Oh man, I can get it's a game NPC. Normally, they'd at least dress as a cleaning lady. Right, this is a dating game.
"Dear guest, hello. I'm Little Beauty here to clean. I'm happy to serve you..." The girl showed a bright smile she'd practiced for a long time. Saiki Kusuo calmly stepped aside.
The girl's face twisted a bit: [Damn it, that smile I practiced in front of the mirror for so long! I got up at 3 a.m. and carefully started putting on natural makeup with my wriggling tentacles. Do you know how long it took? A full two hours! At 5, I rushed over to clean the whole hotel. Even when throwing out trash, I didn't forget to stand in front of the spotless trash bin and practice smiling at it. I've worked so hard, and he won't even look at me! How can this be? How could any girl not like looking at a beauty!]
The psychic can't see it, and I don't want that smile practiced in front of a trash bin.
Saiki Kusuo wasn't interested at all.
It's enough if the cleaning girl does a good job on the room.
The girl pushed into the room, and Saiki Kusuo passed her and her cleaning cart, planning to go downstairs for breakfast.
Cleaning cart, as the name suggests, is a tool cart for helping with cleaning. Besides cleaning tools, it has two large trash bins, one for wet trash, one for dry trash... whatever. Why do I feel oddly concerned about this cleaning cart?
Don't look at the trash bin. Looking at it will remind me of bad things. Absolutely don't look inside the trash bin.
Saiki Kusuo looked down, and a small black thing slithered out from under the cart in an S-shaped path, bumping into her.
Boom! (Some explosion sound)
Saiki Kusuo instantly backed to the wall corner of the room.
"Huh, miss, what's wrong..." [Playing hard to get, she's using that on me! As expected, people joining dating games have a trick or two. Oh!!]
Oh my ass! Get rid of the cockroach quick! Aren't you the professional cleaner?
The girl thought: [She seems really nervous. Could it be? Unbelievable. Is this person a shy, pure high school girl? Stuck in school her whole life, isolated in that environment. Even at home, it's just back and forth. She's lived a lonely life focused only on studying until after high school graduation, when her family suddenly asked about boyfriends. That's when she realized there's another gender in the world. Her distance from male classmates is already deep in her bones. Before high school, for studying, dating was early love, and even touching the opposite sex would get shocked gasps from classmates! Perfect! This kind of girl is totally a target to conquer. Though I really want to touch a man's abs, this little lady is willing!]
What kind of imagination. This dark continent creature, why is she so familiar with stuff from the continent?
The girl thought: [Heh heh, browsing the web every day isn't for nothing. Facing this kind of shy girl, just be bold, bolder, boldest! Since she's a girl, no need to be on guard at all... heh heh heh, human flesh heh heh...]
It must be the internet. This creature looks like she wants to eat me. Hey, is no one in charge?
No one is.
The cleaning girl got closer and closer to Saiki Kusuo, her hand quietly touching Saiki Kusuo's back.
The girl suddenly froze. [...Such a hard back, like touching a toad turtle corpse three days dead.]
Don't casually compare someone's back to a corpse.
The girl, not believing it, pinched Saiki Kusuo's cheek and found it very soft.
[What a weird person!]
Don't be weird, deal with the cockroach!! Where did it go now? It's completely gone, right? I can't take it, I'm teleporting.
"Creak."
Saiki Kusuo froze in place.
"Hey, your noise is bothering us, be quiet... Oh, this room is yours?"
Nobunaga, right on time and not. Good because he could save the day, bad because he squashed the cockroach corpse with one foot.
Nobunaga lifted his foot to come in.
[Get out!!]
"Huh? Who do you think you're talking to..."
Nobunaga finally saw the room. The girl buried in Saiki Kusuo's body, the messy bed (the cleaning girl pulled it open casually when she came in to change sheets). [Though it's a bit niche, have to say this person is a qualified rival. Bisexual and still chasing victory? As expected, strong competitive spirit like the boss said. Saying rest is just a lie. Heh, looks like the boss has a rival.]
Surprisingly, Nobunaga didn't stop anything. Instead, he gave a thumbs up: [Not bad, the Troupe accepts your challenge.]
Then he left the room and closed the door behind him. Saiki Kusuo's face went dark.
On her waist, the girl rubbed against Saiki Kusuo's clothes, smudging a lot of her makeup on his face.
[Hey, dark creature.]
Saiki Kusuo radiated low pressure around him.
And the so-called girl was instantly scared back to her original form.
Meanwhile, Nobunaga found Chrollo.
Chrollo's room was upstairs, where he'd spent the night in the presidential suite with a young lady.
"Boss... what's going on with you guys, boss!!"
"Just now the toilet pipe burst suddenly. Whew, bad start. But showing strong handling in a crisis can boost favor a bit. She has some emotions now, need to pull back a little. Found the next target?"
"Boss, you smell bad."
"It's unavoidable. I'll go wash in your room. Where are Machi and that one?"
"By the way, boss, about that one..."
...
Some dark creatures share info among themselves. They have their own little groups. Among smart ones who can act as NPCs, the lower-level dark creatures rely more on that site, easier to sway with public opinion.
Their info spread isn't like human internet with just text and images, it's more explosive—feelings!
The girl dramatically posted that threatened, oppressed feeling on the spider web.
Dark creatures have been trained for years. To be good NPCs, they suffer daily the pain of not being human but pretending to be.
They bend their backs, always submitting to Saiki Kusuo's clones.
But lately, Saiki Kusuo's clones suddenly haven't shown up. No one's suppressing them, controlling them, enforcing the old rules.
Now Saiki Kusuo showed strength, and they couldn't hold back.
Couldn't hold back liking this strong one!
They were things crawling on the ground anyway! Lord Kusuo taught them to walk upright! They felt the wonder of human emotions! They crave human love endlessly! They want to catch humans! Kiss to death, touch to death, swallow into the belly—ah, Kikyo, per Lord Kusuo's rules, can't hurt or eat people, it's a death rule, even if willing!
So annoying! Making them suffer daily pretending to be human but can't eat humans!
This unrequited love makes the beast crave more, right?
Saiki Kusuo opened the elevator.
"Welcome, lord! Can I ask you to mate with me..."
The elevator was empty, Saiki Kusuo smashed the dark creature's head into the wall.
Then restored the elevator and creature to a day ago.
What the hell, this bunch.
Rather see Hisoka than dark creatures when the elevator doors open.
"Ding!"
The doors opened, only one person waiting to get on.
Half a month no see, that person let his hair down, less makeup on his face, his overall sleazy vibe faded a lot. But his phoenix eyes and gold pupils still had a sharp edge.
His gaze swept over Saiki Kusuo, and he chuckled twice.
Saiki Kusuo: ...Can you close the door?
Dark creature: Ah, it's Hisoka, number three on the spider web rankings!!
Of course you know this guy.
Hisoka quickly judged: [Mm~ Probably a broke NPC.]
NPC is one thing, why add broke to it.
Hisoka entered the elevator, back to Saiki Kusuo.
Only now could see his current clothes. Saiki Kusuo took back what he said about the sleazy vibe fading.
On the back of Hisoka's clothes was a huge heart, with a wobbly arrow below pointing to his own butt.
What kind of person would go out in clothes like that?
"Ding!"
The elevator went down another floor. Doors opened, it was an acquaintance.
Chrollo.
He was holding a lady's hand. The lady was about to enter, and Chrollo entering with her saw Hisoka. Both froze for a second.
Hi, so ka.
Usually, when Chrollo saw Hisoka alone, he'd either pretend or run. But this time, in one instant, the thief's extreme intent was already in Chrollo's hand.
This tense atmosphere, really?
Saiki Kusuo guessed. Really, after he left, a lot of plot followed the original track.
After the famous troupe war, Hisoka killed two of Chrollo's members, and Chrollo finally held a grudge against Hisoka. He boarded the ship to the dark continent, determined to take Hisoka's head and cake to honor the dead and celebrate victory.
Though hard to say if a head next to cake is a second hit to taste and smell, can you really be happy? Probably mental issues after losing comrades.
From thoughts, couldn't tell. At this moment, neither thought about their fight plans at all, just how to counter if the other moved first.
"Duel, Hisoka. Since you're here, the others don't matter."
"Mm~ I'm thrilled Chrollo invites me, but not yet? Not ready. Before picking fruit, learn patience~ If you kill me now, I don't mind fulfilling the vow right away."
Saiki Kusuo looked between them, even he felt the tension.
Should stop this? No, just watch. Their life or death isn't his business.
Wait a bit more, now block them and ask if Illumi joined?
Anyway, others think he's a Zoldyck butler now.
...
After long frozen atmosphere, the fight ready to erupt didn't start.
Chrollo said puzzled: "What promise? Did we have any vow?"
"Eh? Aren't we talking about that?" Hisoka asked too.
Chrollo paused two seconds to think, raised two fingers.
"The Troupe has two things with you."
"First, give back my coat."
"Second. The chameleon cat was already our companion. Hurt him and we'll return double. Better hand it back safe and sound now."
Hisoka: "..."
Hisoka's face puffed like a bun.
"Of all things, this minor... Aren't you wearing a coat?"
"Minor?" Chrollo's calm hid a storm.
"Didn't notice the coat version is different? That one, from craft to materials, can't replicate the same now. It's limited edition. This version I'm wearing pairs with silver thread sleeveless turtleneck inside. The original gold thread long sleeve must match the one you took. Why do you think I wear two belts? The original's chest strap design pairs with the two belts. That design is also on my boots. With the one you took, my whole outfit is stuck in the base closet."
Just a coat, is that why the Phantom Troupe boarded the ship? So ridiculous?!
"Make another, you say too easily. Do you know how irreplaceable a coat is, with every detail of leather, collar, design carefully selected? In the manga, my coat is different on every page!"
Hey. I can break the fourth wall, if you did, what would be left to play?
Hisoka unmoved: "Coat's with little Illumi. It was with your member from the start. Didn't little Illumi tell you?"
Chrollo: ...
Saiki Kusuo: So it's with big brother. You two have a good relationship... Wait, what did he just say.
Chrollo: "Fine, I'll check. Setting that aside for now, second thing. Where's the chameleon cat?"
"Gone~ After the ship sank, who cares about that little thing?"
Chrollo's veins faintly jumped.
Hisoka leisurely with hands on hips, threw a wink at the woman Chrollo brought.
Chrollo: "Though I guessed this... Hisoka."
"Mm~"
"Can I punch you?"
"I'm all for it, please bruise the left cheek~" Hisoka with hands on hips, eyes squinted happily into fox lines. "But we can't fight casually. I didn't forget the vow we made before. If you forgot, Chrollo, I'll remind you. If we fight, I'll go all out."
Chrollo looked coldly at Hisoka.
"Not just that, what's your extra aim?"
"If Chrollo doesn't know, I won't tell you." Hisoka put fingers to lips. "We can fight anytime, but it won't be simple. Look forward to our intense, clash~, dear~"
Chrollo: ...
Though Chrollo didn't know, the psychic did.
Saiki Kusuo heard Hisoka's thoughts.
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