," the brunette responded dutifully and continued to conjure with the teapot, into which she had just poured tea leaves.

 "It matches your hair," the unexpected neighbor persisted.

 "Exactly," she echoed without turning around. This conversation was causing a feeling of deja vu, it seemed that no one in this academy could think of another topic for acquaintance except her bow.

 - It seems to me that you are depressed about something...

 Blake stopped her hand from reaching for the cup and glanced sideways at the guy. His red hair was perfectly combed back, dark glasses were sticking out of his chest pocket, and his green eyes were looking at her with distinct sympathy and some kind of offer.

 "It seems to you," the girl, overcoming a moment of weakness, picked up the cup.

 "Very well," someone said contentedly from behind. "Because I wouldn't want such a nice girl to hold a grudge against me."

 "What are you talking about?" the brunette turned to him, not understanding the phrase.

 - Oh, just like that, - the stranger walked to the sink and quickly rinsed out the empty cup. - By the way, since you're here, I think I'll be right if I say that Hoodie has also woken up and is now desperately wanting milk with her cookies?

 For a long second, Blake's mind froze, refusing to accept what she had heard and frantically searching for plausible explanations on the edge of her consciousness, but then... The sideways forward bounce was excellent, moreover, she even managed not to spill a single drop from the cup, although the latter did not bother her much.

 - It... was... you?

 - Was I what? - the interlocutor pretended not to understand her, but... she had one acquaintance, a fox faun, a lover of rather awkward jokes. Well, he grinned exactly the same way.

 - You snuck into our room... - another step back.

 - Bow, I'm shocked! - the red-haired man tragically put his right hand to his heart. - Shocked and disappointed by these baseless accusations! - Blake knew that they were brazenly lying to her face, but... at the same time, she did not feel any aggression or hostility from the man standing in front of her, if anything, it was these feelings that she had learned to distinguish very well... And on this note, as if hearing her thoughts, the guy's green eye winked slyly. - I didn't just sneak into the room, I also brought you gifts!

 – Medicine…

 "Please don't make that face, I'm starting to feel guilty, and I don't like feeling guilty in front of beautiful girls," the smile of the unknown, but clearly very dangerous guy eloquently testified that he was barely holding back from laughing.

 "What if I call the teachers now?" It wasn't that the girl was eager to do so, but it was the smartest thing that came to her mind.

 "Well, firstly, I'll disappear faster than they'll appear, secondly, it won't stop me from showing up to you again, and thirdly, there are only about one and a half people in all of Beacon who are really dangerous to me, and they're unlikely to come running to the screams of an embarrassed teenage girl… at least not right away."

 "Okay," Blake nodded, clearly feeling like she was doing something stupid. "What do you want?"

 "Hmm…" the green-eyed man thought for a moment and, nodding to some thoughts, said: "Drink tea surrounded by beautiful girls and embarrass them a little."

 "Seriously?" the brunette involuntarily raised her eyebrows.

 "Yes, that's my cunning plan for today," the guest confirmed. It looked ridiculous, but… overall, it fit perfectly with everything that had happened. "Will you help me make tea and coffee for my friends?"

 "Remind me, why should I help you?" the girl asked, trying to cope with her mixed feelings. Something inside told her that she didn't have much of a choice, but Blake didn't want to give up without trying.

 - Of course, to make sure that I won't put poison or something else interesting in your friends' cups. I'm not like that, of course, but you don't trust me yet.

 "… Convincing," the brunette had to admit.

 A couple of minutes later they were already entering the room. The red-haired guy with the tray in front, and Belladonna, who did not dare to turn her back on this guy, was right behind him. And she was also very worried about the fact that she could hardly hear his steps - she had to strain hard to recognize the touch of the soles of his shoes on the floor. Besides...

 - A-a-a-a-a-a! What is this? - a cry from the room opposite distracted her attention.

 - What the?! - This was further down the corridor.

 - I'll kill you, whoever you are! - another terrible howl.

 "It's begun," the guest grinned and, quickly pulling her inside, closed the door. "Hello, Hoodie, Dragon, Snowflake! Well, how are you settling in here?"

 - YOU?! - the girls' unanimous cry wove into the general cacophony of sounds. - You... You wrote that you wouldn't wait? - Ruby finished the thought.

 - That's how it was, - the guy put the tray with cups on the table with a magician's gesture. - I was about to leave, but then I thought: "How about I steal some coffee from old Oz?" He's an old senile old man, of course, but I tell you, he knows a thing or two about coffee. But what do you think? - Out of nowhere, a cane appeared in the guest's hands, on which he leaned theatrically. - That bespectacled pervert has completely lost his mind since last time! His storage room has more traps than the main treasury of Vale! Five hours of my life were wasted. And then he started binge-eating at night! And such people are now responsible for education - it's awful! I feel sorry for you already, girls.

 - What?! "Steal from old Oz"? "Glasses-faced pervert"? - Weiss couldn't believe that someone could speak so... so inappropriately about the famous headmaster of the best and most prestigious of all Hunter Academies.

 "Night Eater?" Blake interjected.

 - Don't pay attention, - the guest waved his hand, - when you graduate from Beacon, you too will have a bunch of the most interesting memories, including about the professors. But let's get back to business, you still haven't said how you got settled here!

 - Everything is great, redhead! Thanks for the gifts! - Yang jumped up to the guy in one movement and hugged him tightly. - Now let's talk about what kind of body movements are you making towards my cute little sister?! - An innocent friendly hug turned into a steely chokehold, and a happy smile turned into a bloodthirsty grin.

 - No, no, no, Little Dragon, - the guest, who somehow managed to slip out of the grip, found himself behind Xiao Long, - I'm not old Junior and I won't fall for such tricks, - the psycho who found himself behind her hugged the blonde around the waist and whispered, but loudly enough for everyone to hear: - As for Little Hood, after someone abandoned my sister to be torn apart by the cruel world, I had to take responsibility! So her future as my faithful henchman is entirely your fault! However, you can still provide her with moral support by taking a neighboring position, believe me, your chances are good, especially considering your craving for destruction and unmotivated violence.

 - Hey! My violence is very motivated! - Yang broke free from the grip, however, the guest did not even think of holding her back.

 - Hoodie, what's your opinion?

 "Um… well…" Ruby fidgeted, her cheeks flushing again, "I… y-yeah, of course, Yang never… well, I mean, nothing like that," the excuses sounded so pathetic and implausible that even the blonde didn't seem to believe them.

 - Don't do that! It's in your family! - Weiss snorted irritably, remembering the explosion of Dust when they met Ruby, as well as how she threw herself at every Grimm she met during the entrance exam. - And stop fooling around! - She turned to the guest. - Why did you come here?! Whoever you are and whatever your relationship with those two is, your behavior is immoral, illegal and simply unacceptable! Only teachers, students, service personnel, and persons invited by the teachers are allowed on the Academy grounds!

 "You forgot old Oz's field agents and all sorts of shady characters from the secret services of the government of Vale and other countries," the red-haired man corrected her with a smile on his face. "But yes, from the point of view of the average person, you are completely right!"

 "What does that mean?" Schnee frowned.

 "That I fully meet these requirements!" the guest happily tapped his cane. "Well…" he winced for a moment on the right side of his face, "maybe except for a couple of points…"

 "I wonder what kind of ones?" Weiss became even more suspicious, noticing how Ruby and Yang exchanged strange, awkward smiles at their friend's last words.

 - Let's put it this way... Little Glinda would be very eager to meet me, but I would not accept her invitation... Yes, definitely, for the next couple of months - that's it.

 "So you're an acquaintance of Miss Goodwitch's?" the girl asked again, feeling that she finally understood everything.

 She already knew that Ruby had come to Beacon by personal invitation of the Headmaster. Such invitations do not just come. It was obvious that his deputy had taken part in this, if only because all the documents, one way or another, passed through her. And this redhead obviously knew both sisters quite well, possibly being a friend of the family. Plus the mention of Miss Goodwitch and Headmaster Ozpin in a friendly, mocking tone and the ease with which the visitor escaped the grip of Yang, whose strength and skills Weiss had already managed to verify. It was obvious that this man was somehow connected with both the school administration and the sisters.

 Well, advantageous connections and acquaintances were something that Schnee understood very well. It seemed that the sisters were not as simple as she initially thought.

 "Yes, but unfortunately, our last meeting ended... too warmly..." the guest grinned, confirming her suspicions and exchanging glances with the sisters, who, judging by their embarrassed, strained smiles, were aware of that story.

 - Well... - having decided not to get involved in someone else's relationship, the white-haired girl tried to give her face the dignity appropriate to the occasion, - then I am glad to meet you. Nevertheless, I cannot help but note that I find this way of appearing quite... extravagant and still unacceptable.

 "You should get used to this, Snowflake," the guest caught the back of the nearest chair with the hook of his cane and pulled it towards himself. "Hunters and 'normal behavior' rarely go together. As a rule, the stronger you are, the more oddities and quirks of varying degrees of innocence you have. Besides, compared to that same Crow, I look like a model of culture and tact."

 "Hey, Uncle Crow is cool!" Ruby stood up for her beloved relative.

 "Yes, Ruby," Yang nodded, "but I have to admit, the redhead is right – old man Crow... well, it's Crow," whoever this mysterious "Crow" was, Weiss already didn't like him preemptively.

 "I'll tell him everything," Rose pouted.

 "I don't want to interrupt your… well, whatever you're doing, but the cups are getting cold," Blake said, drawing attention to herself.

 - Yes, Bow! - the guy glanced meaningfully at the brunette with a bow on her head. - You can tell he's an experienced person - war is war, but lunch is on schedule! - Blake glanced suspiciously at the guest, but he continued to grin as if nothing had happened, and a second later a kitchen knife flashed in the redhead's hands with a magician's gesture, pulled out from somewhere. The sleight of hand of this guy made one envious... a little. - Who's going to have the cake?

 "Why do you call us so strangely?" Weiss accepted her cup of coffee. "We have names!"

 "Names are too boring," the guest's attention was focused on distributing cups, "but cute nicknames are a completely different matter!"

 "But I don't like it!" Schnee crossed her arms over her chest.

 - Mmm... You're just like little Winter, - the red-haired man narrowed his eyes, either with reproach or hidden mockery. - I guarantee that in a month the guys will also give you the nickname "Snow Queen". But, - the ribbon tying the box with the cake fell to the floor, and the tip of the knife flew up, demanding attention to the next words, - until that happens, I can offer you the White Angel, - the guest suggested with a slight breath, raising his eyebrows. The girl felt her eyelid twitch.

 - Cough-cough-cough... - the sisters all caught a cold; there was no other way to explain such a synchronous coughing fit.

 "Miss Schnee would be much better," Weiss continued to insist.

 "I think such a beautiful, well-mannered and educated lady will forgive a little weakness to a man with a cake?" the platinum blonde chose to remain silent, but still did not refuse a piece of cake.

 "Why do you call this Winter, whoever she is, a baby?" Yang joined the conversation, having been deciding for a long time whether to continue talking to this asshole or to try to hit him. The plate with a fragrant piece of pastry that she received in her hands tipped the scales.

 - Winter is our Snowflake's older sister, and also the love of your Uncle Crow's life, - Weiss, who had just put a spoon in her mouth, almost choked. - More precisely... - looking at how Schnee was clearing his throat, the guest felt it necessary to correct himself, - they have some very complicated relationship. I'm not strong in the area of school flirting, but their games of "Pull the pigtails of the girl you like so that she yells at you" or "Hit you on the head with a school bag and run away, but not seriously, so that she would definitely catch up and beat you up" have long since passed into some completely unhealthy forms. Hunters, - the guest spread his hands, once again hinting at the not very healthy psyche of people who chose this path.

 "Uncle Crow has the love of his life, and she's like Weiss…" Ruby whispered, flying away somewhere into her thoughts, hiding her mouth in her palms.

 "Well, a little higher, but otherwise, yes, exactly the same," the red-haired man confirmed, finishing cutting and laying out the cake.

 "You didn't answer the question!" Yang accused the guest of misbehavior, actively working with a spoon.

 - That's what I call all the beautiful girls who, when they meet, want to hurt me and have some chance of hurting me, but are good and kind in themselves. So you, ladies, have a pretty good chance too! Ow! - the guy turned his head to the left. - Neo, don't pinch, I didn't call you baby because I think you want to hurt me! And don't nudge me with your elbow, I didn't say that being short is bad!

 "He's... talking to an empty corner?" Blake asked her friends cautiously.

 - Um... He-he. Well... Neo is his imaginary friend, - Ruby clarified the situation, bending down and trying to speak as quietly as possible. - I... had one too... but it was a long time ago! - the girl immediately corrected herself.

 - Ye-e-e... Things are really bad for him, - Yang nodded to her sister. - I even feel sorry for him. Almost.

 - ... - Weiss simply remained silent, still unable to fully accept the fact that Winter had someone. And this someone was some kind of... some kind of scumbag, even by the standards of the sisters and that red-haired guy! And Winter was silent about him... although Weiss could perfectly understand why, but still... she was her sister! She could have said so!

 "So... that's also a 'Hunter problem', right?" Belladonna clarified, still leaning towards Rose.

 - You got the gist, Bow! - the redhead nodded benevolently, not even pretending that he hadn't heard anything. - One correction: Neo is not an "imaginary" friend, she is real. If you had been more attentive, you would have noticed that we were carrying not five cups and saucers, but six, and that I was laying out six pieces of cake, one of which Neo is currently eating.

 Four pairs of eyes crossed on the tray where all the cups had stood. The tray was already empty. Three pairs of eyes crossed on the Leader.

 "Ah… I wasn't looking in that direction," Rose immediately denied, hiding her nose in her coffee mug.

 "For some reason, I don't want to continue this topic," Blake said, looking at the remains of the cake after five (or six – it was completely impossible to determine from these remains) eaters.

 - Okay, okay, enough about me! - the guest smiled. - How was your first day? Are you already imbued with the Grandeur of the old Port? - a friendly groan was his answer. - Aha, so you are already imbued...

 All in all, the get-together turned out to be rather strange, but, paradoxically, quite pleasant. Their guest knew how to joke, tell something unusual, and sometimes just make you blush with a couple of phrases... by the same strange coincidence, most of these phrases were intended for Hood... ugh, that is, Ruby. But the cake was eaten, the tea and coffee were drunk, and it was time for the guest to say goodbye.

 - Okay, girls, it was nice to see you and meet the new members of the team, but even though you are indecently sweet and beautiful, my villainous duty requires my presence in other places. I think we'll see each other again... one way or another, he-he! - and with these words their guest... went out the window.

 "Decent people go out the door!" Weiss snorted, watching this scene.

 - Oh! Miss Goodwitch! - Blake said, continuing to watch the exit of the unknown Hunter.

 - And what's there?!

 "If you don't make noise, maybe we'll hear something," the other girls fell silent, and the camouflaged cat pricked up her ears.

 Meanwhile, their guest walked towards the takeoff pad as if nothing had happened.

 - Young man, what are you doing on Beacon's territory? Hmm... your face seems vaguely familiar to me.

 - Good afternoon, Miss Goodwitch. I am Loki Asgard, a new technician, just off the night shift.

 - Oh, I see, - the deputy director relaxed a little. - But your shift ended almost three hours ago? - but not completely.

 - Yes, but just at the end of the shift, an alert about a dead workbench in the workshops fell on the Scroll, - the red-haired man ran his hand to the back of his head, slightly tousling his hair. - By the time I diagnosed it, by the time I found what the problem was, by the time I got new modules from the warehouse and replaced them...

 "But you weren't coming from the direction of the workshops..." the teacher continued to frown.

 - Um... yeah, but... you see, I've been on my feet for two days, and the guys told me that you can get a cup of coffee in the dorm. I hope I haven't done anything reprehensible?

 "No," the woman finally relaxed and even smiled with the corners of her lips. "Thank you for your hard work, and now if you'll excuse me, I have to go."

 - Of course, good afternoon, Miss Goodwitch.

 "And to you too, Mr. Asgard," Glinda nodded and headed towards the dormitory again. "By the way…" she stopped halfway, "have you noticed anything strange in the dormitory?"

 "Um, no, just some group of students from above were making noise, discussing something, but I didn't make out what, and I was in a hurry to finish my snack so as not to disturb anyone when they started to come down," the guy answered with the most honest look.

 "Okay," at this point the conversation was finally over, and the interlocutors went their separate ways.

 - I can't believe it! He just up and left! Right through Miss Goodwitch! - Yang was the first to break the silence. - What a sly... - she glanced sideways at Ruby, - a sly ass... - another sideways glance, - guy, - here the girl noticed another detail... - And he made us flash him in our nightgowns for a whole hour, and we didn't even notice! Nasty swindler! - the blonde flushed. - I'll kill you!

 "I agree about the swindler, but... Isn't he your friend?" Weiss asked. "And by the way, what's his name? This ill-mannered guy never introduced himself to us, and I didn't catch his name in the conversation with Miss Goodwitch.

 - A-a-a... - Ruby and Yang exchanged glances. - Well... It's... He-he...

 - Who? Speak up!

 "It was Roman Torchwick," Ruby said, her head hunched guiltily.

 "And he's not exactly a friend, more like a reluctant acquaintance who's very good at putting you in a situation where you can't start punching him in the face!" Yang added quickly, helping herself with gestures.

 - WHAT?.. You mean... That same Torchwick that's been on all the channels for a week?! The most wanted thief in Vale was sitting and drinking tea with us?!

 "Quiet, quiet," Yang covered her friend's mouth with her hand in fear. "You saw it yourself – we couldn't do anything!"

 "And… has anyone seen my Scroll?" Blake asked melancholically, digesting the fact that her professional pride and ability to disguise had just been marched over with hobnailed boots.

 "There, I think," Ruby pointed to the rumpled blanket on Belladonna's bed, from under the edge of which the edge of the device was peeking out.

 "Thank you... Oh..." Blake thanked and, taking out the Scroll, froze, staring at its screen.

 "What's wrong?" Yang sensed something was wrong.

 - He added himself to my contacts as "Bow Fan Number One"... - the brunette said in a lifeless voice, in a strange state. On the one hand, it wasn't that hard to admit that her skills were worse than those of the country's most wanted criminal, after all, he still hadn't been caught. But on the other hand, the fact that he was interested in them was already alarming. As were his words about her talent and the offer of a "different" profession... No, she had broken with the past and would not slip down that crooked path again! Right?..

 - What a cheeky fellow! - Noticing her Scroll under the blanket, Weiss quickly took it and first checked the phone book. - He wrote himself down for me: "Cute Bad Boy"!

 - Huh? - Xiao Long was also interested and grabbed the last device in the pile. - "Big Boss"?! You won't get it!

 Then the girls realized something, and three pairs of eyes turned to the suspiciously quiet and trying to appear inconspicuous Ruby.

 "Your Scroll isn't here," the brunette was the first to speak.

 "Um… Well…" Rose's eyes darted around the room, looking for a topic to change the conversation to.

 "He already called you," the blonde recalled.

 "And how did this incredibly impudent man write down his number for you?" Weiss continued the baton.

 - It doesn't matter! - Ruby jumped up from her seat. - Let's clear away the dishes!

 The girls looked at each other.

 "Give me your Scroll!" Miss Xiao Long demanded in a voice that brooked no objection.

 "No!" The red-haired huntress staggered to the other side of the room, clutching the device to her chest. "That's personal information!"

 - Blake, you're on the left, Weiss is on the right, I'm in the center. Grab her!

 - Not fair!!!

 A short scuffle with screams and kicks ended with the majority winning…

 - "Your Dark Knight"?! - Yang screamed like a wounded beluga, having obtained the treasured Scroll. - I'll tear off everything unnecessary from this redhead!

 - I-i-i-i-i-ng, you're mean! Give it back! - Ruby, freed from the grip that weakened the moment after the key information was voiced, snatched the Scroll and, pouting, ran off to her bed under the ceiling.

 "Hey, don't be offended," the blonde followed her, though she didn't jump up, but only stood by the bed. "Ruby, that's enough. Don't be mad-e-e-e!"

 "What are we going to do?" Blake weighed her device in her hand and looked at her friends. "Delete it?"

 "Of course!" Weiss quickly fixed her hair. "No one is allowed to steal from the Schnee family just to leave their phone number!"

 "Well... In theory, his number might be useful to us," Belladonna said, not really believing what she was saying.

 - Okay. Fine, - the thoroughly proper and decent platinum blonde agreed suspiciously quickly. - But he won't be a Cute Bad Boy, he'll be a "Red-Haired Scoundrel"! - the girl assured with feigned dignity and importance.

 "Wow," Yang whistled. "There's going to be someone named 'scammer' on Weiss's contact list..."

 - Don't you dare, do you hear me?! Don't say that as if this is an indicator of my upbringing and social circle! - Schnee flared up.

 "I'm keeping quiet," Xiao Long said, looking at the ceiling with a grin. "Hey, Ruby, have you cooled down there?"

 - Hr-r-r-r, - came the answer from the depths of the pillow. - You made me embarrassed! You're a bad sister, Yang!

 - Well, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...

 "I'll take the dishes away," Blake sighed, collecting the cups on a tray and opening the door. "Um… girls… I think we missed something."

 Team RWBY perked up their ears:

 - ...don't push! Let's let girls and those with particularly bad drawings go first! Go to other floors, maybe there are free bathrooms there! - Jaune Arc, flashing his little drawn-on moustache and black bangs, tried to direct several students to their positions.

 - Yes, Captain! Yes sir, Captain! - Nora Valkery answered him, pleased, trying to adjust her painted glasses. - Ren, have I already told you that this beard and moustache suit you?

 "Yes, Nora," the guy with the painted-on "Chinese" beard and mustache responded melancholically, "as many as seventeen times in the last five minutes."

 "Captain, all the bathrooms are occupied!" Pyrrha Nikos, decorated with brutal scars, also drawn, of course, approached Jaune. "The Cardinal team tried to storm one of the bathrooms, but was shamefully beaten by the seniors!"

 – Sinks in the kitchens?

 - No chance...

 - So! - Glinda Goodwitch's icy voice broke through the general "business panic". - What's going on here?

 - M-Miss Goodwitch. Ma'am, - Jaune stood at attention, his gaze falling on him, - this morning, all the students on this floor woke up with their faces painted with permanent marker. And now we're trying to wash it off... - Ark also realized the illogicality of the phrase, but it accurately reflected the essence of reality.

 At this point, Blake slammed the door, no longer interested in further dialogue.

 "What a bastard!" Yang hissed, looking out the window with her eyes turning scarlet.

 "Who?" her sister didn't understand, even forgetting about the insult.

 - Torchwick! It's definitely his doing!

 "You think so?" Weiss raised an eyebrow.

 - Do you know any other crazy guy who can quietly enter a room with a team of Hunters, do his dirty work and leave just as quietly?

 "N-no," Schnee answered uncertainly. "But why would he need it?"

 - Who would have known? That redhead is crazy! Maybe it was some kind of clever plan to distract attention, or maybe he just wanted to! It doesn't matter, we have a more important problem right now!

 - What? - Ruby didn't understand.

 - Ruby, who do you think that crowd of angry students with painted faces will think of if they see us - clean and without traces of harsh scrubbing of "decoration"? - pointing her finger towards the door, the blonde made scary eyes.

 *Gulp* – Rose swallowed loudly. – Aaaah… as the team leader, I order you: we do not leave the room! – the weekend in Beacon promised to be no less interesting than the weekdays.

 The novel "The Red-Haired Scoundrel" by Torchwick. Almost there.

 - Phew, we almost got caught, - I understood that I was already taking a big risk, and in general, if you think about it, the trip to Beacon was not that necessary, the same materials could have been obtained from the corresponding warehouses in Vale, visiting the girls, if I really needed to, was also possible during their weekend trip to the city, but instead, on a wave of courage, I climbed into Ozpin's lair. And the worst thing is - I liked it! It seems that my joke assumptions about cockroaches in the heads of strong Aura users are not so jokey, only if the original Roman had an obsession with himself, a kind of narcissism, then I am "drawn" to be a trickster. And yet, with Glinda it turned out great, maybe she will even write a bonus to Loki? After all, I was so selflessly fixing the workbench, I even stayed for overtime!

 - (^_^), - Neo obviously liked it too.

 - I'll have to come back sometime... Maybe I should really try to find and clean out Oz's stash? It has to be there, it just has to be!

 – (>_>)… – they hit me lightly. – (T_T)… – and made pitiful eyes, as if to say, "Are you really going to send little tired me somewhere else? Cry-cry."

 - Of course, not today and not even this week, but the idea itself... is promising, - the girl nodded in response and settled herself more comfortably in the passenger seat of the bullhead, closing her eyes. After all, we really have been on our feet for the second day, even if it is not much for an Aura user, but both of our Manifestations were used heartily, both me, who filled the "inner space" albeit not to the brim, but quite noticeably, and Neo, who first covered my adventures, and then hid from four observers at once during tea drinking.

 But be that as it may, an hour later we were already home, and looking at how contentedly the girl stretched, I remembered one very important intention.

 "Hmm... but you know, I promised you something... mentally..." my voice took on an ingratiating intonation.

 - (O_o)?

 - You see, Neo, I... - my speech was interrupted by the sound of a call to the Scroll. And not to the Scroll for work, but specially purchased for communication first with Taiyang's daughters, and now with two more subscribers. I had another number to contact Cinder and White Fang.

 - Yes, yes? - under the interested gaze of Neopolitan I accept the challenge.

 - Um, hi... It's Ruby. Ruby Rose... Am I disturbing you? - Little Red Riding Hood's timid voice gave away her owner's tension.

 - No, Kayushonchik, I'm always glad to hear from you! - I almost didn't lie. - Did something happen?

 - Well... Not exactly. I wanted to ask...

 - About what?

 "Why…" the girl fell silent, uncertain, but still continued the sentence: "Did you draw on the faces of half the dorm?"

 "Me what?" I raise an eyebrow, looking into Neo's eyes.

 "Half the dorm is running around with drawn-on moustaches, glasses, beards, and bangs. They don't wash off, some kind of permanent marker was used," Ruby answered readily, like an excellent student in class. "So... why did you do it?"

 - Um... - in response to my look and the sounds from the Scroll, Neo innocently fluttered her eyelashes, shining with a completely shameless, but very pleased face. - It wasn't me, it was Neo. At first she wanted to draw on you, but I didn't let her. Then, while I was mining the cornice, she had nothing to do, I think that's the reason.

 - Oh... Neo... I get it...

 "You don't believe me," I stated with reproach in my voice.

 - No, of course, I believe you! - I could feel her eyes darting around.

 - So, yes? Nobody believes the poor King of Thieves, eh, why?

 - Uh-uh... - the other end was clearly hanging.

 - Everything is clear with you, Hoodie... I approve!

 - Uh-uh? - the "tone signal" changed its tone slightly.

 - Healthy paranoia is the key to a healthy paranoid. And I'll introduce you to Neo later!

 - O-okay! Oh. Sorry, I have to run! I'll call again later! - and hung up.

 - No, seriously? Permanent marker?

 – (^_^).

 - Okay, let's just leave this topic... Where were we? - Indeed, now and already having set my mind to certain things, I simply didn't want to discuss this - there was no time for that... - Oh yes, about the promise...

 - (O_o)?

 - You see, Neo, I am a healthy male organism, and when a pretty girl, who I'm already crazy about, is grinding on me for several hours in a row... You'll have to take responsibility!

 - (o_O)???

 - Come here! - grabbing the lady who had no intention of running away, I began to greedily kiss her lips, gradually moving to her neck, and my hands were unbuttoning the buttons of her jacket with all my might.

 – (>_<)!.. – she stepped back and extended her right hand in a stopping gesture.

 - What's wrong? - It was hard to hold back, and honestly I didn't expect this, but I couldn't offend this cutie either. In response, she quickly darted to her room, from where she ran back just as quickly - without her jacket, but with a pack of some pills.

 – (^_^), – Neo squeezed a couple out of the blister and swallowed them right away. After which…

 - Mmm! - So, who is seducing whom in the end? No, the fact that the lady herself showed such initiative is commendable, but I was not going to let her play the first violin. I grab the girl hanging on me and passionately kissing under the butt, at the same time once again making sure of her ideal tonedness and elasticity, and go to my room... or should I say "ours" now? It doesn't matter, there was a long day ahead, and none of us clearly planned to spend it on conversations.