Misato Katsuragi, somewhere...
"I'll kill you!!! You bastard!!! You little bastard!!! You fucking insane brat! You fucking indifferent guy!!! I'm so nervous I'm about to go grey, and he's drinking with the Russians! And it would be fine if it was beer! He's drinking cognac! You little wretch! And I can't-i-i-i! I'LL KILL YOU!!!"
Misato's internal monologue could have continued for a long time, but was interrupted by a calm and slightly condescending tone:
- Relax, Misato, everything is fine. The Angel is destroyed, the pilot is unharmed, the Eva is undamaged, everything is great.
Katsuragi turned purple, she no longer had enough words to express the emotions raging inside her, she just desperately wanted to, well, at least a little, hold the neck of one small incarnation of the devil that was sitting opposite her.
- So the pilot wasn't hurt, huh? Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately!? There's not a single unharmed spot on you! How can you even walk?! You should be lying flat out, unconscious, not trying to calm me down! - Shinji shrugged his shoulders indifferently and, without lifting his head from the wall of the helicopter, answered measuredly:
- That's the kind of strange animal I am, Misato. All claims are against the universe.
- You... You... - Misato literally choked on air from indignation, and the guy sitting opposite, without showing the slightest concern or discomfort from his wounds, turned to the glass of the porthole and began to look at the landscape rushing past him with a bored look. - Now quickly lie down on the bunk and don't dare move! - the captain exploded after less than a minute.
"By the way, Misato, this sounds like sexual harassment," Shinji said, not taking his eyes off the glass. "It's not that I mind, but it's like we're not alone."
The medical girls, who had been carefully huddling in the corner and pretending to be interior details, desperately dreaming that the commander's anger would not touch them and that no one would remember them at all, huddled even tighter. Which did not escape the gaze of Katsuragi, who suddenly flared up.
- I'll kill you! I'll kill you myself! Without any Angels! If you don't lie down immediately! You're an idiot, don't you understand that you're going to bleed to death?!" Shinji gave her a sad look in response and with a resigned sigh, he finally moved to the stretcher that was waiting ready, where he stretched out, looking at the ceiling. - Ugh... Why is it always so difficult with you?
- Mmm... - Ikari drawled thoughtfully. - There are several reasons for this. First of all, I'm a misanthrope...
"Be quiet! Shinji, be quiet! I can't stand this!" the captain begged, even clasping her hands together for clarity.
- As you say...
An hour later, at the NERV hospital:
"Ritsuko, you have no idea how I was shaking..." Misato exhaled heavily, leaning against the wall.
- Mm? - Dr. Akagi raised an eyebrow in surprise, looking up from her tablet.
– Just imagine, there's a fourteen-year-old teenager sitting in front of me with bandaged, burnt hands and a tightly bandaged torso with a deep wound running through it... and he's not at all bothered by it. He was even bored by what was happening, as if neither the pain nor the prospect of imminent death really bothered him at all. But he could have died at any moment! But he refused to even lie down! The crazy idiot... And those two? What kind of doctors are these?! They just bandaged him up and sat in the corner the entire flight, afraid to breathe! No help at all!
- Well, let's say he couldn't have died right there, - Ritsuko began soothingly. - The wound is certainly deep, but in fact only the skin and a little muscle tissue were damaged, and there was almost no bleeding, the blood coagulated very quickly. Although the pain threshold is really impressive...
"I didn't know that!" Misato interrupted her friend expressively, but she didn't pay any attention to it and continued speaking:
- ... As for "those two", they are very promising specialists, surgeons from God, if you like. Of course, they lack a little experience, but... And anyway, did you see yourself in the mirror when you were getting off the helicopter? I don't understand how they even remained conscious.
"Are you kidding me?" Misato narrowed her eyes.
- A little, - Akagi smiled warmly at her friend. - You know, when you're angry, it's scary to approach you. What did you expect from twenty-year-old girls who were transferred to us only a month ago? Especially since they did their job very well.
"Okay." Misato deflated and sighed tiredly. "Are you sure Shinji is okay?"
- Well, if this term can be applied to him...
- Seriously?
- Seriously, it could have been much worse. The hands have first and second degree burns. The torso is a smooth cut with second and third degree burns, but nothing serious is affected. Of course, it will take a long time to heal, they are burns after all, but we'll discharge you in about two weeks.
- Two weeks? No earlier? - Katsuragi became alarmed, having obviously relaxed during his story.
- Hm?.. - the doctor looked at her friend with surprise. - Just don't tell me that it's all about what he cooks for you.
"Well..." the head of the operational department was demonstratively embarrassed.
Akagi covered her face with her hand, although a slight smile still appeared on her lips.
- You are incorrigible... Just now you were afraid for his life and now you want to force him to work for you again... Aren't you ashamed?
"Well, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Misato leaned over playfully, holding her open palm out in front of her face, edge toward her friend. "He just cooks so well..." she finished dreamily.
In response, Akagi only sighed heavily. "After all, Misato knows how to defuse the situation... when she herself is not shaking with excitement." The doctor smiled inwardly...
- Well, hero, how's the regime? Are we following it? - Misato burst into my room, keeping an excited smile on her face.
- Misato, please bring my player, and the rest of the things if desired.
- Eh... - the girl jerked her head. - You shameless impudent fellow! What kind of address is that to a superior officer? - the captain pretended to be indignant, and very pretended.
"I can think of a dozen tender and affectionate nicknames for you, and you can choose the one you like," I suggested calmly.
"No need," Misato said in a deadened voice and took a clear step back.
- Okay, I won't, but it's really boring here without a player.
"Is that all you care about?" the girl slumped her shoulders wearily.
- Of course not, I am worried about many things, but you are not able to solve the rest of my problems.
- What, really none at all?
- Well... - I looked at Katsuragi thoughtfully. - In a certain sense, you have abilities, but you just won't do it.
- Okay, stop! Was that a hint of intimacy again?
- That's him.
- Parasite!
- More like a symbiont.
- You bastard!
– Everyone has shortcomings.
- R-r-r-r-r-r!!! Where did you pick up all this?! Fourteen-year-old teenagers shouldn't behave like that!
- Now you're making me repeat myself.
Misato gritted her teeth, her fists already clenched until her knuckles turned white. However, the poor Katsuragi girl was saved from further disgrace by the opening door. Ayanami stood on the threshold, holding a package with her healthy hand and looking around the room with an attentive, neutral gaze.
"I brought Shinji's things..." Rei thought about something for a moment and looked at me. "Or should I say 'Lieutenant Ikari' now?"
- I suppose, since we're not in the command center and there are only our own people here, "Shinji" is the best choice.
"I see." The girl stepped into the room and carefully closed the door, walking to my bed, where she placed the package on the visitor's chair.
- Thank you, - I took the bag on my lap and quickly found the player there, fortunately Rei took all my things. - Sit down. - I nodded to the girl at the vacant chair. - By the way, Misato, I hope my fee for killing Angel will remain at the same level, of course I am not against an increase, but your office would rather cut it.
- Why are you telling me this? - the captain pouted, even lowering her head. - As if I'm the one setting the salary...
- Well, if I'm not mistaken in the theory of industrial relations, then issues of bonuses and salary increases for employees should be pushed through by their immediate superiors. - The bag took its place on the floor next to the bed, and the "droplets" of the headphones settled in my ears.
- Look at all the smart words we know, - Misato muttered grumpily, narrowing her eyes meaningfully. - Someone should have gotten me a raise myself. Do you even know what a pain in the ass that is?
- I can guess, - I responded monotonously, settling myself more comfortably in bed and starting the player. - That's why I used the term "hope", because as one very smart person said - hope is a stupid feeling, - I closed my eyes and sighed, yawning slightly. - Certainly in my situation.
There was silence in the room for a few seconds, only the melody of "Always Somewhere" was quietly playing in my ears, then I felt some movement from the side and a moment later "Katsuragi's Punishing Hand" fell on my head.
- Bastard! Small, nasty, narcissistic, impudent bastard! Shameless, melancholic monster! Scoundrel! No! Parasite! Just a parasite! Well, there is no evil left! - Misato accompanied her expressive speech with inspired shaking of my head, such a maximally perverted form of tousling my hair, with elements of sadism in the form of sharp claws digging into the skin and pulling by this very hair. By the way, although Misato did all this very heartily, she did not cross the line.
"Rei, now you are observing the typical behavior of a representative of Homo sapiens, blaming your savior for all mortal sins as soon as the immediate danger has disappeared, it's so human..." I shared my experience with Ayanami, speaking evenly, without even opening my eyes.
"I see," the girl answered with a barely noticeable note of surprise in her voice.
– I'LL KILL YOU!!!