"System, you damn bastard! You're full-on griefing me!"
"F*** this #%...##!"
"@%@%@%...**"
Ding. Host's physical condition is deteriorating.
"You son of a **...##"
In the middle of Uchiha Jun's non-stop swearing and mental breakdown…
Ding. Temporary control disengaged.
"You motherf—!"
As awareness returned, a flash of red light flickered across Jun's Sharingan. His eye sockets burned with heat.
Too bad his body had no strength left.
His head slumped to the side, and he collapsed onto the street like a ragdoll.
"Did that kid just get knocked out cold?"
"Who cares? Let's go check it out!"
"Wait—are you talking about…?"
"The women's bathhouse wall came down!"
"Holy crap—wait for me!"
Passersby barely gave the unconscious Jun a second glance before sprinting off in the direction of the commotion.
"Grrrrr!"
A giant, muscle-bound ninken appeared beside the collapsed wall, growling with bloodthirst in its eyes. "GET LOST!"
The crowd scattered in terror.
Inuzuka Tsume stepped out in her cloak, frowning as she looked down at the motionless boy soaked in blood.
After a pause, she muttered, "…Kuromaru. Get him to the hospital."
"You sure, Tsume? Kid barging into the women's bath isn't a small deal. You really want to cover for him?"
"…He's part of my squad now. And something's off about this whole thing."
Jun had stormed in, drenched in blood, heading straight for Tsunade of all people.
It didn't feel like some perverted prank. More like a desperate act of survival.
Tsume was there that morning when Mizuki's shuriken grazed him. It shouldn't have escalated into this.
She watched as Kuromaru lifted Jun onto his back like a dead pig and bounded toward the hospital.
Tsume sighed and turned back to the chaos.
Inside, the women's bath was in full evacuation mode. Patrons half-dressed, buckets in hand, fleeing in every direction.
By the hot spring itself—
"Ma'am…"
Lady Mitarashi and Shizune flanked Tsunade, who was still trembling violently.
When she finally raised her head, her face was ghostly pale.
Tsume's concern deepened.
Tsunade's still in the steaming water, and she looks like she's on death's door…
Tsunade gave a small shake of the head. Then, gripping her hair, she took a long moment to calm herself.
Finally, she looked up and forced a smile.
"I'm okay… Shizune, let's go."
"A-ah… okay."
Shizune hesitated before jogging off to grab their clothes.
Mitarashi glanced at the pair as they walked off, the larger figure draped protectively over the smaller.
She turned to Tsume. "What… what happened to Lady Tsunade? Why is she like this?"
Tsume lowered her voice. "She won't talk about it. And it's not my place to pry."
Mitarashi slowly nodded, still confused…
Next Morning
Jun stirred awake.
"Sniff… sniff…"
"…Why are you crying?"
"…No reason. Just remembering something sad."
"Hah. Crying over a broken heart when you don't even have hair on your balls. You're lucky you didn't get thrown in jail."
The white-coated medical kunoichi sneered and walked out with a sassy sway in her hips.
Jun wiped his tears silently.
He was crying. The damn system had nearly killed him.
"One more time I use Auto-Training, I'm taking your name and making it my curse."
Still sore from the memories, Jun cursed under his breath again, then began assessing his current status.
Still in a hospital bed.
Not in a cell.
That meant… things hadn't escalated into a criminal offense.
Age advantage, maybe? If he were a grown man who barged into the women's bath…
Yeah. He'd be in a prison cell at best. Maybe a public execution at worst.
"Sigh…"
He exhaled a long breath. What the hell is my life right now.
But at least he learned something valuable last night. The "medical plan" the system had initiated wasn't just random.
The system could detect nearby resources and abilities that could benefit him—even from others.
But it couldn't detect people's emotions or mental states.
The second he laid eyes on Tsunade… or rather, on what floated with her in the bath… Pfft! Damn it!
From that moment, he knew what the system had aimed for: the most elite medical ninja in the entire shinobi world.
Tsunade of the Legendary Sannin.
But it hadn't known—couldn't have known—that Tsunade suffered from a crippling fear of blood.
A PTSD-level trauma from losing her brother and lover in the war.
And now?
He'd screwed up that relationship right out of the gate.
Low-key survival? Careful development?
Gone.
Now he'd made an enemy of one of the Sannin before even leaving the hospital.
"Goddamn it, this system's gonna be the death of me…"
He groaned, rubbing his face with both hands.
Then paused.
His shoulder was wrapped in clean white bandages.
It didn't even hurt anymore.
That voluptuous medical kunoichi from before—was she the one who treated me?
Damn.
Konoha's medical corps really was the best.
But then again, it wouldn't have been possible without Tsunade's legacy…
Sigh…
Jun slowly sat up and looked down at himself.
They even changed my clothes.
Which made sense—his old ones were probably soaked in blood.
"Damn…" he chuckled bitterly. "So when that nurse said I was still 'wet behind the ears'... she wasn't kidding. She really knows."
"Hey, hey, what are you doing sitting up already?"
The same kunoichi returned, hips swaying as she scolded him.
"You lost too much blood. Sure, the wound's sealed thanks to the Healing Palm Technique, but you still need time to recover your strength."
She gave him a look. "Eat plenty of iron-rich foods. Soldier pills can help too. You're a shinobi now."
Jun gave a weak smile. "So, uh… you heard about the bathhouse thing?"
SMACK!
She snapped her clipboard shut and shot him a deadpan look.
"Who hasn't heard, Uchiha Jun?"
"If your squad leader hadn't vouched for you—said it was a desperate act for help—you'd be in a cell, not a hospital bed."
Jun nodded vigorously. "Absolutely! I saw Lady Tsunade had returned to the village. When I sensed my life was in danger, I ran straight to her for help."
He had to sell the story. Cement the idea that this wasn't a perverted stunt, but a desperate attempt to survive.
Bless Inuzuka Tsume. She insisted she was just the "team captain," not their teacher—but if she hadn't backed his version, this wouldn't have blown over so easily.
Jun added, "Please pass on my thanks to Lady Tsunade. I'd like to thank her in person. And apologize."
The medic gave him a sidelong glance.
"She's not the one who healed you."
"…Huh? Then… was it you? If so, thank you—"
"Not me either," she said with a smirk. "I don't have the chakra control or healing skill to fix a wound like that in one go."
"…Wait. Then who was it?"
"Not a member of Konoha's medical corps. You got lucky, kid."
She looked almost dreamy for a second.
"He's a world-traveling medical-nin. Came to Konoha just for a short exchange."
Her voice softened with awe.
"Name's Shinnō. A powerful healer known across the shinobi world."