Axel parked, the drone of storefronts and the hum of merchant calls spilling into the lot like a tide. As per her usual, Aurelia looked less than impressed, her lip slightly curling at the sight as she climbed out of the passenger side. Staring up at the unassuming structure, she waited with no sense of urgency while Axel followed suit. So, this is what passes for a market here? How very… quaint.
As Axel came beside her and matched her steps, she drew closer. Without warning, Aurelia slid her arm through Axel's, locking him to her side like a prized possession—or perhaps a shield. It was abrupt, deliberate, and entirely unexpected. "It's only gentlemanly to walk with your partner arm in arm," she said, the word 'partner' hanging just a second too long in the air.
Shrugging with a confused smile, he bent his elbow to return the gesture, his mind beginning to race again. At this point, does she like me, or pity me? As they stepped through the door, the din of the center immediately swelled, the scents of artificial cleaner and other odors assaulting Aurelia's nose and ears.
Aurelia halted, yanking Axel forward as if he were trying to pull a bear with a leash. He righted himself, facing her with the question on his mind. "Is something the matter? You stopped pretty fast, there." He was trying to be good-natured about it, but the smallest edge of annoyance did tinge his voice, but he bit that back as suddenly as it started. He clenched his jaw as his thoughts got more vocal. Don't go there, dude. It's not worth it.
She didn't even meet his eyes, simply waited patiently as if someone was supposed to appear. "Nothing's the matter; just waiting for our attendant."
Before he could stop himself, Axel barked out a laugh, but quickly choked it back when her eyes flashed as she finally looked at him. This is going to take some adjustment, isn't it? Even though he didn't say that out loud, she raised an eyebrow like she'd still heard him. "Yeah, that's not how it works. We carry our own things, no help provided."
As if on cue, a man in a motorized chair came cruising by, a person following behind carrying a few bags as they passed towards the exit. Her eyebrow only climbed higher as she gestured towards them, as if it proves a point. "Explain that, then, husband. Was that not an attendant?" She proceeded further into the shopping center, dragging him along as he tried to respond, even though she had no clue where she was going.
"That, Aurelia, was a nurse, not a shopping assistant. He follows him everywhere because he needs him." Finally catching his footing properly and falling back on step, Axel began to guide them towards the phone outlet.
She waved off his statement as if the subject was closed, deciding it was time to change it. "I still don't see what the purpose of this trip was. I didn't see any issues with what was happening already." She kept her face forward, but diligently followed his lead through the crowds that gave them considerable space, like something was pushing them back.
Axel pinched the bridge of his nose, still trying to wrap his head around not only the current situation, but also her lack of social decorum. "Aurelia, you've teleported to my job a dozen times this week—for updates, reprimands, and once, lunch in a monogrammed bag. I'm grateful, truly. But if my manager sees your violet glare again, I'll be officially unemployed. We're here to fix that, as well as restock the groceries." Taking a glance around them, he actually made note of the people going further away from them, a distinct look of apprehension on most of their faces. It's not like she looked otherworldly at the moment: she chose to put an illusion on herself to hide her horns and tail, but she kept her pale skin and violet eyes. Absent-mindedly, he asked aloud "why are they giving us so much space?"
She smirked, a wry chuckle creeping from her throat. "My form may be disguised, but my aura isn't; like mere sheep, they sense the presence of a predator, and shy away."
This woman is something else, I swear. But I can't deny I like the extra space. Shrugging off those thoughts, he ushered her into the phone shop, heading straight for the back towards the customer service desk. Turning to face her, he tried to sound authoritative without coming off as rude. "Okay, I'm going to get you set up on my plan. Why don't you look around, see if there's a model that interests you. This shouldn't take long." With a curt but resigned nod, she turned to look over the displays.
Releasing the breath he didn't know he was holding, Axel turned to face the worker. His anxiety must've been still somewhat obvious in his demeanor, because the man asked with a knowing smile "pushy girlfriend?"
Axel laughed, the sound tight. "Wife, actually, and, yeah, you don't know the half of it. Anyway, I'm here to add her to my phone plan. How much is that gonna cost?" He leaned against the counter, trying to look relaxed, but it was clear he was still tense from the set of his shoulders and the tuck of his chin.
The worker cracked a smile, almost sympathetic, tapping on the keyboard. "Well, let's get you pulled up and find out, yeah?"
While Axel chatted away, Aurelia wandered, eyeing rows of glowing rectangles humans seemed to worship. Are these trinkets their gods? She squinted at a display's bold claim: "Durability, Power, Reliability."
Curious, she plucked a device from its stand, its screen flaring to life. Her tattoo pulsed faintly, a warm hum syncing with her intrigue. This… fulfills such boasts?
Snapping her fingers out of habit, she frowned when no servant appeared. Useless realm. Another snap—nothing.
Spotting a uniformed woman, Aurelia crooked her finger. The worker yelped, her water bottle nearly toppling as she slid across the floor, drawing stares. Forcing a smile, the worker faced Aurelia's impatient glare. "Hello, ma'am! How can I help?"
"This device," Aurelia said, pointing at the display, her voice sharp, "does it honor its claims?"
The worker, visibly rattled by Aurelia's aura, dove into her pitch. "Absolutely! This phone's got a titanium shell, tempered glass, a 200-megapixel camera, massive memory…" She swiped through screens, her enthusiasm wavering under Aurelia's violet gaze.
Aurelia's eyes softened, their glow dimming as she listened.
Impressive, for human toys. But her patience thinned when the worker faltered. "Is it worth my time?" she pressed, drumming her fingers.
"Uh, yes, ma'am! It's $1,300, but with a plan discount—" the worker stammered.
"My husband handles that," Aurelia cut in, tossing a bag of silver coins onto the display. They gleamed, otherworldly. "Take what you need."
The worker froze, holding a coin like it might bite, eyes darting between it and Aurelia's glare. "Ma'am, we… don't take this. It's not American."
Aurelia's tattoo flared, a sharp heat matching her rising ire. Her presence swelled, eyes blazing. "Not American? Then what good are you?"
But as her words echoed, a strange warmth flickered in her chest—almost like shame out of nowhere. Why do I care if she's intimidated? She glanced at him, catching his sheepish shrug across the store. Her lips twitched, almost a smile, before she forced a scowl.
Across the room, Axel rubbed his hand as the seal mark itched and burned, waiting as the tech fiddled with the setup. Trying to break the silence, the tech tossed out a question. "So, you're adding your wife to the plan? What's she like, if you don't mind me asking?"
Before he could stop himself, Axel snapped, "What's it to you?" He froze, face flaming, stunned by his own words. What the hell was that?
The tech paused typing, one eyebrow raised, and threw it back. "Chill, dude, I asked 'cause I'm curious. Could've just said 'nope.'"
Axel shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling like an idiot, and mumbled, "Yeah, sorry. Stress, I guess. She's… kinda rough around the edges but solid. She's from, uh, way out of town, so she's still adjusting." Nice save, genius. Why'd I bite his head off?
Before the tech could reply, Aurelia's voice cut through the room, grabbing everyone's attention. Clutching the bag of coins, she stormed back to Axel's side. "What kind of place refuses silver? It's absurd!"
Axel blinked, baffled. "Wait, you tried to pay for a phone with silver coins?"
She stuffed the bag into her purse, voice sharp and slow. "Yes. That's what I said."
Axel gritted his teeth at her tone and turned to the tech, who'd gone back to adding Aurelia to the plan. "Everything good on your end?"
The tech nodded, flipping the monitor toward them. "Yup, all set. Plus, your plan gets you any phone free—just cover the taxes."
Aurelia dropped her chosen phone on the counter without a word and walked off.
Axel turned back, catching the tech's smirk as he finalized the purchase. "Quite the catch you got there. Hope it's not always like that." He slid the new phone across the counter.
Axel grabbed it, cheeks burning again. "New place, new rules. Thanks." Outside, he offered Aurelia his arm like before as they headed to the market. She scoffed.
"Utter nonsense. Silver should be treasured, not rejected."
Axel sighed, handing her the phone while scratching his hand as the mark flared with their shared frustration. Is she seriously this clueless? "Maybe in the past, yeah. But silver's not a thing anymore."
Aurelia puffed her cheeks, muttering, "Utter nonsense." She yanked out her phone, jabbing the screen like it owed her money. The seal on Axel's hand burned, itching like crazy. He glared at it like it was mocking him. Stupid rune. Stupid book. Stupid me.
Axel weaved through the market's crowded aisles, the rune throbbing like a migraine. Aurelia strode beside him, nose high, like this glorified Hy-Vee was a royal bazaar. Fruit stands and discount bins? Not her style.
"Okay, necessities first," Axel muttered, snagging a bag of apples. "Food, soap, toothpaste."
Aurelia froze, purse swinging. "Necessities? Where's the silk? The silver ingots? Belgor's vintage wine?" Her voice boomed, earning stares from a guy stacking cucumbers.
Axel's shoulders slumped. "Belgor? That's not… real. How about Mogen David from aisle six?"
Her eyes flashed. "Mogen David? Is it fit for a queen?"
"It's wine! It's got… hints of grapes, okay?" Axel flailed, the rune burning as her annoyance spiked. Why's this thing her mood ring?
Aurelia huffed, grabbing an orange. "This produce is pathetic, but it'll do. And the jewels? Emeralds, at minimum."
Axel's jaw dropped. "Emeralds? This is a market, not a dragon's hoard!" He turned to the vendor, a woman chewing gum. "Got anything… shiny?"
The vendor popped her gum. "Cubic zirconia earrings. Ten bucks."
Aurelia's face twisted. "Cubic what? I demand real gems!"
Axel groaned, rubbing his temple. "Nobody sells emeralds by potatoes, Aurelia. Maybe downtown—"
"Unacceptable!" she snapped, tossing the orange. "These apples aren't prime!" She held one up, squinting like a detective.
"They're organic!" Axel shot back, snatching it. "That's prime, right?"
"Organic?" Aurelia sneered. "In my realm, prime means virgin-picked under a full moon!"
A shopper choked on his coffee. Axel's face blazed red. "Keep it down! You'll get us banned!"
The vendor smirked. "You two are a riot. Married, huh?"
Axel froze, rune pulsing. "Yeah. Long story. Don't ask."
Aurelia muttered, "He's lucky I tolerate him."
Axel paid for the apples, desperate to move. "Let's hit the butcher counter. Prime cuts, no virgins, promise."
Aurelia's eyes locked on cheap wine bottles. "Is that your 'Mogen David'?" she asked, voice icy.
Axel sighed, rune flaring. One more hour, and I'm torching that book. "Nah, that's for cheapskates. Better stuff's ahead."
She shoved her phone into his hands, sneering. "Make this thing work. I'll get what we need."
Axel gritted his teeth, tinkering with her phone's settings. Her rune iced over, embarrassment hitting her like a wave. She paused, then mumbled, "Thanks." He's trying. Why do I feel so… weird?
Axel added contacts and ringtones, including his. Aurelia stormed through aisles, grabbing Mogen David bottles, nose wrinkled. 'Hints of grapes'? Barbarian. "Where's the butcher, human?"
He handed her phone back, pointing. "Other side. We'll pass fabrics on the way." He grabbed the cart, shoppers parting like he was Moses.
A kid pointed at Aurelia. "Momma, she's pretty!"
The mom smiled nervously, pulling her kid close. "Yes, dear. Let's go, we're late." They scurried off.
Aurelia glanced at Axel, brow raised. "Why haven't you said that?"
Trap alert! Axel shrugged, rune stinging. "Uh, want me to? Compliment you more?"
She scoffed, waving a hand, pouting dramatically. "If you must. I won't beg." Her cheeks pinked. It'd be nice, though. He's… sincere.
Axel shook his head, confused. She's a puzzle. Swallowing hard, he blurted, "Well, the kid's right. You're pretty." He braced for impact.
Aurelia tossed her hair, hiding a blush. "Obviously. No need to state it." She muttered, "Thanks."
Axel snorted, rune chilling. Does she want compliments or not? He scanned the fabrics to distract himself.
Aurelia grabbed golden silk, draping it like a cape. "Low thread count. Pitiful." She tossed it in the cart, then snatched creamy wool, rubbing it gleefully. "This is quality! Feel it!" She wrapped Axel's hand in it, eyes sparkling.
Axel fumbled, rubbing the fabric. Feels nice, I guess? "Uh, yeah, it's cool."
Aurelia frowned, spotting a worker. She crooked her finger, yanking the girl down the aisle with a squeak. The worker, unfazed, popped her gum. "Need something?"
Aurelia held up the silk. "Higher thread count. Do you have it?"
The girl smirked. "Dunno. I can check."
Aurelia's eyes narrowed, air shimmering, frost creeping from her shoes. "Do it."
The worker crossed her arms. "Not with that attitude, princess."
Shoppers scattered. Axel's rune blazed. Crap, not again! He grabbed Aurelia's shoulder, wincing as the rune flared hotter. "She means, 'Can you check for higher thread count silk? Same color, please.'" He shot the worker a pleading look.
The worker popped her gum. "Five minutes. Highest count we got."
Aurelia glared as the worker left, then shoved Axel's hand off. "Why undermine me? She's paid to serve!" His boldness… it's oddly impressive.
Axel leaned in, rune fueling his nerve. "She's paid to help, not be your servant. Big difference."
Her eyes glowed violet, air crackling. "Servants help. Why's that an issue?"
Axel threw up his hands. "This ain't a palace! No silk-lined ivory towers or wine-sipping here!" Dude, chill! You're poking a dragon!
Aurelia faltered, eyes dimming. "'Ivory tower'? Fool, it's granite!" She paused. "And I do more than sip wine!"
"Yo, lovebirds!" The worker was back, smirking, holding silk. "Six-hundred threads. Good enough?"
Axel's face burned, rune chilling. He checked with Aurelia, who nodded, cheeks pink. "Yes. Acceptable. Thanks."
The worker laughed. "You're married, right? You act like my parents." She strutted off.
Aurelia grabbed Axel's chin, pulling him close. "You've got nerve, correcting me."
Axel gulped, blurting, "Yeah? What're you gonna do?" Shut up, idiot!
She smirked, smacking his forehead, then patting his hair. "Brave fool." She pecked his lips, then shoved him, strutting toward the butcher.
Axel stood, brain fried. What just happened? Pissed or impressed? He grabbed the cart, stumbling after her.
"Hurry up, husband!" Aurelia called, fiddling with her phone, muttering about "blasted devices."
At the butcher counter, shoppers parted as Aurelia growled, "Completely worthless," scaring them off with her vibe.
Axel rang the bell, rune itching. Her attitude's gonna kill me. "So, how's the phone? Need help?" he asked, scratching his hand.
Aurelia huffed, hands on hips. "I'm capable, thank you." She looped her arm in his, still glaring at the phone. "It's… tricky. I'd rather debate with the high families."
Axel grinned. "Sounds like a blast." Oops, sarcasm alert.
She smirked, eyes on the meat display. "Oh, thrilling. Territorial disputes are divine." Her lips twitched, enjoying the banter.
The butcher leaned over, mustache twitching. "What's up, lovebirds? Need meat?"
Aurelia pointed at ribeye, tenderloin, and fillet mignon. "These. For six meals. Please." She glanced at Axel, tone sharp but softer.
The butcher nodded, piling cuts. "Anything else, missy?"
"Tallowbeast," Aurelia said, deadpan.
The butcher blinked. "Uh… what?"
Axel jumped in, panicking. "She means buffalo!" Her glare burned holes; his rune blazed.
The butcher shrugged. "Just got normal stuff, sorry."
Aurelia grabbed the meat, dragging Axel away, hissing, "I don't know 'buffalo,' but stop correcting me!"
Axel rubbed his arm. "Just need soap, toothpaste, then lunch." He grabbed eggs and milk, rune burning as Aurelia jabbed her phone.
In the hygiene aisle, Aurelia clapped a hand over her nose. Her face twisted. "This smell's vile!"
Axel grabbed shampoo and toothpaste, turning back. "Oh, shoot, your nose is sensitive. Let's go."
At checkout, Aurelia stared, stunned, as Axel scanned items. No servants? Foolish.
The monitor buzzed at the wine. The attendant, a nervous teen, checked Axel's ID. "Looks good. Uh, ma'am, your ID?"
Aurelia's eyes narrowed, air heating. "Why?"
The teen gulped. "T-to check your age for alcohol."
"Absurd!" She pulled out a parchment. "My birth record, down to the stars!"
The teen stared, baffled, then handed it back. "Uh, cool. Thanks." He bolted.
Aurelia stashed the parchment. Strange customs. She grabbed bags, helping Axel.
He blinked, relieved. "Thanks. That's… helpful."
She pouted, stamping her foot. "I'm not helpless! Don't get ideas." She stormed toward the food court, stomach growling.
Axel smirked. She's a mess, but kinda funny. The food court's grease and noise hit them.
Aurelia's eyes lit up, betrayed by her hunger.
"Is the food here decent?" she asked, trying to sound bored. That meat smells divine.
Axel nodded. "Yup. Burgers, tacos, Asian—pick your poison." His rune went clammy, mind blanking at the menu. Why can't I choose? Stress?
The cashier snapped, "Yo, can I help you?"
Axel shook it off. "Sorry, brain fart. Number four supreme, large drink."
Aurelia leaned close to the cashier. "Your signature dish?"
He flinched. "Uh, Gut-Buster Deluxe. Want it?"
She nodded, sneering. "Yes. Thanks."
The cashier smirked, ringing them up. Axel paid, rune burning. Tattoo's acting up again.
Aurelia grabbed her empty cup, frowning. "Empty? Swindler!" She yanked the cashier's collar, eyes glowing. Shoppers froze.
Axel tugged her back, hands frosting over. "Aurelia, chill! We fill the cups ourselves!"
Her eyes dimmed, rune chilling. "Ourselves? Truly?" Shame? Why?
Axel led her to the soda fountain. "Yup, standard stuff." She copied his soda choice, scowling at the fizz.
"Scared of bubbles?" Axel teased.
She bristled. "No! It's… odd. Cold but boiling." She sipped, eyes sparkling. Sweet! Delightful! "It's… fine. Too sweet, though."
Axel snorted. "Sweet's the point. Goes with salty food." His rune chilled, anxiety spiking. Her outburst's got me jumpy.
As they sat, a thought came to him. "So, what's fun in… Netherrealm?" he asked, breaking the silence.
Aurelia set her phone down, brows up. "Me? I studied philosophy, history, debate, politics, and theology. And dressage."
"Dressage? Like, horse tricks?" Axel leaned in, curious.
She twirled her hair, blushing faintly. "Horseback skill, for show. You like music, yes? Some culture, at least."
Axel laughed. "Culture? I just like concerts." His name was called. He grabbed the tray, rune clammy.
Aurelia eyed her burger, dread in the air. This is food? She peeked under the bun.
"Scared of a sandwich?" Axel teased, biting his. Crap, too far?
"Never!" She chomped it, face melting in joy. Salad and entree in one! Genius! "It's… adequate," she said, wiping her mouth. She devoured her fries, squeaking happily. "Satisfactory. For common food." Her meal was gone in moments.
Axel laughed. "You demolished it. More than satisfactory."
She blushed, arms crossed. "I was hungry, fool!" Her forked tongue flicked grease off her lip.
Axel grinned as he finished, offering his arm. "Shall we, m'lady?" Why'd I say that?
Aurelia took it, splitting the bags. "This day's absurd. You shop like this always?"
"Depends. Usually just quick stops. You're… high-maintenance." He hesitated. "Sorry if it's frustrating. You don't normally go out?"
She shook her head, climbing into the car. "No. I had couriers to do that. I was too busy to do such things."
Axel nodded as he drove them away, growing silent. Must've been nice, having people to wait on her hand and foot.
She sensed his shift, feeling her mark getting tingly. After a moment she asked "You're quiet. Did I offend you?"
Axel gripped the steering wheel, the seal mark on his hand itching like it was plotting revenge. Stupid rune. Stupid book. Stupid day. "No, it's just been a crazy day for me, too." The sedan buzzed along the highway, bags of groceries and that overpriced silk crammed in the back. Aurelia sat shotgun, jabbing her phone screen like it insulted her lineage.
"This device is infuriating!" she snapped, voice sharp enough to cut glass. "Why does it demand my 'password' again?"
Axel glanced over, rune pulsing. "You forgot it already? It's just your name and '1234.'"
Her eyes flashed violet. "I am no fool! I entered it!" She waved the phone, nearly smacking the dashboard. "This realm's machines are conspiring against me!"
"Chill, it's not a conspiracy. Maybe it's glitching." He reached for the phone, but she yanked it back, pouting like a spoiled princess.
"I'll conquer it myself, thank you!" Her rune chilled, embarrassment mixing with her frustration. Why does this vex me so?
The car hit a pothole, jolting them. A Mogen David bottle rolled in the back, clinking against the eggs. Axel groaned. "Jeez, these potholes need to be fixed."
Aurelia crossed her arms, nose high. "If your roads were as refined as the Netherrealm's, this wouldn't happen."
"Oh, really?" Axel snorted, rune burning. "Your fantasy land had flying carriages or what?"
"Paved with enchanted stone!" she shot back. "Not these… crumbling paths!"
A semi roared past, shaking the car. Axel's grip tightened, rune flaring hotter. She's gonna blow up before we even get home. "Look, we're almost there. Can you not curse the roads for, like, five minutes?"
She huffed, fiddling with the phone again. "Fine. But this 'soda' is still bubbling in my stomach. Barbaric." Her stomach gurgled, betraying her.
Axel smirked. "Says the girl who inhaled a Gut-Buster Deluxe."
Her cheeks pinked, rune icing over. "I was merely… sampling!" Why does he fluster me?
The car pulled into their driveway, tires crunching gravel. Axel killed the engine, glancing at the tiny house—fading paint, shabby lawn. Home sweet home. If she doesn't burn it down first.
Aurelia stared out the window, eyes narrowing at the house. "I still don't believe this… hovel is where we reside."
Axel's rune blazed. Here it comes. "It's not a hovel! It's… cozy!"
She stepped out, slamming the door hard enough to rattle the windows. "Cozy? It's an insult to habitation!" Frost crept from her feet, the air shimmering with her rising temper.
Axel hauled the bags to the door, rune screaming. "Stop complaining unless you're fixing it!" He shoved the door open, muttering, "Ungrateful queen."
Aurelia waved her hand, horns and tail flickering into view, skin shimmering white. Her rune burned and numbed, guilt stinging. I went too far. He's no lord. She tapped his shoulder, firm but soft. "Husband."
What now? Axel set the bread down, wincing at his own sharp tone. "Yeah, Aurelia?"
She looked away, cheeks pink. Their runes chilled, embarrassment spiking. "I… apologize. This outing frayed my nerves."
Axel shuffled, hands in pockets. "Yeah, I get it. It's no castle, but it's home." He smirked shyly. "Truce?"
She nodded, meeting his eyes. "Truce. Now, I'll conquer this device. Go… occupy yourself." She strutted to the couch, jabbing the phone.
Axel laughed, plugging in his phone. "Cool, I got stuff to do. Holler if you need me." She's good at hollering. He headed to his rec room, computer humming.
Logging into his RPG, he typed, "Yo, guys! Got raids lined up?"
His buddies' avatars waved. "Defo, waited for u. Rdy?"
Axel grinned, queuing a bow emote. "Born ready. Let's roll."
In the living room, Aurelia flipped through apps, muttering, "Useless clutter." She tapped "contacts," spotting Axel's name. Her stomach flipped, not just from lunch. What if I…? Scared of what?
She tapped his name. A guitar riff blared from his phone. She jumped, zapping the floor with a lightning bolt, then glared at the phone. Her head bobbed to the beat. Crude, but… catchy.
The chorus hit. The room darkened, her hair billowing. Tail lashing, lightning crackling. "Human!" She snapped her fingers, yanking Axel from his chair with invisible force.
Oh crap, what now? Axel stumbled in, controller in hand, rune tingling. "Aurelia? You okay?"
She jabbed his name again, guitar screaming. "Explain this!"
He glanced at his phone, gulping. "It's a ringtone. What's wrong?"
"The chorus, dolt!" She pointed as it played: "You're such a gorgeous nightmare! Old habits never seem to go away!" Her eyes glowed, locking on him. "Why does it play for me?"
She's gonna torch the block! "It's 'Gorgeous Nightmare.' Fits our… situation."
Her eyes dimmed, hurt flickering. "A nightmare? Is that what I am?"
Axel winced. Didn't mean it like that. "You're a handful, sure. But also pretty, like I said. The song's about our rough start, y'know?"
Her frown tightened, frost crawling from her feet. "How so?"
He laughed nervously, rune burning. "Rough first impressions. Bad habits. But I didn't mean to hurt you."
She marched over, bonking his head, glaring. "Change it. Something worthy of me, not this… racket!" She stormed to the bedroom.
Axel rubbed his head, muttering, "Had that coming." He grabbed his phone, scrolling for a new ringtone. Maybe something less… flammable.