XI
24 October
23:40
.𖥔 ݁ .
I keep rereading the note he last gave to me.
The love in it is very evidently engraved, each stroke of the ink pen greatly enhanced and laced with utmost authenticity.
I can almost hear his voice and the way he speaks in his last letter to us.
That soft spoken voice that I remember Yume-Mi telling us when we first met her that she fell in love with.
That soft spoken voice that would calm me down in my hardest times.
That soft spoken voice that would shut out the fighting and the voices of those who hated us.
That soft spoken voice that scared my nightmares away, and scared away the haunting voices that roamed the corridors.
He spoke to me, my sister, and Yume-Mi so sweetly.
He gave us so much, yet felt like he gave us so little.
The words echoing in my brain as if he was saying goodbye to me directly.
"Aly, the second-to-youngest in the family.
By the time you are permitted to read this, I will be dead.
It will be after the 16th of September, also known as my eighteenth birthday by the time I will allow you to find this, and I will have been dead since midnight.
It's baffling that I can predict my own death, isn't it? I look insane, but I promise, I'll be gone, and you'll likely be constantly on the run.
You will likely seek answers from me and our loved ones who did unfortunately also get involved, but I assure you, I will watch over you and welcome you with open arms when your time comes.
To that, I'm sorry that you were dragged into this mess.
I apologize for not being able to protect you,but I did what I had to do.
♡
In another life, we are one big, happy family.
In a life that is not this one, we would be blessed with loving and devoted parents, making sure we were loved no matter what happened.
In another life, all four of us siblings would manage to live happily and not be scared to show our faces or say our last names:
Saito.
Atsuyo Saito.
Azazel Saito.
Aika Saito.
Alynne Saito.
We would be proud of who we are, but no. We cower in fear from our peers and our family's so-called friends because of our own familial reputation, and having Rosalin's last name in our blood sure as hell doesn't help our case either.
In the next life, we won't fear our last names getting leaked and our social status being completely blown.
Although, on a more positive note, Even though you're only eleven, and I've only known you no more than eleven years, the eleven years you were in my life were something I'll never forget, even after I've died.
Your precious laugh, the sound you made when you'd snore when you still slept in your crib, the times we had as siblings. The constant headaches your cries gave me when I was a teenager.
You were the light of my life, despite our last names meaning the opposite.
I'll never forget the times you needed help with homework, and you attempted to help me with my university level classes. Little known fact, you actually helped me pass.
Not only that, When our parents would argue, you'd always try to cover my ears, and your small hands were something I'd never forget. Granted you were small, you'd always make sure I was taken care of.
I remember being sick and you'd always make sure I wasn't coughing blood or something — since you know how we are. Our genetics absolutely fucked us over, haha.
You're a sweetheart, please never forget that.
And never let any boy ruin your perspective on what you deserve.
Because you deserve much more than a royalty title.
In fact, you deserve a loving and healthy relationship with society – unfortunately that will never be the case.
I think it's … pathetic — I have to write all of this down instead of appreciating you in person, but alas, I'm dead by now. I've been dead since the 16th of September. I'm not quite sure how I died, but I did it.
I finally did it.
Unfortunately, the prophecy was never broken, rather, it came true.
Even if you haven't been here my entire life, and I won't be in your life a majority of the time now —
I love you.
And I wish you well.
I'm sorry for this,
But keep running,
and put a stop to this curse.
Love,
Your big brother,
Atsuyo Saito. 𓏧♡"
⛦ ⛦ ⛦
Why did he have to leave.
I would repetitively ask myself. The chapter of this all falling back to me.
His stupid words written with love and signed with blood echoing through my mind like a broken record player. What we developed was forever gone.
He's never coming back.
He's gone forever.
All miracles are gone.
He's confirmed his death in his own suicide notes, even though his death wasn't even by suicide.
He was murdered in cold blood with his future girlfriend.
And I think the painful part of this was the fact the murder was obviously personal. Because not only was Atsuyo shot, he was stabbed not long after.
This made me sick to my gut.
My salty tears stained my journal sheets, the pain and agony racing to my chest. My breath never catching itself.
I couldn't breathe at this point.
I miss my brother.
I want my brother.
I couldn't look up from my journal, I feared seeing somebody standing over me watching me cry. I can't look pathetic anymore.
I don't want to grow up without him.
I can't grow up without my big brother.
I finally get the guts to look up from my journal to watch the clock.
23:59.
I hear it ticking, before it strikes midnight.
As soon as it does, a cold hug surrounds my neck, the embrace feeling like…
Atsuyo?
As soon as I form that thought, I hear his voice in my ear.
"Happy birthday, Princess."