Chapter 26: Kobayashi is Just Kobayashi
In the main hall of the Guild, Satou Kazuma pinched his chin and said, "Speaking of which, I still don't know Kobayashi-senpai's full name."
His words drew everyone's attention.
"Why bring that up all of a sudden? Is there a problem?"
Darkness seemed a little concerned after hearing this. She asked with great curiosity, "What's wrong with Kobayashi's name? Has he been hiding his real name?"
"Hmm... how should I put it? I just feel that after spending so much time together, it's not quite right that we still don't know his full name."
Kazuma didn't notice her strange reaction and instead voiced his own concern. To get along with someone, you should at least know their name. It was the bare minimum of courtesy, or so he believed.
"A name? Does it really matter?"
Megumin, however, had an indifferent attitude. After all, her own name was considered very strange by others, and even if she didn't mind, she was often laughed at for it.
"But that's not the point!"
Feeling that he couldn't communicate with them, Kazuma turned to the party's Archpriest. "Hey, Aqua, you should know what Kobayashi-senpai's name is, right?"
"Mmm? Whrrh arff ooo sffying?"
Aqua's mouth was stuffed with food, making her look like a dopey hamster, not at all like a goddess.
Kazuma looked slightly disgusted, but he repeated himself. "His name, his name! I'm asking you what Kobayashi-senpai's name is!"
"I don't know."
"HUH?!"
The reply was so blunt that Kazuma had a hard time accepting it. "Aren't you, you know, that? Why wouldn't you know?"
"What do you mean, 'that'! If I don't know, I don't know! What do you want me to do about it!"
"You... you really are..."
Aqua was a goddess. Before Kazuma brought her down to the mortal world, she was the one who handled reincarnations for the deceased. It was impossible for her not to know Kobayashi's name...
No, wait... I remember when we first met him. Faced with an angry Kobayashi-senpai, Aqua acted as if she didn't know him at all... Had she already forgotten by then?!
"You're a hopeless idiot."
Kazuma's disdain grew even stronger.
This, in turn, annoyed Aqua, and she retorted loudly, "How am I supposed to remember everyone?! Do you know how many people I have to deal with in a day? It would be exhausting to remember each and every one of them!"
(In truth, Aqua's job was very hard. Who was to blame for Japan's stubbornly high death rate?)
Realizing this, Kazuma showed a hint of apology towards her.
But since Aqua didn't know, he decided to ask the other adventurers. First, he went to Dust. He had taught Kobayashi-senpai before; they had a good relationship, so he should know.
...
"You're asking for Kobayashi's name? I don't know."
"Eh?"
"Hey, Kobayashi is just Kobayashi. His name, whatever... hic!"
Useless. He's no help either.
Kazuma looked at the drunken Dust and knew his mind was foggy. He probably couldn't remember his name, or, on the off chance, he really didn't know.
I'll go ask someone else.
He turned to find other adventurers to ask.
"Kobayashi? Don't know."
"Well, he's always been a lone wolf. He rarely talks to people."
"Kobayashi is just Kobayashi. His name doesn't matter, right?"
The adventurers' replies were all more or less the same; none of them knew Kobayashi's name. This made Kazuma wonder whether Kobayashi's relationship with the guild adventurers was good or bad. On the one hand, everyone knew him and said he was a good person; on the other hand, not a single person in the guild knew his full name.
"Why don't you ask at the front desk?" a kind adventurer suggested, seeing Kazuma's fruitless search. "Guild adventurers have to leave their names on record to accept quests. You should be able to ask there."
"Oh, right! I completely forgot about that."
Kazuma clapped his hands. The guild kept personal information on all adventurers for organization and quest distribution. According to the rules, others couldn't inquire, but it should be fine for a member of the same party.
He walked to the front desk.
"How may I help you?"
"Miss Luna, I'd like to check the adventurer quest records for my party member, Kobayashi."
"Kobayashi's adventure records? Of course, please wait a moment."
Just as he thought, there were no restrictions between party members. He was about to find out Kobayashi-senpai's name! A sense of accomplishment, like solving a great mystery, washed over him.
Thump—
A thick stack of quest forms was placed on the counter. It almost reached his chest!
"Here are all of Kobayashi's adventure records."
"There are this many?"
"Yes! Thanks to Kobayashi, the town hasn't been troubled by monsters during this period. I must say, he's the hardest-working adventurer I've ever seen in Axel!" Luna's evaluation of him was very high.
"Oh, is that so."
Kazuma was in no mood to comment on Kobayashi's work ethic right now. He just wanted to know his name!
He hurriedly started flipping through them.
Kobayashi, Kobayashi, Kobayashi, Kobayashi, Kobayashi...
——————!
All the quest forms just said "Kobayashi." There was no full name at all!
How can this be!
Kazuma clutched his head and yelled, "Why can't I find it?! Does Kobayashi-senpai not have a full name?!!!"
"Why would I not have a full name?" Kobayashi's voice came from beside him.
"Kobayashi-senpai?"
"What, are you very curious about my name?"
"Yes! Please tell me your name, Kobayashi-senpai!"
"To be so interested in a man's name... if I didn't know you were into mature older women like me, I'd definitely keep my distance... Alright, fine, I'll tell you."
"Mhm!"
Kazuma's eyes lit up. This was the first time he had ever been this excited for a secret to be revealed.
"My name is Kobayashi..."
SCREEEEEEECH—
A sharp, scraping sound suddenly echoed through the slightly noisy guild, startling everyone and drowning out Kobayashi's voice, causing Kazuma to miss what he said completely.
He angrily turned his head to find the source. It turned out to be Darkness, arm-wrestling with someone. She was using so much force that the table beneath them was moving, creating the sharp noise, and a crowd of onlookers had gathered around.
"Darkness, be more considerate!"
Unfortunately, the knight, surrounded by the crowd, couldn't hear him.
Kazuma shook his head helplessly and looked back at Kobayashi. "I'm sorry, Darkness was too loud just now, I didn't hear you. Could you please say it again, senpai?"
"Of course. My name is Kobayashi..."
SPLASH—
A stream of water descended from the sky, drenching Kazuma like a drowned rat, and naturally, he missed Kobayashi's answer again.
There was only one person in the guild who would play with water so wantonly.
"A-QU-A!!!"
Kazuma was furious. Seeing the idiot goddess in the middle of the hall, spraying water and using her party tricks, he was so angry he wanted to go over and slap her. But he held it in. The most important thing right now was Kobayashi-senpai's name. The rest could wait.
"Kobayashi-senpai..."
"Alright, alright, I'll say it. Stop looking at me with those pitiful eyes. To be honest, it's a little gross."
Although he was called gross, he endured it.
"Listen closely. My name is Kobayashi..."
"HUH?! I told you not to call me a chuunibyou mage from the Crimson Demon Clan with a screw loose! Call me Fledgling Phoenix! Fledgling Phoenix! Are you looking for a fight?! Fine, I accept! My family motto is to always respond to a provocation! Since you say I have a screw loose, then I'll act like I have a screw loose for once!"
For some reason, Megumin suddenly flew into a rage, attracting Kazuma's attention.
He saw her raise her staff, preparing to cast a spell, causing the adventurers in the guild to scatter and flee.
"W-wait... Megumin?!"
"—Explo... GAK?!"
At the last moment, Kobayashi quickly ran over and used [Drain Touch] to absorb all of Megumin's mana.
Although the guild wasn't blown to smithereens, the commotion had already thrown the entire place into chaos. After Kobayashi, Megumin, and the others repeatedly apologized and paid a hefty compensation, the unpleasant incident was finally settled.
Night.
A tired Kobayashi and Kazuma went to the public bathhouse to wash up.
"That idiot loli, she's so annoying! When we get back, Kobayashi-senpai, you have to give her a good lecture!"
"Don't be so harsh. She was provoked, after all."
"But that's no reason to use Explosion magic indiscriminately!"
"Alright, alright, the best outcome is that no one got hurt. Okay, I'm going in first. You should hurry up too."
"I'll be right there."
Kobayashi went in first, and Kazuma quickened his pace to change. Although Megumin had only caused trouble because she was provoked, he couldn't help but be angry. It was all her fault that he didn't get to hear Kobayashi-senpai's name.
He neatly folded his clothes and placed them in the locker next to Kobayashi's.
Suddenly, a card caught his eye.
—An adventurer card?!
That's right! The adventurer card will definitely show his full name!
Isn't that common sense? How did I forget?
But... is it okay to go through someone else's private belongings?
No, no, no, it's just looking at a name. It should be fine!... right?
But I'm so curious, what should I do?
Kazuma was caught in an intense internal struggle, completely conflicted.
In the end, he couldn't resist his own curiosity.
Mmm, Kobayashi-senpai isn't a petty person. If I just tell him about it later, it should be fine.
With a guilty conscience, he looked left and right, as if checking if anyone was coming. Then, he reached his hand towards Kobayashi's basket.
...
"Kazuma! Are you not done yet?!"
"————!!!"
Kazuma jumped in fright. The sudden call made his heart stop. He forcefully held down the heart that was about to jump out of his throat and covered his mouth that had almost let out a scream.
After a second, he lowered his voice and replied with feigned calmness.
"I'm just organizing my clothes!"
"Okay, well hurry up!"
"I'll be right there!"
After shouting his reply, Kazuma calmed his racing heart and reached for the basket again.
Almost there! Almost there! Just a little more! Finally... I can finally find out Kobayashi-senpai's name!
An excited heart, a trembling hand.
Steal—
A flash of light, and a card was held between Kazuma's index and middle fingers.
He could guarantee that he had never been this careful, not even when he was secretly rewarding himself at night back at the inn!
But it was all worth it!
Like a thief's satisfaction after a long and difficult heist to steal a beloved treasure, like a detective reaching the truth after solving numerous mysteries.
Satisfaction!
That was the only word to describe it!
He finally... finally...
As he flipped over Kobayashi's adventurer card, which had been facing away from him, and held it in mid-air, the wild, triumphant smile on Kazuma's face froze when he saw the name column.
After a long moment.
He slammed the card hard onto the bathroom floor and couldn't help but roar in anger—
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!"
"WHY IS THERE A MOSAIC?!!!"
(End of Chapter)