Chapter 290: Misfortune with Women UP!
Rolling steam rose from the circular iron pot, symbolizing liveliness and completion. On this slightly chilly day, the living room was baked warm, heating everyone's body and soul; everything felt pleasant and cozy.
In such an environment, people tend to relax while eating and chatting, becoming more easygoing and approachable than usual. Shirou figured the girls would likely bond over the hot pot as well.
At least, that's what he thought. Reality, however, had a habit of being contrary.
In the dining area, two Japanese-style low tables were set up. Everyone split into two groups, sitting on cushions on the floor to enjoy the meal.
Artoria and Jeanne maintained their face-to-face positions with Wu Zetian and Zhou Meimei from earlier on the sofa, simply moving the battlefield to the dining table. Although the combat power of the Servants was currently 2-to-1—meaning Wu Zetian was at a distinct disadvantage—she wasn't backing down.
For the sake of her former host, Meimei, Wu Zetian went all out. She radiated a chilling aura—the kind that suggested she'd drag an Empress down to her death just to take the position of First Consort herself.
Thunder and lightning seemed to clash above the hot pot, sparks flying everywhere. Neither side could overwhelm the other. With two attendants and the masterfully cute Meimei on her side, the scales were perfectly balanced against the blonde and silver-haired girls across from them.
Of course, the true victory or defeat depended on the reaction of a certain young man currently in the kitchen.
Komachi quietly pulled the harmless Mashiro away from this disaster zone, heading to the table where Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, and Asuna were enjoying their meal.
"Here you go, Artoria," Shirou said with a smile, handing a large bowl piled high with meat to the girl.
"...Thank you, Shirou." Artoria took the bowl, but the silence remained tense enough to make one nervous.
"And here is yours, Jeanne." Shirou handed the next bowl over.
"Oh, thanks!" Jeanne took it and replied casually; she was never one to stand on ceremony with him. In fact, she had been looking forward to this and started eating immediately.
"That's so cunning, Shirou! Serve us too!" the two attendant girls chimed in. "We are the guests here, after all."
The girls were relentless, insisting that Shirou serve them as well. "Shirou, if you please!" Wu Zetian also waved him over.
"I know, I know. Just a moment." Shirou naturally agreed to his guests' requests. Since the hot pot hit the table, he hadn't had a single moment of rest. Fortunately, thanks to his training, he managed to handle everything.
"I... I can actually do it myself," Zhou Meimei said, standing up, though her small stature made it a bit of a struggle to reach.
"Meimei, just leave it to me. It's easier from my side anyway." Shirou told the little girl not to worry; after all, she was the youngest one here.
Using a ladle, Shirou skillfully filled a bowl with various ingredients from the pot, then placed thin slices of beef into the broth, swishing them gently until they were perfectly cooked. With a perfect distribution of meat and vegetables, he handed the bowl to the girl. He then scooped a ladle of broth from the simmering pot into another bowl and placed it before her.
"Here, be careful, it's hot. Eat as much as you like," Shirou said with a gentle smile.
"Thank you! It's delicious!" Meimei smelled the overflowing fragrance. The tender beef from the shoulder blade melted the moment it touched her lips, filling her mouth with savory goodness. The carefully prepared white radish, stewed until it was as tender as oden, sent her taste buds into a state of pure bliss. She flashed a satisfied, cute smile, her twin tails swaying happily.
Finally seeing the girls at that table settle down, Shirou turned his gaze to the other side.
"I'll go check on the other table for a bit," Shirou said, walking toward Komachi's group.
"Does everyone need anything? Let me serve you," Shirou said enthusiastically.
"No need. We can manage ourselves," Yukinoshita Yukino said coldly.
Is she angry...?
Back at the door, Shirou could only explain with a smile that friends had come to visit and they were all having a lively dinner together, but he couldn't hide Artoria and Jeanne's identities from them. Realizing that many, many things seemed to have happened this month, the girls had entered the house in silence and hadn't paid him much attention since.
"Ara, Shirou-kun is finally finished being busy? Come, come, sit down and eat a bit with us." Asuna smiled and handed the boy a bowl.
"Oh, thank you, Asuna." Shirou took the bowl, moved by her kindness. As expected of Asuna—a gentle woman overflowing with "wife-power."
"Eh?" Shirou looked down at his bowl. It was filled to the brim with cabbage, enoki mushrooms, shiitake mushrooms, and tofu. They had soaked up the broth, their surfaces shimmering with oil. While vegetables are great, why wasn't there a single piece of meat?
"Ara, what's wrong, Shirou-kun? Does my selection not suit your taste?" Asuna asked with a squinting smile.
"No, I'm eating it now! Vegetables and tofu are delicious too!" Shirou answered quickly, burying his head in his food.
"Shirou-kun, do you have nothing you want to say to us?" Yukinoshita Yukino asked.
"Hehehe, bad boys don't get meat. Shirou-kun, you seemed to have completely forgotten to mention that you had so many girls staying at your house," Asuna added with a smile.
"Shirou, I think it's better if you explain clearly. Everyone was worried about you," Yuigahama chimed in.
"Mhm, I'm sorry for making you all worry. But it's just as I said before—they are Heroic Spirits who came to live in this world. Like humans, they chose to help us of their own free will. My parents also agreed to let them stay here, so let's all get along," Shirou said sincerely.
"I understand that, of course, but why do they have to live at your house?" Yukinoshita Yukino said, lowering her head as if frustrated.
"Hehe, the competition this time is getting dangerous," Asuna said with a laugh.
"I think it's because there's nothing to find fault with that makes it so frustrating," Yuigahama muttered.
The girls on this side seemed to have reached a consensus and formed a united front. Shirou finally managed to sit down for a bite, but it didn't take long for the other side to start up again.
"Shirou! Seconds!" Artoria raised her empty bowl. The previous serving of meat had been completely devoured.
"What! You're finished already?! Nom nom nom!" Jeanne looked at Artoria, stuffed the remaining food into her mouth, and raised her hand high. "Shirou! Over here!"
Suddenly, a strange sense of competition flared up among the girls, and they all accelerated their eating pace.
"Shirou~! Here too!" "Shirou-kun, if you please."
One by one, the girls vied to hand him their bowls before he could even move, each sporting a "cannot be left behind, cannot be refused" expression.
Bound by his desire to take care of his guests, Shirou went back to serve them. Swishing meat in a hot pot wasn't hard work, but the atmosphere was so bizarre and suffocating that he felt exceptionally exhausted.
Less than a minute after he satisfied them again...
"Shirou! Another bowl!" Artoria shouted, holding her bowl high.
This time, Shirou cast a look of help toward Komachi.
Komachi, who had been ignoring the chaos and eating quietly with Mashiro, gave her brother a flat, annoyed look. She grumbled in her head: 'He was out of the country for less than a month, visited only three countries, and brought back seven girls. Even if you're a chick-magnet, have some limits!'
'But... Big Brother isn't the type of person who would do this intentionally. I really can't deal with him.' Komachi sighed internally. She had to find a way to fix the atmosphere.
"Honestly, forget it. I'll help you too," Yukinoshita Yukino sighed and stood up.
"No, Yukinoshita-senpai, leave the rest to Komachi!" The little sister stood up and walked to the other table. "Thank you all for coming to visit."
"Komachi heard Big Brother say he wanted to host some friends he met abroad, but I didn't expect them to all be girls," Komachi said in an exaggerated tone.
"Well, Komachi knows Big Brother wouldn't actually do anything untoward." She shrugged and continued: "But it's not incomprehensible. It's true that Big Brother has been popular since he was little. In fact, back in kindergarten, acting as an 'Ally of Justice,' he even helped the police catch a suspicious person who was sneaking around. Though, after that, the teacher caught Big Brother and gave him a massive lecture." Komachi casually shared embarrassing stories from Shirou's childhood.
"Hahaha, that definitely sounds like Shirou," the girls laughed.
"Mhm, I feel like I've seen that happen somewhere," Asuna said, nodding.
"Eh? Asuna, you know about that?" the girls asked in surprise.
"Actually, Shirou and I were in the same kindergarten, though in different classes. Because it was so long ago, I wasn't sure at first. But hearing Komachi mention it, I remember now," Asuna said.
'For real? After the classmates, a childhood friend appears too?' Meimei thought frantically, feeling the pressure double.
"Question! Komachi-chan, what kind of girl does your brother like?" Lingyue, one of the attendants, couldn't help but raise her hand and ask.
"You can just call me Komachi." She tapped her chin in thought. "Hmm, Big Brother once said the type he likes is strong, beautiful women with their own opinions."
As Komachi listed the traits, every girl eating hot pot paused for a brief second. For some reason, they all felt like she was describing them.
"Of course, if a girl is gentle, considerate, and knows how to take care of people, I feel like Big Brother would be completely wrapped around her finger," Komachi added, still tapping her chin.
The girls went quiet, seemingly reflecting on their previous behavior.
"That's not it. I think just being together normally and understanding each other is enough. Like right now, everyone eating hot pot together—I think that's happy enough," Shirou said, looking at his friends with a sincere smile.
For some reason, sparks flew in the girls' eyes.
"Shirou! You eat some meat too! Don't go over there!" Jeanne pulled the boy back, holding up a piece of cooked beef with her chopsticks.
"Ah... thanks, Jeanne, you don't have to do that. I'll eat by myself," the boy said.
"Shirou~! Come, say 'Aaaah'~!" Seeing this, Wu Zetian stood up with her bowl and walked over, offering him food.
"Shirou, eat some of this too." Meimei also held food up to his mouth.
"Shirou, for you. A meatball." Even Artoria, who never yielded when it came to food, stepped forward.
"Wait, I can't fit it all, mghm..." "Here, Shirou-kun."
Meatballs, fish cakes, beef, and vegetables were all forcibly stuffed into the boy's mouth.
"Gulp..." Shirou beat his chest, trying to force the food down his throat.
"Here." Fortunately, Komachi couldn't watch any longer and handed him some juice.
After a few large gulps, he finally swallowed the food and let out a huge sigh of relief.
"Thank you, Komachi. You really saved me." Shirou, having returned from the brink of choking, spoke with gratitude.
"Big Brother, this is your own fault," Komachi said crossly, crossing her arms.
"Alright, alright. Shirou, what do you think of my previous proposal?" Wu Zetian stopped the girls around her and looked at the boy.
"That won't do, Emperor of Wu Zhou. Withdraw your impolite request. Shirou is my knight!" Artoria said coldly. She had actually been tolerating the other girl for quite a while.
"Ne-haha! Shirou is clearly interested in my Divine Capital. Don't be so tactless," Wu Zetian said, shaking her head with an unbothered smile.
In her past life, Wu Zetian renamed Luoyang, one of the four capitals of the Tang Dynasty, to the "Divine Capital." She established the new Wu Zhou Dynasty and built the main hall in Luoyang, naming it the "Palace of Ten Thousand Images."
The Emperor of Wu Zhou opened the doors to suggestions and the Imperial Examinations to select talent. She created the military exam system. From then on, Luoyang became the holy land that scholars and warriors across the world yearned for. Beyond seekers of knowledge,
vassal states sent their strongest to offer tribute, confirm their legitimacy, and receive the protection of the Celestial Empire.
At that time, Goguryeo in the north had been completely destroyed, leaving no worries in the Liaodong region. Aside from unavoidable border frictions, everything was peaceful and stable. Luoyang, like Chang'an, became a highly developed commercial trade center. There were Western Region merchants bringing cattle and horses across the Great Snow Mountains; fair-skinned, blue-eyed merchants traveling the Silk Road to buy silk, ceramics, and tea. From Southeast Asia came slave traders with "Kunlun slaves" and "Silla maids" for officials, and sea merchants from Indian kingdoms bringing ivory, agate, and spices by water—a prosperous era of ten thousand nations paying tribute.
If Shirou said he wasn't interested, he would be lying. Before the An Lushan Rebellion, this empire was peerless. It retained world-class forging techniques: from the peak of bronze in the Qin Dynasty, the iron weapons of the Han that "one Han could match five barbarians," the repeating crossbows of Zhuge Liang in the Three Kingdoms, to the heavy cavalry, straight sabers (hengdao), and double-edged long sabers (modao) of the Tang.
The long-term external conquests weren't just a single front; they were all-encompassing. They destroyed the Turks in the Northwest and Goguryeo in the Northeast. Competing with the Khitan, Tibetans, Kucha, and the Umayyad Caliphate wasn't just a war of attrition—it was a significant advantage in weaponry. According to surviving records, cavalry generals primarily used the Ma Shuo, a long weapon with a blade over fifty centimeters long—an upgrade to the eighteen-foot spear. There were thirteen types of armor, including Bright Light Armor, Fish-scale Armor, and Chainmail, ten types of shields, and everyone carried a bow or crossbow.
The weapons developed during this period were highly advanced, including the prototypes of the katana. While one shouldn't boast that Tang blades could crush modern high-carbon steel, it showed that the potential was no less than that of the katana. In fact, the ancient blade-forging techniques of "Wa" (Japan) were mostly lost; what is used now is the technique from the Edo period when firearms were already prevalent.
"If Shirou is interested in weapons, I also have a fine collection in my armory," Artoria said coldly.
"But your castle no longer exists, does it?" Wu Zetian said with a mischievous grin. This girl was purely stirring up trouble.
Shirou looked at his familiar companion and said warmly, "Artoria, don't be angry. While I am interested in ancient forging techniques, I have no intention of leaving you behind to go abroad alone."
"Shirou... Hmph. As long as you understand." Artoria gazed at the boy, then turned her head away, a faint curve appearing at the corner of her mouth beneath her cold, proud face.
"Well, I would honestly welcome it if Shirou brought his whole family to China. I'd give you the best treatment, food and clothing for life, and sponsor you to do whatever you want. Think about it carefully." Wu Zetian laughed, then looked at the boy seriously, stressing every word.
"Thank you. I will consider it carefully." Shirou nodded. He understood how deep the heritage of a great nation that had persisted for thousands of years was.
The world is huge. Over the past millennia, many countries had achieved temporary glory. Even in central Africa, there were ancient Black kingdoms that matched other empires of their time. Ancient India invented the concept of 'zero' and Arabic numerals, proposed the cycle of reincarnation, and contributed much to human history. The Maurya Empire unified India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh, expanding to over 4 million square kilometers before the common era. But after Ashoka the Great, it weakened quickly. After the fall of the Maurya, the Indian peninsula was never unified again, constantly changing rulers in a cycle of the caste system.
Ancient Babylon was destroyed by Persia. The ancient Egyptians are long gone; modern Egyptians are the result of many masters—Alexander the Great's Macedonians, then Cleopatra marrying Caesar and Antony. But Antony was defeated by Augustus, and Egypt was gradually ruled by Christianity, ending the era of 'Pharaohs' before the rise of Islam. Modern Egypt is 85% Muslim Arabs and 10% Coptic Christians who claim direct descent from ancient Egyptians, though they speak Arabic. It really makes one wonder if children there learn about Pharaohs through Yu-Gi-Oh!.
Ancient Greece, though just a collection of city-states, was a marvel of Western civilization, establishing democracy over 400 years BC, only to vote to execute Socrates. They defeated the Persian Empire, but remained a small city-state. Yet their philosophy and heroism endured until the Renaissance. Socrates, born less than a hundred years after Confucius, is revered as the Western Sage. Their myths were different—Zeus was a womanizer, Hera was jealous, Athena stirred trouble in war. Heracles fought Ares while still human. Their gods were just humans with longer lives and more power. Because they lacked a certain reverence, Greek philosophers, like the Chinese (often misinterpreted as having no faith), explored the mysteries of heaven and earth, proposing the four elements: earth, air, water, and fire—very similar to the Chinese Yin-Yang and Five Elements theory.
Greece was eventually conquered by Alexander, and their civilization spread worldwide. Rome inherited this spirit but eventually hit a bottleneck and returned to being an empire. Caesar was assassinated, and his adopted son Augustus defeated Antony to become the first Emperor. 'Caesar' became the title for the legitimate Roman Emperor, a title only a few like Napoleon achieved later. After Rome fell, Europe saw no unification on that scale for two millennia; the only thing that endured was Roman Law.
Only Chinese civilization, despite losing much in countless disasters, stubbornly survived. Thus, Wu Zetian wasn't lying. The Divine Capital of Luoyang she built still exists today. Its core, the Mingtang (Hall of Enlightenment), was 88.88 meters high with a square base—a masterpiece of Tang architecture. If Wu Zetian were in China, she would receive an
extraordinary regional bonus. Ancient wise monarchs hold a status in the Chinese heart no lower than gods. As the sole Empress, if she were in Luoyang, she could activate her original Palace Noble Phantasm via Imperial Privilege.
While modern Britain has been reduced to its original form—having Commonwealth nations in name but no real power—Artoria, as the legendary King recognized by the British Empire that once occupied 33 million square kilometers, has fame in the West that matches Wu Zetian's in the East.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang again. Shirou stood up like a reflex.
"Could it be another girl?" Komachi said in shock.
"Ahahaha... I'll go check." Shirou walked out with a dry laugh.
The door opened, and BB-chan made a grand entrance. She asked with a giggle, "Yes, yes! Here is the mysterious transfer student from America, Senpai's cutest kouhai, BB-chan! Well? How is that for a setting?"
"Why did you ring the doorbell?" Shirou asked, looking at the girl.
"Eh? Because Senpai wanted BB-chan to follow the rules of the humans here, right? Is something wrong?" The purple-haired girl tilted her head.
"No, it's nothing. Just come in." Shirou covered his face in resignation. He felt another misunderstanding was about to happen.
It was night now, and the sky had dimmed. What he didn't know was that Hikigaya's parents had just finished work early today and were currently walking toward the house.
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