Chapter 189: Kabedon
Because Aqua and Kazuma were competing to see who could make the better clothes, the next few days were relatively quiet.
...If only that were really the case.
He had originally wanted to take this opportunity to enjoy some hard-earned leisure, but Megumin had been pestering him, insisting on a ridiculous chess match, and absolutely had to decide a winner before she would stop.
It was probably because the clothes that had increased her jealousy had made her look foolish, and she was still upset about it.
It was precisely because of this, and with a trace of guilt in his heart, that he had indulged her willfulness.
But he had overlooked the loli's level of shamelessness.
"Take this, Kobayashi! A Rook attack with a radius of eight and a half squares!" She picked up her own Rook, which had already been captured and was outside the chessboard, and then went straight over the protection of two pawns and two knights, directly knocking over his King.
Seeing this, he covered his face with his hands, already at a loss for words.
Why can a Rook move diagonally? Why can a Rook jump over other pieces? Why can a captured Rook fly in from outside the board?
There were too many things to complain about.
Most importantly, this had already become her standard way of cheating. She did this every time she was about to lose, and it had already been no less than ten times.
That's right. This loli was hopelessly weak, but she was also stubborn and kept pestering him to play chess. She was the "bad but loves to play" type.
At first, bullying her felt pretty good. The expression on her face when she wanted to beat him but couldn't was truly enjoyable. But gradually, it became boring. And playing chess with someone so bad at it would only make his own skills worse.
But she kept pestering him. If he didn't play, he would definitely have no peace. Since that was the case, he'd just throw the game and let her win. All she wanted was to win, anyway. This way, she would be satisfied and leave, right?
Seeing him silent, she asked curiously, "What's wrong, Kobayashi?"
"It's nothing. I was just spacing out a little," he said, trying hard not to let her see that anything was wrong.
"Well, good. Come on, it's your turn!"
Her urging made him turn his gaze back to the board. After pondering for a moment, he suddenly threw his hands up in the air and, with some exaggeration, surrendered. "I give up! That was truly an exquisite move! You've won, Megumin! I've been completely defeated! I humbly admit defeat!"
"...Eh? What do you mean?"
Seeing him being so over-the-top, she was, on the contrary, a little confused.
Did I overdo it?
He cleared his throat and explained, "Ahem, in other words, you've won this game. I can't find a way to counter."
"Really? I won?"
"Mmm, you won."
"That's great!"
She threw the piece in her hand and cheered joyfully.
Phew—
He sighed. Seeing her so happy, this should be fine, right?
Just as he thought it was over, she suddenly said, "Well then! Let's move on to the punishment game!"
"...What?" he was slightly stunned.
The loli's eyes were shining, and she grinned, smiling wickedly. "The punishment! The punishment! If you lose a game, there has to be a punishment. Isn't that just common sense?"
Don't tell me this was her goal all along? To make me accept a punishment, which is why she kept demanding a decisive match.
"Wait, wait!" He held up his palm. "We never said there was a punishment game! And you've lost more than ten times before. That should be enough to cancel out any punishment, right?"
"That was that, this is this! Besides, you're the one who didn't suggest a punishment, so it has nothing to do with me."
This little loli...!
Looking at her "I've got you right where I want you" expression, he was slightly annoyed. But on second thought, she was probably pestering him because his previous teasing had made her feel frustrated. In that case, what was the harm in letting her get back at him a little? After all, if he didn't agree, she would surely get angry and cast an Explosion on him.
With this in mind, he nodded with a headache. "Alright, just say what the punishment is. I'll take it."
"Hehehe! Come on, it's happy punishment time, Kobayashi!" Her smile grew even wider.
"I'm not Darkness! I don't have that kind of interest in finding pleasure in punishment!"
Her ill-intentioned expression gave him a slight sense of crisis. For some reason, his heart began to beat rapidly.
This loli... she does know her limits, right? She does, right?
"What are you talking about, Kobayashi? Aren't you saying that, while secretly looking forward to it?" she said, covering her own chest and deliberately teasing him.
"Of course not!" he retorted loudly. "I think you're the one who's looking forward to it, with that smile that's splitting your face from ear to ear."
She, on the contrary, comforted him. "Oh my, oh my, don't say that! If you have to do it anyway, isn't it a better deal to just enjoy it?"
"I don't think so at all."
"Honestly, you're so stubborn, Kobayashi."
And whose fault do you think that is!
That expression... it's hard not to be nervous!
He sighed, with a hint of resignation. "So, what is this punishment for me 'losing' because of your despicable off-the-board tactics?"
"What a rude way to put it! As for the punishment... it's... a kabedon!"
"I refuse!"
"How decisive."
She frowned slightly, as if she were unhappy with his reaction.
He was too. He had wondered what she would say, but he hadn't expected a kabedon! A loli giving him a kabedon... isn't that weird? It's too embarrassing!
And as for him giving her a kabedon, that was even more impossible.
Do you want a pair of ice-cold silver handcuffs?
She was dumbfounded. She said in a strange tone, "How could you? Are you so disgusted that you're making an expression like you've just stepped in something?"
It seemed the loli thought she had been too offensive.
This was a good sign.
She puffed out her small, flat chest. "I... I wouldn't make you do something you really hate, Kobayashi. Please don't underestimate me. I'm not that kind of person!"
What a kind and understanding child. I'm so moved I could almost cry.
"Megumin..."
"But, you'll still do the kabedon, please!"
"What you're saying and what you just said are completely different!"
So in the end, I still have to do it? And I'm the one who has to do it? But those heavy, silver handcuffs... I really don't want them!
Her eyes curved and her mouth turned up. She said in an extremely cheerful tone, "But from your reaction, it just seems like you're embarrassed."
"It's because it's embarrassing that I hate it!" he said, his cheeks flushing, as he became uncharacteristically fidgety.
Unexpectedly, this made her even more excited. She said, with anticipation in her eyes, "I don't understand. I just want to see you embarrassed."
"You're becoming more and more like Aqua," he complained.
Is Aqua a contagious disease? No matter who it is, they'll be remolded in her shape.
"But I don't get it," she said, also puzzled. "What's so embarrassing about hitting a wall? Don't tell me you're a pervert who enjoys getting pleasure from being against a wall?! That's disgusting! It's actually scaring me a little!"
"I'll say it again! I'm not that perverted knight, Darkness!" he protested loudly.
But from her appearance and tone, it seemed she really didn't know what "kabedon" meant.
I should probably test her a little.
He asked, "Megumin, don't tell me you don't know what a kabedon is?"
"Doesn't it mean to 'don' (hit) a 'kabe' (wall)?" she asked in return.
He said angrily, "Not at all! By the way, where did you learn that from! Did Darkness teach you? Did that perverted knight teach you?!"
"Aqua gave me the suggestion. She said that if it was you, Kobayashi, a kabedon would be a good punishment." The loli, on the contrary, said another person's name.
That idiot goddess...! As I thought! She was tricked by that idiot goddess!
"Well then, what is a real kabedon? You were so embarrassed, I'm getting more and more interested. Please, you must use it on me! This is a punishment, you know. A punishment! You don't have the right to refuse, understand!"
Her happy and delighted expression made him wonder if she actually knew the true meaning of a kabedon, and was now just pretending not to know, to tease him.
"Alright! I get it!"
He swung his arms and rolled his shoulders, and said seriously, "Since you've gone this far, I'll do it! A real kabedon!"
"Oh! That's the spirit! Come on! Reveal the kabedon before me!" she said, about to move away from the wall to give him enough space.
But after a muffled "don!" sound, she was stopped by an arm.
The loli was so scared she unconsciously clasped her hands in front of her chest, her face flushed and her expression delicate, and said shyly, "Wh-what are you doing all of a sudden? You scared me!"
"I'm just doing what you said. I'm surprised you're complaining," he said. He could see that she was very nervous and shy. She was even trembling slightly.
It seemed she really didn't know what it meant.
She pursed her lips, not daring to look at him, and said in a low voice, "Th-this is a kabedon?"
"That's right. In this situation, you look at the other person and whisper words of love. This is a kabedon," he replied.
"I-I see. It's certainly... impactful."
"Of course it is!"
He was a little embarrassed. To do this to a loli... in a certain sense, this could already be a capital offense. But to end it here would leave regrets. Should one say his heart was at work? He actually wanted to tease her a little at a time like this.
In that case, I'll slowly lean my face in...
"W-wait! What are you doing!" The loli was even more nervous. Her voice trembled as she questioned him, but it also seemed to carry a certain anticipation.
He didn't stop, but continued to press closer, and at the same time, lowered his voice. "What am I doing? Of course I'm going to finish the kabedon, to show you what a complete one is like."
"Too close, too close! Your face is too close!"
Her face was bright red, and she unconsciously pushed against his chest with both hands. It looked as if she wanted to push him away, but her hands had no strength at all. He couldn't tell if she was really shy, or just being tsundere.
He deliberately teased her. "What are you so shy about? Aren't you the one who wanted this?"
"I-it's weird! I feel like... you're not you, Kobayashi!" Her crimson eyes glistened with a watery sheen.
"It really isn't like me. But this is how you do a kabedon."
"Ngh..."
She pouted, as if she were a little angry.
Come to think of it, he had never done this to anyone before.
He had been on the receiving end of a kabedon from the domineering CEO-type, Esdeath, but he had never done it to anyone else. And he never thought that the first person he would do it to would be a loli.
Since he had no experience, and it was her first time, he would just have to add the next step to give her a complete experience.
"Looking at you like this, you're really cute," he said, his eyes full of affection, his voice full of love.
That's right. He was whispering sweet nothings.
The impactful action of a kabedon is just to shake a woman's heart. The sweet nothings that follow are the sharp sword that enters the heart.
She lowered her eyebrows and pouted. "What are you talking about at a time like this? Doesn't everyone already know that I'm cute?"
"Ah, that's right. Why is it that until now, I've never noticed something so obvious?" he said, going along with her words, upgrading her cuteness.
"K-Kobayashi? Wh-what's wrong? You're being weird."
"The one who's making me weird is you. Your cuteness is driving me crazy. How are you going to take responsibility for that?"
...Wait, isn't this a little too greasy?
This was his first time doing this to a woman. Not knowing what to do, he had chosen to imitate what Esdeath had done to him. But even though it was the same domineering CEO style, he felt that he, on the contrary, was too greasy.
It must be because his personality and the lines didn't match, which was why it seemed so jarring.
Just as he was about to start over.
The loli, on the contrary, blushed and turned her head, not daring to look him in the eye, and said in a sweet, sticky voice, "Wh-what do you want from me?"
Hmm? Barely passing?
Oh right. This is her first time too.
His heart now at ease, he continued to act. "Right. Then take responsibility and stay by my side for the rest of your life."
"S-since you're asking, Kobayashi, I-I guess it wouldn't be... impossible... oh?"
With that, she peeked at his reaction from the corner of her eye.
How should one put it? So cute!
He unconsciously reached out his hand to her cheek, and as he pinched it, he was slightly stunned. "Hey, Megumin... don't tell me... you've gained weight?"
"H-how rude! I have not gained weight!" she said, shaking her head, trying to escape his magic claws.
But he didn't let go. In fact, he used both hands to knead her pretty face, pulling it to the sides.
"Look at these cheeks. What are these?"
"W-wait! Stop pulling my face like that!"
She reprimanded him, her words slurred, which made her cuteness level go up another notch.
"So soft~ Take this, take this."
"I haven't gained weight! I haven't gained weight!"
"Ah, so soft!"
"What did you say? Just a mere Kobayashi, to be so arrogant!"
She seemed to have said a line from a certain senior. Unfortunately, with her petite figure, she had none of that mature charm.
Then, she seemed to have understood something.
"Don't tell me... this is the power of a kabedon? It turns a man into a carnivorous man?! H-how should I put this... this isn't so bad, once in a while..."
"Megu-Megumin?"
"Hehe, hehehe, hehehehe..."
Megumin, who was enjoying it, revealed a Darkness-style smile. It's over! She seems to have awakened some kind of strange, incredible hobby!
(End of Chapter)