Eddie was clearly hitting on Lillian.
All day long, I sneaked glances at the skinny teenager with copper hair, and he did seem a little creepy. So I did not understand what she could ever find in him. After all, she was clearly responding to his clumsy flirtation, and not sending him off, as it usually happens with her and any boys. She was a surprisingly loyal girl in this regard.
The key word "was".
It happened in a beautiful and all-understanding school in the tiny town of Forks, that's partially why no one was confused by the fact that the girl who hung on to me yesterday, as if I were her only salvation, now suddenly became interested in some guy whose name she just learnt.
Everyone was interested in Edward Cullen, it didn't surprise anyone.
What surprised them more was that he was interested in return.
It was a fantastic fuck-up - I was playing with emotions in that game of whack a mole, the one where you have to hit them with a hammer when they come out. As a result, Tomiko could barely restrain me from possible attempts to polish Eddie's face with my fists - this would call into question my, our conspiracy. I kept pretending to be sick and hopping around on crutches.
Without Tomiko, I endured exactly two days and after that we reconciled. It was logical that I wouldn't last long without her - the bitch became my closest friend, and simply texting in such a situation would be an idiotic half-measure. I quickly realized that I did not find it pleasant to torment both myself and her, and therefore it became easier to accept the fact that I would not live a normal life, that's one, and I need her help with all the supernatural like I need air, that's two.
To some extent, this could be called the beginning of my problems with Lillian. She was always jealous of my friend, but now Tomiko was the only friend for me who knew exactly what was wrong with me.
The day after Tomiko moved into the guest room, Lillian moved out of my bedroom.
"It's been a terrible day," Tomiko stated, plopping down on the couch in front of the TV.
"There may be a conflict," I muttered softly, but I knew that she would hear - after all, she's kitsune. "Why did she transfer here at all? Her goal was completely different... And now..."
"She does whatever she wants," Tomiko shrugged. "Her arrival here was only indirectly related to you. This is her manifestation of control over her life, not proof of some eternal love for you, Izzy."
"That's what I understand, but..." I sighed heavily and plopped down next to her. "It's only been a few weeks since this incident. I got hurt while saving her life. She's not a bad girl, morally I mean, even though she's controlling. I know her, she would just be embarrassed to respond to flirting right in front of my eyes without talking to me first. Her slyness is comparable to that of a hammer for train tracks."
"And she's also a bitch," Tomiko butted in, and shrugged her shoulders when I stared at her. "It's a statement of fact, love. She's only nice to you. And you didn't mind. Maybe it's for the best? You shouldn't get too close to any of them anyway... And maybe this is some sort of revenge for me?"
"It feels like you think I had much choice. Yes, she's a bitch, but..." I exhaled and buried my fingers in my hair. "She was paying attention to me, I took the first step with a kiss, yes, but she didn't mind at all. I almost never do anything on my own in a relationship, haven't you noticed?"
"This is an unhealthy attitude," Tomiko snuggled up to my side and hugged me by the shoulders. "I repeat again, maybe this is her revenge for me? And maybe it's really for the best? You won't get sucked into this vampire drama of theirs... You'll finish your studies in peace, we'll go to Europe, or Asia, somewhere far away from here."
"There's nothing but friendship between us, dearest," I said with undisguised sarcasm. "And she knows it perfectly well. And yes, we will. Maybe for the best, but it stinks, you know. I don't quite understand why she won't just say that's it, Izzy, that's it, thank you, but this is the end, and I have new plans. I'll understand and accept everything, I'm not like her, with this obsession..."
"Edward can read minds," she reminded me, and added, "but not with us. And the other one, Jasper, can manipulate and read emotions. And I've already told you about their dazzling. Maybe it has something to do with her behavior around them? Haven't you thought about it?"
"To manipulate? Dazzling?" I froze and slowly, very slowly turned my head to my friend. "And you're just telling me this now? I haven't watched or read about this damn universe, what the hell, Tomiko?! Tell me everything!"
"I did watch and read, but where's the fun in that, dear?"
She grinned like a fox and squeezed my forearm, while looking into my eyes.
Eyes that were gradually starting to burn with mad bad energy, I dare say.
"Are you... angry?" she blinked, so surprised, as if she didn't understand exactly what was going on in my head when there was an incomprehensible behavior of - still - my girlfriend, and the phrase "manipulation of emotions."
"I want to kick your ass," I said through gritted teeth. "I really want to kick your ass."
"In your dreams, honey."
She dodged my throw in her direction - an attempt to strangle her, no doubt, and rushed out of the house with a vicious cackle.
I caught up with her at some clearing in the woods - we were racing at a much faster speed than I could have let myself before I opened up to these... powers. Or rather, she opened them for me, with the help of omamori and a bunch of ass-kicking, if I was concentrating somewhere wrong. But I've more or less stopped flopping and accepted this... this animal part, like it was my nature.
Her tail appeared in sparks of transformation, her ears stood up and trembled slightly, and a familiar flame flared up in my chest - I pressed her to the ground and we breathed the air together, I wanted to kiss her, but I knew that she would not accept it, we'd already passed it, even before Lillian. Nothing has changed in this regard, yes.
These moments of intimacy happened more than once when we were "training" like that. She let herself be caught and clearly enjoyed our closeness. For her, it was a game of two foxes, nothing more, I knew she wasn't interested, but my feelings, I couldn't get away from. It was still Tomiko, the girl I had been falling for since the very first day we met, quite likely in many ways because she was a kitsune with whom I was magically compatible even before my first death, but I did not believe that our "animal" nature somehow influenced anything. Because then she would have felt the same thing for me.
No, it was me, not my vaguely fox-like something that resided somewhere in the depths of my soul. She wasn't interested in me, and I don't think she ever will be. In my future I will have plenty of reincarnations until I learn how to transform the way I want, and this crush - with the amount of time that it usually takes to learn! - it will definitely wear off! So... No fixating on it, nope.
I didn't care, really, I enjoyed her company and learned new things. We fought - well, I fought and tried to get used to new abilities, to find the limit, and she danced around me and giggled when I missed her. If it had been someone else, I would have exploded with rage and obscenities, but with her such trifles caused nothing but giggles as an answer. In this particular situation, of course, things took a more serious turn - she forgot to tell me something that changed my whole perception of the situation. But anyway, it was Tomiko, so I couldn't stay mad for long.
Lillian has been platonically - so far - cheating on me with Eddie, yes.
But I can't say that I was any better in this regard.