I'm still salty about the freebie of a lifetime slipping through my fingers. My inner Greedy Hamster is chewing the bars and squeaking, "Go back and get it." So yeah—if the Hapsael summon is the ticket, then we're punching that damn ticket.
Destination: an old training ground nobody's used in years. Perfect place to do something incredibly stupid and possibly holy.
I started with a pentagram… then remembered: Hapsael's an angel, and pentagrams are for demons. Good news: I have flexibility. Bad news: I have zero actual summoning knowledge beyond movie clichés.
Prayers? Hard pass; I'm not on speaking terms with Heaven. Shamans? They vibe with spirits and make noise around a fire. That, I can do.
I hauled wood for three hours—ripped out old makiwara posts and dragged them like a discount ox, ran back home for matches, and finally got the bonfire roaring by evening. Then I proceeded to dance around it like a discount tribal god, howling "Hapsael, come!" every lap and banging on—
System: Item Granted
Shaman Drum — Basic enchanted percussion. Rhythm increases trance chance.
—yeah, that. The drum popped two hours in. Three more hours of stomping, chanting, and mild self-humiliation later, my brain started drifting into trance mode. Then came party favors.
System: Consumable Granted
Mystic Mushrooms — Warning: May open your mind, your chakras, and the door to a very bad time.
Somewhere around hour six or seven—I lost count after snack time with the purple-winged dudes—I felt a power stir inside. The System flashed alerts I didn't read; I was too busy being spiritual as hell. The circle hummed. The air tightened.
I was this close to pulling Hapsael through when a spike of pain picked my brain like a lock. Lights out.
Elsewhere — Hiruzen
Third Hokage sat in his office with the latest surveillance report on the jinchūriki and grew more worried with every line. Early files said "minor instability." Seal intact. All normal—for a kid like him.
It still felt wrong. Ever since the sealing, the boy had… quirks. Lately, random villagers were snapping, trying to hurt him, then forgetting why. The newest incident was a red flag with a bull attached.
He'd loitered by an open manhole for thirty minutes, swearing to himself (verbatim, because ANBU apparently quote like court stenographers). Hiruzen rubbed his temples. "I need to remind the team not to transcribe every filthy word. These reports read like smut with footnotes."
Then the kid headed to a derelict training ground, lit a bonfire, danced, sang, and played something nobody could identify. When Hiruzen asked for audio, he regretted it instantly. "A rare kind of howling," the report said. Accurate.
Nine hours later—near dawn—red eyes and orange flares of chakra started flickering. The watcher immediately moved in, neutralized the target, and had him delivered to the hospital.
Tests showed hallucinogenic mushrooms in the system. They cracked his mind open just enough for the Nine-Tails to poke around. No lasting harm, the med-nin said, but they wanted observation for a few days.
"And where did he find bijū mushrooms?" Hiruzen muttered. Then: "Issue more Ichiraku meal coupons. If he's eating there, he won't eat garbage… and we won't have any fox-related 'incidents.'"
Hospital — Me
"God, I know that ceiling." First thought on waking up—tied to a bed. Cute.
I pulled up the logs. According to the System: KO'd mid-ritual, hauled to the hospital, inspected thoroughly while unconscious, and strapped down. Visitors pending. Since I wasn't going anywhere, I went spelunking in Settings.
Bingo.
Settings → Skills
Active / Passive / Inactive
Inactive: Skills you own but have never triggered (quest rewards, bought items, passives you can toggle).Found:Illusion Barrier — Status: InactiveActivation Phrase (Default): "In the name of the moon, open!"
I wanted to headbutt the wall so hard it leveled up. I was doing everything right; the System just ships with a factory chant I'd never say even under torture. "Moon" my ass.
Next discovery: I'm being watched. How do I know? Reputation ticks.
During the ritual, my rep with an ANBU codename Cat took 12 hits and bottomed at –1600. Logs confirm: same guy KO'd me and sat on site for eight hours.
So yeah. Surveillance: 100% confirmed.
Question: why am I in a hospital bed instead of downstairs with Ibiki giving me a guided tour of Konoha's medieval collection? Answer: the seal's intact, and nobody can rummage through my head. Barely dodged that one. I need to be smarter than this. A lot smarter.
The screw-up with the ritual? Blame the mushrooms. Thanks for the alibi, System. I'll say I've been munching them for ages; it explains me arguing with shadows and my spiritual retreats to the Toilet Dimension.
The ritual wasn't a total waste, though. Besides the now-confiscated drum (and obviously the mushrooms), I picked up… something.
System: Achievement Unlocked!
Wasted ShamanYou can, with drum and ritual, summon beings "kindred to your spirit."
Dubious. One, they took my drum. Two, "kindred to my spirit" sounds like I'd summon an eldritch dumpster ferret with my attitude.
But then came the good stuff:
System: Core Update
Mana — Unlocked
Mana Pool: Tiny
Mana Regen: Poor (but existent, yay)
Nine-Tails Chakra — Partial Access
Available: 0.2% of full capacity
Stat Changes
END +2
Chakra Control +5
Now I can feel chakra. That's a start. Next: weaponize it.
A med-nin dropped by. I told him—with the purest face I could fake—that I found "magic mushrooms" on the orphanage grounds. "One makes the day good, two make it magical." He nodded gravely and asked if my stomach hurt. I admitted it did. He explained I was two helpings away from dying stupid. I promised to stop. Also, I'm "out." (Which is true. They confiscated my stash.)
Then came the visitor I least expected: Sarutobi Hiruzen himself. I was braced for Danzō or Ibiki with torture accessories, not Grandpa Leaf with a lecture series. He started with small talk—health, school, blah blah—and then poured three hours of friendship-love-unity sermon into my ears, crowned with the sacred Will of Fire. By the end I almost believed it. The man's a weaponized grandpa.
On discharge, he took me for a "friendly stroll" that ended—surprise—in Ichiraku. Treat's on him. I ate. It was good. It was also suspicious as hell.
The System didn't flag any new "mind-messing substance" after the mushroom fiasco, but my paranoia crawled out of its grave and started doing push-ups.
System: Achievement Unlocked!
Paranoid"If you don't see the trap in the broom in the corner, it's not because it isn't there. It's because it's well hidden."
Effects:
Chance to detect surveillance: +10%
Chance to detect traps: +15%
Chance to uncover secret conspiracies: +3%
Neat. I'm absolutely checking in with the Fox later, just in case.
Elsewhere — Danzō
The urgent report on the jinchūriki connected the dots. Sarutobi tried placing anchors but failed—there's an unknown mental safeguard. So he pivoted to soft control: hallucinogens and Ichiraku coupons.
He didn't anticipate the boy would overindulge like a champ. The "he found the mushrooms himself" theory died after a sweep of the orphanage grounds found nothing. It was Sarutobi. Confirmed.
Next move: feed the boy at Ichiraku where a loyal handler can dose correctly, preach the Will of Fire, and shape an attachment to the shop… and the village. Cruder than seals, but with the mind-protection in place, options are limited.
Danzō tapped the desk. Time to place his piece on the board. He began vetting candidates to slip into the jinchūriki's orbit.