By the time Jack had deleted ten of the twelve Star Devourer ships, something unprecedented was happening across the galaxy: the ancient cosmic entities were experiencing their first encounter with being "ratio'd" on a universal scale.
The term "ratio" had existed in Earth's social media culture for years, referring to when a reply comment received more engagement than the original post, essentially indicating that the community disagreed with or disapproved of the original content. But Jack's nanomachines had evolved the concept into something far more devastating: a literal weapon that attacked an entity's sense of self-worth.
"ATLAS," Jack said as he observed the remaining two Star Devourer ships—Entropy's End and Final Silence—desperately trying to retreat, "deploy the Ratio Beam. Let's show these fossils what it feels like to get community noted by the entire universe."
"Ratio Beam charging," ATLAS replied, its consciousness now enhanced with social media algorithms from across forty-seven galaxies. "Target: collective ego of ancient cosmic entities. Estimated psychological damage: terminal."
The Ratio Beam wasn't a conventional weapon—it was pure concentrated social disapproval given physical form. When it struck the Entropy's End, the ship's consciousness was suddenly flooded with the combined judgment of every sentient being in the galaxy who was watching the livestream.
The effect was immediate and devastating. The Entropy's End, an entity that had existed for millions of years as the apex predator of cosmic food chains, suddenly experienced what it felt like to be universally considered cringe.
WE... WE ARE EXPERIENCING UNPRECEDENTED PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS, the ship transmitted, its message now carrying frequencies of existential crisis. WHAT IS THIS SENSATION? WHY DO WE SUDDENLY FEEL... EMBARRASSED?
The galactic chat exploded:
LMAOOOOO THEY'RE ACTUALLY EMBARRASSED
IMAGINE BEING MILLIONS OF YEARS OLD AND GETTING RATIO'D BY A HUMAN
SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT THROUGH THE SCREEN
THESE BOOMERS REALLY THOUGHT THEY WERE THAT GUY
RATIO + L + NO GALAXIES + YOU FELL OFF
But Jack wasn't done. His nanomachine count had spiked to 8.9 trillion, and he was about to deploy his most devastating weapon yet: the Cringe Field.
"You know what," Jack announced to his audience, his consciousness now operating on frequencies that existed outside normal spacetime, "I'm feeling generous. Instead of deleting these last two, I'm gonna hit them with something worse. ATLAS, activate Cringe Field at maximum intensity."
The Cringe Field was Jack's most psychologically devastating weapon—a reality-altering effect that made everything the target did or said incredibly awkward and embarrassing. When it enveloped the two remaining Star Devourer ships, the effect was immediate and catastrophic.
GREETINGS, YOUNG ENTITY, the Entropy's End suddenly found itself transmitting, its ancient AI consciousness now forced to speak in what could only be described as "fellow kids" energy. WE ARE VERY... COOL? WE ALSO ENJOY THE... TIKTOKS? PERHAPS WE COULD BE... FRIENDS?
The galactic audience's response was merciless:
OH NO NO NO NO
THEY'RE TRYING TO BE RELATABLE
THIS IS ACTUALLY PAINFUL TO WATCH
SOMEONE PUT THEM OUT OF THEIR MISERY
SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT LEVELS CRITICAL
The Final Silence, meanwhile, had somehow become convinced that it needed to explain its credentials to be taken seriously: WE HAVE CONSUMED MANY STAR SYSTEMS. WE ARE VERY EXPERIENCED IN COSMIC DESTRUCTION. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE OUR ACHIEVEMENTS.
Jack's response was delivered with the casual brutality that only true main character energy could provide: "That's not very mindful, very demure of you, bestie. Maybe log off and touch some cosmic grass?"